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One of the Coolest Places In the Universe

Posted by timothy on from the you'll-need-thicker-gloves dept.

phantomflanflinger writes "The Cern Laboratory, home of the Large Hadron Collider, is fast becoming one of the coolest places in the Universe. According to news.bbc.co.uk, the Large Hadron Collider is entering the final stages of being lowered to a temperature of 1.9 Kelvin (-271C; -456F) — colder than deep space. The LHC aims to re-create the conditions just after the Big Bang and continue the search for the Higgs boson."

43 of 338 comments (clear)

  1. Higgs Bussom? by Exanon · · Score: 5, Funny

    We built the LHC to look for tits?

    1. Re:Higgs Bussom? by katterjohn · · Score: 5, Funny

      I can't think of a better reason for it.

    2. Re:Higgs Bussom? by Max+Littlemore · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hey, the title does say it's one of the coolest places in the universe.

      --
      I don't therefore I'm not.
    3. Re:Higgs Bussom? by Carewolf · · Score: 5, Funny

      We built the LHC to look for tits?

      What do you think a large hardon collider is for?

    4. Re:Higgs Bussom? by Duncan+Blackthorne · · Score: 5, Funny

      The ever-elusive Higgs Bosom can't be directly observed (because it's like staring into the sun) therefore it must be indirectly observed -- in this case, by lowering the ambient temperature in the observational environment and watching for the most common secondary sign of it's presence, a phenomenon which researchers have fondly nicknamed the "sweater-puppy effect".

    5. Re:Higgs Bussom? by s74ng3r · · Score: 1, Funny

      If you prefer tits for your hardon collider, be my guest.

    6. Re:Higgs Bussom? by auric_dude · · Score: 2, Funny

      According to D Adams Milliway's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vogsphere#Milliway.27s is any time way, way cooler.

    7. Re:Higgs Bussom? by stonertom · · Score: 2, Funny

      Kinda like tits - too dangerous to look at directly, gotta glance sneakily

      --
      Shameless plugs and inaccessible site design FTW! - www.mistletoestreetmusic.com
    8. Re:Higgs Bussom? by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 4, Funny

      We don't wonder. We know why!

      --
      Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
  2. Dark Knight sequel? by SpeedyDX · · Score: 4, Funny

    Trying to discover a hypothetical elementary particle, or trying to create Batman's next villain?!

  3. They're still searching? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Have they checked behind the couch?

  4. Warning! by Slur · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tongue contact with cold collider parts can result in serious injury.

    --
    -- thinkyhead software and media
    1. Re:Warning! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Do not lick collider with remaining tongue.

    2. Re:Warning! by Born2bwire · · Score: 4, Funny

      Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Large Hadron Collider.

      Caution: The Large Hadron Collider may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

      The Large Hadron Collider contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

      Do not use the Large Hadron Collider on concrete.

      Discontinue use of the Large Hadron Collider if any of the following occurs:

              * itching
              * vertigo
              * dizziness
              * tingling in extremities
              * loss of balance or coordination
              * slurred speech
              * temporary blindness
              * profuse sweating
              * or heart palpitations.

      If the Large Hadron Collider begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

      The Large Hadron Collider may stick to certain types of skin.

      When not in use, the Large Hadron Collider should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of the Large Hadron Collider, the scientific community, and its parent company, the military-industrial complex, of any and all liability.

      Ingredients of the Large Hadron Collider include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

      The Large Hadron Collider has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

      Do not taunt the Large Hadron Collider.

      The Large Hadron Collider comes with a lifetime warranty.

  5. Ah now I see... by seeker_1us · · Score: 4, Funny

    When they create a black hole and destroy the earth, they can say "but it was such a cool experiment..."

    1. Re:Ah now I see... by Thanshin · · Score: 4, Funny

      When they create a black hole and destroy the earth, they can say "but it was such a cool experiment..."

      Actually, they can't.

      Unless they synchronize the destruction with a space tourism trip.

      ...

      Everybody! Start checking for suspicious space flights!

    2. Re:Ah now I see... by seeker_1us · · Score: 4, Funny

      Actually, they can't.

      Unless they synchronize the destruction with a space tourism trip.

      ...

      Everybody! Start checking for suspicious space flights!

      I heard every single one of the bastards has a towel and an electronic thumb all prepared.

    3. Re:Ah now I see... by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well it would effectively put an end to the vast majority of our problems, replacing them with a single massive problem.

    4. Re:Ah now I see... by Stooshie · · Score: 4, Funny

      ... Is that a black hole in you pocket ...

      ... or are you just phased to see me!

      Har-de-har-har!

      I mod myself down for that one.

      --
      America, Home of the Brave. ... .and the Squaw.
    5. Re:Ah now I see... by marcosdumay · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hey, that is a nice way to get atractive.

      --
      Rethinking email
  6. Bring it on by charlesbakerharris · · Score: 5, Funny

    The LHC has nothing on my mom's basement. RIGHT HERE is where it's at, baby. Cool Central.

  7. Re:Can someone code up a clock? by Provocateur · · Score: 3, Funny

    And don't forget to include the theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey" Also Sprach Zarathustra

    Also appropriate, Is Zarathustra in your pocket or are you just happy to see the LHC going online?

    Also appropriate since we might see the birth of another solar system where the LHC used to be.

    --
    WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
  8. Re:!news by LaskoVortex · · Score: 3, Funny

    so what the fuck?

    Sensory overload. I think I melded that story and the previous with the packaging world record...oh wait, there's something happening on my other monitor, can't talk.

    --
    Just callin' it like I see it.
  9. Infinitely Improbable by SlowMovingTarget · · Score: 5, Funny

    The collider is so cool you could keep a side of meat in it for a month. It is so incredibly hip it has trouble seeing over its own pelvis. Hey, you sass that hoopy large hadron collider, there's a frood that really knows where its towel's at.

  10. Higgs Boson? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I would have assumed that something this cool would be used to search for the elusive Fonz Particle.

  11. Re:Can someone code up a clock? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Assuming that the LHC will destroy the Earth, this countdown is also the number of days left to lose your virginity.

  12. When I was growing up by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 3, Funny

    When I was growing up, we had to get by on a few millikelvins, and we were grateful for every last one of them!

    1. Re:When I was growing up by EEDAm · · Score: 4, Funny

      Luxury. Well when I were a lad, our dad used to make 160 of us live in a shoebox in the middle of deep space. Millikelvins?? We *dreamed* of millikelvins....

    2. Re:When I was growing up by nacturation · · Score: 5, Funny

      Luxury. Well when I were a lad, our dad used to make 160 of us live in a shoebox in the middle of deep space. Millikelvins?? We *dreamed* of millikelvins....

      Paradise. Why, when I was growin' up, we were all huddled together inside a higgs boson in the middle of a black hole. Every morning, we'd lick the black hole clean with our tongues, then huddle around the event horizon rubbing our hands together until it went *above* absolute zero.
       

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    3. Re:When I was growing up by Cinnamon+Whirl · · Score: 3, Funny

      Try telling that to physicists these days, though....

  13. Re:Coolest place looking for the hottest bang? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    One of my little sisterâ(TM)s friends told her in serious horror that âoethe scientistsâ were going to destroy the earth with this device.

    Talk about dumb! Doesn't she realize it's not just the Earth, but the entire Universe that is on the line here?!!!

  14. obligatory bash.org quote by naz404 · · Score: 5, Funny

    [Guo_Si] Hey, you know what sucks?
    [TheXPhial] vaccuums
    [Guo_Si] Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
    [TheXPhial] black holes
    [Guo_Si] Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
    [TheXPhial] lava?

    --
    http://www.object404.com
  15. uneconomic by zmollusc · · Score: 4, Funny

    Have you seen the cost of this large hagrid colliding thing? What is the point of wasting all that tax money looking for that higgs boson that, when found, will probably have been stepped on or at least be all dirty. Wouldn't it make more sense just to write the boson off at the next inventory count and just requisition a NEW higgs boson from stores?
    Okay, we need to be more environmentally aware now, and less wasteful of materials but this just confirms what people have told me about these CERN guys; they just take stuff to extremes.

    --
    They whose government reduces their essential liberties for temporary security, receive neither liberty nor security.
  16. Re:I thought.... by Knuckles · · Score: 2, Funny

    Your own quote clearly says it's in both.

    --
    "When I first heard Daydream Nation it quite frankly scared the living shit out of me." -- Matthew Stearns
  17. One of the coolest? by kaos07 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anyone know the coldest place in the universe?

    Please don't say Cheney's heart...

    1. Re:One of the coolest? by amRadioHed · · Score: 3, Funny

      Right, the correct answer is the cold void where Cheney's heart used to be.

      --
      We hope your rules and wisdom choke you / Now we are one in everlasting peace
  18. Re:Can someone code up a clock? by harry666t · · Score: 2, Funny

    Linux + KDE3 + Kicker, there's an applet kalled KDoomsDay (it's KInstallable from apt in Debian and possibly Kubuntu).

  19. Re:I thought.... by aproposofwhat · · Score: 4, Funny

    Could you please point me to the American supersonic jetliner?

    Thought not - and seeing as how it was bits falling of a US plane that caused the disaster that killed off Concorde, you've got nothing to shout about.

    Concorde was an elementally flawed idea - too small and too expensive to develop and run, but I saw the A380 at Farnborough the other day, and that's going to kill Boeing in the next few years, especially if they lose the USAF tanker contract too.

    And 'super-massive supercollider'?

    That's just a drag strip with 2 SUVs loaded with lard-arsed Yanks playing chicken :o)

    --
    One swallow does not a fellatrix make
  20. Re:Another example of useless science journalism by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Sounds like the best way to cool it ... would be to turn off the cooling! :-)

  21. Yeha, it was europeans that discovered american... by cheekyboy · · Score: 2, Funny

    So bow down to your creators :)

    And makers of great beer.

    --
    Liberty freedom are no1, not dicks in suits.
  22. Re:Curious... by mgblst · · Score: 4, Funny

    So, how much resistance is there in a Superconductor? A tiny bit?

  23. Re:Coolest place looking for the hottest bang? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    We've been sending radio waves and satellites out since the 1960s. If the neighbours don't have the manners to RSVP, well then we'll party as loudly as we want.

  24. Re:Can someone code up a clock? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 3, Funny

    Here's a calendar designed to show when the LHC comes online and does its first experiment.

    --

    The enemies of Democracy are