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China to Use Silver Iodide & Dry Ice to Control the Weather
eldavojohn writes "While we made light of it before, the MIT Review is taking a serious look at China's plans to prevent rain over their open 91,000 seat arena for The Olympics. From the article: 'China's national weather-engineering program is also the world's largest, with approximately 1,500 weather modification professionals directing 30 aircraft and their crews, as well as 37,000 part-time workers — mostly peasant farmers — who are on call to blast away at clouds with 7,113 anti-aircraft guns and 4,991 rocket launchers.' They plan on demonstrating their ability to control the weather to the rest of the world, and expanding on their abilities in the future."
Peasant farmers with rocket launchers. Lots of aircraft. What could possibly go wrong?
Ah, computer dating -- it's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head" -- Bender
...is four nosecones from 1960s nuclear weapon technology! HA! I knew it! *hide*
"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." -Groucho Marx
Step 1 -- Weather Controlling machines
Step 2 -- sharks with lasers
Step 3 -- Global domination!
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Those Chinese are going to be seriously disappointed when they discover that all their bullets and rockets just pass right through the clouds. "This is some magical, mystical force that flies in the air and is impervious to our bullets!" But I guess if they've played enough Super Mario Bros they might think there are hidden blocks in the clouds and the only way to find out is to keep shooting at it (until they find the super-size mushrooms).
.... most of the clouds happen to be over Tibet.
Nice. Instead of raining water, it will rain lead. Good thinking china.
First it rains.
Then it rains bullets.
Then it rains rockets.
Then it rains assorted aircraft parts.
Finally, much to the sha-grin of the Weather Girls, it's raining men!
"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." -Groucho Marx
If necessary (which I doubt), they'd use the fact that the Olympics are bringing great pride to China, and it is an honor to have our house bulldozed for our nation. And anyone who talks back is a Western sympathizer, and gets a ride in the van to FarAwayLand, after which their house is bulldozed anyway
"I think an etch-a-sketch with an ethernet port would beat IE7 in web standards compliance."
Let's just hope the farmers load the shells from the wooden boxes with the clouds on them, not the skull and crossbones, during the Olympics.
body massage!
Whatcouldpossiblygowrong?
Absolute power corrupts absolutely. indymedia
Did anyone tell them the animals in the clouds are not real?...
"All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
1. seed the clouds, make it rain,
You have this wrong, it should be as follows:
1. Call Pacman Jones, make it rain
Yea, but in Wyoming, farmers with anti-aircraft guns are called "gun enthusiasts" and they're REALLY firing them off because they're bored. I mean, have you ever driven through Wyoming? I'll tell you, by the time you're to the other side of it, you want to fire off a gun or two just for the excitement.
Now that Polaroid has stopped making photographic films, I was wondering what we were going to do with all those spare silver halides short of flooding the world markets with goth jewellery.
Now I can sleep happy knowing that the Chinese are going to be spraying them into the atmosphere. I'm not a chemist, but as someone with an interest in photography, I predict a negative effect on our climate which may take some time to develop but will take a whole lot of sodium thiosulfate to fix!
What "weather modification professionals?" Just where have you ever heard of anyone having a booming business of "modifying" the weather, outside of the funny papers?
The Red Chinese are looking more like bludgeoning buffoons every day.
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Regards;
"China must resolutely crush the Rain/Weather forces' conspiracy and sabotaging activities," The People's Daily, the mouthpiece of the ruling Communist Party of China (CPC), said in a hard-hitting commentary on Saturday as Beijing poured in thousands of Chinese troops to assert control in the restive Olympic regions of the country.
China alleged that the violent weather activities were "masterminded" by the Mother Nature "clique" with the "vicious intention" of undermining the Olympics and splitting China. Mother Nature has denied the charge, and said she is ready for a dialogue with Beijing.
Only white nations cause pollution, don't you know anything?
If you haven't made a developer cry, you've wasted a day.
And while they're working hard to control the weather, I'll just amuse myself over here by starting a large butterfly farm.
Well, at least now John Fogerty will have an answer to his question.
SIGSEGV caught, terminating
wait... not that kind of sig.
Little do they know... It is really the west, with its mechanical carbon dioxide generators that create the "strange" weather. We even have them making their own.. And now they produce more than we do. HAHAHAHA!
What?
DOH!