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In Soviet US, Comcast Watches YOU
cayenne8 sends us to Newteevee.com for a blog posting reporting from the Digital Living Room conference earlier this week. Gerard Kunkel, Comcast's senior VP of user experience, stated that the cable company is experimenting with different camera technologies built into its devices so it can know who's in your living room. Cameras in the set-top boxes, while apparently not using facial recognition software, can still somehow figure out who is in the room, and customize user preferences for cable (favorite channels, etc.). While this sounds 'handy,' it also sounds a bit like the TV sets in 1984. I am sure, of course, that Comcast wouldn't tap into this for any reason, nor let the authorities tap into this to watch inside your home in real time without a warrant or anything."
Note to self: no more sex in the living room.
not really. If you cover up the lens, the cable box goes "Your papers, please." Then you'll have to type your SSN or passport number in with the remote before you can watch TV.
sudo eat my shorts
Until the duct tape becomes illegal in some future legislation that is the love child of DMCA & PATRIOT.
I had to check today's date 3 times because I was sure this was an April Fool's story.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
No, they can't make that illegal because they've already told to lay in plenty of duct tape in case of a chemical attack.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
Well, we could say it's a lot like "Huckleberry Finn", only that wouldn't make a whole lot of sense.
Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
The ultimate reality show: watching yourself watch yourself.
No, no, no! Keep on spanking the monkey, but for the sake of the camera do it while surrounded by:
Roll 1d8:
1) Stuffed animals
2) Feminine hygiene products
3) Jars of Bovril
4) Jars of Marmite
5) Old computer hardware
6) Cassette tapes of ABBA albums
7) Duct tape
8) Any two of the above
With any luck, the Demographic Analysis software will either give up or -- unless 1960s SF shows have taught me wrong -- spew reams of paper tape, shout "DOES NOT COMPUTE!" in a tinny voice, and catch on fire.
I would just put my cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Boba Fett in the living room. :)
I'd just drape a white towel over the camera and smile as I am deluged with ads for snowshoes, fur coats, and skis.
After all don't we all have tape over the flashing 88:88's already?
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
It sees you when you're sleeping, it knows when you're awake, it knows if you've been bad or good, so be good or get blackmailed.
Does anything sound like a bad idea to these idiots? I can just see the board room discussion...
CEO: I'm thinking anal probes.
CLO: I don't think we're quite there yet, remember you have to work up to this stuff gradually.
CTO: We already know everything about their web surfing, let's expand on that.
CEO: What do you mean?
CTO: Let's build cameras into the converter boxes, this way we can watch them.
I'm a happy pessimist. I expect and prepare for the worst, when it doesn't happen I am pleasantly surprised.
well, this time tin foil has a real use, to cover the camera!
They're using their grammar skills there.
Hot Damn!!!!!
I've got my tinfoil hat and a screwdriver... Talk me through this.
I don't know about all that tape... hmmm, I might set it up so that Comcast spies^H^H^H^H^H^H employees can watch hours and hours of JibJab making fun of political figures. I might even play some YouTube videos of Richard Dawkins for them. Even better! I'll pipe al jazera tv to them 24/7.
Or maybe just set up a IR light box about 1.5 inches from the lens and let them watch the bright bright IR light. Power it from the box's switched outlet and whenever it is turned on the camera will be washed out with IR.
Perhaps if I repeatedly flash 'kill yourself' or 'kill bush' so it can be seen for a frame every 15 seconds we'll get to use subliminal messaging in reverse?
Noooooo, rick astely video 24/7 !!!!!
Support NYCountryLawyer RIAA vs People
True.. I suppose you could tape a picture of a celebrity over the camera, or maybe a picture of Comcast CEO Brian Roberts. "Good Evening, BRIAN, automatically tunning to FOX News. You're welcome."
They're over there right next to your couch. You really do need to clean up that mess in the hall, and you probably want to ask your wife why the UPS guy's clipboard is on the counter. They made so much noise it was hard for me to listen in on the neighbor's phone conversations.
I wonder how the box itself would respond to observing sex. Would it find them some pr0n, advertise condoms and morning-after pills, or perhaps turn the volume way up? Could one program it to switch to an abstinence-preaching Christian network to get them to stop?
Yes, but In Soviet Russia, YOU watch ... i mean Comcast watches... wait, what?
stuff |
Won't *someone* think of the cable box?!!
[badum-ching]
A Human Right
You're on Slashdot, home to the finest trolls in the galaxy, and the best you could come up with is a Rickroll?
C'mon, at least step it up to 2girls1cup
"I think an etch-a-sketch with an ethernet port would beat IE7 in web standards compliance."
Naw, just point it back at the TV set, and put it on E! all the time.
If someone is passing you on the right, you are an asshole for driving in the wrong lane.
Except when your favorite program is on. Then you give it a picture of the crowd at the Super Bowl.
rj
may cause those who view to Comcasturbate (TM)!
It's probably bad that the first thing I thought of was, "damn... no more watching porn in the living room"... ...or watching TV without pants ...or making out on the couch ...or building bombs on the coffee table
Raging in an online forum won't do anything for the world around you. To see change, you must take action.
Oh my Godwin, now you've done it!
Legalize it.
I was almost there with you till you said making out on the couch . Yeah right !!... oh wait, did you mean with an inflatable doll or something?
cheers, http://88.80.13.160/wiki/Wikileaks
You do realize this is intended to "customize user preferences", right?
OR take out the camera, extend the wires, and stick it pointing out the window.
OR if you're a REALLY smart uber nerd who makes me and most of us look like this guy, hack into Comcast's internal security network, find the feed from the camera in their restroom (you know a corporation this evil HAS to have cameras in the rest rooms) and patch THAT in.
-mcgrew
mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
On the contrary. I would proudly wave my pole to the camera, make 'em envious, and I would love to see their reaction after I...uh...well, you know. It would be a new form of target practice. Go for distance... and accuracy.
What?
Don't let that stop you. Maybe all the public relations nightmares and lawsuits might not stop this but nothing but video of a 100,000 nerds jerking off on the couch.... I bet that get the plug pulled on this bullshit in a heart beat.
Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification
Every cable box has a camera, and each user can browse the camera feeds. If your box ends up on the Popular list, you get a share of the ad revenue.
Combine this with an opt-out and you get a real "The Truman Show" -- it would replace YouTube with live video
Bigtime Consulting - "We're the best because we cost the most"