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Chuck Norris Sues Publisher, Tears Don't Cure Cancer

Google85 writes "Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him. The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said."

21 of 374 comments (clear)

  1. I'll try to get first post... by ergean · · Score: 5, Funny

    but Chuck Norris is already there.

    1. Re:I'll try to get first post... by FlyingSquidStudios · · Score: 5, Funny

      Threads? When Chuck Norris posts, they're chains.

    2. Re:I'll try to get first post... by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 5, Funny

      Chuck Norris does NOT post, the threads post to Him!
      Except for Soviet Russia, where the second reversal makes things normal again.
      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
  2. Good luck with that... by PhearoX · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Yeahhhhhh good luck with suing someone over what is clearly (read: the very *definition* of) satire.

    Satire is one of those things that has been so thoroughly proven to be protected, Chuck is a fool to file suit unless this book reaches the point of slander.

    1. Re:Good luck with that... by xtracto · · Score: 5, Funny

      by PhearoX (1187921) Alter Relationship on 09:11 AM December 23rd, 2007
      Chuck is a fool to file suit unless this book reaches the point of slander.

      Please, we should observe a minute of silence for Mr. PhearoX. As, calling Chuck Norris a fool was his last action in this world.

      RIP

      --
      Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
    2. Re:Good luck with that... by budgenator · · Score: 5, Funny

      PhearoX. is Mr. T in disguise and Mr. T can call anybody a fool.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    3. Re:Good luck with that... by Perl-Pusher · · Score: 5, Insightful
      From the article:

      Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities, the lawsuit alleges.


      This is where satire ends and defamation begins. I believe I will trust the courts decision over slashdot posts.
  3. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    You know why Justice is blind?

    She crossed Chuck Norris.

  4. Re:You can't handle the truth... by Anomolous+Cowturd · · Score: 5, Funny

    The truth can't handle Chuck Norris.

    --
    Software patents delenda est.
  5. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by weicco · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well there's already a joke about it.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
    --
    You don't know what you don't know.
  6. Why He Might Win The Suit by MichaelCrawford · · Score: 5, Interesting
    While it's true that parody is fair use, fair use only applies to copyright, not to trademarks.

    The names of famous people are trademarks. If I were to open a restaurant called Chuck Norris' Good Eats, I'd be infringing his trademark, not his copyright.

    This even goes so far that someone else who was not famous, but happened to also be named Chuck Norris could not use his own name as a business name.

    While IANAL, I heard about this on TV, so it must be true.

    --
    Request your free CD of my piano music.
  7. Chuck Norris... by djupedal · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...generates his own gravitational field.

    ...doesn't bend spoons w/his mind - he shits them out, all shiny and new, as needed.

    ...once completely sucked a man's eyeball clear out of the socket during a fight in the Philippines - optic never and all. He then spit it out into his hand, handed it to the poor bloke and whispered "I'm betting you NEVER look at me the same way ever again, Hector!"

    ...was born a woman, but decided early on he liked the thought of having hair on his back, so he willed himself into becoming the man is he today.

    ...took-off and landed a shot-up Cessna that had lost its landing gear simply by sticking his feet out of the cabin doors.

    ...chewed his own hand off to get out of hand-cuffs during a hostage situation that involved migrating pygmies. He then sewed it back on, using hair off his back as thread and a straightened paper clip - he burned a hole in one end of the paper clip by stacking disposable contacts onto his left eye, while looking at the clip and staring into the Sun.

    ...once rode a motorcycle backwards uphill in the desert for thirty-five miles in the dark...blind-folded. Of course drunk and with a bladder full of oxygenated white wine.

    ...made long distance phone calls in the 1980's using nothing but his vocal cords to hack the tone-controlled switchbanks.

    ...invented OBEs.

  8. Come On Guys... by Hangtime · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Norris has had good fun with Chuck Norris facts even going as far to cite the ones he liked the most. He has been very hands off when it came to the Internet world. You step over the line when you try to make a book and start selling for a profit. Without his likeness there is no Chuck Norris facts and they can be construed as derogatory. I see no problem here whipping out the lawsuit stick unless the publisher is ready to cut Chuck in for a good portion of the proceeds.

  9. Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by mangu · · Score: 5, Insightful

    My opinion is that Chuck Norris, and that entire model of what it means to be male, is stupid

    Are you aware that the whole "internet Chuck Norris" model may not represent the true person who is known as Chuck Norris?


    Strong people are aware of their feelings and thoughts

    His wikipedia article says that "Norris mentioned in his autobiography that his father had a very serious problem with drinking and "wasn't there" a lot for him growing up. Norris admitted that he loved his father but did not like him. However, he professed that he only felt pity for the man because "that was just how he was, and he missed so much."


    Strong people are cooperative, not adversarial

    The same article says "He also created ... a middle school and high school-based program intended to give at-risk children a focus point in life through the martial arts."


    How does that fit with your own preconceived image of Chuck Norris?



  10. The sad thing.... by edwardpickman · · Score: 5, Insightful

    is he has become a joke but unlike most of the Hollywood hero types he is the real deal. He's won more Karate championships than anyone and is a legitimate star athlete in the sport. His films were rarely all that serious other than maybe the one with Bruce Lee. He had fun making some silly movies and an even sillier TV series but it's sad it's damaged his name. He's not an actor and has terrible tastes in what projects he's taken on. He's made a lot of money at it and not really harmed anyone along the way, with his films and TV series anyway, so I say more power to him. He worked hard for his name for better or worse so he has the right to protect it. It's just too bad he'll be remembered as a third rate action hero instead of the world class athlete he is.

  11. Another aggregator gets rich off our input by svunt · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Is it just me, or are other people getting kind of sick of providing all the material for someone else to make money from? I know Norris will lose this, and rightly so, but I'm just getting a bit tired off all the pricks capitalizing on our creativity. Off topic, I know....

  12. Except this ain't about satire by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If you actually knew anything about the story you would know that Chuck Norris never had a problem with the mythical facts satire itself, he even has quoted his favorites on occasion. He is fine with the satire bit. What he is NOT fine with is that this book by Penguin has collected these facts/jokes about him (jokes the author collected, NOT wrote himself) and now published them for profit using his name (a trademark) and likeness.

    I am also not quite sure that original creators of the various facts appreciate having their work printed without getting a share.

    This seems to be a publisher wanting to make a quick buck of someone elses work using someone elses reputation. Somehow I can't see a jury having much sympathy for them.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.

  13. Re:It's satire at worst by nametaken · · Score: 5, Funny

    OMG you're so dead.

  14. Re:Idiotic by ruel24 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I actually met and attended a seminar of one of those that did defeat him, Vic Moore (a seriously tough dude!). I was actually a student of John Jelks and George Davis, who were Vic Moore's second and first black belt students, respectively.

    http://victormoore.org/

    I also met Chuck Norris, as a child, at the USKA Grand Nationals back in the 1970's. He was a very nice guy. I don't understand the hatred for the guy. He's never bragged about himself in public the way that Steven Segal has, and he's lived up to everything he's about. He actually was a great champion during his competitive days, and thus struck a bond with Bruce Lee and was featured in one of his films as a result. What's to dislike about him?

  15. Case closed! by quick2think · · Score: 5, Funny

    When Chuck Norris sues, he brings the verdict, not the charges.

  16. Re:Looks great but by Tikkun · · Score: 5, Funny

    Chuck Norris would never run Linux, but if he did the license would change from the GPL to the CNL.

    Why wouldn't Chuck Norris run Linux? Because he can just put an Ethernet cable in his mouth and talk directly to the Internet.