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Monster Cables Pushes Around the Wrong Small Company

Posted by Zonk on from the keeps-the-electricity-demons-out dept.

Alien54 writes "Audioholics has a fun read regarding a recent legal dustup involving Monster Cables. The well-known (some might say notorious) cabling company sent a cease and desist letter to Blue Jeans Cable over a supposed patent violation. What the Monster folks couldn't have known was that Blue Jeans president Kurt Denke used to be a lawyer. His response is as humorous as it is thorough. ' Let me begin by stating, without equivocation, that I have no interest whatsoever in infringing upon any intellectual property belonging to Monster Cable. Indeed, the less my customers think my products resemble Monster's, in form or in function, the better ... If there is more than one such connector design in actual use by Monster Cable as to which appropriation of trade dress is alleged, of course, I will require this information for each and every such design. On the basis of what I have seen, both in the USPTO documents you have sent and the actual appearance of Monster Cable connectors which I have observed in use in commerce, it does not appear to me that Monster Cable is in a position to advance a nonfrivolous claim for infringement of these marks.'"

40 of 572 comments (clear)

  1. The word "owned" comes to mind by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I read every word of that rather long article, and all I have to say is "OWNED". Wow. Normally I refer from such Internet slang, but I really believe in my heart that it applies here.

    1. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by 91degrees · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Were Monster cable "owned"?

      They're just going to harass someone else now. They don't really care that much. The basic business plan here is "threaten to sue", "threaten some more", "If target refuses to settle then give up, else settle". They know full well that some people are going to call their bluff. He just happened to do it in a very long winded, wordy way that has saved them a lot of time and effort.

    2. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by masdog · · Score: 5, Insightful

      The long-winded and wordy way, combined with being released on the Internet, will go a long way towards keeping Monster from doing this again. The next company they threaten to sue will likely turn up this letter in a simple Google search, providing that company's legal counsel with a bucket full of ammo.

      I would say Monster's days of running around suing competitors will be drawing to a close soon.

      --
      My Sysadmin Blog
    3. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by evanbd · · Score: 5, Insightful

      My favorite quote:

      Not only am I unintimidated by litigation; I sometimes rather miss it.

      Good to see a little guy who seriously intends to go not only to trial but to final judgement against a big patent bully. They definitely picked the wrong person to pick on.

    4. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by JordanL · · Score: 5, Interesting

      My favorite part is where he obliquely mentions that if they do take him to court and try to bleed him dry he'll kindly foward along their sham company tax shelter methods to the IRS that they use to avoid paying income tax on their Intellectual Property. That's gotta scare the hell out of most companies.

      --
      FanFictionRecs.net
    5. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by ComSon0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      That is the most beautiful letter I ever read. It teared my eyes. I am a dude, but I think I love that guy.

    6. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by smittyoneeach · · Score: 5, Funny

      I think you refrain more than you refer, but I refrigerate.

      --
      Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
    7. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by Valdrax · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I also love when he threatens Rule 11 sanctions, demands extensive discovery, and threatens to challenge each and every one of their patents. Oh, and he accuses them of acting in bad faith, without candor.

      But really, you're right -- threatening their tax shelter was a masterstroke.

      --
      If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
    8. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by Workaphobia · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Indeed. I especially liked the transition from the beginning of the letter, where he responded with feigned interest and dozens of requests for more information, to the middle where he gave a detailed technical justification for his design, to the end where he became downright threatening to Monster, and rightly so. Here is a man who knows how to scare off a litigation troll.

      Also, notice how he replied on the last day of the two week period Monster's lawyers gave him. This, combined with the number of requests for clarification he made, demonstrates that he will ensure any actual court proceedings drag on for as long as possible.

      He sure as hell didn't blink.

      --
      Evidently, the key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy.
    9. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by mr_death · · Score: 5, Insightful

      There's no "sham company tax shelter methods" -- just the usual legal method of tranferring income from a high tax juristiction to a lower one. Companies and people do this all the time (e.g., US/Bermuda, California/Nevada) to avoid their biggest and unnecessary expense.

      The threat here is not "you're going to jail", but "we're going to expose you to political ridicule for not passively bending over and paying whatever the government demand."

      If you don't consider this method as a part of your tax planning, you're paying more than you need to. As Judge Learned Hand said, "Anyone may arrange his affairs that his taxes shall be as low as possible; he is not bound to choose that pattern which best pays the Treasury; there is not even a patriotic duty to increase one's taxes. Over and over again courts have said that there is nothing sinister in so arranging affairs as to keep taxes as low as possible, everyone does it, rich and poor alike and all do right; for nobody owes any public duty to pay more than the law demands. Taxes are an enforceable action, not a voluntary contribution."
      Helvering vs Gregory
      60 Fed (2d) 809

      --
      It's Linux, damnit! Pay no attention to renaming attempts by self-aggrandizing blowhards.
    10. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Not only am I unintimidated by litigation; I sometimes rather miss it."

      I about shit my pants I laughed so hard at this.

    11. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by vwjeff · · Score: 5, Informative

      "I assume that Monster Cable International, Ltd., in Bermuda, listed on these patents, is an IP holding company and that Monster Cable's principal US entity pays licensing fees to the Bermuda corporation in order to shift income out of the United States and thereby avoid paying United States federal income tax on those portions of its income;..."

      Wonderful. Monster Cable hates America!!!!

    12. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by jedidiah · · Score: 5, Informative

      When considering Tax issues, just keep in mind this little nugget of trivia...

      Tax law is the only area of the law where a lawyer is expected to obtain
      a speciality post doctorate degree (that is another advanced degree above
      and beyond the usual JD) just so that you can be considered qualified to
      START practicing in it.

      --
      A Pirate and a Puritan look the same on a balance sheet.
    13. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I only see one questionable use of the semi-colon in the quoted text: the first occurrence. The first use is (arguably) better-suited to be replaced by a colon, but the use of the semi-colon will suffice. Every other use of of the semi-colon is unarguably legitimate. Its use is to reduce ambiguity that would arise, had the writer rather used commas, due to the presence of commas within the components of the series he is enumerating.

      Fucker.

    14. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by meringuoid · · Score: 5, Funny
      The whole letter is a lawyers way to tell them to go *** themselves.

      Actually, there's a much shorter lawyers' way to tell somebody to do that.

      "We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram."

      --
      Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
    15. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by Achromatic1978 · · Score: 5, Informative
      You missed his point - indeed, it took me a while to realize. There is nothing wrong with it, it is legal if it meets the definition of a bona fide arms-length setup.

      But, but it wasn't Monster Cable International, Ltd, that issued him with the letter and claim. It was Monster in the US, so keen to litigate that they did something they had no onus to do ("on behalf of") - they completely forgot that their corporate shell game had given the patents to a company in Bermuda, and that they had no right to claim patent infringement when they weren't the patent owners.

      More clear now?

      "That, that's not ours! We don't have to pay tax on it! Oh, wait, you're using this thing of ... uh ... not ours ... and we ... uh ... they ... can't have that!"

    16. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by ChaoticLimbs · · Score: 5, Insightful

      No, you see, if they abandon their effort, Tartan can still pursue them for improper business practices, vexatious litigation and antitrust violations. It's beautiful. If they pursue it, they risk damaging future cases, and if they drop it, it becomes apparent that they merely intended to put out meritless claims, hoping that others would settle. Doing that would be a clearly improper practice, and they can be placed under injunctions to prevent them from doing it to others. It's LOSE/LOSE for Monster.

    17. Re:The word "owned" comes to mind by Anomolous+Cowturd · · Score: 5, Funny

      Then take him to English court; if you dare, Bitch.

      --
      Software patents delenda est.
  2. Monster cable has been taking advantage... by Futurepower(R) · · Score: 5, Informative

    In my opinion, Monster cable has been taking advantage of the lack of technical knowledge of the general public to convince people to buy EXTREMELY expensive cables, when much cheaper cables would provide equal performance.

    Performance of audio systems is not heavily affected by cables, if only the size of the wires is adequate.

    1. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by CRCulver · · Score: 5, Informative

      They might have had some (quickly rebutted) case in the analogue era, but with the digital era they are just outright cheating customers. You can get an HDMI cable for as low as 15 cents, but Monster continues to charge up towards $100 for theirs. Obviously with digital any cable is as good as another, because the system has error correction built into it and is not susceptible to distortion from nearby wiring.

      Still, on Usenet I've seen people who, probably because they already "invested" thousands of dollars in Monster Cables, placed so much trust in the company that they brought out arcane arguments that, yes, Monster digital interconnects are better than anything else on the market. After all, can't you hear how "brighter" and "warmer" the sound is once you've blown money on the interconnects?

    2. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by Ariastis · · Score: 5, Informative

      No, they did it with a coat hanger (At the consumerist)

    3. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by Alpha830RulZ · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Several times, and the physics of why Monster cables do nothing that plain wire can't do is well understood. Bulk 12 gauge multi strand copper is all you need for the highest end gear, and most people won't be able to tell the difference between that and lamp cord without an oscilloscope.

      --
      I was taught to respect my elders. The trouble is, it's getting harder and harder to find some.
    4. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by hudsonhawk · · Score: 5, Informative

      No, the Consumerist did no such thing. If you read the article, all the Consumerist did, in fact, was quote a 4 year old post by a random dude on an internet forum.

      That's hardly what I would call a reliable source of information, and yet people continue to perpetuate the mean as truth because it appeals to their pre-existing notions.

    5. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by elrous0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You mean that Monster Cables running to Bose speakers WON'T make me cool?

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    6. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by gnick · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...most people won't be able to tell the difference between that and lamp cord without an oscilloscope. Actually, outside slashdot, most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference even with an oscilloscope. They'd just look at it and ask, "WTF is this thing and why is it in my living room?"
      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
    7. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by moexu · · Score: 5, Funny

      You mean that Monster Cables running to Bose speakers WON'T make me cool? I'm pretty sure the proper term for that is douchebag.
      --
      "Seek first to understand." - Socrates
    8. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by webrunner · · Score: 5, Funny

      How ironic is it, that a company known for it's cables really only does good work in wireless?

      --
      ADVENTURERS! - ANTIHERO FOR HIRE - CARDMASTER CONFLICT
    9. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      ACTUALLY, outside of slashdot most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a lamp cord and oscilloscope...

    10. Re:Monster cable has been taking advantage... by QuantumRiff · · Score: 5, Funny

      You obviously don't understand digital. Digital is all ones and zero's. If you have a kink in the cable, because it is made cheaply, then the 0's, being as they are round, can slip around the kink's, but the 1's, having sharp edges, pile up.

      --

      What are we going to do tonight Brain?
  3. Re:Once again... by iamhigh · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Then submit it to /. sooner.

    Plus, since when is slashdot in competition with them? If I want to read stupid stories (surprised all the legal talk didn't scare the farkoids) and even worse comments, I will go to fark/reddit/digg. I come to /. to hear halfway intellectual commentary on current issues.

    --
    No comprende? Let me type that a little slower for you...
  4. From TFA by madjalapeno · · Score: 5, Funny

    The best line of the reply has to be "Not only am I unintimidated by litigation; I sometimes rather miss it."

    1. Re:From TFA by everphilski · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I love what he's doing but I said "damn, damn, damn" when he went on and on about about his experiences as a lawyer. Something tells me that might be the difference between Monster pursuing and not pursuing this case. Had he not laid all his cards out on the table, he might have got the fight he was looking for, and showed Monster they can't bully everyone around. Part of me is afraid that won't happen now.

      But either way, I'm glad he's sticking up for himself, and not just himself but making it public. Others will catch on, I hope, and be able to use similar arguments and techniques to evaluate settling versus taking a stand.

  5. Summary... by binaryspiral · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dear Monster Lawyers,

    The mention of similarity between my company and yours makes me throwup in my mouth a little. Your threats are empty and vague. You provided no details to your patent hissyfit.

    If you're actually attempting to prove you own a patent on the RCA connector, then fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

    Sincerely,
    Kurt Denke

  6. A shorter answer by Hognoxious · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I refer my learnèd friend to the case of Arkell v Pressdram.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  7. The world needs more Kurt Denkes by TheHappyMailAdmin · · Score: 5, Insightful

    And we need them in a serious way. People who know their stuff, know what the legal system is supposed to be used for, and stand up for themselves in a positive way.

    I hope we see more small companies and individuals do this in the future.

  8. Amen, brother, Amen by A+nonymous+Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    When digg first came out, I thought it an incredible improvement on /. as far as getting timely stories, if they would only get nested comments. But then the fanboys hit, duplications made /. look as staid and conservative as the New York Times, and I gave up on digg. Far too much noise for far too little signal.

    And since then, /. has improved immensely. No doubt the competition helped, but I care not where the incentive came from, only that /. gets better and better.

    --
    Infuriate left and right
  9. Re:Monster Cable versus wire coat hangers by hudsonhawk · · Score: 5, Informative

    Did you in fact read the article you're posting?

    The Consumerist did no such comparison. Rather, a reader sent them a 4 year old post from a random dude on another forum, which the Consumerist quoted and posted, turning it into a popular Slashdot meme.

    Groupthink at work, gotta love it. The burden of proof is always non-existent when it backs up your pre-existing notions of truth.

  10. Quality matters for some high-speed cables. by Animats · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Amusingly, for many years Monster stayed away from the types of cables where quality matters, like VGA cables. VGA cables have a high-bandwidth analog signal, and long (10m or so) VGA cables have transmission-line type problems, where mismatches or crosstalk result in ghosting or blur at the monitor. For short tables, it's not a big deal, but as length increases, it matters. There are lots of crap VGA cables out there. Still, above $15 for 10m, you're overpaying.

    HDMI cables have to carry 340MHz, so they're transmission lines. There's a certification process, and if the cable passed it, it should be OK. There are phony HDMI cables out there that don't pass the spec, but all certified cables should work equally well.

    There's something to be said for gold-plated connectors, especially for something that's frequently unplugged, but the cost of the gold is trivial.

  11. Looking for a job? by sherpajohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Monster is hiring a paralegal - bet you would be kept busy! https://jobs-monstercable.icims.com/monstercable_jobs/jobs/candidate/job.jsp?jobid=1503&mode=view

    --

    Going on means going far
    Going far means returning
  12. Re:Wow by edremy · · Score: 5, Interesting
    I used to hate all lawyers all the time, then I ran into a mortgage company that tried to screw me out of my house two days before settlement. I spoke with a lawyer for a bit, got some exact words to tell them along with some very specific legal threats, then called the company back.

    The 5 seconds of silence on the other end of the line before the "Uuuh, I think I need to talk to my supervisor" was classic. Took them only a few more minutes before all those horrible problems with my mortgage just vanished.

    Since then I've been a lot more accepting of lawyers- calling down the legal napalm on those assholes was one of the most fun things I've ever done.

    --
    "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!"