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Ray Gun Puts Voices Inside Your Head
Sportsqs writes "The Sierra Nevada Corporation claimed this week that it is ready to begin production on the MEDUSA, a damned scary ray gun that uses the 'microwave audio effect' to implant sounds and perhaps even specific messages inside people's heads."
There you guys sit, all laughing at me at pointing and jeering at my Tinfoil Hat 3000(tm), but look who's sitting pretty now! Ha! Fsckers!
My blog
...I've had the voice of Reagan inside my head.
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
I wonder how many Pale Ales you have to drink to get the same effect.
Of course a tinfoil hat will be no defence since your head will burst into flames.
.. the fact it wouldn't affect people who already hear voices.
The disappearing pencil trick. Let me show you it.
There you guys sit, all laughing at me at pointing and jeering at my Tinfoil Hat 3000(tm), but look who's sitting pretty now! Ha! Fsckers!
You won't be sitting pretty when you shiny new hat starts to spark and arc like a fork in the microwave!
There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
technology as the /. article a few months ago? I seem to remember a govt prototype or some such device that was trying to do the same thing. In any case, I hope this spurs the development of professionally made tin foil hats. The crude home-made variety aren't going to cut it anymore.
Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
It's like curing Schizophrenia the backwards way!
"I only speak the truth"
Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
Are they working out of Black Mesa?
When the axe came to the forest, the trees said, "Look out - the handle was once one of us."
I was going to make fun of you, but then my new friend Roger told me not to.
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
In my day they only had ads on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and ball games and on buses and milk cartons and written in the sky. But not in dreams, no-siree!
http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/
Conclusion
The helmets amplify frequency bands that coincide with those allocated to the US government between 1.2 Ghz and 1.4 Ghz. According to the FCC, These bands are supposedly reserved for ''radio location'' (ie, GPS), and other communications with satellites (see, for example, [3]). The 2.6 Ghz band coincides with mobile phone technology. Though not affiliated by government, these bands are at the hands of multinational corporations.
It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.
Ha Ha!
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
Look at me, I can't even post under my username anymore.
Microwave audio effect? That explains why I keep hearing "90% power... white rice... sensor cook" over and over again.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
Toot with this i can now insert the message "Sleep with me" in the heads of attractive women everywhere!!!
Denise Richards & the olsen twins here I come..
Of course, that's the REAL purpose of this weapon - something to use against all the tinfoil hats out there!
+1 IDisagreeSoHeMustBeATrollOrAnAstroturferOrAShill
Buy Lightspeed Briefs!
I am officially gone from
Somethings telling me to "Move along, there's nothing to see here".
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Ahhh! You sound just like Jake!
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
"...These are not the droids we're looking for."
You weak minded fool! He's got a Jedi mind gun!"
"sure I'll hear that demo. . ."
"Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do i
A full commitments what Im thinking of
You wouldnt get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
Gotta make you understand
never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"
"AHHH make it stop!!!!!"
Fry: So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?
Leela: Of course.
Fry: But how is that possible?
Professor Farnsworth: It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg. [Holds up an egg and injects it with liquid from a syringe until the egg explodes.]
Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.
Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games... and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams, no siree.
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
1) Subliminal messages don't work. It's a sham that a psychologist made with fake data,,,
That's right! It's nothing but a load of rich creamery butter!
The CB App. What's your 20?
OK, I can deal with the fact that the Tinfoil Hat people have been right all along. Fine. I apologize for some of the unkind things I've said about them.
But dammit, I'm NOT going to start being nice to all the Moonbats, People Who Live In Their Parents' Basements, Loons, Head Cases, Half-wits, Technophobes, Technophiles, UFO Abductees, Conspiracy Nuts, Jerks, Berks and Wanna-be Captain Kirks just because, like a broken clock, they might manage to be right twice a day.
I mean it!
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
This explains why I like their beer so much. They're using mind control!
I give you... TinFoil Hat V.2!
This + this = WIN!
N.B. Links are JPEGs.
Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
Brilliant! I hereby nominate you for the position of Head Messiah at the newly founded Ministry of Godly Voices.
Something tells me these are not the droids I'm looking for...
hello
Are we reaching Alternate Universe X-Men territory?
Magneto is now the good guy & Professor X is evil?
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine
Ken! This is Jesus. Stop touching yourself!
Sig Follows: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain
Because audible spam in my head would be even worse than the e-mailed spam in my in-box or the visible spam on billboards (and bus stops, sides of buildings/cars, etc.)
Nah -- the voices already in my head will be able to shout it down...
Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
80,000 ACDC fans screaming "....TNT, I'm Dynamite...." out of tune ..... nothing peaceful about that....
i agree and the wonderful folks at sierra nevada deserve more grant money
i agree and the wonderful folks at sierra nevada deserve more grant money
i agree and the wonderful folks at sierra nevada deserve more grant money
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ECHELON is a government program to find words like bomb, jihad, plutonium, assassinate, and anarchy.
1) Subliminal messages don't work. It's a sham that a psychologist made with fake data that scared the crap out of politicians so that a law was implemented quickly and people fear it to this day (though I still do fear spammers using this, as they have no morals).
Yeah, I can account to this. Back in when I was in a course in psychology we did a blind study and on sublidrinkminal messduffages to influbeerence a taste test. One side we would set it up with out a subliminals being piped in in the music and one with. The resdrinkults were wimorethin 2% of eaduffch other. We beerconcluded that subliminal messages where bullshit.
Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification
A strainer and a 404 Not Found? I guess the gun can't put voices in your head if it can't find your head, but I'm wondering how this could be practically implemented.
Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 20th century? Fry: Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and written in the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!
I'm pretty sure they've been testing this on my ex-wife!
The Voices are strong, they drown out all other sounds.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
But you see, we actually use the TinFoil as a receptor, antenna, and resonator. Your head and brain are just the storage medium.
We can target people without the metal hat's just fine, but we can target people with them faster and at greater distances.
In fact, we have had between an 84.6% and 97.5325333333% success rate with people wearing foil helmets. The success rate depends on the type of metal used in the foil and the weave designs.
In people without metal hats, we found that we get about an 89% success rate on average.
So yes, the metal hat's do prevent us some, but the problem is, with the unsuccessful it is not that the message does not get through, it is that death is a side effect and thus is defined as a failure during our tests.
We tested over 10 million diverse humans, and found that the only people to survive with 100% success rate were those that were born with both sets of sexual organs. But we consider them useless statistics anyway since they are unable to reproduce.
Another interesting side effect is we have the ability to also define genetic memories of the voices. That way every spawn from the target is also a victim.
We thank you for reading the FAQ of BrainTrain International Corp.
So we'll change "Don't tase me Bro" to "Don't Microwave my head bro?" -- Not sure I like the ring to that.
-- All this knowledge is giving me a raging brainer.
And here is the real reason subliminal messages are not used. While in fact you feel the need to drink duff beer right now. because of a mistimed cadence within the GP that same beer will now taste alot like cow manure.
just what we need - advertising with no volume control, :-P
and no way to turn it off.
Actually, nobody's laughing at you. That's just me with my ray gun putting laughing voices in your head.
wearable Faraday cages are the new fashion statement.
---
"I can't complain, but sometimes still do..." Joe Walsh
4. Telling Westboro Baptist Church members that God doesn't hate fags, She hate _them_.
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
At long last slashdotters will actually have a chance (albeit small) of getting laid by using this device. Just aim it at a hot chick, put suggestions in her head, and go for it. Of course, you'll still have to be able to perform with a live human female.
I always have used Sierra Nevada to REMOVE the voices in my head. Better yet, it comes in different styles, and the headache and confusion are time-delayed in their version of the product by at least 8 hours.
Increasing the dosage slightly makes you impervious to the voices OUTSIDE your head as well. Comes in handy when others want to "abort the mission".
Amazingly, increasing your dosage even more actually renders you completely INVISIBLE. Might be a slight shimmer like predator, because others with Sierra Nevada Invisiblility can still occasionally find you, especially if you owe them money.
Unfortunately, when you try to bring any of your newfound powers near a car or other vehicle, motorized or not, dangerous wormholes can be created, warping you right into nearby objects with startling unpredictablility. DO NOT ATTEMPT. That whole "great power, great responsibility" thing.
I wonder what a Military-Grade/Weaponized version of the holiday Celebration Ale would do....
Damn you - I won't be able to get those bloody Vikings out of my mind for days now!
One swallow does not a fellatrix make