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IBM Granted "Paper-or-Plastic?" Patent
theodp writes "On Tuesday, IBM was granted US Patent No. 7,407,089 for storing a preference for paper or plastic grocery bags on customer cards and displaying a picture of said preference after a card is scanned. The invention, Big Blue explains, eliminates the 'unnecessary inconvenience for both the customer and the cashier' that results when 'Paper or Plastic?' must be asked. The patent claims also cover affixing a cute sticker of a paper or plastic bag to a customer card to indicate packaging preferences. So does this pass the 'significant technical content' test, IBM'ers?"
Q: does this pass the 'significant technical content' test?
First the long answer: Nope.
Now the short answer: No.
Man, I'd stock up on the -$1 bags!
Yeah, but we can afford it now that Obama has reduced American oil consumption by enlightening us all to the fact that we should check the air pressure in the tires of our vehicles for maximum efficiency. Screw Chavez, we don't need his oil anymore! We have Obama and his tire pressure gauges! We are saved! :)
Would you like to kill a tree or a turtle?
How we know is more important than what we know.
So you show the cashier a card to show them which card you prefer to show them?
Huh?
How about we also solve the "debit or credit" problem I have to deal with each time I visit the mini-mart?
Let me guess: I'll have to put a "credit" sticker on my credit cards, and a "debit" one on my debit cards.
If only there was a way to store this bit of data electronically, and somehow attach it to the card itself...
for a "cute" scratch and sniff paper-or-plastic sticker? Surely, people would prefer that. Can we also just put the cashiers in the basement with the lights out? It would save on energy costs and cut down on unnecessary communication such as momentary linguistic camaraderie/empathy/kindness between fellow human beings (which is uncalled for). Why force the cashier to speak? Surely, this is not required and only slows down productivity. We could simply have robots move the carts down to the basement (or get Bubbles, he'll need some remedial training, of course). Then dependent on whether the patented "cute" card sticker smell is Strawberries or Bananas the bags will return to ground-level to see the light of day, magically appearing in plastic or paper, the eager consumer smiling in the sunlight and glad to be rid of the burdensome trouble of other human beings. Once again patents to the rescue. *phew* That was a close one.
"unnecessary"? I'll say!
Sincerely,
AC
Would you like to kill a tree or a turtle?
If I can chop down a tree so it lands on a turtle can I have both?
And you can work around IBM's patent by tattooing your preference for paper or plastic on your forehead!
No they'll still have you "A computational device indicating preference". You'll have to pay royalties or forfeit your head.
I take it you do not work in computer security, right?
I'd rather just have turtle soup in a paper cup.
With chives.
How we know is more important than what we know.
I'd like a card that says;
"I do not have a customer 'loyalty' card. No, I do not want a customer 'loyalty' card."
Would save me hours of wasted time in the average year. Can I patent this idea?
Can I have one that says: "No, I do not want a customer 'loyalty' card. I'd love a customer 'loyalty' blowjob though."?
People replying to my sig annoy me. That's why I change it all the time.
Killing the turtle won't make any difference, there's another one right underneath it.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
haha, Budweiser is Belgium beer.
It's also the number one beer sold in the world.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on