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Robert Heinlein's Pre-Internet Fan Mail FAQ

Posted by Soulskill on from the tanstaafl dept.

Hugh Pickens writes "Kevin Kelly has an interesting post about a letter he found amongst correspondence from his days editing the Whole Earth Catalog. The letter is Robert Heinlein's own nerdy solution to a problem common to famous authors: to deal with fan mail. In the days before the internet, Heinlein's solution was to create a list of frequently asked questions, answer them, and remove the questions. Then he, or rather his wife Ginny, checked off the appropriate answer(s) and mailed it back. Some of the entries in Heinlein's answer sheet are quite illuminating and amusing. Our personal favorite: 'You say that you have enjoyed my stories for years. Why did you wait until you disliked one story before writing to me?'"

50 of 181 comments (clear)

  1. Why?! by UnixUnix · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why did I wait?! Because I am Lazarus Long and I do things my own way, Bob.

    1. Re:Why?! by Dionysus · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Wow, offtopic when he mentions Lazarus Long in a Heinlein article. People just don't read these days.

      Maybe if you don't know anything about Heinlein, you shouldn't modding

      --
      Je ne parle pas francais.
    2. Re:Why?! by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

      There's got to be a Lazarus Long quote to fit the situation somewhere. Let's see...

      Perhaps the bad mod was an example of "Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect."

      but this quote probably fits better: "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."

      --
      Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
    3. Re:Why?! by oodaloop · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I guess the mods didn't grok the joke. Or this one, in all liklihood.

      --
      Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
    4. Re:Why?! by houghi · · Score: 3, Funny

      People are spoiled because it is free and everybody knows TANSTAAFL

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    5. Re:Why?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Maybe if you don't know anything about Heinlein, you shouldn't modding

      Maybe he accidentally a coca-cola bottle.

    6. Re:Why?! by ConceptJunkie · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Lazarus Long reminds me of The Simpsons... there is a quote by him relevant to practically any imaginable topic, The Simpsons by dint of its sheer volume and Lazarus Long because of the universality of his quotes.

      "The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship."

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
  2. Re:who ? by Whiney+Mac+Fanboy · · Score: 4, Informative

    is this idiot ? and why cvant he use a computer ?

    TFA makes it quite clear that it's talking about days before home computing, not the days before the internet.

    Ginny Heinlein said that by 1984, "with the advent of computerization in our household, we no long use the form letter to answer fan mail. I find that it is possible now, with the computer, to write individual letters in reply to fan mail faster than I could check off the answer on the form."

    --
    There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
  3. Re:who ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    is this person who reads the TFA ? and why cant he act like other /.ers ?

  4. Citations? by Naznarreb · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Anyone know off hand what the papers and articles he cites are all about? I'm curious to know what questions The Saturday Evening Post, Mark Twain and Who's Who's in America might answer, especially since they were common enough to be included in the FAQ.

    1. Re:Citations? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      The Renshaw reference is regarding "Citizen of the Galaxy": accelerated education using a tachistoscope to provide brief glimpses of material that must be read and or memorized. Using a projector with exposure settings much like a camera, you can learn to recognize things very quickly. I used this when I learned to speed read and it was quite effective.

    2. Re:Citations? by thePowerOfGrayskull · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Samuel Renshaw, psychologist, which leads to this rather interesting read.

  5. Interesting by Aerynvala · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Some of the answers were amusing. Good to know that fannish entitlement and the false sense of intimacy are not merely a product of the internet.

    --
    http://transformativeworks.org/
    1. Re:Interesting by CortoMaltese · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Some of the answers were amusing.

      The list makes me think that the *unchecked* "Please do not write to me again" and "Your letter was most welcome! ..." answers also work as special reward and punishment, respectively.

    2. Re:Interesting by RichiH · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Well, a sense of false entitlement was one of the things he hated the most (judging by what he wrote, but I read pretty much all fiction and a good chunk of his non-fiction).

  6. It isn't "better" now, though... by sleeponthemic · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Before, they had to write the thing, buy a stamp and send it.

    Now I can send britney my lesbian star trek fan fiction at the click of a mouse. It's got to be wayyyy worse to go through your mail now. (Assuming you have the intention of attempting to appease your fans by answering). Way easier to delete of course.. :)

    --
    I record my sleeptalking
    1. Re:It isn't "better" now, though... by meta-monkey · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Every time I feel like writing fan-mail, I think, "Wait, would I really want to be bothered by this? And is it creepy?" and then I don't send it. I'd love to tell Alastair Reynolds how much I enjoy his work, but then I stop myself because the last thing I want to do is waste his time reading "gosh I sur luv ur books lawl" when he could be spending that time writing more books...

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    2. Re:It isn't "better" now, though... by QuantumG · · Score: 5, Funny

      This is why hate mail makes so much more sense. People like reading their hate mail.

      --
      How we know is more important than what we know.
    3. Re:It isn't "better" now, though... by plen246 · · Score: 5, Funny

      My fans are pretty well-behaved. Sometimes they'll say "hi" to me on the street, but they're almost always too shy to tell me that they recognize me from the photos on my blog. Occasionally, my more enthusiastic fans will take time out of their workdays to send me fan mail, often exclaiming that I'm "Super lucky!" or "Pre-qualified!". I do find it a bit creepy when my more ardent fans send me lists of all of the public places I've been in the past few weeks. Although I don't usually notice them when I'm out and about, some of them must get pretty close, as they've been keeping track of my spending habits.

      Come to think of it, rising political stars often take advantage of the boost in self-confidence that comes with their new stature on the national stage to send me personalized greetings in the mail, praising our shared values and beliefs. Somehow, though, we always lose that special connection once they're in office.

    4. Re:It isn't "better" now, though... by Spatial · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Well it's true to an extent. I've got fan-mail in the past quite a few times, but I never really knew what to say to it. It makes me feel awkward; just saying "Thanks" isn't really enough, it's too little effort. But I can't think of anything meaningful to say either, because really, what do you say to praise? I draw a blank.

      Hatemail, on the other hand, I can deal with. Sometimes they have a point and it makes you think. Sometimes they're funny. And sometimes it makes you shake your head and want to leap on theirs. All in all though, I find it much easier to respond to.

    5. Re:It isn't "better" now, though... by Grashnak · · Score: 3, Funny

      I am intrigued by your lesbian star trek fan fiction and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

      --
      Life needs more saving throws.
  7. Answer to answer by TheLink · · Score: 3, Interesting

    "You say that you have enjoyed my stories for years. Why did you wait until you disliked one story before writing to me?'"

    Because if you're a good writer, you might have pleased millions.

    And if millions of people write to you, it could make the postman unhappy (and other people too).

    There's already a good way to show appreciation - via the writer's bank account.

    That said, do write an appreciation letter if it's for something exceptional (or your letter is going to be something worth reading).

    But millions of letters just saying "I liked your latest book" might get a bit tiresome (or worse think star trek fan vs Shatner ala SNL ).

    --
  8. Good idea by Patrik_AKA_RedX · · Score: 4, Funny

    (X)The article
    ( )The intervieuw
    ( )The ramblings
    was
    ( )intresting
    (X)informative
    (X)funny
    ( )bullshit
    and thank you for
    (X)sharing this with us
    ( )informing us of such a very important item.
    ( )wasting our time

    1. Re:Good idea by complete+loony · · Score: 4, Informative

      And of course in a similar vein there is the stock response to spam solutions.

      --
      09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
    2. Re:Good idea by thedonger · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...
      and
      (X)thank
      ( )fuck
      you for ...

      --
      Help fight poverty: Punch a poor person.
  9. Re:who ? by paganizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm not sure that is an excuse; I'm fairly confident that Robert & Virginia Heinlein were fully capable of producing a computer from parts from a TV, washing machine, and whatever was laying around in the basement, anytime from about 1946 on.
    I bet it was the printer that was the sticking point.

    --
    Why, yes, I AM a Pagan Libertarian.
  10. Reminds me of this by tmk · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Stephen Goldin's 23 rules how to act when you meet a pro at an Sci-Fi convention. Not as amusing as Heinlein's, but an interesting read.

    via

    1. Re:Reminds me of this by syousef · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Stephen Goldin's 23 rules

      I count 17 actual rules and 6 "refer to rule X" clauses where the same rule applies to other situations.

      The gist however is don't be an ass, do the right thing at the right event, be generous and buy the bloke a meal or drink. Seems like common sense to me. I guess it's not so common (especially for some of the less socially adept that attend these conventions).

      --
      These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
  11. Another one by ian_mackereth · · Score: 4, Informative
    Spider Robinson appropriated (with permission) another form of RAH's and used them as thank you cards to subscribers to his Spider on the Web podcast.

    There's a copy here: http://mackereth.net/images/SotW_Thank_You_Card.jpg

  12. Televangelists did it better by Animats · · Score: 4, Interesting

    One of the big-name televanglists (Billy Graham?) had an early computerized system for answering his fan mail. A staff of people read the mail, and used highlighter to mark phrases that contained relevant keywords. Data entry operators keyed in the address and the highlighted phrases. A program used the phrases to select an appropriate canned reply, filled in keywords, added bible citations, and printed out a letter.

    1. Re:Televangelists did it better by plasmacutter · · Score: 4, Interesting

      One of the big-name televanglists (Billy Graham?) had an early computerized system for answering his fan mail. A staff of people read the mail, and used highlighter to mark phrases that contained relevant keywords. Data entry operators keyed in the address and the highlighted phrases. A program used the phrases to select an appropriate canned reply, filled in keywords, added bible citations, and printed out a letter.

      BAD famous person!

      I once wrote Johnny Isakson about the PDEA (piracy deterrance and enforcement act) which would have turned the p2p wars into the war on drugs, and received a canned reply about the public domain enhancement act.

      Makes me want to pick up my rolled up newspaper and swat him good and proper, then lock him in the garage.

      --
      VLC FOR MAC IS DYING! IF YOU DEVELOP, PLEASE SAVE IT!!
  13. Re:Makings of a slashdot poll... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
    That question would be

    What question in a fan's mail will receive the answer: "Please do not write to me again" ?

  14. Well, check out the last answer on the list : by g253 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    " Your letter was most welcome! - loaded with friendliness and with no requests or demands. You suggested that no answer was expected but I must tell you how _much_ it pleased me. I wish you calm seas, following winds, and a happy voyage through life. "

  15. Actually, he missed on that point by Mathinker · · Score: 4, Informative

    I know that your post is tongue-in-cheek, but the reality is that Heinlein didn't foresee electronic computing and in all of his early works which I am familiar with (e.g., the "Future History") he has human mathematical savants being used for navigation calculations.

    1. Re:Actually, he missed on that point by cthulu_mt · · Score: 5, Informative

      The early stories did have some computers; Heinlein just fell into the same trap as most writers then and thought they would always be huge. "Slipstick" Libby was a special case.

      I personally like Space Cadet; its only one sentence, but the character has a pocket-sized portable telephone. 40 years ahead of the curve on the cellphone.

      --
      Virginia is for lovers. EVE is for griefers.
    2. Re:Actually, he missed on that point by shilly · · Score: 4, Interesting

      For me, what's interesting in that is that one of the character says they put their phone in their suitcase so they didn't have to answer it. It's that very human interaction with technology that makes his writing so believable -- even when, as in this example, he didn't predict the exact form of the future (ie the need for a power button).

    3. Re:Actually, he missed on that point by MichaelSmith · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The early stories did have some computers; Heinlein just fell into the same trap as most writers then and thought they would always be huge. "Slipstick" Libby was a special case.

      Don't forget Deija Thoris Carter. But by then he was making the point (repeated in Friday) that a computer, no matter how fast, may not be able to beat human intuition.

      Then there is Lazarus's clone sisters Laz and Lor who IIRC had similar talent with numbers. I won't include Dora Long because she started as a computer in the first place.

      --
      http://michaelsmith.id.au
    4. Re:Actually, he missed on that point by cthulu_mt · · Score: 4, Funny

      Those were the later stories and they suck so hard my bookshelf is surrounded by a cloud of Hawking Radiation.

      --
      Virginia is for lovers. EVE is for griefers.
  16. Re:Makings of a slashdot poll... by MichaelSmith · · Score: 5, Funny

    What question in a fan's mail will receive the answer: "Please do not write to me again" ?

    Writing to say you loved his foundation series.

    --
    http://michaelsmith.id.au
  17. Read "Grumbles from the Grave"... by sirwired · · Score: 4, Interesting

    "Grumbles from the Grave" is a (now out-of-print) posthumous collection of letters from Heinlein, mostly between himself, publishers, and other SF Authors. It contains many letters on dealing with Fan Mail, Fans themselves, critics, publishers, etc. Quite an interesting little book.

    SirWired

  18. Re:Makings of a slashdot poll... by lgw · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Heinlein was very intolerant of anyone who challenged certain of his political views, even driving away life-long friends over very minor issues. He didn't suffer those he saw as fools gladly, and I'm sure he used that check-box often. You can read Spider Robinson's biography and literary reviews of Heinleins work for the sordid details, if you care about that sort of thing. Don't mistake the author for his protagonists.

    --
    Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
  19. Re:Makings of a slashdot poll... by MRe_nl · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do you like what Stanley Kubrick did in the on-screen adaptation of your book?

    --
    "Kill 'em all and let Root sort 'em out"
  20. Good old Robert by Lavene · · Score: 4, Funny

    Even in real life he was way ahead of his time. Look, the letter has underlined links!

    1. Re:Good old Robert by MichaelSmith · · Score: 5, Interesting

      In space cadet (~1950) a character takes a call on his mobile while standing in a queue for something. He tells the caller he will call back later when he is not in a crowd. Heinlein got the technology of the cellphone absolutely right but it didn't occur to him that in the future people would just keep chatting away, annoying people around them.

      --
      http://michaelsmith.id.au
    2. Re:Good old Robert by flewp · · Score: 4, Funny

      Heinlein got the technology of the cellphone absolutely right but it didn't occur to him that in the future people would just keep chatting away, annoying people around them.

      Well, there's a reason it's called science FICTION, no?

      --
      WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
  21. Re:I have to say by demonlapin · · Score: 3, Informative

    a lot more polite in that letter than I would have expected from his books. A letter bomb wouldn't have surprised me

    Ah, but bombs are expensive, and most people aren't worth the money.

  22. Re:Makings of a slashdot poll... by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

    You need to maintain a balance. In any room an ideal mixture is half ready to kill you, and half eager to defend you. That's maximum entertainment.

    --
    Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  23. Re:who ? by KGIII · · Score: 3, Funny

    No no... You are confusing him with McGyver.

    --
    "So long and thanks for all the fish."
  24. I think the TV was the sticking point by roystgnr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Read The Door Into Summer: the guy practically designed AutoCAD in 1956, but with the computer interfacing directly with a plotter. The missing piece was the idea of using video rather than the paper itself to visualize intermediate results.

  25. Because... by Martin+Spamer · · Score: 3, Funny

    'You say that you have enjoyed my stories for years. Why did you wait until you disliked one story before writing to me?'

    Because, if I sent you a fan letter after every story I liked you would probably have me arrested for stalking.