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Slashdot's Disagree Mail
I'm sure this fellow had a long and glorious career as a hall monitor in school.
On Mon May 5, 2008 ******** wrote:
"I've found a potential threat to the free flow of ideas in the following discussion, ************ The problem is coming from ********* he is using bad language and verbally assaulting others who are trying to talk."
On Mon May 5, 2008 ******** wrote:
"The problem is still happening with ********* He has started to use vulgar language. Thank you for your swift attention to this matter."
On Mon May 5, 2008 ******** wrote:
"I've found another person using the same tactics in another story. ********* has ruined this thread, *********"
On Mon May 5, 2008 ******** wrote:
"More abuse here ********** and here ***********"
Thankfully, he took the rest of the day off. The next morning guess what was waiting for me?
On Tue May 6, 2008 ******** wrote:
"I spent a good portion of the evening and compiled quite a list of rudeness:
*******************
*******************
*******************
*******************
*******************
******************
It appears you have quite a problem on your hands!"
On Tue May 6, 2008 ******** wrote:
"I noticed I can still see the bad language I sent you yesterday. Is there someone else I should contact to remove these threads?"
On Tue May 6, 2008 ******** wrote:
"More bad language. ************ and ************"
On Tue May 6, 2008 ******** wrote:
"This points to a very disgusting image please remove it. ***********"
At this point I explained our moderation system to him and pointed him to the FAQ.
On Tue May 6, 2008 ******** wrote:
"I don't think changing my threshold really fixes the problem. That's like putting a bandage over a tumor. Not seeing something is not the same as fixing it. I feel I must continue alerting you to the problem that I don't think you fully understand."
On Wed May 7, 2008 ******* wrote:
"More abuse *********. I hope you plan on fixing this finally."
On Wed May 7, 2008 ******* wrote: "*************
**************
*************
**************
**************
I found these after only an hour of searching. This problem is much bigger than you know."
I knew he was right. The problem was much bigger than I initially thought. I solved it by directing him straight into my spam folder.
This guy would send us one of these at the end of the week for almost a year. None of them made sense but we started to look forward to finding out what things he would take responsibility for.
On Wed Feb, 12 2003 ****** wrote:
"My name is M.C. Shampoo
This message is for Matrix 4 people from myself: Shoutouts to Fame, Forensic, Skunk and Plink. Good work :)
Thank you for your time to read this message.
Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Answer: The chicken came with the egg. :) -- Shampoo.
Imagine one communications satellite between Canada and Britain that connects both countries with lasers that are so small that the lasers could be the size and voltage of a laser found in a portable compact disc player. The lasers transmit a digital signal from a satellite that is received, analyzed and understood after being viewed by a telescope on Earth. The reverse process could happen (with a telescope receiver in space) and would lead to extremely fast, multiple direction data communications in space to interconnect Earth to space and space to Earth. The ideal process would be to have a transmitter and receiver on the same satellite and to have a transmitter and receiver at each terrestrial base station to save space. This communications technology would work excellent to interconnect communications satellites in space at the speed of light. Data communications between satellites in space would be flawless in both transmitting and receiving modes. Problems could occur for information transmission to and from Earth. For instance: if there was cloud cover, the satellites and ground stations would have to route information to different locations for quality information transmission. The beam of light would not be seen by the naked eye on earth and would not produce light pollution. This mode of communications is faster than all current satellites that use radio frequencies to transmit signals which is much slower than the speed of light. This method of data transmission is faster than fiber optic networks on Earth that use relays and repeaters which slow data transmission times down and create latency. This technology was invented by Shampoo.
There is a fruitful idea that I have invented which is an Internet sperm bank auction where people can see a photograph of the sperm seller as well as a photograph or possibly even several photographs of the offspring from the sperm provider (if he has any offspring). The client could then select and place a bid on any available sperm from any specific seller to receive a child that will look similar to what the sperm provider looks like and what the female purchaser looks like. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have invented superior data compression that is vastly superior to any other data compression available on Earth. This data compression algorithm uses word or data set matching and backwards word or data set matching and much more: such as diagonal, forward and reverse word or data set matching - much like a crossword puzzle. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have invented a combined chess and checkers board. This board will allow the playing of both games within the same board. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have invented the concept of a multicast device (all information sent is the same for all people receiving it) that allows everyone on Earth with a receiving station to receive the same information digitally. The same information is downloaded to all receiving stations on a hard disk and then can be selectively viewed. Information could be the latest news that is available and could be viewed, reviewed or not viewed under a user-based selection system similar to the way you would view cnn.com on the internet. After a period of 1 hour, all news and information is updated on the device that is receiving the signal. This device would be democratically administrated so that people could vote on what they wanted to see most or least on these information receiving devices. Information on these devices could be music, video, images, text and would most likely be a combination of all of these. The receiving device would be comparatively like seeing the news on television while being able to replay it anywhere in the broadcast for up to 1 hour. You could read the latest sports scores, review the weather and much more. This device is controlled by the population that votes. It will be able to provide anything that people want to see or hear from it. This device provides the worlds highest freedom when it comes to broadcasting. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have proceeded to create a ISO standard (International standard) for resource dedicating on computers to switch operating systems with the press of a button using multi-threading busses to have the multiple operating systems simultaneously running on the same computer. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I also have invented a process for creating a rock inside of a computer, one that all of the people in the world could artificially engrave in a tombstone-style text whatever they wish. If built, this rock would enable all people on Earth to store one paragraph or more worth of information that would be permanently stored on the computer. The information stored would outlive the person whom engraved the rock because the rock would be of a 0.8 micron process with 500,000 transistors in the space of a 486 Central Processing Unit. A 486 Central Processing Unit actually has over 800,000 transistors. My design would be more reliable than a 486. Some people may think that a 0.8 micron process is too slow - this is incorrect if it is a 1024 bit or higher processor, then it could do more in increased volume than a smaller processor. The processor would last many hundreds of years and this is why the space shuttle uses similar technology - where failure is not an option. The information engraved in the rock which is purple and blue and marble-like and is black in some areas where the operating system blocks out information that a person may chose to remove from the rock. The information people place on the rock is permanent. Data is stored in the style of something similar to a Nintendo video game cartridge which is Read Only Memory (ROM) and will almost certainly last many lifetimes before failure. The rock is rectangular and information within it could be searched through or zoomed in and out of viewing range. The rock would cost based on the price of data storage media. For instance: an 80 GigaByte hard disk can hold 80 billion characters of information - this would give every single person on Earth approximately 13 characters of information on the rock for about $50 worth of failure prone storage like a personal computer hard disk. The design intentions are to make the rock outlast 10's of lifetimes before repair, to be redundant in all ways and last for eternity. The rock is for love letters, poems, eulogies and anything at all. This rock is free and will remain free and will never cost monetary values to use the contents of it or place information on it. Light from the fiber optic inter-connects would be magnified and sent to to solar panels and then that energy would be used to power the system. It would be electrically efficient. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have invented a Central Processing Unit design that allows failed components of the Central Processing Unit to be replaced without replacing the entire Central Processing Unit. The massive Central Processing Unit would be in a grid-like pattern and each failed quadrant of the grid could then be replaced with a new quadrant. The primary failure prone areas such as the Floating Point Unit and system Cache is designed to run on the outside of the core Central Processing Unit. Beneath the primary failure prone construction resides the backup infrastructure. Once a failure is detected the processing moves closer to the Central Processing Unit. What results is a faster computation during a failure. This schematic would allow many layers of redundancy with many higher levels where the highest level is the one that gets re-routed to a layer closer to the Central Processing Unit during a failure and then, if there was a subsequent failure, the level beneath it (which is closer to the core part of the Central Processing unit) is activated. Failed modules such as the Floating Point Unit and system Cache could be replaced while the system is running and then would be engaged to compute information. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have immense plans for creating artificially intelligent people within a large computer called a reality generator and I am currently within the study of intelligence. I can not afford the computer that is required to demonstrate all of the physics and reality that Earth has within a computer to create life within it. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
My invention of a reality generator would contain routable, addressable and combinable molecules and atoms. An example would be: any selection of Oxygen molecules could be combined into 3 molecules of Oxygen which would then produce Ozone. For instance: this system would allow the selection of a quadrant like a sphere of any size in any particular location within the reality generator and could then provide the capabilities to change the atomic or molecular structure within the selected region in the world that resides within the reality generator. Any atomic or molecular volume which could be air within this sphere could be changed into a ball of water or any other available atomic or molecular property that this reality generator will compute within the operating system. Inside of this artificial world, all molecules and atoms could be routed anywhere within the world inside of the reality generator by the system operator in real-time. I would allow all of the people living inside of this reality generator to have the power to to move molecules or atoms to their requirements, interests and to feel more comfort - such as routing warm air around a person that is feeling cold. Gravity or any portion of physics inside of this system could be controlled on a subatomic or submolecular grid-like system and on a level that could be continuously adjusted. This gravitational system could allow any portion of the artificial world(s) to have selected gravity, including zero gravity or the opposite of gravity at any place or altitude within the artificial world. My reality generator would be more superior than the reality produced on Earth. Most of the features of my reality generator are not available for citizens of Earth in the reality that we live amongst. Research has been made by myself with regards to how people see and how emotion alters senses and effects the central nervous system. I have done extensive research on how people become sentient and become amused. I am willing and able to emulate most if not all of the reality we are living within with little or no help to create living people within the massive reality generator I intend to build. I wish to perfect reality to the point so that it is full featured to an increased amount compared to Earth for the things living within the computer. The power subsystem would be similar to the rock inside of a computer. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have invented a sport that is called pick put. This sport is ideal for anyone to play. The object of the game is to throw a 10 pound weight with feet firmly not moving on the ground or thrown from behind a line. The method of the game is to throw the weight twice. Feet must be behind the approximate center of the weight where the weight lands after the first throw for the second throw to occur. The winner of the pick put game is the person with the longest distance thrown measured after the 2 throws. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I have invented a water control system that is usable in all water faucet applications, such as bathroom showers and in kitchen sinks. This system ensures that the water that exits the water tap is at the accurate temperature that you desire. This is accomplished by transferring all of the hot water that is remaining in the water pipe(s) after being used to be transferred to waste or sent back to the hot water heater, therefore allowing the hot water pipe(s) to stay chargeless of cool or cold water in the hot water line(s). Then, a computer controlled thermostat would mix cold and hot water to any degree variation to the exact temperature requirements of the user before the water exits the valve during the time before the valve is controlled to open via the computerized thermostats' calculation of proper temperature when the precise temperature has been achieved. If a person enters a shower and "dials in" 85 degrees of water temperature, then the water that is released onto the person would not be any degree cooler or warmer than 85 degrees. This eliminates cold shower entries which are uncomfortable. It also eliminates the need to set the shower dial for warm or hot water and then having to step outside of the shower for a moment to not get drizzled with unbearably cold water due to the hot water transmission lines not being charged with hot water with user selected temperature controlled water flow. The water that exits the water flow control system would be automatic disbursement via the use of a computer controlled servo. There would be no need to turn a handle or knob for the water to flow once it has reached the desired temperature. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
I found a law bug: The police say: Any information you provide can and WILL be used AGAINST you in the count of law. This is illegal to say. Against can mean incrimination information or it can mean supplementary information. For instance: To side with the defendant and to help him/her win a case in the count of law. If you are police and do not supply information to the defendant's benefit after stating you will provide information to be used with the defendant's case, then you have the right to remain silent and are then not providing the "AGAINST" information and must state so. -- Shampoo.
When I contacted the Canadian Security Intelligence Service Ottawa Region by telephone to disclose my inventions, it should be known that I was ignored and that I was considered ridiculous. I was disbelieved, and for lack of a better term I was "hung up on" via the phone by the Canadian Security Intelligence Service Ottawa Region for allowing them to hear my inventions. In fact, they only partially heard about 1 of my inventions (the laser network) before communications was disengaged with me by the Canadian Security Intelligence Service Ottawa Region toll free number.
I wish to receive a written apology from the Canadian Security Intelligence service and I would like to know about the disciplinary action that took place for the people involved in the conversation with me as well as their management, due to the conversation with me and the Canadian Security Intelligence Service that took place on January 10th 2003: after 6:00 PM and before 7:15 PM
Everything that I have invented is just in thought and is not produced for lack of money. These inventions are property of myself and are to be patented, copyrighted and trademarked under my name: Shampoo.
Man, my eye hurts. I'm seeing weird spots now.
either I'm going blind, or the layout is evil (Most likely both)
Hello. I am Shampoo, and it appears that you've violated copyright of my very important inventions. Please contact my lawyer to find out how many millions you will have to pay.
Sorry, things went fuzzy and I blacked out while reading the second item. Did anyone with more stamina actually make it through?
CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
Announcing a competition for Slashdot's disagree email feature! Submit stuff that is actually interesting so we can actually have something good to read. It doesn't have to be true, it jsut has to get selected.
Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
is that you???
have you seen my sig? there are many others like it but none that are the same
Seriously, Shampoo totally rocks. He's even better than that guy... I forget his name, Alex Choi or something?
Complete win.
Web2.0: I love when people Flickr my cuil and digg my boingboing until my google is reddit and I start to yahoo
That is my stapler. It is a swingline stapler. I used to look out the windows at the squirrels and now I don't have a window so I can't see the squirrels.
--I like turtles...
When the aliens (any brand) come, we can simply offer them this individual. This will keep them busy for quite a while, and maybe they'll forget to invade. Meanwhile, Shampoo should work as a patent examiner. Most new patent applications will simply be met with "I already invented that."
If you search on "invented by shampoo" you will find he did not limit his spam-love to slashdot.
When I contacted the Canadian Security Intelligence Service Ottawa Region by telephone to disclose my inventions, it should be known that I was ignored and that I was considered ridiculous.
OMG why would someone do that????
Any life is made up of a single moment, the moment in which a man finds out, once and for all, who he is.
Wut?
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
http://groups.google.com/groups/search?safe=off&q=m.c.+shampoo&sitesearch=
there is MASSIVE amounts of the dribble there.
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
I have invented a new method of transportation which will be of unbelievably great use to the peoples of the world. It is similar to a motorcycle in that it has two wheels but instead of being powered by a gasoline engine, it is powered by the person riding it. The power from the person's lower limbs -- I call them 'legs' -- is transmitted to the wheel via a shaft- or chain-like device fitted to flat, slab-like actuators which would extend to the sides of the device. The person would then press against the actuators with the ends of their 'legs' in an alternating fashion thus propelling both themselves and the device. It would also have two wheels and method of steering although I have not yet worked out the method or what color the wheels will be. This idea was invented by Thered.
If your only tool is a hammer, every problem becomes a nail.
The first story is funny, but the second amounts to making fun of obviously mentally deficient people.
It would be nice if this column did not continue to degrade in this fashion.
I humbly suggest www.halfbakery.com
Way to apply the first writer's standards against him.
If he's so pro-censorship, he should have seen your spam folder coming. :)
I think he also invented this game where you lay a mat on the ground and it has 'conclusions' all over it and you jump from on to another. He called it ...
Shampoo did not invent some type of soap exclusively for the hair?
*DrugCheese rants*
I have invented a method of perceiving the universe and understanding much of what is in it. Details are here: http://www.timecube.com/
If your only tool is a hammer, every problem becomes a nail.
I have invented a combined chess and checkers board. This board will allow the playing of both games within the same board. This idea was invented by Shampoo.
OMG, that's brilliant. Using the same board for chess AND checkers! Shampoo for president!
alias possession='chmod 666 satan && ls
His claims are a sham, and definitely mostly poo.
Maybe all it needs is another category for modding: "LAWYER" and some configuration option in order to "do not show lawyers".
"This points to a very disgusting image please remove it. ***********"
Where was this guy in 1999?
Alex, I'll take keybindings not used by Emacs for $400....
Shampoo is a mad genius who can save the world. I think that the Shampoo phenonmenon can take the world like "All your base..." on crack. I have invented t-shirts that have LED displays that spout random 'inventions' from a random text generator at random intervals. At the bottom of the shirt in bold glitterly lettering will be the words, "This idea was invented by Shampoo." This idea was (not) invented by Shampoo.
"Knock the stones together, guys!"
In previous editions of Disagree Mail, several people commented on the fact that the offerings were too short and too few. I didn't comment, but I shared the sentiment.
Serves us right.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool. -Richard Feynman
Obviously this Sham-
poo' person has been
around for close to a
thousand years.
Checkers moved onto
the 8x8 chess board
around 1100AD in or
around southern France.
I think Shampoo may
have done the style
sheet for Idle.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Really, really uninteresting.Try some mental floss.
"[Laser] This mode of communications is faster than all current satellites that use radio frequencies to transmit signals which is much slower than the speed of light."
I must have confused radio waves with electromagnetic radiation.
I'll put Shampoo's ideas to use as soon as I figure out how to connect them to the CIA devices in my fillings.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
I've run into fucktards like these, they think if they report every little bad thing to all the admins, and try to force the admins to take action against those they dont like, they'll not only be the pet, but they'll feel that they have power by proxy. You run into these little assholes on online games a lot too, who report people for EVERYTHING, even making things up just to get people banned who said something they didnt like, or to keep the daily quota of bans going. You see this on MMORPGs a lot. Little napoleons who think that the game they're playing belongs to them, and that they are the ones in control of it. If the game permits it, they'll make their appearance of some supreme, all powerful fictional character too. What's hilarious is when they try to push their moral ideals onto private servers, especially the type that generally don't care if you call someone choice words and mess with them. The admins come in and partake in the harassment of the little kiss ass, usually causing them to leave, or in some extreme cases, wage a little bitchfest flamewar against the admins, and threaten to "take control and get everyone to mutiny". It happened to me once, when someone was trying to get me to enforce rules on a forum I had NO control over, nor knew existed. Also talked to me about crap I had no idea about, as if I knew certain people. I told him to go away, and for the next five months, he kept evading bans, sending long-winded, 10-20 page emails (print previewed them, holy shit!) about how he will have the "last laugh" and have me removed from power and give him what rightfully belongs to him, etc. It was amusing as it was annoying at the same time.
Then you have the naive ones who really think they're helping make the internet a better place by reporting everyone for everything, and don't seem the grasp the concept of filtering, or newbies who don't know or understand the rules. I had a friend once who did that, I still think they do it too. They go on a report frenzy on a site where all that stuff is allowed, and don't quite understand that the people in charge don't care. My explanation of this is why we are no longer friends :)
What's sad is these people are so stuck to their "morals" of being the teacher's pet, and reporting and trying to control everyone's thoughts, is that they are blind to everything around them, and don't see that most admins and mods do not give two shits about the "problem" and have bigger issues to control, like GNAA spam or some other troll group.
Also, the chances of some little crybaby hugbox dwelling asspie reporting this post now is 100%
Some random text here to fool the silly filters...
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
I haven't been on /. lately and am very amused by this. Maybe more people are amused than disgusted, and like all vocal groups, you are actually in a minority.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, though I'm not yet sure about the universe. - A Einstein
Man, I wish I could do drugs all day and come up with this cool sh*t. Oh wait, I did that already.... Anyone can have an idea. It is the DOERS that matter. Your ideas are entertaining, Now maybe someone can make some money by actually doing something with them... yeah right... the entertainment value is about all the value they are ever going to have.
This guy should team up with the Time Cube person. Then they'd rule the earth with their infinite knowledge and (invented) ideas. I wonder if Shampoo already "invented" this idea.
There is no sig.
Always relevant.
I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
First saw this on Usenet, quite a while ago.
Ah, Usenet. Home of whackadoodles extraordinaire.
deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
"...I was disbelieved, and for lack of a better term I was "hung up on" via the phone..."
I invented Shampoo.
Oh, absofuckinglutely (I just got reported) I enjoy this. As my work week winds down on Friday afternoon, I read this thread to help me hold back the tears of sorrow I feel as I realize I won't be able to work for the next two whole days! Without disagree mail, I don't think I could make it through these tough and trying fucking times. (Damn, just got reported... again, and again... fuck... again!!)
Support NYCountryLawyer RIAA vs People
Hi, wondermike! I'm shampoo, and I'm the captain of the gravy train!
Yeah, unlike us, I'll bet CmdrTaco has page-view counts to rely on....
Ibid.
There is a fruitful idea that I have invented which is a way people can see a the sperm donor as well as obtain the sperm directly from him. The client could then select and solicit a donation from any available sperm donor. The resulting child will look similar to what the sperm donor looks like and what the female purchaser looks like. This idea was invented by God.
Shampoo, I find you are in violation of my intellectual property and demand that you be divested of the proceeds you have unlawfully obtained from it's usage. Report to the nearest place of worship to be stripped of your ill gotten gains (i.e. your life).
- God
"The laser is powerful enough to destroy every city on the planet at will. We'll turn the moon into what I like to call a 'Death Star'. Since my 'death star' laser was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist, Dr. Parsons. I thought we'd name it in his honor the Alan Parsons Project."
tl;dr
Anyway, once they are done with him, we won't have wonder what they are here for. It will be one thing. Revenge.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
After losing his testicles in one of his trademark 'thought inventions' gone horribly wrong, Mr Shampoo retired from inventing to become technical advisor for the Discovery Channel's 'Storm Chasers'.
Sham Poo. Both of which are applicable to his emails.
My eyes started hurting almost halfway through so i had my borwser read the text to me. Shampoo was even funnier being read in a in a creepy monotone-like voice. I use the Opera web browser
This stuff from M.C. Shampoo fails for the Turing test.
A glitch a day keeps the bugs away.
I thought that was already patented by South-Park... looks like whatever money Shampoo launders out from others is going to go down the drain to the cartoonists...
Hey I know who this guys is. . . Isn't he a writer for the TV show "Big Bang Theory"? (before I get a bunch of hate mail; I am completely kidding)
what a great idea
Ok, so this would be why I don't give conspiracy theorists hallucinogenic substances and turn them loose on keyboards with bad science fiction flicks running on different screens all around their heads... although seeing if you could produce a similar affect by doing so WOULD be both an interesting study and the first good use for conspiracy theorists. This idea was created by someone smarter than his hair care products.
Never disregard the raw power inherent to stupidity... they call it "dumb luck" for a reason...
How is it he can smoke a bush a day and still type?