Phoenix Mars Lander Declared Dead
SpuriousLogic sends in a sad note from the BBC: "NASA says its Phoenix lander on the surface of Mars has gone silent and is almost certainly dead. Engineers have not heard from the craft since Sunday 2 November when it made a brief communication with Earth. Phoenix, which landed on the planet's northern plains in May, had been struggling in the increasing cold and dark of an advancing winter. The US space agency says it will continue to try to contact the craft but does not expect to hear from it."
It will soon spring forth from the fiery planet to destroy us all! RISE PHOENIX!!! RISE!
Opportunity: You hear about that new guy, Phoenix?
Spirit: Yeah, water ice...wonder what he'll find next.
Op: The dude's dead, yo!
Sp: What? He's only been here 5 months!
Op: I know. Lightweight. Gave some whiney excuse about 'only 3 months'.
Sp: What a wuss. I've been running on half power and 5 wheels most of this damn mission! I guess they don't make 'em like they used to.
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...you know what a Phoenix does when it dies, right?
rj
Tried to pour some carbon dioxide on the curb for all my dead homies...didn't really work out.
He's dead, Jim.
VICTORY!
The most Illustrious Council of Elders has declared tomorrow a planetary day of celebration. K'breel, Speaker for the Council, spake thus:
(A small group of dissidents in the Press Corps reminded the Speaker that the Invader on the Plains had begun to stir, and that The Twin at the Crater was rapidly advancing to the southeast after having made an obscene gesture. They were about to inquire as to what progress had been made over the past two and a half years against these threats, but K'Breel had already torn the antenna shaft from the Arctic Invader's lifeless hulk and made a shishkebab of their gelsacs before their question could be been fully heard.)
It was named Phoenix as the mission was originally scrapped after the polar lander crash. When they revived the project they renamed it Phoenix. It's also unlikely that it will be revived in the next martian summer. The reason being that where the rover is, it will be cold enough for the solar cells and other components to be destroyed.
In the 23rd century, it will be known as an entity named "P'NIX" whose new role is to return to Earth to unite with its Creator.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, START
Beagle 2: Wazzup!
liqbase