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Groundbreaking Solar Mission Faces Chilly Death

Posted by timothy on from the hardly-knew-ye dept.

iamlucky13 writes "Over 17 years ago, the Ulysses spacecraft was launched aboard the space shuttle Discovery for a unique NASA/ESA mission. While nearly all other probes travel along our solar system's ecliptic plane, Ulysses used a Jupiter gravity assist to swing 80 degrees out of plane, carrying it over the sun's poles for an unprecedented view. During a mission that lasted four times longer than planned, it has flown through the tails of several comets, helped pinpoint distant gamma-ray bursts, and provided data on the sun and its heliosphere from the better part of two solar cycles. Unfortunately, the natural reduction of power from its radioisotope thermal generator means it is now unable to even keep its attitude control fuel from freezing, and NASA has decided to formally conclude the mission on July 1."

20 of 134 comments (clear)

  1. I need better by oldhack · · Score: 2, Funny

    attitude control.

    --
    Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
    1. Re:I need better by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Troll or not, that was a gripping narrative.

  2. solar power? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They should have put solar panels on it.

    1. Re:solar power? by inamorty · · Score: 5, Funny
      No man, it's an attitude problem.

      it is now unable to even keep its attitude control fuel from freezing Instead of chilling out, it should apply itself more.
  3. So long Energizer Bunny by dreamchaser · · Score: 5, Funny

    those Mars rovers that just keep going and going

    I am waiting for Energizer to ditch that obnoxious rabbit and license the Mars Rovers for their advertising.

    1. Re:So long Energizer Bunny by ckaminski · · Score: 4, Funny

      If you noticed, the rabbit's pink. The whole marketing program is a mind-numbingly awesome appeal to women to use Energizer batteries to power their vibrators.

    2. Re:So long Energizer Bunny by jc42 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hmm ... I can see the ad slogan: It keeps going and going, so you'll keep coming and coming.

      Maybe I oughta copyright the slogan before they try to use it (if they haven't already).

      --
      Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
  4. Re:Refreshing summertime treat... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Cry me an icy river

  5. Am I the only one that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...gets a little choked up thinking about that poor abandoned craft out there floating to oblivion with no one to talk to it.

    Ok, back to masculinity-land...

  6. The Real Ulysses by gihan_ripper · · Score: 5, Funny

    As the Greek Geeks will know, the real (legendary) Ulysses (aka Odysseus) went on a ten-year odyssey returning home after the Trojan war. All assumed that Ulysses had died and his former wife was preyed upon by suitors seeking her hand in marriage.

    To cut a long story short, Ulysses killed all the suitors when he got home and was especially cruel to a turncoat goatherd, Melanthius. Ulysses cut off his nose and ears, pulled out his genitals for dog food, then sliced off his hands and feet.

    Let's home the satellite doesn't come back and find us messing about with the ISS.

    --
    Phoenix, Boston, Little Rock, see a pattern?
    1. Re:The Real Ulysses by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 5, Funny

      So, Ulysses was a neocon, eh?

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
  7. Bad Boy Probe by timbudtwo · · Score: 0, Funny

    They must be retiring it because of its serious attitude problem. It is a teenager after all.

  8. Re:Not really as bad as the blurb sounds by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Come to google it, it's even lasted longer than those Mars rovers fixed.
  9. Control moment gyros by heroine · · Score: 2, Funny

    Control moment gyros would have failed after 1 year & needed 17 servicing missions + 1 protest on capitol hill. U can't beat rocket fuel.

  10. Re:It can't die, it wasn't alive by oldhack · · Score: 3, Funny

    Shut up you ricebowl.

    --
    Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
  11. Re:I'd send it into the sun for one last splash by gihan_ripper · · Score: 4, Funny

    which will no doubt baffle our ancestors.
    so that would be our time-travelling ancestors?
    --
    Phoenix, Boston, Little Rock, see a pattern?
  12. Don't know how to mod this by Fross · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's either very informed indeed, or complete rubbish. I mean, "heterojunctiontions"?

    Well done, I'm completely stumped.

    1. Re:Don't know how to mod this by Sapphon · · Score: 2, Funny

      And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the difference between 5-digit and 3-digit UID Slashdotters: the latter considers "heterojunction ions" to be a perfectly self-explantory term.

      That the OP has 6-digit UID is probably just a trick: I'm betting it's the secondary account of a 2-digit user used to catch out 4- and 5-digit newbies.

      It's sort of like what Twitter does, but, you know.. with facts.

      --
      Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
  13. Sweet Lord, Star Trek Writers by patio11 · · Score: 4, Funny

    >>
    dopant migration in the semiconductor heterojunctiontions
    >>

    Hire this guy. Now. He makes your "tachyon pulses" look like the deranged ramblings of a man-child.

    --
    Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
  14. Schoolhouse Rock by Nirvelli · · Score: 2, Funny

    Conjunction junction, what's your function?