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Strict Order Boarding Would Get Planes in the Sky Faster
electrostatic writes "In a Nature.com oldie-but-goodie, a physicist says he has solved a problem that costs airlines millions every year: what is the quickest way to get passengers aboard an aircraft? Boarding is a serious issue for airlines, particularly those operating short flights that run several times a day, yet boarding times have steadily increased for decades. Back in 2005 Jason Steffen of the Fermilab in Batavia, Illinois said the method used by many airlines to this day is almost the worst. 'The best way to board, according to the researchers, would be a row-by-row, seat-by-seat, strict order. That would mean everyone lines up, row 25 first. I can't imagine fliers will go for that. Next best, they say, would be boarding all the window seats first, followed by those in the aisle. Obviously that's not practical, at least for couples or families traveling together.'"
they should move first class to the back of the plane and then all the rich fucks might have to see how crappy the rest of the plan is....
Don't call me back. Give me a call back. Bye. So yeah. But bye our, well, but alright we are on a shirt this chill.
Please line up in a tree and maintain the heap invariant while boarding. Thank you for flying nlogn airlines.
The fastest way to board is to have the seating area at the airport be a removable replica of the seating area inside the airplane. Then, when the plane arrives, the entire airplane opens up, the seating area (with passengers) is removed with a gigantic crane-like machine, and the new seating area (formerly known as the airport waiting area) is loaded in. The area formerly known as the airplane seating area is then put into place inside the airport, and becomes the new airport waiting area. Voila, the entire boarding process in 2 minutes.
That's probably the fastest way without resorting to powerful vacuums, but probably not terribly practical. The most practical way would be to build the plane with sufficient space in the aisle to avoid the "fat guy with the large carry-on that clearly doesn't fit into the overhead bin holding everyone up" problem, but they'd never go for that.
So, maybe a giant vacuum (for disembarking) combined with a giant cannon (for boarding) is the best way. We couldn't guarantee seat assignment this way, of course, but if we encased everyone in foam like the stuff in that car in Demolition Man, it should work with a minimum of injuries.
The problem with these researchers is they aren't thinking outside the box enough.
Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
1) First seat all the attractive women, evenly spaced with the most attractive furthest back.
2) Allow males to find their own seats.
3) Fill in the gaps with the old and ugly.
4) Store any children in the baggage h.. errr... Special Fun House.
The quickest way to board the plane is with a giant blender and a pump. The only problem you face is having to refund part of the ticket if a toe gets stuck in the blade and doesn't make the flight!
They should be able to fill it just as fast. Just open the slides, tilt them up, and slide them in from above.
What?
Your courageous and selfless spelling corrections have made me a better person.
That's because in first class you have a lot of stuff to get going. You have to get the complimentary champagne going, the foot massage, and select a random person from coach to be flogged for your amusement. If they waited until last to get seated, that'd take forever!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
I once flew around the Soviet Union a few years before the fall of the Berlin wall.
They had a very strictly enforced an order where people in the back of the jet got on last and got off first.
It seems that on at least some Aeroflot models, if you didn't have enough passengers in the front balancing the weight of those in the rear, the plane would tip backwards.
This study reminds me of the old joke about the early days of the space race.
NASA was worried about the effects of hi-G on astronauts, so they hired some ivory-tower types to work on the problem.
About three months later, they came back to NASA and said, "We've solved it!"
The NASA manager in charge asked them to detail their solution.
The head professor said, "OK. First, assume a perfectly spherical astronaut...."
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
and we would like to welcome our new passengers, the previous customers of FIFO Airlines, which went out of business due to time delays
GIGO Airlines has offered to honor our coupons, but you don't want to fly with them if you want get where you really wanted to go
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Well if you smear butter on them, then most Americans will be close to frictionless spheres.
The worst are people that cram around the boarding area and / or try to board when it's not their turn. Sometimes these people get waved through, but sometimes not. And if they don't get turned around to wait for their turn they end up blocking the people that could be getting seated in the back of the plane.
I always thought it would be great to have sort of a "bad boarder" or detention area to corral people off to the side of the gate that tried boarding at the wrong time. Just a nice little waiting area that they direct you to stand in and wait. And then once the entire plane has boarded you and all your non-boarding in time friends can join. And then everyone could give them a nice Nelson-style "Hah hah" laugh as they walked bye.
I gotta have more cowbell.
It's too bad slashdot doesn't have a 'sad but true' moderation.
I currently have no clever signature witicism to add here.
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
I think there's something to be said for thin people, not motivated chaos. :)
Europeans might use real butter. In America we would have used artificially flavored oil like the kind we cherish on our movie popcorn. There would be no way to stop passengers from just licking the delicious oil off though.
I think more efficient would be to just tranquilize all passengers and quickly have them sorted and loaded into the plane like luggage.
“Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire
That stewardess just re-invented the bubble sort!
Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
Nope, JetBlue copied Southwest. You have to realize that there are a lot of cultural barriers to accepting things like this. It's difficult for Northeasterners to admit that anything wasn't invented there.
Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
Jesus that's way too much stuff, I went on a 6 month holiday to Australia and all I took was a small mirror, some flints and some coloured beads. I bought the knife when I arrived.
Kinda trailed-off near the end there, didn't you?
Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
Well I just hitchhiked through the galaxy and all I had was this towel I found on a spaceship.
c++;
Patrick Doyle
I mod down every jackass who puts his moderation policy in his sig. Oh, wait a sec....
That's a horrible attitude. You're going to need us fatties in case the plane crashes in the mountains and you have to resort to cannibalism.