Slashdot's Disagree Mail

I am responsible for reading most of the help requests sent to Slashdot. Most of the mail I get in a day is what you would expect, comments and concerns about postings, user accounts and Slashdot itself. There are a very special group however that get passed around the office due to the inordinate level of anger, lack of understanding and just plain weirdness they possess. Through the years I've collected many and still get such gems on a regular basis. We thought it would be fun to share some of our favorite rants, ramblings and ruminations with the rest of you. I give to you the first of many installments of Slashdot's disagree mail. The names have been changed to protect the idiot — hit the link below to drink it in.

Our first entry starts off by explaining:

"Every time I try to login it tells me that my password is bad! I know I'm using the right password why won't you let me in? My account is *******"

I'm sorry but I don't see an account with the name *******. I also don't find an account with the email address you're using associated with it. Do you happen to know what your uid is?

"Try lookin harder cause I was using AOL a few days ago just fine but now I can't! I'm mailing you from the library right now cause you won't let me on the internet!"

AOL? Can you not log into Slashdot or is the problem that you can't get online at home?

"Whats Slashdot why am I given you guys money for internet if I cant use it?!"

Slashdot is the website you are writing to. If you were banned here for some reason I might be able to help you but I'm not in charge of the whole internet, at least not yet. It sounds like you need to get a hold of AOL tech support and hopefully they can solve your problem.

"If you can't help me why are you on google when I type in help with the internet? If you don't want to help people when they need it maybe you shouldn't be on google!"

Our last email this week demonstrates something, but I'm not exactly sure what it is:

from ***************
to banned@slashdot.org
date Mon, Aug 11, 2008 at 6:46 PM
subject stop sending me mail
"If your so fucking smart that you created the great and awesome slashdot why can't you figure out that I don't want your stupid bulshit mail! Everyone here acts like they are so much smarter than everyone else and that a teenager can't know what is right because he isn't fat enough from sitting around eating twinkys and playing games on the computer. You never even had a girlfriend I bet because you're to busy being smarter than everyone else. Fuck you stop sending mail just because you can't handle me!

P.S. Sorry I didn't write that my little brother did but I really don't want to get mail from you anymore can you help me please?"

Comments

It is most munificent of you,

[seanadams.com]

... good sir, to expend your precious electro-bits so as to share those TWO WHOLE EMAILS with your loyal readers. I look forward to future installments of these tomes.

Now, wtf do you expect us to discuss?

Re:It is most munificent of you,

[timster]

Maybe we can discuss how obnoxious the white-on-green text is? Please?

Re:It is most munificent of you,

[JeanCroix]

...still the easiest on my eyes, after all these years.

Re:It is most munificent of you,

[PIBM]

Well, if you are using an iphone, 2 inches by 2 inches is like almost all of the screen estate ... so, why are you complaining ? ;)

I'm sorry,

[pwnies]

I really am. Not for the hate letters you get... but for this as a whole. Idle just doesn't feel like frontpage material /.

Horrible stylesheet

[nharmon]

I'm about to send an email complaining about the horrible stylesheet that idle.slashdot.org uses.

This is the sort of thing that belongs on TDWTF...

[42forty-two42]

... not slashdot.

Allow us to disable Idle, please!

[Brazilian Geek]

Hey guys, how about allowing us to disable stories from Idle - if not disable, how about allowing us to show up on the main page minimized.

Drink it in? Huh?

[nurb432]

Come on guys... Its just 2 emails.. thats more of a droplet of morning mist as it condensates on the leaf of a dandelion and not worthy of even remotely referring it to as a taste..

You actually read email?

[Anonymous Crowhead]

I guess that's easier than fixing bugs.

1234567890123456789012

(Numbers represent the width of the comment box in firefox running on linux)

Troll baiting are we?

[Deathdonut]

While I got a nice chuckle from these two mails and appreciate the fact that they were posted, I can't see this making life easy for the poor guy.

He's probably going to receive 20,000 troll emails over the course of the next month.

Re:Needs more.

[Anonymous Coward]

You spelled MOAR wrong.

Dear Slashdot,

[Thelasko]

How do I mod down an entire article?

Thanks,
Thelasko

P.S. Worst article ever!

Dear slashdot:

[Spy der Mann]

Could you add a new rule to the front page:

if(category=="idle") {
    dont_post_in_front_page();
}

Thank you.

Re:Do they speak English in What?

[Ma8thew]

It's a joke. Email sounds like disagree mail. Of course, it wasn't a very good joke, I had to explain it.

Re:This is the sort of thing that belongs on TDWTF

[corbettw]

Except that there, it would be funny. Alex is a little better at setting up the joke and finding the punchline. Sam dragged that first letter out longer than an SNL skit.

Re:The ladies

[Valdrax]

God, I hope this "post anonymously" button works, or else the wife is gonna be pissed...

You could always just let their air out of her.