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Scientists Claim Infrared Helmet Could Reverse Alzheimer's Symptoms

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the feeling-light-headed dept.

penguin_dance writes "Ready to put on your thinking cap? There's a report out of the UK regarding an 'experimental helmet which scientists say could reverse the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease within weeks of being used'. The helmet is to be worn for ten minutes every day and stimulates the growth of brain cells using infra-red light. The article explains, 'Low level infra-red red is thought to stimulate the growth of cells of all types of tissue and encourage their repair. It is able to penetrate the skin and even get through the skull.' Human trials are due to start this summer." I wont make any nomad-based predictions, but I'll remain on the skeptic side of the fence for now.

9 of 201 comments (clear)

  1. Spaceballs The Helmet! by Zymergy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Seeing the linked article's image of the 3 Doctor's holding their experimental "Prototype Cognitive Helmet", I can't help but imagine one of them wearing it while reenacting Rick Moranis' doll-play monologue from Spaceballs:

    [Playing with his dolls]
    Dark Helmet: [In Dark Helmet voice] And now Princess Vespa, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to.
    [In Vespa voice]
    Dark Helmet: No, no, go away, I hate you! And yet... I find you strangely attractive.
    [In D.H. voice]
    Dark Helmet: Of course you do! Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you *know* it!
    [In V. voice]
    Dark Helmet: No, no, leave me alone!
    [In D.H. voice]
    Dark Helmet: No, kiss me!
    [V]
    Dark Helmet: No! Stop!
    [D.H]
    Dark Helmet: Yes, yes!
    [V]
    Dark Helmet: Oh, oh, oh! Ohhhh, your helmet is so big!

  2. My only question... by thatseattleguy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Will it work even if I'm wearing my tinfoil hat?

    1. Re:My only question... by ILuvRamen · · Score: 1, Funny

      it seems thinner than a skull but who knows. My question is, once it makes you remember what channel the sci fi network is on, will your (infrared based) remote work? Ooh you know what would be even funnier! I'm thinking it pulses IR light in patterns cuz otherwise just plain old beaming from the sun would do it too like other ppl commented. And to get through your head, they're gonna be DAMN BRIGHT so if some escaped out part of the helmet the light pulses might change your TV. So then you'd be sitting there with the helmet on and you hit the on switch and the TV starts wildly changing channels and the volume and stuff and you're like "OMG I can't control TVs with my mind with this on!" They'll have to list that on the side effects to the treatment on the commercial. "May cause dry mouth, phantom third arm syndrome, and feeling that you can control TVs with your mind"

      --
      Google's Super Secret Search Algorithm: SELECT @search_results FROM internet WHERE @search_results = 'good'
  3. head warmer? by Raptoer · · Score: 2, Funny

    It shines a light on your head in the infrared spectrum... which is basically heat radiation... So it's a head warmer?

    I know IR has more things than heat associated with it, but still... its a head warmer!

  4. But seriously, the weather by iminplaya · · Score: 3, Funny

    An 80-year-old couple is having trouble remembering things, so they go
                    to the doctor to make sure there's nothing wrong.
                    After an exam, the doctor says, "You're physically okay, but you guys
                    might want to start writing notes to help you remember things."
                    That night they're watching TV when the old man gets up from his chair.
                    His wife says, "Where are you going?"
                    He says, "I'm going to the kitchen to get a glass of water."
                    She says, "Will you get me some Vanilla ice cream?"
                    He says, "All right."
                    She says, "Don't you think you should write it down?"
                    He says, "I don't have to write it down. Vanilla ice cream."
                    She says, "And could I have strawberries and whipped cream?"
                    He says, "All right."
                    She says, "Don't you think you should write it down?"
                    He says, "I don't have to write it down.Vanilla ice cream with
                    strawberries and whipped cream."
                    Twenty minutes later he walks in and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.
                    She says, "You forgot my fucking toast."

    --
    What?
  5. But... by hyades1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Will it help me remember what I actually wanted when I went down the steps to the basement?

    --
    I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
  6. Re:Sunlight? by Bearhouse · · Score: 2, Funny

    Assuming that you live in a place with a regular, consistent source of sunshine.
    Plus older people tend to avoid the sun, as they can't stand the heat / brightness, quite apart from the cancer risks...

    Still, on a lighter note:

    Doctor: I'm sorry, Mr Smith, but your wife's symptoms match either Alzheimer's or AIDS.
    Smith: *gasp* What can I do, Doc?
    Dr: Well, I suggest you take her into town, and leave here there. If she finds her way home, wear a condom!

  7. Reminder by phorm · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't worry about that, I can remind you...

    Your last words before doing so were "mom, I'm going back to my room now" :-)

  8. Re:I've heard this before......... by El+Torico · · Score: 2, Funny

    "We age because our cells lose the desire to regenerate and repair themselves."

    I have this image of brain cells getting depressed and just hanging around, slowly degenerating.

    --
    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is usually crucified.