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Uwe Boll To Quit Making Movies With 1M Signatures
An anonymous reader writes to mention that Uwe Boll, the infamous German director behind such video game adaptations as House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Dungeon Siege and Postal, has recently admitted that he would retire from making movies if enough people want him to stop. When FearNet mentioned to Boll a petition online signed by 18,000 people requesting that he cease making films, Boll responded that '18,000 is not enough to convince me.' So how much would be enough? 'One million,' Boll said."
Where do I sign? Do you need blood? Money? A donation? How many times can I sign? Fucking I'LL SIGN!
Bad move. Never challenge geeks. We'll always find a way to overcome.
Uwe Boll is the worst director EVER.
Which is why you shouldn't sign the petition. His films are so bad that they're wonderful. Don't listen the gamers.
If you can tell me what's so bad about that, I can tell you what's so bad about Uwe Boll movies.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
I never realized that the "Springtime for Hitler" scam in The Producers was for real!
Ba-dum-dum!
Thanks, I'll be here all week!
Taking guns away from the 99% gives the 1% 100% of the power.
He can't possibly challenge all of us to boxing matches, right?
Way to go! Uwe Boll will continue making video game movies, even if the petition reaches one million signatures -- and it'll be YOUR, peragrin's, fault.
(Granted, I don't expect him to stop even if the petition does hit one million unique, verifiable signatures, but still, I'll blame you.)
I would think the fewer number of signatures would result in him having an increased chance of quiting. If they got 1 million signatures, that would mean that nearly 1 million people actually heard of him! He could claim that he has the presence to draw large numbers of people to his movies!
If he was only able to get 20~ 25,000 signatures no studio is going to look at and say "His works are so beloved that they are not complaining about him!" His career would be over.
The opposite of love is indifference. If you want his career over ignore him.
> Having never seen a Uwe Boll movie, can someone tell me what's so bad about him?
Perhaps this review of his version of Alone in the Dark will be instructive (as well as entertaining).
You work for the US Government's Torture Oversight Committee don't you?
It's a lot of work but worth it.
Soylent Green is peoplicious!
Ed Gruberman, is that you?
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
... will it take to stop Vista SP2?
Have gnu, will travel.
Heh, brings to mind a description on a torrent site of the first (and co-incidentally last) I ever saw. I had to download it after I saw this. I thought it couldn't be that bad... I was wrong. Here's the quote: "Without doubt, this is the worst film ever made, and probably that will ever be made. It is not worth the cost of a cinema ticket, it is not worth the cost of the power it took to keep my computer running to download it, it is not worth the cost of the power to keep your tv on as you watch it. It is not even worth killing the electrons that power that tv's tube, infinitesimal though their brief, tortured lives were. Avoid."
The truth shall always be free: Boris Floricic is Tron.
Remember, kids, puns are the lowest possible form of comedy with the sole exception of 'lolcatz'. Rickrolls, now those are funny!
If I mod you up, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with what you've said, sorry.
The problem is not that he's making movies, it's the movies he's making. He's being put at the helm of some of our favourite game franchise crossovers, and then butchering them mercilessly.
...
Imagine your favourite game in the world. You've beaten it on Legendary 15 times. You've read every spinoff novel. You've unlocked every single outfit and cooking utensil. Not only have you rescued the princess, you've persuaded her to get hot-coffee-mod-freaky with you. You own figurines of every single character AND the entire dev team. There's a personal dedication to you on the inside cover of the walkthrough. You've taken out whole battalions with 100% headshots using a catapult and a bag of frozen peas.
This game is your everything. Others might not understand, but it makes you happy, and that's all that counts. Then you find out that there's going to be a movie. On a given release date in the near future, your life will be complete. You impose a media blackout on yourself - no previews, no trailers, no interviews. Nothing that will spoil the anticipation, the cloud of pure joy on which you're floating. This is going to be the best shit ever.
The day arrives. You're at the first screening in the country, sitting front and centre. You've driven 1500 miles to be there. Your hands are shaking. You can't stop grinning.
Two hours later, your eyeballs are bleeding. The only reason you're still alive is that you chewed your own foot off. All that you know and love lies in smoking ruins.
The credits roll... "Directed by: Uwe Boll"
You get where I'm going with this, yeah?
Ok where's that petition ?
May contain traces of nut.
Made from the freshest electrons.
[...]
You get where I'm going with this, yeah? Umm, you really need a girlfriend?
OK. That's not fair.
Unless that screenplay was used for the basis of a video game which in turn was the basis for a Uwe Boll movie.
He improves civilizations in some ways [Citation Needed]
I'll believe in corporations having personhood when Texas executes one... - advocate_one