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Apple Patents 'Buy Stuff Wirelessly, Skip Lines' Tech
An anonymous reader writes "Apple is looking to patent a process that will save customers the hassle of waiting to order a cup of coffee at a local Starbucks. Even better: The technology would let you jump the line of those ordering in person. 'Customers might tap a button to order their favorite drink, say a double-shot mocha, as they stroll up to the nearest coffee shop. When the drink is ready go to, the device--such as an iPhone--would chime or blink to let the thirsty one know it's time to scoop up the order at the counter. The patent puts Apple's partnership with Starbucks in a new light. The technology promises to morph Apple from the business of simply selling gadgets and music and movies that can be played on those devices into an intermediary in all kinds of exchanges.'"
There is a local 24 hour diner that I sometimes eat at late at night. Generally from 2:00 AM onwards, there is a huge drunk crowd. I place my order over the phone so that when I get there I don't have to wait in line to order. Sometimes, if there is a long line and I didn't expect one, I call from my table to place my order. When my order is ready, the wait staff yells out my name, wirelessly no less, to notify me that my order is ready.
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 is the magic number.
There's one problem though. If customers did it that way then they wouldn't get to act like a douche at the counter about the staff getting their 10 word drink correct nor would they get to feel all special ordering a 10 word drink out loud. One of my college teachers used to work at a Starbucks and trust me he said, "People really are like that. Every one of them." They don't want convenience and speed, they wanna walk in and act like the most self important dick in the world and pretend they're rich by spending like $8 on a coffee. If you take that away, they'll stop coming!
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My dad wouldn't do that, because he's dead. Anyway, being dead, he wouldn't be caught dead in a Starbucks.
Don't piss off The Angry Economist
Your patent application has been denied due to prior art on the part of your mom.
Point taken. I will no longer cut in line at any Starbucks located in Pakistan.
I did it for Johnny.
No, no, this is completely different from any of those things. Now you'll be using Apple products and services, so it will all be inherently much better in a magical way that can't be described using pathetic human words.
I thought of an even better idea. You call in your order to starbucks and they BRING the coffee TO YOU. Kinda like a pizz...uh, I mean kinda like something nobody has ever done or thought of before.
I forgot to mention how this is going to breed pretentious attitudes from guys who don't bother to talk to anybody in Starbucks and then scoff at the employees for not automatically knowing that they are there for their coffee because, "Duh, I iOrdered it with my iPhone iHead of time." The next thing they are going to want is an iRedCarpet rolled out for them when their Apple software alerts Starbucks that they are nearing the store... but that functionality would take a GPS, and the iPhone doesn't have one. Oops.
I'm glad you got there before me. I was thinking that this jerkwad with the slick iPhone was going to get his latte via suppository rather than a regular cup. This might sound appealing but there's going to be hell to pay in the lines.
But then you had to go and mention customer service as if anyone gives a damn about that anymore.
We need a patent to punch the guy in the mouth when he strolls up with his iPhone asking for his double latte foo-foo coffee drink for $15.75 before we can get our morning grog.
Allow me to explain this in the only medium capable of convening the magic, interpretative dance! (the goggles will do nothing).