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Jack Thompson's Letter To Take-Two Exec's Mother

debatem1 writes "Apparently, anti-violent-video-games crusader Jack Thompson is at it again, this time writing a letter to the mother of Strauss Zelnick, Chairman of Take-Two, the company that produces the GTA series of video games. In it he compares Zelnick to a member of the Hitler Youth, advocates beating the young Zelnick, and contemplates the existence of a Ted Bundy merit badge for boy scouts."

33 of 351 comments (clear)

  1. Like herpes by mikesd81 · · Score: 5, Funny

    He's like herpes. The symptoms go away, but it really never goes away.

    --
    That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable.
    1. Re:Like herpes by ColdWetDog · · Score: 5, Funny
      If I were Zelenik, the next iteration of GTA would have a character that looked exactly like Jack Thompson that a little old lady blows away with an Uzi.

      Just a thought.

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
    2. Re:Like herpes by mikesd81 · · Score: 5, Funny
      --
      That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable.
    3. Re:Like herpes by eebra82 · · Score: 4, Funny

      He would also make an excellent GTA hooker since you'd most definitely feel obliged to blow his brains out after the session, thus getting the $5 back.

    4. Re:Like herpes by ScrewMaster · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'd say he's more like syphilis: if you don't get your JT infection treated it will eventually turn your brain into Jell-O.

      --
      The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
    5. Re:Like herpes by neight108 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, in GTA IV, you kill a lawyer and right before he dies he says, "Guns don't kill people. Video games do."

    6. Re:Like herpes by amirulbahr · · Score: 5, Funny

      Miami attorney Jack Thompson, however, claims that heâ(TM)s depicted in the game and wants out.

      You mean it is not the Aussie actor Jack Thompson?? This whole time I swear I thought it was the actor. All these fucking years I just assumed it was the same Jack Thompson until I actually for once in my life RTFA. All the jokes about the Aussie actor and I still didn't get it, I though it was him.

      Let that be a lesson to all you kids out there: RTFA!

    7. Re:Like herpes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      you have offended the makers of Jell-O by saying that Jell-O is the end result of a Jack Thompson infection. Please retract your statement imediately or face a lawsuit

    8. Re:Like herpes by JanneM · · Score: 4, Funny

      Thomson is an animatronic Jack Chick tract.

      --
      Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
    9. Re:Like herpes by RobBebop · · Score: 4, Funny

      My understanding is that the GTA video makes a reference to a "lawyer who dislikes violent games" and Thompson thinks it is obviously a parody of him.

      FIRST -- parody's are not slanderous, particularly when they are true to the real life version.

      SECOND -- GTA gets heat from many researchers and lawyers who have much better reputations then Thompson, so it is naive of him to think they would single out him for the joke.

      THIRD -- It is funny, laugh. Geez... show me a guy who can't laugh at a joke about himself and I will show you a guy who'll never be the life of ANY party.

      --
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  2. I hope by Idiot+with+a+gun · · Score: 3, Funny

    Strauss Zelnick presses charges against Jack Thompson, claiming this was a threat. Mostly because it would entertain me.

  3. Let me be the one to say by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Behave yourself or I'll tell your mom on you!

    1. Re:Let me be the one to say by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      According to Wikipedia, some of the stuff he was doing in florida resulted in him being ordered to have his sanity officially evaluated. He was found to be sane.

  4. Oblig moral question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    If you had the power to go back in time and beat Strauss Zelnick in front of his mother, would you?

    1. Re:Oblig moral question by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 3, Funny

      If you had the power to go back in time and beat Strauss Zelnick in front of his mother, would you?

      Is that the only reason I can go back in time? Can I take a few periodicals and mail them to myself? Because if answer to both questions is "yes" I would definately do that. I could always buy him France later to make it up to him.

      --
      Your ad here. Ask me how!
  5. Bully 2 by wiredlogic · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think for Bully 2 they need to have a hot coffee mode where a young Zelnick beats up on a young JT. That would be sweet justice.

    --
    I am becoming gerund, destroyer of verbs.
  6. Free will and GTA by viking80 · · Score: 3, Funny

    In GTA, you have free will. You can stay at home, go to work, maybe as a taxi driver?, drive to church on sundays, and never hurt anyone. That Jack Thompson becomes a criminal thug with disregard for the law and life, shows more about him than the game.

    --
    don't cut it off www.mgmbill.org
  7. Re:Glory Hole by couchslug · · Score: 3, Funny

    I find him useful.
    Jack personifies the sort of person who objects to video games in the way that Fred Phelps personifies hardcore Christianity.

    We need people like them to remind us of what people who want to micromanage our personal behaviors are really like.

    --
    "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
  8. Letter to Barbara Bush by copponex · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dear Mrs. Bush:

    Your son, as you may know (or maybe you don't know), is the President of the United States, whose most popular foreign policy adventures are killing hundreds of thousand of people. Though they are a different color, I do believe they are still people.

    Your son last week was reported to have said the following about Iran: "A nuclear Iran must not be allowed."

    Taking your son's thought, I would encourage you either to join the Marines, or encourage all of your grand-children to join up, especially Jenna and little Barbara.

    What you will see in the next war, if this iteration of war is anything like its predecessors, is incredible interactive violence aimed at everyone (whom you can shoot in the head and see the blood spray), innocent bystanders (whom you can run over with your Humvee or tank just for the heck of it), and of course the plentiful indigenous female prostitutes you can have sex with and then filet with a knife or stomp with your feet in order to get your money back. Experts note that the recent plethora of killings is caused in whole by your darling son's Administration and philosophical flunkies. There are four thousand dead soldiers in Iraq, and perhaps almost a million dead civilians. No, really - it was on 60 Minutes. I hope Bush has provided you with a flat screen TV to see the grief of the bereaved families that fills the screen. I mean, if reporters were allowed to say such things.

    The violence that your son trafficks in is the kind of stuff that most mothers would be ashamed to see their son putting into the hands of other mothers' children, but, hey, your son Bush has recently assured the world that he is "a Boy Scout, everybody knows that." I'd love to see the merit badges that Scout Troop handed out. Is there a Colonialism merit badge? If so, your loving son deserves one now.

    There's hundreds of thousands of mothers you would do well to talk to. They have a grief they carry every day that only a mother can know. There are other such mothers in the heartland of Iran whose inhabitants your son simply sees as commercial targets.

    Your son, this very moment, is doing everything he possibly can to sell the new Iran war, to "defend" a country in which your son claims you raised him to be "a Boy Scout." More like the Hitler Youth, I would say.

    Happy Mother's day, Mrs. Bush, which this year is May 11, and who knows how soon until your son or his predecessor unleash actual death and violence upon other mothers' boys. I'm sure you're very proud.

  9. Re:Jack's utter lack of a sense of irony by cp.tar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wasn't the Hitler Youth basically just pre-war Germany's version of the Boy Scouts anyway? Pretty much every kid was in the Hitler Youth.

    ... including, apparently, the Pope.

    Go figure.

    --
    Ignore this signature. By order.
  10. I don't see what all the fuss is about by __aailob1448 · · Score: 4, Funny

    He sent a letter to the mother telling her that her son's game got perfect reviews. I stopped reading the article after that but I can only assume the remainder of the letter were Thompson's heartfelt congratulations and good wishes.

    Sheesh, can't Jack Thompson do nice things every once in a while?

  11. Re:Stop submitting Jack Thompson stories. by urcreepyneighbor · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why? It's fun documenting the downfall of a deranged sociopath!

    --
    "The fight for freedom has only just begun." - Geert Wilders
  12. Re:Oh Boy. by cduffy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yup -- isn't it great?

    I really don't see what your point is. We know this is true, and we still have plenty of fun doing it.

  13. Re:call jacks kids/family by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    My lord! Are you saying that Jack Thompson has had sex? With a woman? And has reproduced?

    Gah, I don't believe it.

  14. Re:call jacks kids/family by falsified · · Score: 4, Funny

    Me either. Jack Thompson grew from spores, and so would any of his offspring.

    --
    HI, MY NAME IS ISAAC.
  15. Re:Stop submitting Jack Thompson stories. by Opportunist · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why? Imagine the guy dies and we won't know when to start playing "Ding Dong the witch is dead".

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  16. Re:Jack's utter lack of a sense of irony by sqrt(2) · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...first blowjob at a [boy]scout camp. Wait a minute, there's something wrong with this story; slashdotters don't have sex!
    --
    If you build it, nerds will come. Soylentnews.org
  17. Re:Jack's utter lack of a sense of irony by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    slashdotters don't have sex! No no no... They don't have sex with girls.
  18. Re:Jack's utter lack of a sense of irony by BorgCopyeditor · · Score: 5, Funny

    In light of the dangers you identify, thank goodness there's a straight-talking maverick like John McCain around. He's the only thing standing between us and a thuggish, militant Democratic youth movement replacing America's culture with its own authoritarian vision.

    --
    Shop as usual. And avoid panic buying.
  19. Re:Jack's utter lack of a sense of irony by thePowerOfGrayskull · · Score: 2, Funny

    slashdotters don't have sex! No no no... They don't have sex with girls. What a minute... who you callin' 'they'? You're here too...
  20. Re:Have you no shame, Jack Thompson? by sjames · · Score: 5, Funny

    Jack should learn alternative ways to work out his agressive impulses without hurting others. Perhaps video games could help? There's nothing like a violent video game to get that sort of thing out of your system.

  21. Re:call jacks kids/family by AhtirTano · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah, but his offspring isn't fertile.

  22. Re:I say contact the ADL by Foobar+of+Borg · · Score: 3, Funny

    Last I checked, Hitler never played Grand Theft Auto or listened to Marilyn Manson.
    Yes. Instead, he listened to Wagner, was a vegetarian, a non-smoker, and a teetotaler. You could say that mass murder and warmongering were his only real vices.