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Smartphones Patented — Just About Everyone Sued 1 Minute Later

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the definition-of-a-patent-troll dept.

This week the US Patent and Trademark Office issued a surprisingly (although I guess it shouldn't be) broad patent for a "mobile entertainment and communication device". Upon closer inspection you may notice that it pretty much outlines the ubiquitous smartphone concept. "It's a patent for a mobile phone with removable storage, an internet connection, a camera and the ability to download audio or video files. The patent holding firm who has the rights to this patent wasted no time at all. At 12:01am Tuesday morning, it filed three separate lawsuits against just about everyone you can think of, including Apple, Nokia, RIM, Sprint, ATT, HP, Motorola, Helio, HTC, Sony Ericsson, UTStarcomm, Samsung and a bunch of others. Amusingly, the company actually first filed the lawsuits on Monday, but realized it was jumping the gun and pulled them, only to refile just past the stroke of midnight. "

30 of 407 comments (clear)

  1. If I had invented the smartphone... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would be pissed that all these tech companies rake in the money by ripping off my invention. Good thing the patent system protects our geniuses from intellectual property theft.

    1. Re:If I had invented the smartphone... by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 5, Funny

      While your points are solid, here at the USPTO we pride ourselves in granting patents regardless of originality, gross obviousness and indeed, patentability itself.

      We like to think of ourselves as a progressive institution.

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    2. Re:If I had invented the smartphone... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Odds are:

      a) you didn't get the joke
      b) you didn't get the joke
      c) you didn't get the joke

  2. I have a question, your honour by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you hear me now?

    1. Re:I have a question, your honour by StargateSteve · · Score: 2, Funny

      good.

  3. Manufacturers to release hardware fix by JonTurner · · Score: 4, Funny

    Update kit consists of one drop of superglue, which you apply to the flash card. Presto -- no removable storage.
    Who's laughing now, Mr. Patent Troll?

    1. Re:Manufacturers to release hardware fix by trickno · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't have removable storage for my phone. I have a removable phone for my storage.

    2. Re:Manufacturers to release hardware fix by nschubach · · Score: 4, Funny

      I call mine MemorySkin. It completely covers and protects my memory from harm (me dropping it.) I even found one that covers both my memory and my camera!

      --
      Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
  4. Re:Good for them! by qmaqdk · · Score: 3, Funny

    Good idea. I wan't to patent patenting and sue the Patent Office for infringement.

    Hope nobody beats me to it...

    --
    My UID is prime. Hah!
  5. Re:Prior art? by DaveM753 · · Score: 5, Funny

    everyone?

  6. Re:Good for them! by qmaqdk · · Score: 3, Funny

    Noooo. Wan't?! What was that?!?!?

    Wa not? Want not? WAN not?

    *sigh*

    Preview lesson learned.

    --
    My UID is prime. Hah!
  7. They forgot to sue one party by ady1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I noticed that they left out God...!!!!

    1. Re:They forgot to sue one party by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      But they got Apple, makers of the Jesusphone, so it all evens out.

    2. Re:They forgot to sue one party by mrchaotica · · Score: 5, Funny

      After all, where would God get a lawyer?

      I'd bet he could think of one particular angel that'd be suitable...

      --

      "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

  8. Re:Good luck by Marcion · · Score: 5, Funny

    how do they expect to fight a war on 10 different fronts...

    ... I hear Darl McBride will be available on the job market very soon...

    --
    My little Linux and tech blog
  9. I'd like to Patent a Business Model Please by Gat0r30y · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do you think I could patent the business model of patent trolling? Then sue all the companies needlessly tying up our legal and patent systems with this crap. Just a thought... maybe Ive just been at work too long.

    --
    Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
    1. Re:I'd like to Patent a Business Model Please by whassaname · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sorry but I've already patented that - pay up please.

    2. Re:I'd like to Patent a Business Model Please by darjen · · Score: 2, Funny

      I wonder if I could patent the art of Slashdot trolling... I could make millions!

  10. Re:Prior art? by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 5, Funny

    Bueller?

  11. Re:What I don't Get... by cromar · · Score: 3, Funny

    I doubt it's pot. If they were smoking a bunch of weed, they probably would be too stoned to go through the applications without laughing their asses off.

  12. Re:What I don't Get... by b100dian · · Score: 2, Funny

    A little more patent files like this and USPO will be history.
    Really, if someone patents the phone, then the windows, then the weapons of mass destruction, USPO will be gone forever. I mean it.

    --
    gtkaml.org
  13. Re:What I don't Get... by The+One+and+Only · · Score: 2, Funny

    Failing government services are rarely abolished, just half-assedly reformed until they appear to work better while in fact degrading the quality of service.

    --
    In Repressive Burma, it's not just your connection that dies. slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=314547&cid=20819199
  14. Re:They sued WHO? by TheRaven64 · · Score: 5, Funny

    The same IBM that has a larger patent portfolio than the next-highest competitor by a substantial margin? A large patent portfolio is only a threat against companies that actually make something. Standard operating procedure these days is to spin off separate companies to do the patent trolling.

    The fact that IBM's lawyers are colloquially known as 'Nazgul' should probably be more worrying to them.

    --
    I am TheRaven on Soylent News
  15. Re:What I don't Get... by Bill,+Shooter+of+Bul · · Score: 1, Funny

    Yeah, everyone I know have always assumed crack to be their inhaled narcotic of choice. It has a nice rich smell with hints of oak, coffee,hazelnut and goes well with their crazy pills.

    --
    Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
  16. Literally by kidcharles · · Score: 2, Funny

    I thought the title of the submission was just figuratively describing the speed of the lawsuits by saying "1 minute later" but that's exactly what happened.

    --
    Ceci n'est pas une sig.
  17. Re:Good luck by shmlco · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just just be nine different fronts. Apple should file for summary judgement and immediately sue them for filing a frivolous lawsuit. The iPhone doesn't have "removable storage".

    --
    Any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.
  18. Re:Good luck by SuluSulu · · Score: 3, Funny

    how do they expect to fight a war on 10 different fronts...

    ... I hear Darl McBride will be available on the job market very soon...
    That's a great idea! We should send him to negotiate with the terrorists. I'm sure they will give him the welcome that a man of his station deserves.
  19. Re:Prior art? by smittyoneeach · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."
    [edited from the script but I'll add, since it's on topic:]

    "The USPTO collectively stood up in front of the world and yelled 'We are the largest collection of asshats in the history of mankind'. I guess Ferris was a pretty keen cell phone investor, so, it's off to Dr. Spaceman's office with him to get a little something for the depression, you know."
    --
    Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
  20. Wait until MY abusive patent comes out... by Vthornheart · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... I've been filing for continuation on a patent that was originally applied for in 1845. When I finally let rip, I'll begin suing people who make not just smartphones, but cellular phones, touch-tone phones, rotary phones, the estate of Alexander Graham Bell, and the guys who wrote the patent being talked about in this story.

    Sincerely,

    SCO

    --
    -Vendal Thornheart
  21. Re:Prior art? by pesc · · Score: 2, Funny

    I would like to see just about everyone you can think of, including Apple, Nokia, RIM, Sprint, ATT, HP, Motorola, Helio, HTC, Sony Ericsson, UTStarcomm, Samsung and a bunch of others file a class action law suit against the Patent Office for screwing up the market by not doing its job.

    Not gonna happen, but it would rock...

    --

    )9TSS