Slashdot Mirror
iPhone Nano To Be Launched By Christmas?
the-s-dog writes writes to mention that while there have been many people wishing on a star for an iPhone nano, it seems that at least one UK news pub is confident that it will happen, and in time for this Christmas no less. Still completely unfounded rumor, but an interesting possibility. "Apple is about to launch a 'nano' version of the hugely successful iPhone. It is expected to be in the shops in time for Christmas. The product will be launched in the UK at up to £150 for pay-as-you-go customers by O2, the mobile phone group owned by Spain's Telefonica. 'This will be a big one,' said an industry source."
I'm going to base my prediction of its success on the comments to this article, since Slashdot mocked both the original iPod and the iPod nano before they went on to become huge sellers and icons of our pop culture.
What will it be, Slashdotters? Do you hate it? If you do, does that mean I should buy more Apple stock?
Not to self: Never let financial market speculators design a phone. Clearly they are retarded in this respect.
No. It will be a tiny, tiny, tiny one. One billionth the size of an iPhone. So small you will need a stylus the width of just a few carbon atoms in order to dial out.*
It is, after all, an iPhone nano.
*But that's ok, you can compensate for the tininess of your stylus by the smugness of owning the latest and greatest Apple offering.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
The new iPhone nano will not include a qwerty keyboard, as the new form factor would not allow it. I'm posting anon for obvious reasons, but as an Apple insider I will inform you that there is "slider" technology -- you see, the new form factor is a closely-guarded secret because it will be the must-have gadget of all Apple fans: it's a butt-plug! Yes, the gadget which all Mac users secretly desire but were afraid to ask for. What did you think they wanted to do? Pick up WOMEN? The female Maccies could simply use their imagination to put the iPlug to good use.
No display, and dials random numbers.
The all new iPod Touch-Myself, comes preloaded with a huge assortment of pornographic wallpaper, and the ringer can only be set to "vibrate." ...I can't wait!
I've never read a post by someone who has just drank the Apple Cool-Aid before.
What it really needs is a bottle opener...
Isn't Zima in screw-top bottles?
"If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
Maybe apple is bringing back rotary dialing. You spin the click wheel on the back and the dial spins on the screen on the front. Hopefully it will make all the clicking sounds that those old phones did.
Apple is also coming out with the iUnicorn 6G and (Now with Horn!) it will be ridable, require no feeding, able to fly, and it will shoot rainbows out of it ass while it cures cancer and AIDS in the onlookers below. Look for the iUnicorn 6G in Apple Stables starting this Christmas for a starting price of 299, 399 with glitter.
If you get one bundled with a Sovietel subscription, Jesus calls YOU!!!
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
How about a dial with numbers 0-9 on it, with small holes next to each number. To input a particular number you would place the included stylus into the corresponding hole, then turn the dial clockwise until it stops. Upon releasing the stylus, the dial will return to its resting position, and your chosen digit will appear on the screen.
iPhone Shuffle: Just drunk dials from your address list. Switch setting to dial in order or random.
iPhone Femto: So small no one but smart people can see it. And you don't have to speak. You just imagine the conversation.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
iPhone one-button: just a button and 15 digit numeric display. You dial it by setting it like you would a digital alarm clock. Just hold the button down while the digits count up, stop when it gets to the number you want to dial. If you miss, you gotta go around again.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
You know, if you gave a rotary phone to an average teenager, they'd be unable to make calls.
"Had an iPhone for a 8 months ... The problem with the keyboard is ... [it] leads me to pressing much harder than I need to, which leads to sore thumbs after more than just a few text messages."
let me get this straight, you claim the problem with the iPhone is that 8 months was insufficient time for you to learn to stop pressing so hard that it causes you physical pain!?
I don't think Apple is to blame for you having less capacity for learning than a pet.
reductio: I have the same problem with silent desktop keyboards. there's no sound to let me know when to stop pressing so by the end of the day I'm just pounding my bloody fists through the table just to hear the click of my shattered bones rattling about.
If you give a Windows Mobile phone to the average 50 year old, they'd be unable to do much of anything. Just saying.
-Taylor
Yeah, but a hip 15 year old couldn't do anything with Windows Mobile, either.
So it was you all along!
Absolutely: it isn't flamebait because if you don't buy the latest phone from Apple, they will actually anally rape you. </sarcasm>
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something" - Plato