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Command Line Life Partner Wanted

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the cli-user-seeks-same dept.

emj writes "Craiglist offers an interesting approach to finding a life partner , summmary: "There is a sad truth to the world today. I am part of a dying breed of people known as "shell users." ... Because there are fewer and fewer of us, I must help keep our lineage alive. I am looking for someone to help me do this. I need a woman (obviously) who is willing to raise a child with me in the method of Unix."."

30 of 503 comments (clear)

  1. hmmm... by hbean · · Score: 5, Funny

    grep -i 'single white female' /usr2/home/women/*

    --
    "Give someone a program, frustrate them for a day... Teach someone to program, frustrate them for a lifetime."
    1. Re:hmmm... by EvilMonkeySlayer · · Score: 5, Funny

      grep: /usr2/home/women/*: No such file or directory

      *Sniff*

    2. Re:hmmm... by oliderid · · Score: 5, Funny

      grep -i 'white female' /home/me/Desktop/women/*

      1256 pictures found.

    3. Re:hmmm... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      grep -i 'asian schoolgirl' /home/me/Desktop/women/*

      *error insufficient memory

    4. Re:hmmm... by ohtani · · Score: 5, Funny

      ohtani@darkstar:~$ man woman
      Segmentation fault (core dumped)

      --
      Pancakes. Oh I blew it.
    5. Re:hmmm... by somersault · · Score: 5, Funny

      basement# grep -i 'single white female' /usr2/home/women/*

      Your mom

      --
      which is totally what she said
    6. Re:hmmm... by ResidntGeek · · Score: 5, Funny

      Just a heads-up, it's generally considered improper to seek a wife from one's own home.

      Try /pub.

      --
      ResidntGeek
    7. Re:hmmm... by cruff · · Score: 5, Funny

      I found this to be more correct:

      % man woman
      No manual entry for woman

    8. Re:hmmm... by operagost · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ok... this is exactly why you guys only have pictures of women.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    9. Re:hmmm... by Cerberus7 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You ran that as root? What are you, crazy? You might as well hand over your car keys and bank account numbers to her! Oh, wait, that happens anyway...

      --
      I don't know about you, but my servers run on the power of cotton candy and happy thoughts. -Anonymous Coward
    10. Re:hmmm... by rbowles · · Score: 5, Funny

      Pictures?!?!?
      I find a textual representation to be much more accurate and efficient. Certainly much easier to write an efficient parser for text than for a picture.

      --
      /* MAGIC THEATRE
      ENTRANCE NOT FOR EVERYBODY
      MADMEN ONLY */
    11. Re:hmmm... by spatialguy · · Score: 5, Funny

      % make love
      no target to make love

  2. One things for sure by clubhi · · Score: 5, Funny

    This kid will get all the chicks.

  3. How they make children by ORBAT · · Score: 5, Funny

    who && gawk && uname && talk && date && wine && touch && unzip && strip && touch && finger && mount && fsck && more && yes; yes; more; yes; umount && make clean && sleep

    1. Re:How they make children by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      9 months later, fork() and spawn()

    2. Re:How they make children by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 5, Funny

      You forgot "head".

      --
      No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
    3. Re:How they make children by Mr.+Underbridge · · Score: 5, Funny

      who && gawk && uname && talk && date && wine && touch && unzip && strip && touch && finger && mount && fsck && more && yes; yes; more; yes; umount && make clean && sleep

      See, that's just laziness. What about parallel threads, exception handling, and race conditions? ;)

    4. Re:How they make children by The+Ultimate+Fartkno · · Score: 5, Funny

      > and race conditions

      How can you post something like that on MLK day?

      (I expect at least one mod point for not forcing a really clunky "I have a d-ram" joke...)

    5. Re:How they make children by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...and race conditions?
      They have drugs to treat premature ejaculations now I think...
  4. Re:Unichs? by u-bend · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're asexual. They respawn when killed.

    --
    u-bend
  5. No graphical interface ... by StripedCow · · Score: 5, Funny

    Obviously, her looks are completely unimportant.

    --
    If Pandora's box is destined to be opened, *I* want to be the one to open it.
    1. Re:No graphical interface ... by niceone · · Score: 5, Funny

      Obviously, her looks are completely unimportant.

      Yeah, it's character based.

      --
      ccalam - acoustic versions of new songs.
  6. He almost had me going... by mr_gerbik · · Score: 5, Funny

    Until I read this: I've been known to actually turn down offers of "two chicks at the same time."

    Seriously though, I'd love to see the look on two girls' faces when this guy says, "Sorry ladies, I'm looking for a vi user, and you two look like you can't even use Word."

  7. What a poser by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 5, Funny

    N.B. - on the issue of relocation. I live in a place where my income/expense ratio is proper (i.e., greater than 2:1). I'm willing to live anywhere in the world where this remains true.
    As if. A real Unix geek would use a symbolic link.
    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  8. Re:his kids will tame him or suffer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    You must be a real hit at parties.

  9. ...and "tail" by Joce640k · · Score: 5, Funny

    very important, that one...

    --
    No sig today...
  10. ONE child? by Jesus_666 · · Score: 5, Funny

    He wants ONE child? Okay, so either he doesn't want his family to go anywhere or his grasp of the Unix way is very light. Of course he needs MANY children, each good at one and only one thing:

    One child can read and write.
    One child can do math.
    One child knows how to operate a car.
    And so on.

    Then, in order to do anything useful he pipes together the children. That's the proper Unix way of founding a family.

    --
    USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
  11. How this could end up... by E-Lad · · Score: 5, Funny

    [daleg@home]~$ ./significant-other
    Reading configuration from ~/.sorc...
    Welcome to GNU Significant Other! It's Monday, January 21, 2008:

       -- It is trash night.
       -- It is recycling night.
       -- Fault in dishwasher water supply was detected on 1/19/2008. Please address by 1/23/2008
       -- "Poker Night" appointment in calendar observed. This conflicts with "Movie with kids"
       -- Snow is predicted tomorrow during the evening. Please ready sho
    ^Z
    [1]+  Stopped       ./significant-other
    [daleg@home]~$

    1. Re:How this could end up... by Alioth · · Score: 5, Funny

      [reiser@home]~$ kill -9 %1
      [1]+ Killed ./significant-other
      [reiser@home]~$ _

      --
      Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
  12. I can just hear it now! by techpawn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Because there are fewer and fewer of us, I must help keep our lineage alive. I am looking for someone to help me do this. I need a woman (obviously) who is willing to raise a child with me in the method of Unix."."
    Mom: There's something billy wants to say to you dear...
    Dad: What is it son?
    Son: Well, ever since I was young I knew I was different... Not like the other boy you wanted me to play with and...
    Dad: Billy? Are you telling us you're gay?
    Son: No! Not that dad...
    Dad: Well son what is it?
    Son: I've been dual booting XP for weeks now! I want to use a GUI!
    Dad: WHAT?!! I have no son!
    --
    Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country did to you