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Knights Templar Sue the Pope

pdragon04 writes "According to The Register, "the Knights Templar are demanding that the Vatican give them back their good name and, possibly, billions in assets into the bargain, 700 years after the order was brutally suppressed by a joint venture between the Pope and the King of France..."." I wonder what a holy grail goes for with 700 years of compound interest.

38 of 675 comments (clear)

  1. statute of limitations? by cptnapalm · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm thinking that 700 years might be a bit past the statute of limitations...

    1. Re:statute of limitations? by pitchpipe · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm thinking that 700 years might be a bit past the statute of limitations...

      NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

      --
      Look where all this talking got us, baby.
  2. DNS hack! by hansraj · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think the traffic to the register is being redirected to the onion!

  3. Re:No legal standing to sue by neokushan · · Score: 5, Funny

    If that succeeds, I'm going to rename myself "satan" and then sue the Vatican to get them to give me back my good name.

    --
    +1 IDisagreeSoHeMustBeATrollOrAnAstroturferOrAShill
  4. Re:No legal standing to sue by tinkertim · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to settle.

  5. What about the native americans? by PC+and+Sony+Fanboy · · Score: 5, Funny

    So, assuming this suceeds ... can the native americans sue europe for defiling their land, and ruining their culture? I mean, if europe hadn't sent over all those rejects, the native americans would rule the (un)known world...

    Or, maybe they could just sue the USA for making them look silly - I mean, those native headdresses don't look silly to people who are native - just everyone else.

    1. Re:What about the native americans? by Ziest · · Score: 5, Funny

      The English deported their religious fanatics to America and their criminals to Australia. I think we, the Americans, got the short end of the stick on that one. I want to sue the English government for dumping their religious nut jobs here. I'm going to admit videos of the 700 club as evidence of this maleficence.

      --
      Another day closer to redwood heaven
    2. Re:What about the native americans? by nsayer · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think we, the Americans, got the short end of the stick on that one.

      I'm not so sure about that. I suspect religion was merely a cover for those secretly desiring improved dental hygiene.

      I want to sue the English government for dumping their religious nut jobs here. I'm going to admit videos of the 700 club as evidence of this maleficence.

      Quakers != Baptists. Different breed of nut job.

    3. Re:What about the native americans? by philspear · · Score: 5, Funny

      Okay I got modded troll I can live with that, but still the Europeans didn't send anyone. By most accounts it looks like a voluntary processes regardless of whether the group was well liked back home.

      This is slashdot. No one was upset with the historical inaccuracy, nor the insulting of americans. The troll moderation was for the insinuation that community colleges were for idiots who don't know history.

    4. Re:What about the native americans? by Kozar_The_Malignant · · Score: 4, Funny

      >The troll moderation was for the insinuation that community colleges were for idiots who don't know history.

      Right. Everyone knows that the idiots aren't going to learn any history in a community college. :-)

      --
      Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.
    5. Re:What about the native americans? by Pharmboy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Georgia also declared independence on January 19, 1861, but that one didn't work out quite so well.

      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
    6. Re:What about the native americans? by Hognoxious · · Score: 4, Funny

      Right. Everyone knows that the idiots aren't going to learn any history in a community college. :-)

      Well said - they'd be teaching it!

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    7. Re:What about the native americans? by IrquiM · · Score: 4, Funny

      Psj... Europe was present more than 500 years before Jamestown!

      Best Regards,
      The Norsemen!

      --
      This is blinging
    8. Re:What about the native americans? by Grandiloquence · · Score: 5, Funny

      After 1718, approximately 60,000 convicts, dubbed "the King's passengers," were sent from England to America. Ninety percent of them stayed in Maryland and Virginia.

      Of course, descendants of those people still live in Maryland and Virginia, but instead of being called "The King's Passengers", they're now known as "The US Government".

    9. Re:What about the native americans? by skuzzlebutt · · Score: 4, Funny

      most of the posters in this are chimps with no education and no spine

      ...as opposed to ad hominem anonymous coward, who is both wise and courageous?

      --
      My debut novel AMITY now available: http://jeremydbrooks.c
  6. I propose a deal. by kahei · · Score: 5, Funny

    They go back and *actually* liberate the Holy Land, and *then* the Pope has to pay them all the golden doubloons in Christendom.

    10% bonus doubloons for finding the True Cross. On second thoughts, 10% bonus for each True Cross found.

    Heck, I'll even chip in a squadron of Turcopoles and some Genoese arbalesters.

    --
    Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.
  7. Its all a coverup! by PC+and+Sony+Fanboy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Liar!! I've seen national treasure 1 AND 2. C'mon, you're just part of the order, trying to keep all of the other rightful heirs from becoming really rich and buying nice cars.

  8. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by kahei · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...and that was rabid Catholic-bashing in post 4, still standing by for Christianity-bashing and something about open source.

    --
    Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.
  9. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by eldavojohn · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...and that was rabid Catholic-bashing in post 4, still standing by for Christianity-bashing and something about open source.

    (see sig)

    --
    My work here is dung.
  10. Re:No legal standing to sue by JustKidding · · Score: 4, Funny

    Indeed, this seems like a rather desperate call for attention. Besides, everybody knows that the Dark Templar are far more powerful.

  11. Re:No legal standing to sue by smittyoneeach · · Score: 4, Funny

    Come back here and I'll bite your leg off!

    --
    Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
  12. Re:No legal standing to sue by lbmouse · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to settle."

    ...for a shrubbery.

  13. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by pitchpipe · · Score: 4, Funny

    [...]still standing by for Christianity-bashing and something about open source.

    YEAH, how come Jesus didn't post the sermon on the mount for all of us to modify and improve upon instead of dictating it like Microsoft would do?

    --
    Look where all this talking got us, baby.
  14. I'm a living Neanderthal by Joce640k · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...and I want to sue the whole of Europe for damages.

    --
    No sig today...
  15. Rightful heir of the Knights Templar by rossdee · · Score: 4, Funny

    How about Sir Roger Moore? He's a Knight, and is famous for playing Simon Templar.

  16. Congratulations! by Reality+Master+201 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Congratulations! You have discovered the secret of Instant +5 Insightful here in our happy community:

    "Blah blah [vapid knee-jerk complaining about vapid knee-jerk complaining and slashdot groupthink] blah blah," followed by a suggestion of patenting it.

  17. Re:Silly by Captain+Sarcastic · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey, I'm all down with the Catholic church coughing up the New World assets as soon as the Islamic world reverts the middle east to the Roman Christian states they were before hand Islamic expansion.

    Let's go further than that! Join the Gondwanaland Reunification Movement!

    --
    Strike while the irony is hot! -- The Freethinker
  18. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by Bearpaw · · Score: 5, Funny

    YEAH, how come Jesus didn't post the sermon on the mount for all of us to modify and improve upon instead of dictating it like Microsoft would do?

    It's pretty obvious that the original source code has been lost, and the current source is a combination of ignorant reverse engineering, clumsy hacks, and viruses.

  19. Re:No legal standing to sue by nitehawk214 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Satan plays for the Penguins.

    --
    I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
  20. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by Fred_A · · Score: 4, Funny

    The middle one is Luke 12:33.

    Would that be AM or PM ?

    --

    May contain traces of nut.
    Made from the freshest electrons.
  21. Everybody knows Freemasons by Phoenix666 · · Score: 4, Funny

    are the true Knights Templar, and that we have hidden the treasures of the world beneath a highly recognizable public building (no, not that one).

    Claims about us secretly directing the destiny of nations and peoples are greatly exaggerated, though. I've been in fifteen years and still only get to oversee Botswana.

    --
    Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
    1. Re:Everybody knows Freemasons by steveo777 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Who controls the British Crown?
      Who keeps the Metric System down?
      We do! We do!
      Who leaves Altantis off the maps?
      Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
      We do! We do!
      Who holds back the electric car?
      Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
      We do! We do!
      Who robs cave fish of their sight?
      Who rigs every Oscar night?
      We do! We do!

      --
      This sig isn't original enough, it's time to come up with something witty...
  22. Re:No legal standing to sue by kalirion · · Score: 4, Funny

    You'll just be censored as "Hercule" then.

  23. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by ColdWetDog · · Score: 4, Funny

    I believe your last two citations are incorrect. The last should be 1 John, and was not uttered by Jesus. The middle one is Luke 12:33.

    Great. Before we had spelling Nazis and Grammar Nazis, now it's Bible Nazis.

    Is nothing sacred?

    --
    Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  24. Re:No legal standing to sue by swilde23 · · Score: 4, Funny

    There should be a "-1 Monty Python and/or Princess Bride" moderation reason...

    --
    There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand this sig, and those that beat up people who do.
  25. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by kalirion · · Score: 5, Funny

    Great. Before we had spelling Nazis and Grammar Nazis, now it's Bible Nazis.

    Is nothing sacred?

    Off hand, I'd say spelling, grammar, and The Bible.

  26. Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy by Hognoxious · · Score: 4, Funny

    Three things: Spelling, grammar, The Bible, and Monty Python quotes.

    I'll come in again.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  27. Re:No legal standing to sue by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 5, Funny