LucasArts Embargoes "Clone Wars" Reviews

An anonymous reader writes "George Lucas CGI 'Clone Wars' movie has premiered to reviews ranging from MSNBC's 'Ugly animation and an uninspired storyline drag down the film' to AintItCool's 'I hated the film. HATED IT. REALLY HATED IT.' Critics have noted the animation style, music and slapstick humor had more than a passing similarity to Pixar's Toy Story, and wondered if the introduction of new action figures (sorry, characters) like Baby Jabba Hutt and Jabba the Hutt's Gay Uncle may have taken the franchise a bridge too far. Lucas responding by enforcing an embargo, forcing the reviews to be taken down. While sites like AintItCool.com responded, by then it was just a little too late. Still, the CGI eye candy will make it popular with kids. If the 'Clone Wars' movie can't save the galaxy, can it at least save the franchise?"

Comments

Save the Franchise?

[k_187]

I think the franchise was lost among the faithful a long time ago. Somewhere between Mesaa and Jar-Jar Binks.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[kannibal_klown]

Eh, the books are still alright. I finished the "Legacy of the Force" series a month-or-so ago and enjoyed it though I was expecting more of a finale.

As far as video games go, some of the recent games were decent as well. The Jedi Knight series was great and the previews for their upcoming 3rd person game sound positive. Then again I haven't played Battlegrounds or SWG. Personally I want an updated "Tie Fighter" game, that was probably their best sim.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Chelloveck]

You young whippersnappers! Back in my day, all we had to hate were the Ewoks! And we liked it that way!

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Lilith's Heart-shape]

As far as I'm concerned, it was lost when Lucas decided to have Greedo shoot first over a decade after the movie finished its theatrical run. It's a bit late now, George.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[rudeboy1]

I second that motion. TIE Fighter was definitely one of the best games of all time. LucasArts really had a streak going there for a while where everything they touched turned to gold. TIE Fighter, Full Throttle, Monkey Island, Dark Forces... I remember Star Wars Rebellion moved me into a completely new genre of vidja games. Recently, I played the first Galactic Battlegrounds, and as soon as I got over the spiffy graphics, I realized the company doesn't have the same outstanding sparkle it used to.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Orleron]

Mmm... Six. Did you see the episode where her girlfriend, Seven ate Nine?

Re:Save the Franchise?

[jellomizer]

I think they really missed the Han Solo type of character in the new stuff. Han Solo showed you can be kickass without the force. The new movies relegated everyone without the force to cannon fodder. While watching force power fights are fun they don't really make good story as they have a lot of power. But there isn't really anyone to relate to. the Jedi were too goody goody. The sith were mostly just evil. (Duko had a chance as a good vilan but they just gave him one movie (Which was horible) and killed in 5 minutes in the next) Han Solo was the good guy but had a dark side which made him more human and recognizable. The new movies didn't have that. They kinda tried with Jar Jar but he was too stupid and attempt to be a comic role (which R2D2 and C3PO took as well) we needed a serious character who was a normal guy who kicked ass.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[MagdJTK]

Don't forget Grim Fandango, possibly the most overlooked videogame gem ever.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Random BedHead Ed]

Ewoks were cool, and Lucas hadnt sold out then.

Ah, obviously you haven't heard the back story of Return of the Jedi. No, I don't mean the bit where it was called Revenge of the Jedi. There's more.

I'll cite nothing because I have no idea where this information leaked from, and you can take it with a grain of salt because I heard it years ago. But apparently the original story for Jedi worked like this:

The forest moon isn't Endor, it's Kashyyyk. The furry friends aren't Eworks, they're Wookies. You can still see an echo of this in the final film, because the very word "Ewok" is an anagram for "Wookie" (with a couple letters dropped). No one knows why this happened, but it's a safe bet the Wookies would have been way cooler than the Ewoks were. Popular opinion has it that the merchandising for cute teddy bears was more attractive than that of Wookie action figures, but no one knows for sure. Perhaps Lucas felt burned by the negative reaction to the Wookies in the 1978 Christmas Special.

Anyway, the idea was that Kashyyyk was a slave planet. That the Empire had enslaved the Wookies was a preexisting concept, and it explainined why Chewbacca so hated the idea of wearing handcuffs in A New Hope: he was a former slave, and Han had rescued him years ago. The story of Jedi was originally to have involved the Wookie uprising. Instead we got Ewok booby traps. Also, Vader doesn't take Luke to the new Death Star. Instead, he takes him to the capital planet of the Empire, and it's there that Luke encounters the Emperor. The setting wasn't named "Coruscant" back then (that's Timothy Zahn's name for it) but Ralph McQuarrie concept art from the 1980s still exists for it.

Later versions differed from the final story in key ways as well. For example, Michael Pennington's character Moff Jerrjerod (the dude who meets Vader in the docking bay at the start of Jedi) originally had a more expanded role. At the film's climax, he realizes that the Emperor is dead and that the Rebellion is about to destroy the new Death Star, so he decides to aim the primary weapon at Endor. The idea is to generate an explosion that will destroy the entire Rebellion in one swift stroke (not to mention the Death Star and much of the Imperial fleet, but he decides that's a small price under the circumstances). This adds significant tension and makes the Rebellion's last-minute destruction of the Death Star that much more urgent.

Of course, the last story element to drastically change was the loss of the Millennium Falcon. Originally Lando does not manage to escape with the Falcon (why did you think Han and Chewie weren't on it?), making Han's last moment with his favorite ship the scene in the docking bay where Lando promises to return it without a scratch. Remember how Han comments to Leia that he feels like he'll never see it again? Originally he didn't. Lando redeems himself for turning Han over to Vader by sacrificing himself to save the Rebellion. Han loses the Falcon, but in a way this is good for his character's development because it means he finally gives up his old ways and lands the princess.

Rumor has it that they filmed Lando's death but it bothered test audiences (who do they get for these idiot test audiences, anyway?) so Lucas and director Richard Marquand decided to change it.

While I like Jedi, I've always believed that something fundamental snapped between the glorious Empire Strikes Back and the final film. Lucas lost track of what was good about the universe and the characters, and it only got worse from there.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Lord Apathy]

I've read there is even more to the story than that. My rumors are very old so their sources are long gone but I'm sure some fan boys out there will correct my errors for us.

I read that in the following movies, well call them 7, 8, and 9, for lack of a better name, Luke was supposed to turn to the dark side. He was really supposed to take the Emperors place, or something like that. When I watch Return and Empire with that in mind I think I see the foreshadowing of how that happens.

In Empire Luke leaves with out his training being complete so that makes him venerable to the dark sides influence. And of course in Return he is dressed in black.

But the thing that sold the deal to me was in the Emperors throne room where the Emperor told him to pick up his sabre and strike. And that is exactly what he did. To me it doesn't matter that he didn't finish the strike be for Vader blocked it. But for all intent and purpose he intended to kill the Emperor right there. For me that was when Luke went over.

Now I'm sure this has all been explained away in some book that I haven't read. I would love to know how it was.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Random BedHead Ed]

I'd put it another, sadder way: the first two movies were "broken" from what Lucas really wanted, and it wasn't until Jedi and the prequels that he started to exercise greater control. Or rather, what you like best about A New Hope and Empire is not what Lucas was really shooting for: these were all meant to be kid's movies, and that the first couple attracted adults and sci-fi lovers was a profitable accident.

The more control Lucas has over the story and filming, the worse the film ends up. Go see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and then read one of the leaked copies of Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods on the Internet. The latter is a professionally written screenplay by someone who loves the characters, the former is Lucas's "corrected" version. We need to stop having high expectations of the man.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[dogmatixpsych]

You hit the nail on the head. The writing/scripting in the newer Star Wars movies wasn't that great. Actually, it was mainly just the dialogue that was poorly-written. I think the stories were there for the most part though, we just had poor dialogue to listen to.

Lucas is a master at coming up with stories, he just isn't great at actually writing them. He's given us Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Willow. He is also good visually; all the Star Wars movies look fantastic visually and have awesome special effects. He just needs to let other people write and direct and only be involved at a creative level (artistic direction, overarching story, visual effects, etc.).

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Lord Apathy]

I have to admit when Greedo shot first that bug didn't crawl up my ass anywhere near as far as adding the scream in Empire. When Greedo shot first that just made Han somewhat less a scoundrel but didn't completely change the meaning of that scene.

Well not as much as the scream did. Right there Luke had two choices, turn to the dark side or die. With the scream it makes Luke look like the choice was taken from him and he slipped. He could have been thinking of joining Vader.

With out the scream it re-enforces that Luke made a distinct decision to let go and die. and he never regretted that decision all the way down.

Adding the scream changed the entire meaning of that scene.

Re:Save the Franchise?

[SenseiLeNoir]

In the expanded universe, I think either Luke, or his children, turn over to the dark side, but return. I am not sure, as much of the expanded Star Wars universe was written by others.

Considering that Star Wars, is itself Fiction, you can always debate about it, but considering that it IS fiction, you are right and wrong. It doesn't matter.

However, the incident with Luke and the Lightsaber, it was never denied that Luke DID turn to the dark side at that point. He did intend to take the life of the Emperor, and did turn to the dark side. Its better described in the official book. However, he "came to his senses" and rescind the dark side later when he cast the lightsaber, and declared that he is a Jedi, and always will be a Jedi, just like his father before him. Especially he did it with a sense of realization and compassion. You have to remember, if he finished off Darth Vader at that point, he would have been the apprentice. HE had nothing to know that his friends had actually succeeded in Endor, and the end was near for the Galactic Empire. As far as he knew, all had failed, and the Empire was set to win. He had experienced some of the power of the dark side, and the promise it gave. Yet he declined it, and in the end was willing to sacrifice his life for it, Begging for help from his father, when the emperor used his dark force on him. It was that which also brought Anakin Skywalker back from the dark side to save his son. And why Anakin died as a Jedi, and not a Sith.

That makes a whole big difference. Just because a Jedi turns to the dark side doesn't not make him a Sith. He is a Sith for as long as he or she embraces the Dark side. The moment a sith rescinds the Dark Side in a real and genuine manner, he or she ceases to be a sith, and returns to the light of the Jedi. With Luke, he returned far quicker. Anakin took much longer, but the intent was still noble (he knew of his death, yet he destroyed the emperor and save his son, the son who refused the dark side)

Re:Save the Franchise?

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

> Only the very first missions are actually flown in a no-shields TIE-Fighter.
> Later you get to fly TIEs with shields

Darth Vader: Admiral Pooet

Admiral Pooet: Yes, Lord Vader?

Vader: Whose bright idea was it to send out recruits in ships without proper shielding?

Admiral Pooet: It was mine, Lord Vader. They didn't deserve it because then it would be too easy to accomplish their missions.

Vader: And this lead to the loss of hundreds of thousands of these fighters?

Admiral Pooet: Yyyy...essss.

Vader: The Empire has vast resources, Admiral, but not infinite ones. Have you never heard the old saying that if you find yourself in a fair fight, you haven't done your homework?

(Pooet collapses)

Vader: Admiral Foopfoop?

Admiral Foopfoop: (visibly uncomfortable) Yes, Lord Vader?

Vader: Please send for Moff Krunktor. I wish to discuss with him sending out recruit stormtroopers with defective blasters that have a tough killing those little squeeky mouse/doggie robots in fewer than 8 hits.

Foopfoop: Yes, Lord Vader.

Vader: (To himself) Which reminds me, I have to go have a "chat" with the Sith Academy teacher on Korriban. I don't like these pathetic lightsabers the young Sith are using which can't seem to effortlessly cut through a metal sword or suit of armor, to say nothing of melting a huge hole in a reinforced door.

If in doubt, read this article!

[ShieldVV0lf]

I was QUITE surprised at the scheming behind the scenes when I read this article some time back. They *know* what they have and aren't holding back. It is interesting just how little they try to hide it and how no one really cares how much they are milking the franchise.

Some odd FORCE really drives the market. I have a collection with items dating as recent as 1981, valued between $5000 and $7500. The original prices for the items summed to no more than $670!

Re:If in doubt, read this article!

[radish]

Some odd FORCE really drives the market. I have a collection with items dating as recent as 1981, valued between $5000 and $7500. The original prices for the items summed to no more than $670!

Should have bought stock. Had you put that same $670 in a DJIA tracker back in '81 you'd have $8262 right now. Had you had amazing foresight and put it in Apple stock, you'd have almost $41,000!

Embargo?

[Osurak]

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

What?

[Blice]

You say that Star Wars shouldn't be made into a cartoon for children? And you also say jar-jar binks was a bad idea for the series?

That doesn't make any sense. Okay look, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this review? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this review! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a slashdotter defending a major mistake in starwars history, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're sitting there in the move theater reviewing this movie, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed review, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!

It's Warner Bros., not LucasArts

[Le Jimmeh]

At least, according to AintItCool's reply.

Except that it doesn't make sense

[SmallFurryCreature]

Lets not forget that episodes 1-3 were not exactly cheap to produce. If Lucas had sold out, he would have had the movies made in hong-kong on a shoe-string budget and then raked in the cash based on the brand alone. THAT is selling out.

What he did instead is forget what made the original movies such a success, not just with kids but with adults as well (it was my mom that introduced me to Star Wars and she was an adult mother when it was released) and instead attempted to make the movie appeal to kids without understand what kids want.

Basically, he ignored his matured fanbase and tried to appeal to a new demographic that just didn't exist.

Lets face it, kids today got better entertainment then 3 films that are nothing but a punch and judy show (KIDS: look out punch BEHIND you PUNCH: where KIDS: BEHIND YOU), the jedis never being able to spot the baddie until it is way to late.

It might have worked as high fantasy with a doomed ending with just a tiny bit of hope remaining but that doesn't work in a kiddy movie.

I like the ending of episode three were you see the would be rebels dispersing, but everything before was just... Well not bad exactly, just that the actors could not act, Lucas can't write or direct and just who was the story aimed at anyway?

The most obvious failure? Nobody quotes the new star wars to honor it. "These are not the droids you are looking for" "I am your father" "I find your lack of faith disturbing" "It is a trap".

Where are the episode 1-3 quotes?

George Lucas one had luck producing a movie, it is known by fans that this was not his own creation, his wife for instance seems to have played a large role. Other directors did ESB. He should go back to producing but frankly, his most crowning achievement, getting Star Wars made in the 70's is no longer anything complex with the fortune he has know and the standard high special effects movie we got know. People forgot just how ground breaking A New Hope was from a producers job. That is gone now. Lucas has nothing to do but sign the checks and so he gets involved with other things that were previously left to others.

Lucas did not make A New Hope, he produced it. He did make episode 1-3. That's the problem.

Re:First Amendment?

[gilroy]

What is this "first amendment" of which you speak? No doubt some ancient and outmoded document that no one takes seriously anymore.....

The Constitution ... an elegant document for a more civilized age.

Re:A long time ago... say around 2003

[kungfugleek]

General Grievous is one big WTF if you don't at least take a glance at the animated series.

Actually, I thought all of the prequels are one big WTF whether or not I had watched the animated series.

But then I read the Secret History of Star Wars and it all became clear -- Lucas never really liked Star Wars himself. At least, he never intended it to be the deep quasi-spiritual struggle of good and evil. He wanted a high adventure space-romp. It was Empire (which he didn't have much involvement with) that made things deeper and more spiritual. Compare Obi Wan's talk of the Force, "The Force is what gives a Jedi his powers." with Yoda's, "...for my ally is The Force, and a powerful ally it is." Obi-wan's line was written by Lucas and reveals is initial, shallow desire for the force to be a tool for magic tricks, Yoda's line, written by Brackett/Kasdan, shows where the franchise started to get deeper. It's the depth that really fascinated myself and I think a lot of us fans, but Lucas hated the idea and I think he still does.

Lucas has been trying to lighten it up ever since then, and is quoted as saying that one of the main reasons he made the prequels at all was to "fund other projects."

I think he doesn't care if he ruins it for us, as long as he can make money from it to fund the things he really cares about. It's sad but he has creator's rights over it so there's nothing you can do about it.

I'll fix it

[kenp2002]

I can save it:

I'll craft Star Wars into a 22 season television series about the slow decay of the Jedi and the friction between the Sith Council and the the current Sith Lord Sidious.

Sidious on the outs with the Council is in a despirate position and a critical timing to regain control of the galaxy.

Mean while the Jedi have descended into a religious in-fighting on differing theories of the nature of the Force.

Qui Gon is leading the "Living Force" theory basing it in the Midchlorians. Yoda is leading the Universal Force theory (mirroring the differing views of physics, partical, quantum, string, etc..)

The Galactic Sentate is steeping in corruption and dealing with technological stagnation and the political fall out of ivolving the Sith in ending the last of the Mandalorian strong holds. (The Sith this time function as more of a mafia-like organization.)

We then slowly start moving through the movies starting with episode 1 but spend considerably more time focusing on the the infighting of the Jedi and the drama that comes about with admitting Annakin. (Seasons 1-3)

Ok now we are at Movie #2's content where we really start breaking down Anakin psychologically. Obi Wan is the presumed to lead the Living Force movement but is more concerned with the Jedi's pure function, protecting the Republic. Sidious is playing a dangerous game violating several of the Sith's tenants and is running the risk of losing the Sith agent's loyalty. Amadala is dealing with a considerable age gap with Annakin and is dangerously close to plunging the Sentate into a political mess. (Seasons 4-5)

Ok Third Movie content where the Jedi implode politically just in time to get slaughtered. We focus this season specifically on Annakin\Vader and the trouble the Emperor has gotten himself into. At the last moment the Emperor has grabbed victory and appeased the Sith Council for now... The Jedi are hunted and exterminated as Vader begins his reign.
(Season 6)

(Fast Forward 20 Years, yes we are aging the twins from original cannon)

Vader is a tormented soul but suprisingly the Emperor and Vader are in trouble contantly dealing with the reality of ruling the universe. Brokering deals with the Hutt, defending the Empire for invaders, and the rebellion. We paint an unapologetic yet sympathetic view of the Empire internals. Vader's confidant turns out to be Bobba Fett and the Emperor has to deal with growing threats of rebellion, knowing full well that failure will turn the Sith against him in full.

Mean while Luke and Leia's early life plays out in short clips while, once marginal characters (Ackabar, etc.) play out in how they become part of the rebellion.

(Season 7-10)

Ok Movie 4 content begins as a series of riots break out forcing the Emperor to implement the doctrine of fear as a despirate response to the growing rebellion. The clock has started and the only bargining chip he has is the Death Star.

Obi Wan gets word of the open rebellion and senses the time is right. Fate delivers Luke to him.

Mean while the Death Star plans are stolen and the story of their delivery to Leia unfolds.

(Season 11-13)

Ok Movie 5 Content remains straight forward from the movie but an additional focus of the Anti-Jedi propaganda starting to fall apart and the dangerous deals the Relbellion has to make to secure ships, supplies, etc.

Vader figures out whole Luke is and discretely tried to protect his son while playing a deadly game of cat and mouse with the Emperor, thinking Luke and himself can overthrow the Emperor and "Fix this, make things right" in his own twisted way.

Han begins to notice that Luke and Leia act a bit too much like one another, begins to see some similarities...

(Season 14 - 16)

Movie 6 now, with a slightly different take. We make the Ewoks just a tad more menacing and a little less cuddly and really focus now on Vader and the Emperor as advisaries. Luke and Leia playout but we add in the "cost of victory" for th

Oh, I have no doubt

[DesScorp]

I know exactly what's driving Lucas on this. Cash. Period. Whatever motivations he may have once had for this story and this franchise, his sole concern now seems to be the bank account.

Supposedly the new movie was supposed to be televised first and then straight to DVD, and during preparation of the movie Lucas' people said he lit up and said something like "This is so good it needs to be in theaters!".

I think it was more like "Hey, I think we can squeeze another 90 to 100 million out of the suckers if we put this in theaters".

Re:Oh, I have no doubt

[prisoner-of-enigma]

I know exactly what's driving Lucas on this. Cash. Period. Whatever motivations he may have once had for this story and this franchise, his sole concern now seems to be the bank account.

I disagree. According to Forbes, George's personal fortune is immense. He's worth $3.5 billion, making him #61 on the list of the 400 Richest people in America. He could buy a new Ferrari every day for the rest of his life and still have billions left over. Ditto for yachts, mansions, and jets. What possible motivation would he have to try and amass more wealth? As Bill Gates once said, at some point, no matter how much you're able to pay for a hamburger, does it taste any better?

What's driving Lucas here is that he thinks his films are the highest art in the land. He truly thinks he can write good dialogue (he can't), touching love scenes (dear God, no), and witty humor (for a three-year-old, maybe). He puts out this execrable dreck because, in his mind, it's all the other films that are execrable dreck. His wealth allows him to live in his own world, and I'm quite sure all those around him -- who are dependent upon him for a paycheck -- nod respectfully and praise his work as that of a master even when they'd probably rather wipe their asses with it.

No, it's not greed that drives Lucas to destroy our cherished childhood memories of one of the most seminal films ever made. It's his pride. He simply refuses to believe he's as awful of a filmmaker as he really is, and stuff like Clone Wars is the result.

Re:Streisand

[Reality Master 201]

If you strike down these reviews, they will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Re:More For Kids, I Think.

[fwarren]

He took a perfectly good storyline and threw it in the trash

Ain't It Cool said something I have been saying for years. What the original Star Wars films had that made them work was Lucas' wife giving good input and reigning him in.

Now days there is no one who can tell George Lucas something is a bad idea. Midiclorians? Sure great! Yoda with a 6 pack jumping around like a frog in a blender. Cool, go for it Geroge.

Once upon a time he had a wife who could tell him no more blow jobs till he pulls that kind of crap out of his scripts. Now they are divorced and we are left to suffer.