Command Line Life Partner Wanted

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Command Line Life Partner Wanted

Posted by CmdrTaco on Monday January 21, 2008 @04:19AM from the cli-user-seeks-same dept.

emj writes "Craiglist offers an interesting approach to finding a life partner , summmary: "There is a sad truth to the world today. I am part of a dying breed of people known as "shell users." ... Because there are fewer and fewer of us, I must help keep our lineage alive. I am looking for someone to help me do this. I need a woman (obviously) who is willing to raise a child with me in the method of Unix."."

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hmmm... by hbean · 2008-01-21 04:21 · Score: 5, Funny

grep -i 'single white female' /usr2/home/women/*

--
"Give someone a program, frustrate them for a day... Teach someone to program, frustrate them for a lifetime."
1. Re:hmmm... by EvilMonkeySlayer · 2008-01-21 04:29 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  grep: /usr2/home/women/*: No such file or directory
  
  *Sniff*
2. Re:hmmm... by oliderid · 2008-01-21 04:32 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  grep -i 'white female' /home/me/Desktop/women/*
  
  1256 pictures found.
3. Re:hmmm... by Anonymous Coward · 2008-01-21 04:39 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  grep -i 'asian schoolgirl' /home/me/Desktop/women/*
  
  *error insufficient memory
4. Re:hmmm... by ohtani · 2008-01-21 04:55 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  ohtani@darkstar:~$ man woman
  Segmentation fault (core dumped)
  
  --
  Pancakes. Oh I blew it.
5. Re:hmmm... by somersault · 2008-01-21 05:00 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  basement# grep -i 'single white female' /usr2/home/women/*
  
  Your mom
  
  --
  which is totally what she said
6. Re:hmmm... by rbowles · 2008-01-21 05:18 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  xargs does the trick nicely here (and most versions of find expect arguments after the pathname).
  
  # find ${SOMEPATH} -type f | xargs grep -i "${PATTERN}"
  
  --
  /* MAGIC THEATRE
  ENTRANCE NOT FOR EVERYBODY
  MADMEN ONLY */
7. Re:hmmm... by ResidntGeek · 2008-01-21 05:30 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Just a heads-up, it's generally considered improper to seek a wife from one's own home.
  
  Try /pub.
  
  --
  ResidntGeek
8. Re:hmmm... by cruff · 2008-01-21 05:45 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I found this to be more correct:
  
  % man woman
  No manual entry for woman
9. Re:hmmm... by operagost · 2008-01-21 05:46 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Ok... this is exactly why you guys only have pictures of women.
  
  --
  
  Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
10. Re:hmmm... by Cerberus7 · 2008-01-21 05:54 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  You ran that as root? What are you, crazy? You might as well hand over your car keys and bank account numbers to her! Oh, wait, that happens anyway...
  
  --
  I don't know about you, but my servers run on the power of cotton candy and happy thoughts. -Anonymous Coward
11. Re:hmmm... by rbowles · 2008-01-21 06:26 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Pictures?!?!?
  I find a textual representation to be much more accurate and efficient. Certainly much easier to write an efficient parser for text than for a picture.
  
  --
  /* MAGIC THEATRE
  ENTRANCE NOT FOR EVERYBODY
  MADMEN ONLY */
12. Re:hmmm... by spatialguy · 2008-01-21 10:44 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  % make love
  no target to make love
One things for sure by clubhi · 2008-01-21 04:22 · Score: 5, Funny

This kid will get all the chicks.
"dying breed"? by neiko · 2008-01-21 04:24 · Score: 5, Insightful

I'm not sure I agree that shell users are a dying breed. Being a young developer (25yo) I and most, if not all, my co-workers are using a shell to develop and run unit debug/trace in. I think the amount of computer users in general has gone up so merely the ratio of shell/gui users has gone down.
1. Re:"dying breed"? by soliptic · 2008-01-21 07:01 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  Er, what?
  
  Maybe YOU don't do any graphic design, video editing, audio production, etc; maybe all YOUR computer use is text-based stuff; I don't see how you can extrapolate that to a blanket statement of fact for the entire world.
  
  Unless you know any graphic designers who use command line photoshop? > photoshop -select 50,101,40,50 -addtextlayer font:helvetica size:17pt antialiasing:crisp text:"Hello" -addlayerstyle styletype:bevel Much better. Right?
  
  Or how about, say, ATC systems? I'm sure it's really easy to spot, at a glance, two planes getting too close for comfort when you're given an 80x25 screen full of numbers, as compared to a graphical representation.
  
  Er... no... doesn't really work, does it. So your +4 insightful is... well... not.
How they make children by ORBAT · 2008-01-21 04:24 · Score: 5, Funny

who && gawk && uname && talk && date && wine && touch && unzip && strip && touch && finger && mount && fsck && more && yes; yes; more; yes; umount && make clean && sleep
1. Re:How they make children by Anonymous Coward · 2008-01-21 04:35 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  9 months later, fork() and spawn()
2. Re:How they make children by $RANDOMLUSER · 2008-01-21 04:35 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  You forgot "head".
  
  --
  No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
3. Re:How they make children by Mr.+Underbridge · 2008-01-21 04:36 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  who && gawk && uname && talk && date && wine && touch && unzip && strip && touch && finger && mount && fsck && more && yes; yes; more; yes; umount && make clean && sleep
  See, that's just laziness. What about parallel threads, exception handling, and race conditions? ;)
4. Re:How they make children by The+Ultimate+Fartkno · 2008-01-21 04:55 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  > and race conditions
  
  How can you post something like that on MLK day?
  
  (I expect at least one mod point for not forcing a really clunky "I have a d-ram" joke...)
5. Re:How they make children by Anonymous Coward · 2008-01-21 05:03 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  ...and race conditions?
  They have drugs to treat premature ejaculations now I think...
Re:Unichs? by u-bend · 2008-01-21 04:27 · Score: 5, Funny

They're asexual. They respawn when killed.

--
u-bend
his kids will tame him or suffer by m0llusk · 2008-01-21 04:27 · Score: 5, Insightful

Most people aren't command line geeks because they have no desire for that. If this person has kids and empowers them then they might become anything, but if this idea of spawning a kind of clone persists then the kids are likely to be constrained, unhappy, and ultimately failures at life.
1. Re:his kids will tame him or suffer by Anonymous Coward · 2008-01-21 04:47 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  You must be a real hit at parties.
No graphical interface ... by StripedCow · 2008-01-21 04:28 · Score: 5, Funny

Obviously, her looks are completely unimportant.

--
If Pandora's box is destined to be opened, *I* want to be the one to open it.
1. Re:No graphical interface ... by niceone · 2008-01-21 05:35 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Obviously, her looks are completely unimportant.
  
  Yeah, it's character based.
  
  --
  ccalam - acoustic versions of new songs.
He almost had me going... by mr_gerbik · 2008-01-21 04:32 · Score: 5, Funny

Until I read this: I've been known to actually turn down offers of "two chicks at the same time."

Seriously though, I'd love to see the look on two girls' faces when this guy says, "Sorry ladies, I'm looking for a vi user, and you two look like you can't even use Word."
What a poser by $RANDOMLUSER · 2008-01-21 04:32 · Score: 5, Funny

N.B. - on the issue of relocation. I live in a place where my income/expense ratio is proper (i.e., greater than 2:1). I'm willing to live anywhere in the world where this remains true.
As if. A real Unix geek would use a symbolic link.

--
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
reminds me of this by Mr.+Slippery · 2008-01-21 04:36 · Score: 5, Insightful

Reminds me of this old column by Joab Jackson:

Say you want to date a system administrator, or sysadmin for short. (And why wouldn't you? They rake in the phat bux for maintaining office computer networks.) The choice is clear: Go for someone specializing in Unix, not Windows. The Unix sysadmin may be slothful and go missing for entire weekends on a Dungeons and Dragons binge. But it's the Windows sysadmin who'll unwittingly hose you with a dangerous virus. And that's far worse.
What, you might ask, could the operating system a person chooses to spend time with possibly reveal? Everything...Windows is designed for people who don't want to spend a lot of time fooling with their computers. It simplifies tasks, giving us pretty boxes to point and click at.
...
Think about these qualities for a sec. Which would you rather have in a lover? Who would you rather have as an intimate -- someone who takes time to understand your quirks thoroughly, or someone who merely pushes your buttons whenever you malfunction? I'm not saying all Windows NT people are obedient, shallow half-wits driven only by desire for material gain. I'm just saying that if you want to fish a decent specimen from the dating pool, you might be better off starting on the Unix side.

--
Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
You cannot wash away blood with blood
...and "tail" by Joce640k · 2008-01-21 04:48 · Score: 5, Funny

very important, that one...

--
No sig today...
ONE child? by Jesus_666 · 2008-01-21 05:04 · Score: 5, Funny

He wants ONE child? Okay, so either he doesn't want his family to go anywhere or his grasp of the Unix way is very light. Of course he needs MANY children, each good at one and only one thing:

One child can read and write.
One child can do math.
One child knows how to operate a car.
And so on.

Then, in order to do anything useful he pipes together the children. That's the proper Unix way of founding a family.

--
USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
How this could end up... by E-Lad · 2008-01-21 05:07 · Score: 5, Funny

[daleg@home]~$ ./significant-other Reading configuration from ~/.sorc... Welcome to GNU Significant Other! It's Monday, January 21, 2008: -- It is trash night. -- It is recycling night. -- Fault in dishwasher water supply was detected on 1/19/2008. Please address by 1/23/2008 -- "Poker Night" appointment in calendar observed. This conflicts with "Movie with kids" -- Snow is predicted tomorrow during the evening. Please ready sho ^Z [1]+ Stopped ./significant-other [daleg@home]~$
1. Re:How this could end up... by Alioth · 2008-01-21 05:22 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  [reiser@home]~$ kill -9 %1
  [1]+ Killed ./significant-other
  [reiser@home]~$ _
  
  --
  Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
I can just hear it now! by techpawn · 2008-01-21 05:08 · Score: 5, Funny

Because there are fewer and fewer of us, I must help keep our lineage alive. I am looking for someone to help me do this. I need a woman (obviously) who is willing to raise a child with me in the method of Unix."."
Mom: There's something billy wants to say to you dear...
Dad: What is it son?
Son: Well, ever since I was young I knew I was different... Not like the other boy you wanted me to play with and...
Dad: Billy? Are you telling us you're gay?
Son: No! Not that dad...
Dad: Well son what is it?
Son: I've been dual booting XP for weeks now! I want to use a GUI!
Dad: WHAT?!! I have no son!

--
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country did to you