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UK UFO Sightings Declassified, Still No Intergalactic Relations

schwit1 is just one of the massive flood of readers (and publications) writing to tell us about the recently declassified UK Ministry of Defense account of a supposed UFO sighting. Included are nineteen sightings between 1986 and 1992, with the most notable being a sighting in 1991 with a US Air Force pilot's first-hand account. Not that this lends an air of credibility to anything, just more papers with more words. "Almost 200 such files will be made available by the MoD over the next four years. [...] UFO expert and journalism lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University, Dr David Clarke, said the documents would shed new light on relatively little-known sightings. He said some conspiracy theorists would already have decided that the release of the papers was a 'whitewash.' He added: 'Because the subject is bedevilled by charlatans and lunatics, it is career suicide to have your name associated with UFOs, which is a real pity. The National Archives are doing a fantastic job here. Everyone brings their own interpretation. Now you can look at the actual primary material — the stuff coming into the MoD every day — and make your own mind up.'"

28 of 319 comments (clear)

  1. Don't be silly. by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do you really think the MoD (or the CIA, NSA, etc.) are going to provide us with the real deal? Of course it's a whitewa.....NO, NO NOT THE ANAL PROBE AGAIN!!!

    1. Re:Don't be silly. by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Funny

      Mr. Goatse didn't cooperate, and look what happened to him.

    2. Re:Don't be silly. by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 4, Funny

      Do you really think the MoD (or the CIA, NSA, etc.) are going to provide us with the real deal? Of course it's a whitewa.....NO, NO NOT THE ANAL PROBE AGAIN!!!

      Dammit! Another brownout!

      --
      This guy's the limit!
  2. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    But what will I do with my tinfoil hat collection?

  3. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    No alien civilization is expending the mammoth amount of resources needed to traverse the vast distances of interstellar space just to stick a probe up your ass. Deal with it.

    yeah, but, it's more PC to say, "Aliens stuck a probe up my ass!" than saying "I stuck a probe up my ass because I LIKE IT!"

    I'll still blame the aliens thank you very much!

  4. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by CorporateSuit · · Score: 5, Funny

    No alien civilization is expending the mammoth amount of resources needed to traverse the vast distances of interstellar space just to stick a probe up your ass. Deal with it.

    I think you underestimate the driving power of finding inlets of pornography.

    --
    I am the richest astronaut ever to win the superbowl.
  5. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by elrous0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Considering that most of the people whose asses they probe are smelly rednecks with beer guts and only a few teeth, I would question their taste. You travel 100's of light years, only to forgo probing Natalie Portman for some trailer park skank?!?! Aliens are indeed strange.

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  6. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    My girlfriend stuck her tongue in my ass and it felt very alien. I did like it though...

  7. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    The U.S. government weren't trying to cover up aliens at places like Roswell, they were covering up their secret [craft].

    This may be true, but it also means the govt's creditability is zilch.
         

  8. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by 0100010001010011 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Rule 34. Even aliens have it.

  9. Re:What UFO conspiracy theorists REALLY want by elrous0 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Nonsense. There are no aliens here, just good old natives of Earth. You really need to just sit down and relax for a few hours. On an unrelated note, where do you live and is anyone else there with you?

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  10. I beg to disagree by Reality+Master+201 · · Score: 5, Funny

    No alien civilization is expending the mammoth amount of resources needed to traverse the vast distances of interstellar space just to stick a probe up your ass. Deal with it.

    To counter your wildly irresponsible statements, I offer proof.

  11. Re:What UFO conspiracy theorists REALLY want by Emperor+Zombie · · Score: 5, Funny

    Foolish Earth meat-creature, there are no aliens here! Just thinking about this ridiculous idea makes my vocal tubes swell with mirth! Ho ho!

    --
    I'm so excited I just made water in my pantaloons!
  12. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Which medieval paintings are those? And are you seriously citing your knowledge of radar screens based on an Atari game?

  13. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Yetihehe · · Score: 4, Funny
    --
    Extreme Programming - Redundant Array of Inexpensive Developers
  14. Re:Illin in the panicillin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Can we please get some entertaining trolls? This simply makes no sense.

  15. Re:Cause & Effect by Macrat · · Score: 3, Funny

    Jesus was an alien pregnancy experiment?

  16. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Gat0r30y · · Score: 5, Funny

    Obligatory Calvin and Hobbes quote: Sometimes I think the surest sign intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has come here.

    --
    Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
  17. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by gnick · · Score: 4, Funny

    It went from 400K to 700K in a matter of seconds.

    700K isn't really that warm for a jet engine (~425 C), what's impressive is that it had been running so cool - 400K is only ~25 degrees above boiling! It is impressive that the Belgians incorporate that kind of data into their radar systems, though.

    They probably just kicked on the afterburner.

    --
    He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
  18. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Jim+Hall · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... are you seriously citing your knowledge of radar screens based on an Atari game?

    Laugh now, but when the revolution comes, I am the one who will fly the TIE fighters to save humanity. I have countless hours of simulation time to prove it. :-)

    Similar training has also taught me the best way to win a firefight (like let's say, Iraq or Vietnam or WW2 Germany) is to bunny hop diagonally, then make a rocket-jump to higher ground! Seriously, the guvmint needs to apply this to our armed forces training now!

  19. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Get ready for the staged alien invasion slated for 2012, of course.

  20. Re:UFO != alien apacecraft by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I am pretty sure that a flaming dead cat dropped from an airplane at night would be considered a Unidentified "Falling" Object. Flaming dead cats do not fly.

  21. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by Lord+Ender · · Score: 5, Funny

    There are also dragons in medieval paintings. "You will have to explain why" they don't exist or else, obviously, we must accept that dragons are real. It's well known that the fire of a dragon's breath goes "from 400K to 700K in a matter of seconds," so we can safely say this is confirmed by ironclad modern empirical evidence!

    --
    A slashdotter who didn't build his own computer is like a Jedi who didn't build his own lightsaber.
  22. Being British,what are flying American acronyms... by D4C5CE · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...good for, when you've got genuine castles with even more genuine ghosts, and then again Nessie if Scottish summer gets all too boring?

    If anything, Her Majesty's extraterrestrials, keen to avoid any interference with the Royal Air Force (or, heaven forfend, the Home Secretary's wrath), stay orderly well grounded, and are kept busy making corn circles to lure Japanese tourists or those from insubordinate colonies to the fields of Devon!

  23. Re:And before you U.S. UFO conspirists chime in... by TheRaven64 · · Score: 4, Funny

    There are also dragons in medieval paintings. "You will have to explain why" they don't exist

    They evolved from fish. Their swim bladders gained an electrolysis gland which separated water they drank in to hydrogen and oxygen. They exhaled the oxygen, which caused spontaneous combustion on anything they breathed it on, and kept the hydrogen in their flight bladder to provide lift. Obviously, when they died, the hydrogen would combust, igniting the rest of the body and leaving no remnants in the fossil record.

    Next conspiracy please.

    --
    I am TheRaven on Soylent News
  24. Re:UFO != alien apacecraft by dbcad7 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I don't know that for sure.. sounds like testing is necessary.

    --
    waiting for ad.doubleclick.net
  25. We have reached the limits of what rectal probing by bussdriver · · Score: 3, Funny

    On earth the highest order creatures use rectal "probing" more than the lower creatures. It only stands to reason that more advanced creatures would have an even greater interest on rectal probing than us humans.

  26. Re:A Moderation Haiku by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    When writing haiku
    Use seventeen syllables
    I counted eighteen