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CERN Scientists Looking for the Force

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the yes-that-force dept.

An anonymous reader writes "National Geographic has a fascinating article on the God Particle, which can help explain the Standard Model and get us closer to explain the Grand Unified Theory. The obligatory Star Wars-angle summary is even better: 'CERN's scientists, the fine people who brought us the W and Z particles, anti-hydrogen atoms and hyperlinked porn web pages, are now hard at work building the Large Hadron Collider to discover something even cooler: the Force. Yes, that Force. Or like physicists call it, the Higgs boson, a particle that carries a field which interacts with every living or inert matter.'"

35 of 284 comments (clear)

  1. Obligatory by drunken_boxer777 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Use the Large Hadron Collider, Luke."

    1. Re:Obligatory by Stanistani · · Score: 4, Funny

      There are two particles involved, differentiated by spin - light and dark.

      They will inevitably come to the dark side.

      --
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    2. Re:Obligatory by Opportunist · · Score: 4, Funny

      Proof that light and dark force are like matter and its antimatter: Every time Luke and Darth Vader met, something huge blew up.

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    3. Re:Obligatory by Anonymous+Cowtard · · Score: 4, Funny

      I wonder how many papers/emails/reports/whatever have been written where a d/r reversal typo has made its way to the final draft.

    4. Re:Obligatory by FishWithAHammer · · Score: 2, Funny

      Fundamental nucular fail.

      Fixed that for you.

      --
      "You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time."
    5. Re:Obligatory by Adambomb · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, and theres an even easier reversal issue for typists.

      --
      Ice Cream has no bones.
    6. Re:Obligatory by xarak · · Score: 3, Funny

      All my word documents end with ":wq"

      --
      Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
  2. That's all fine and good... by The+Ancients · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...but shouldn't they be focusing on something much more worthwhile?

    Like a working model of a lightsabre. Now that'd be really cool...

    --
    The Mothership
    1. Re:That's all fine and good... by Opportunist · · Score: 3, Funny

      And how do you want to use it sensibly without the force, you insensitive clod?

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  3. Atheism by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't believe in the God Particle. ...you knew that was coming.

  4. Oblig. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's in the Midichlorians reference.

  5. I misread that. by Trigun · · Score: 2, Funny

    "...and hyperlinked porn web pages, are now hard at work building the Large Hadron Collider..."

    Hadron...

    Dammit, too much time on Slashdot

  6. Experimental particle physics sounds like fun... by The+Ancients · · Score: 4, Funny

    From a linked article:

    That's the essence of experimental particle physics: You smash stuff together and see what other stuff comes out.

    and you get to do it with really expensive, shiny toys :)

    --
    The Mothership
  7. *A wave of magnetic flux passes* by Jedi+Holocron · · Score: 5, Funny

    These are not the particles you are looking for.

  8. proper translation by circletimessquare · · Score: 2, Funny

    hard at work, CERN's scientists are now
    the Large Hadron Collider, they are building
    brought us the W and Z particles, the fine people did
    anti-hydrogen atoms and hyperlinked porn web pages, they brought us as well, they did
    to discover something even cooler, they are
    the Force, it is
    that Force, yes, it is
    carries a field, it does, the particle
    interacts with every living or inert matter, it does
    the Higgs boson, it is
    call it so, physicists do

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  9. Well, good bye little blue planet ... by Sonic+McTails · · Score: 3, Funny

    Argh, don't these guys watch TV?, the entire planet will be reduced to the size of a pea once the mass of the Higgs boson is known ....

    (for the mods, its a reference to the scifi show Lexx ...)

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  10. Re:What? by Wandering+Wombat · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, to people who think that a Higgs boson is gravity, I guess it is informative. For everyone else, it's sort of like saying "a watermelon is NOT a puppy dog".

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  11. Re:Grand Unified Theory by user317 · · Score: 5, Funny

    If they are to find "Grand Unified Theory" I wander if it contains not only "The Function" that explains all interactions in universe but more importantly, why is function evaluated at all and how it is evaluated. Is it possible that any mathematical function can evaluate itself, and if not, is there any other explanation? That would be perhaps more interesting answer then The Function itself. Unfortunately its lazy evaluated, so we'll never know.
    --
    me fail english? thats unpossible
  12. Re:Here's a question: what if it's not there? by jamstar7 · · Score: 2, Funny
    are you suggesting perchance to use politicians in the collider similar to the Superconducting Kitty Collider?

    I could get behind that...

    --
    Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
  13. Re:What? by andy314159pi · · Score: 4, Funny

    "a watermelon is NOT a puppy dog".
    So I laid down all those newspapers for nothing!?
  14. Re:Grand Unified Theory by borgboy · · Score: 4, Funny

    omgplzmodfunnykthxbye

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    meh.
  15. Re:Here's a question: what if it's not there? by mOdQuArK! · · Score: 2, Funny

    I prefer the idea of smashing politicians into each other to see if the resultant collision creates an honest politician (the equivalent of antimatter).

  16. Re:Here's a question: what if it's not there? by somersault · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think you're a little confused. The large hardon collider won't work properly if you're behind it - you want the large black hole collider, next door.

    --
    which is totally what she said
  17. Re:What? by Opportunist · · Score: 4, Funny

    Not necessarily. Wait 'til you cut your puppy open and you'll be glad you did.

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  18. Re:Here's a question: what if it's not there? by Opportunist · · Score: 2, Funny

    Even if it doesn't, I'd consider the experiment a success.

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  19. Re:MOD PARENT IGNORANT by StreetStealth · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know we shouldn't rely on /. for physics advice, but last weekend, on the advice of a misguided commenter, I kicked a deuterium atom down the linear accelerator in my backyard the wrong way, and hoo boy! I won't be hearing the last of that one for awhile.

    --
    Your mind is clear / The things that you fear / Will fade with how much you / Believe what you hear
  20. Re:What? by owlnation · · Score: 5, Funny

    Unfortunately folks are mixing Newtonian and Einsteinian explanations of gravity
    Yep, never cross the streams.
  21. Re:What? by Kamokazi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Not on a Tempurpedic matress. Maybe that's why NASA uses it, it defies the laws of gravity!

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  22. Living or inert? by exp(pi*sqrt(163)) · · Score: 2, Funny

    All matter is made from the same fundamental particles whether it's "living" or "inert". That is until we discover the lifeform field they use on Star Trek.

    --
    Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
  23. Re:Space doesn't curve by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    IANAP, so if there are any real physicists out there correct me if I'm wrong
    Well I AM a physicist, and every single thing you said in that post is wrong. Thanks for posting this, because it makes my job so much easier: I don't have to post what is correct, just point to you and say "the opposite of that".
  24. Re:What? by TapeCutter · · Score: 2, Funny

    Your pencil doesn't move, everything else does. /itsallrelative

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  25. Fun with spelling by riceboy50 · · Score: 2, Funny

    The large hardon is looking for Higg's bosoms? I can relate to that.

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  26. Re:Grand Unified Theory by Agripa · · Score: 2, Funny

    Lazy evaluation could certainly explain quantum mechanics.

  27. Hey! HEY! by HiggsBison · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...the entire planet will be reduced to the size of a pea once the mass of the Higgs boson is known ....

    You wanna knock off the fat jokes!

    --
    My other car is a 1984 Nark Avenger.
  28. Re:That would be incredible. by Ralph+Spoilsport · · Score: 2, Funny
    thank you. my opinion exactly, which is why I get all "itchy" with "God" particles. I think the lack of a Higgs is not only more interesting, I think it is much more likely. From my readings in physics and such like, it seems apparent to me that the Universe isn't very Universal... A Higgs boson would give it a grand symmetry and "make sense", but since when has the universe ever made sense? Quantum physics pretty much blows that out of the water, and Goedel prevents us from complete understandings. So, the whole thing is a bit of a hack job. It's as if the universe didn't blast itself into glorious existence, like some grand and opulent sunrise - it's more like a really wet fart of explosive diarrhoea that splattered against the back wall of the hyper dimensional toilet of space.

    Sort of.

    No Higgs would be the kick in the ass humans need right now - we're on our own, and we're not getting out alive. So stop acting like greedy little fucks and get down to the facts so we can survive in this patchwork disaster of a universe.

    RS

    --
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