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RIAA Writes Its Own News For Local TV

Posted by Zonk on from the how-generous-of-them dept.

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Did your local news recently do a two-minute clip on music copyright infringement? If so, you can thank the RIAA. They sent out a video press release to local news stations as part of their 'holiday anti-piracy campaign.' In it, they warn people that the best way to avoid counterfeit music is to avoid 'compilation CDs that could only exist in the dreams of a music fan' and to trust their ears, because illegally copied music usually sounds 'atrocious.' Instead, they encourage watchers to buy ringtones for Christmas."

12 of 282 comments (clear)

  1. you mean like Mothership? by croddy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hmmm... compilations... Track list encompassing exactly the finest output of Led Zeppelin... check Mastered so hot it sounds atrocious... check SOMEONE RING UP ATLANTIC. LED ZEPPELIN HAS BEEN PIRATED.

    1. Re:you mean like Mothership? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Holy crap! How'd the pirates get the grappling hooks up to the dirigible?

  2. Gah. by gardyloo · · Score: 4, Funny

    The video then shows iTunes digital album gift cards and a cell phone, for which you can buy Christmas-themed ring tones. God bless us, every one.
    1. Re:Gah. by shark72 · · Score: 5, Funny

      "I never understood why you would *buy* a friggin ringtone. Most phones these days have usb plugs built in, or an transflash slot. A little sound editing and some technical jiggery-pokery later, and you have WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT as a ringtone."

      I have no doubt that all of your friends are not only capable of the technical jiggery and the pokery, it's actually your hobby. You just love you some technical jiggery, particularly when it's with a side of pokery.

      Next time you're at Walgreens, look at five people (your friends don't count, assuming you pulled your friends away from their jiggery and/or pokery sessions to get them to come with you to Walgreens). Any five people. The middle-aged cashier. The jailbait playing with the lipstick. The creepy guy in the photo section. These people just don't have the jiggery/pokery aptitude necessary to roll their own ringtones. Okay, maybe the creepy guy in the photo section does. But those other four people: they're the ones who are buying ringtones.

      It's like that other question that boggles a lot of Slashdotters: why would anybody *buy* a friggen TiVo when with some spare computer parts, an IR blaster, a Linux distro and five troy ounces of jiggery/pokery, they could build their own? Sure, it smells like burned solder and you had to recompile the kernel a few times (the secret is "patch -pl -jiggery -pokery"), it doesn't have that cool lighting or the nice case or that bee-boop sound when you push the buttons, but you're STANDING UP to the MAN.

      "Best thing in the world to get a phone call in a public area to have your phone shout, "My anus is bleeding...""

      Interestingly enough, that's exactly what the creepy guy in the Walgreens photo section was shouting, too.

      --
      Sitting in my day care, the art is decopainted.
  3. Of course! by Wylfing · · Score: 4, Funny

    compilation CDs that could only exist in the dreams of a music fan

    Of course such things must be counterfeit. Everybody knows that the RIAA companies would never ever produce something that music fans would actually demand. 100% all good songs on an album, you've got to be kidding me!

    --
    Our intelligent designer has never created an animal that we couldn't improve by strapping a bomb to it.
  4. That explains by oahazmatt · · Score: 4, Funny

    In it, they warn people that the best way to avoid counterfeit music is to avoid 'compilation CDs that could only exist in the dreams of a music fan' and to trust their ears, because illegally copied music usually sounds 'atrocious.'
    So it sounds atrocious due to piracy, not the content itself. Interesting. That explains that burnt compliation: The Best of Yoko Ono.
    --
    Those who believe the Internet is private,
    find their privates are on the Internet.
    1. Re:That explains by MonoSynth · · Score: 5, Funny

      The Best of Yoko Ono I usually buy that album in sets of 25 or 50, on a spindle.
  5. Unbiased News Sources by andrewd18 · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's stunts like this one that make me happy I get all my news from unbiased sources like Slashdot.

  6. But you wouldn't... by Jess+(geek-chick) · · Score: 5, Funny

    steal a baby!

    --
    If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
  7. Re:They're saying "if it's good it must be pirate! by Butisol · · Score: 5, Funny

    Legally bought RIAA music has electrolytes. It's what ears need.

  8. Re:Disparity by shop+S+Mart · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, they meant pirate music. "Pirate music sounds atrocious." Have you ever heard pirates sing? It's not good.

    --
    "all i wanted was a pepsi..."
  9. Re:Disparity by Walkingshark · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey, keep your Ninja Propaganda to yourself.

    --
    The world you experience is only a close approximation of reality.