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Dogs To Sniff Out Smokers

The Lower Manhattan Development Corporation has turned to "tobacco detection canine" teams to sniff out workers sneaking away for a smoke. Careless smoking by workers inside the former Deutsche Bank building is blamed for the Aug. 18, 2007, fire that killed two firefighters. "This is just one part of the project team's multifaceted approach to ensuring that all site regulations are strictly followed and enforced," said LMDC spokesman Mike Murphy.

136 comments

  1. So they sniff out tobacco... by 77Punker · · Score: 1

    ...but do they sniff out cannabis?

    1. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by CRCulver · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I'm sure the point is that you shouldn't be igniting any plant substances in these places as per the fire code. This is my first comment on an Idle post. Idle's layout sucks.

    2. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      So chemical crystallized substances should be fine?

    3. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by 77Punker · · Score: 1

      Yeah, I don't know what the point of that comment was other than to get an easy first.

    4. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by 77Punker · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I suppose you're talking about meth, which is not flamed directly but is vaporized by hot glass, AFAIK, so the fire risk isn't the same as smoldering ashes from a cigarette (or joint). Of course, if one of your employees is a meth user, you may have a whole other set of problems to deal with.

    5. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      How about smoking weed with a vaporizer, would that pass the fire codes? :)

    6. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There goes the company BBQ in the staff lounge. :(

    7. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Narcocide · · Score: 1

      YES! Try sneaking one of those into your cubicle though...

    8. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by dgatwood · · Score: 1

      Not to mention the open fire pit in the back room to keep warm when the HVAC folks forget to switch from A/C to heat....

      --

      Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

    9. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by ProppaT · · Score: 2, Informative

      It runs deeper than that. Many large corporations have agreements with health insurance providers that state that no one is allowed to smoke on their premises, forcing workers to leave work to smoke. This might not sound like a big deal to most of us, but many of the large corporations that have bought into this (Lockheed Martin, for instance) have property that dwarfs large college campuses. Basically, you have to drive off property just to sneak a smoke and means you'll probably be away from your desk for 20-30 minutes instead of the normal 5-10 "quick shtang" that people take on fire escapes, outside the front door, etc. It helps the corporation cut costs and it's seen as a positive to everyone besides the smokers themselves.

      --
      Wise men say, "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
    10. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Kral_Blbec · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Sooooo, quit smoking...

    11. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by master5o1 · · Score: 1

      As long as you don't vaporize your boss.

      --
      signature is pants
    12. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by jonaskoelker · · Score: 1

      I'm sure the point is that you shouldn't be igniting any plant substances in these places as per the fire code.

      If fire safety depends on people not smoking, perhaps they shouldn't run around singing "I built this house of straw"...

    13. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So in other words you fully endorse Cocaine as the only acceptable workplace drug?

    14. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by fractoid · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'm sure you'd be just as glib if it were your pet addiction (whatever that may be) under fire? Just to be clear, I don't smoke, never have, never will. But I feel so sorry for people who have to run off and stand around the corner to smoke at office BBQs and soforth.

      Then again, I guess I can't indulge my vice at ALL while I'm at work. ("Just going out back for a shot of rum" is frowned on for some reason ;) so here's to workplace equality! :P

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
    15. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      The fire code may or may not actually prohibit such an activity - in California at least, it certainly does not. Only CAL-OSHA laws (IIRC) prohibit smoking inside of a workplace building. Incidentally, any commercial building which can be destroyed by failing to extinguish your cigarette is horribly misdesigned. They DO make fire-retardant carpets etc. Of course, I hate to even enter such a building any more, because practically every major fire retardant we use today is carcinogenic...

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    16. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by plague3106 · · Score: 2

      Well, you downing a shot of rum doesn't cause direct adverse health affects in those around you. Smoke all you want in private homes or in you car (with the windows up).. but otherwise, you're around others that don't want to inhale extra toxins.

    17. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by mcgrew · · Score: 1

      Cigarettes have rings of saltpeter (an oxidant) on the paper to promote even burning and to keep them from going out. Zig Zags and other pot papers don't have the saltpeter rings, so they "run" and go out.

      Not only is a potsmoker's chances of not getting cancer far better than a cigaterre smoker's, his chances of not burning up in a fire are better, too.

      They should either legalize pot (which is non-addictive) or outlaw tobacco (perhaps the most addictive substance on earth).

      What dimwitted fucktards write these stupid laws, anyway?

    18. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by mcgrew · · Score: 1

      As someone who did just that, all I have to say is god but you're an idiot. Giving up butts was the hardest thing I've done in my life. You might as well tell a heroin addict to "just stop shooting up"; tobacco is more addictive then heroin, crack, or any other drug. It is also the deadliest of all drugs; if it was easy to quit nobody would smoke.

      "Just stop smoking" indeed. Educate yourself before making such asinine remarks.

    19. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So in other words you fully endorse Cocaine as the only acceptable workplace drug?

      That's management's call. If they won't allow anything else, coke is fine by me. Generally I prefer lower-level shit, but you do what gets you through the night.

    20. Re:So they sniff out tobacco... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sooooo, quit smoking...

      Sooooo, take a six-digit number and join the line waiting to kiss my ass, you smug, pantywaisted, bedwetting, fascist son of a bitch.

      Supercilious buttfucks like you should just quit breathing.

  2. Shampoo by Wiarumas · · Score: 4, Funny

    This idea was invented by Shampoo.

    --
    I will bend like a reed in the wind.
    1. Re:Shampoo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, shampoo is invented by Idea.

    2. Re:Shampoo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This idea was invented by Shampoo.

      explain?

    3. Re:Shampoo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's something you bathe with.

    4. Re:Shampoo by daybot · · Score: 3, Informative
    5. Re:Shampoo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't get it

    6. Re:Shampoo by daybot · · Score: 1

      FWIW , if you have to include an instruction book with your joke. its NOT FUNNY

      Sorry. Here's the missing instruction book.

      1) Read the idle story I linked to.
      2) ???
      3) Profit!

    7. Re:Shampoo by daybot · · Score: 1

      Oh and by the way:

      This is fucking slashdot , you expect people to work to understand your jokes.

      Not really, and I didn't post the joke, but many Slashdot jokes do expect that you read Slashdot occasionally.

      fucking idiot.

      Bad day?

  3. dogs? by butterflysrage · · Score: 4, Informative

    since when do we need dogs to do this? smokers smell like, well, smoke, I've yet to meet a smoker who was able to surprise me with that fact, I could tell just from the smell of their clothes, their hair, everything around them.

    --
    the preceding post was not spell checked... suck it.
    1. Re:dogs? by retchdog · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Yes, of course it's obvious. But if it's a human doing the detection, charges of bias can (and would) come up. The dog gives it a veneer of objectivity, and much easier and cheaper than an ion mobility spectrometer.

      --
      "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
    2. Re:dogs? by JustOK · · Score: 2, Funny

      unless they "victim" is a cat person

      --
      rewriting history since 2109
    3. Re:dogs? by Eudial · · Score: 1

      How would you know if someone successfully hid their smoking? While indoors chain smoking is hard to hide, a stick of gum and a hand wash goes a long way for the casual smoker.

      --
      GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
    4. Re:dogs? by tomhudson · · Score: 2, Insightful

      How would you know if someone successfully hid their smoking? While indoors chain smoking is hard to hide, a stick of gum and a hand wash goes a long way for the casual smoker.

      Not to a non-smoker who doesn't live or work with smokers, it doesn't.

      Your lungs will still smell, even with the gum. Also, are you going to shampoo your hair? Send your clothes out to be cleaned?

    5. Re:dogs? by anotherdjohnson · · Score: 1

      Just curious, do you often walk around sniffing peoples clothes and hair?

    6. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      It wouldn't be a Friday night otherwise.

    7. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I can smell a smoker 20 feet away an hour after they smoked. Some people have unfortunately very sensitive noses.

    8. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      As a non-smoker with a good sense of smell I'd have to disagree, at least partially.

      I have several co-workers who smoke and if one of them has been outside smoking with a jacket that covers his/her sweater/shirt and then washes his/her hands, chews some gum and takes the jacket off I can still smell the tobacco, but only if I'm right next to him/her. If said co-worker is 4-5 feet away then I can't smell the tobacco any more than I can smell the odor of warm toner from the printer in the room next to my office. Maybe if I really try to notice it, but if I'm not trying to be annoyed by the smell then I won't notice it.

      Also, whenever someone in the office decides to start bringing oranges to work as their snack every day for a week I actually catch myself wishing it was still legal to smoke in office buildings, just to cover that horrible stench of oranges that can't be sensed a good four offices away...

    9. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      i use gloves - it works quite well yes you can smell it on my breath but not after 30min or so

    10. Re:dogs? by v1 · · Score: 1

      I don't have a particular problem identifying someone that's just come in from a smoke break, they usually reek really bad, (clothes, and especially breath) but given 5 minutes, both usually settle down to about the noise level of my nose.

      Though if you have a bit of clothing that you don't wash regularly, like say a fall jacket, or have long hair, that can hold the odor for quite awhile.

      HOUSES of smokers though, can be REALLY bad. IMHO there ought to be a law against smoking in your house when you have a kid. That's what I really hated as a kid, being confined in a house with two smokers. Thankful they weren't chain smokers.

      --
      I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
    11. Re:dogs? by drsmithy · · Score: 4, Informative

      How would you know if someone successfully hid their smoking? While indoors chain smoking is hard to hide, a stick of gum and a hand wash goes a long way for the casual smoker.

      No. No, it doesn't.

    12. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You've obviously never met my beagle.

      I have a lot of African and Indian friends, they all have relatively to very dark skin. Whenever any of them drops by to visit, I have to lock my beagle up like Hannibal Lecter because she freaking HATES dark-skinned humans. I'd wager to say that she's barking racial slurs in Beagle it's so bad.

      She would definitely be accused of bias.

    13. Re:dogs? by v1 · · Score: 1

      sorry to hear you don't like the odor of an orange. I think OJ is ok but I don't like eating the rind, and I like the smell. I also recall reading somewhere a long time ago that an orange's smell (like squeezed OJ) can be detected after an incredible amount of diluting. (sorry can't find a reference) Shame on your bad luck.

      --
      I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
    14. Re:dogs? by v1 · · Score: 2

      what's annoying is going into a bar loaded with smokers for a little while with some non smoking friends. You leave, and can continue to smell the stench on each other's clothes for quite awhile.

      If you find you have to plant your nose in someone's jacket to tell if they've been smoking recently, either you're a smoker, or you're around them too much and it's dulling your sense of smell.

      People come in and out of the door behind me all day long, and I can tell when someone just put out before stepping in. And I mean our door. The outer door is way back there so it's not just sweeping in with them. I don't even face the door and I'm 10ft from it. Sometimes it takes a good 30 sec to make it to me after they've walked by. Smokers have no idea the "aura" they project around them after having smoked a cigarette.

      --
      I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
    15. Re:dogs? by MarcQuadra · · Score: 1

      Most people are surprised to find that I smoke. I guess sneaking out once or twice during a nine hour day isn't much, but I'm still a smoker. Most coworkers don't know that when I go up to get a coffee, I'm going out to have a smoke on the way back.

      Last week my aunt and uncle, who I lived (as a smoker) next door to for five years and see every weekend 'found out' that I smoked.

      Also, I have a tendency to brush my teeth and wash my hands after I smoke, that probably helps. And I never smoke inside, because that makes your clothes/pets/house smell.

      --
      "Sometimes, I think Trent just needs a cup of hot chocolate and a blankie." -Tori Amos on Nine Inch Nails
    16. Re:dogs? by BluBrick · · Score: 1

      30 minutes or so? If you're anything like the kind of smoker I was, that'd only leave you about 15 minutes before you'd need to go and stink yourself up again!

      --
      Ahh - My eye!
      The doctor said I'm not supposed to get Slashdot in it!
    17. Re:dogs? by tomhudson · · Score: 1

      Dogs sense of smell is about what, 1,000 times or more acute than humans? I had one who could find a piece of frozen bread thrown out for the birds the night before, under a foot of freshly fallen snow. Picking out someone who's smoked in the last DAY would be a lot easier.

    18. Re:dogs? by Propaganda13 · · Score: 1

      OK, so the dogs can tell who smoked. What does that get them? The "article" is very lacking.

      *Bark, bark, bark*
      Hey, you smoked.
      Um yeah, at lunch off company propery, off company time.

      Or is this more a roving patrol dog?
      Will it constantly bark at crushed cigarettes that people throw in trashcans to taunt the dog?

    19. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I really do have an *extremely* sensitive sense of smell (I used to be able to tell when a woman had her period from across the room). That's why I started smoking - to dull that sense of smell. I had to do something to keep from passing out from having to breathe around idiots who apparently bathed in cologne, perfume, and after shave. Natural smells like smoke or even horse shit are no problem for me. Harsh chemical smells like those in perfumes almost kill me. So there. I can't stay in a room full of people who give no thought as to how much they stick like chemicals.

    20. Re:dogs? by Dun+Malg · · Score: 1

      I actually catch myself wishing it was still legal to smoke in office buildings, just to cover that horrible stench of oranges that can't be sensed a good four offices away...

      I reckon everyone has a particular office stench they hate. Personally, I wish microwave popcorn was fucking illegal. The smell of that disgusting shit hangs around for HOURS.

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    21. Re:dogs? by Dun+Malg · · Score: 1

      30 minutes or so? If you're anything like the kind of smoker I was, that'd only leave you about 15 minutes before you'd need to go and stink yourself up again!

      Psh. Back when I smoked, That 30 minutes would be long enough for me to have already smoked 1 or 2 more cigarettes.

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    22. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Will it constantly bark at crushed cigarettes that people throw in trashcans to taunt the dog?"

      Exactly!

      Our small town brought in a police dog that was trained to pick out marijuana smokers and the cop n' dog show got a lot of otherwise "innocent" folks in trouble (Mostly minorities and young people).

      So every night I started dumping my used bong water every place around town that I'd see them hanging out at.

      Within three weeks, the dog was gone, never to return.

    23. Re:dogs? by raju1kabir · · Score: 1

      No need. I have friends who've tried to quit, and it's been very easy to tell from a few feet away when they were recently "cheating". The odor is a lot stronger and more persistent than you seem to think it is.

      --
      "Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." -- GBS
    24. Re:dogs? by anotherdjohnson · · Score: 1

      I guess I forgot the put the smiley at the end. This was meant as a joke... honest. :p

    25. Re:dogs? by Hillview · · Score: 1

      Because we can smell smoke. Dogs can smell tobacco. Through the smoke.

      --
      -Troll, Flamebait, and Offtopic are NOT equivalent to disagreement.
    26. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But if it's a human doing the detection, charges of bias can (and would) come up. The dog gives it a veneer of objectivity,....

      Veneer is right. Remember the old story of Hans, the counting horse. They gave him simple addition/subtraction problems on cards. Hans would tap out the answer with his foot. It turned out he could only perform if his trainer was present, because he was getting very subtle cues from the trainer which told him how many times to tap.

      Same as in dressage riding where the rider gives imperceptible commands to the horse by weight shifts and leg/reins pressure.

      It wouldn't be very hard to train a dog to alert on any given person by small twists or pulls on the leash or maybe something as simple as a change of breathing pattern.

      Once "the dog" has singled out someone, it's a simple matter for "evidence" to be planted as required.

    27. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you're smelling my lungs, you might be a bit close in, eh? FWIW, I'm a light smoker but I don't smoke at work. I don't really hide it, but most days I don't feel the need to smoke. When I do tell people that I smoke they seem surprised unless they've seen me doing it outside of work. So unless they're just being nice I would say that you can't always tell.

      Even I, as a smoker, can tell when someone comes in from a smoke break, but the smell tends to fade very quickly (5min) to where I'd actually have to sniff someone's clothes directly to notice it.

    28. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Though if you have a bit of clothing that you don't wash regularly, like say a fall jacket, or have long hair, that can hold the odor for quite awhile.

      I know a lady who smoked, whose boyfriend wouldn't go to bed with her unless she washed her hair.

      His loss.

      Great caaptcha -- intimacy.

    29. Re:dogs? by Malevolent+Tester · · Score: 1

      I heard Obama's looking for a dog...

      --
      If you haven't made a developer cry, you've wasted a day.
    30. Re:dogs? by tomhudson · · Score: 1

      If you're smelling my lungs, you might be a bit close in, eh?

      Some of us are hypersensitive and/or allergic to tobacco smoke. I can't stand it - it out and out stinks. Ditto for weed. At one place I worked, a coworker came in, and from 10 feet away, I said "You've been having a little 'fun time'." "That was hours ago. You should work for the RCMP as a sniffer dog."

      It stinks. It reeks, even at very low levels. When I walk my dogs, I notice it outdoors. Last night is a good example - I smelled the stink of a cigarette, turned the corner, and sure enough, there was someone sitting outside, several hundred feet away, smoking.

    31. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ugh. I'm in the same situation nose-wise (but I'm not going to start smoking to dull it). I can tell when the guy a few cubes away from me is having a hemorrhoid flare up, 'cause I can smell the Gold Bond on him when he's on his coming back from the mens room.

      Seriously too much information when you can smell that much.

      My two least favorite smells are currently Axe body spray, and public restroom hand soap.

      Cigarette smoke smells like harsh chemicals to me. It has a hint of ammonia, and some other nastiness... Can't understand how anybody can willfully inhale that.

    32. Re:dogs? by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      Meh. I'm a smoker. (Coincidentally, I also have a very strong sense of smell which is only blunted by smoking right after having had a cigarette - I will often/usually be able to smell things others can't.)

      I have 'surprised' quite a few people in a work environment when they have found out I smoke. Most people can not tell if a person is a smoker.

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    33. Re:dogs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ... or you're around them too much and it's dulling your sense of smell.

      Pulled that one out of your ass, didn't you? So you're some sort of sensitive, genteel esthete, right?

      "Dulled" indeed. So inferior to your superb (look up what it really means), ineffable self.

      ... I can tell when someone just put out before stepping in.

      What's it like working with a bunch of whores?

  4. Will it hold up in court? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Really Lassie? Bobby was smoking by the water cooler? And he put out his cigarette the wrong way?"

  5. Eh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I can smell a smoker by just walking by them. Why do we need dogs for this?

    1. Re:Eh? by tomhudson · · Score: 1

      Maybe because dogs can also be trained to detect cancer earlier by the smell. Kill 2 birds with one stone: "The dog says you're still smoking, and btw, you probably have cancer. You might want to get that checked."

  6. I can imagine where this goes by CityZen · · Score: 2, Interesting

    My company offers a small "discount" on the health plan for non-smokers (yes, it's really a tax for smokers).

    I thought this story would be about a company using dogs to sniff out people who said they are non-smokers but still smoke.

    1. Re:I can imagine where this goes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's not uncommon for health insurance companies to charge more for smokers, they're a greater liability. Smoking for years causes all sorts of health problems that they have to shell out for.

    2. Re:I can imagine where this goes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My company offers a small "discount" on the health plan for non-smokers (yes, it's really a tax for smokers).

      I thought this story would be about a company using dogs to sniff out people who said they are non-smokers but still smoke.

      When I applied for life insurance, they swabbed the inside of my mouth to determine whether I had smoked tobacco in the last 90 days. They don't need dogs.

  7. Dogs sniff the smokers,however... by Maxhrk · · Score: 0

    League of the Dogs sue the smoking companies.

    More on news 11.

  8. Oppressive by nurb432 · · Score: 0

    Time to find another job ( and this is coming from a non-smoker )

    --
    ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    1. Re:Oppressive by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      Actually, time for the employer to just can smokers... It's fiscally justifiable. Smokers cost companies more in resources - sick days, insurance benefits, etc...

      And yes, I do think it would be appropriate and *fair* to all the non-smokers who don't get 15 breaks per day like the smokers who walk outside the building, down the block to a non-corporate patch of lawn/sidewalk to light-up.

    2. Re:Oppressive by ChefInnocent · · Score: 1

      The summary says the smoking was done inside an employers building. If you consider an employer trying to make a building safer for the other occupants oppressive, then you may have difficulties finding an employer who isn't such a tyrrant.

    3. Re:Oppressive by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I suppose the oppression of sharing a building with a tobacco-seeking code-enforcement dog is much preferable to the alternative sort of 'oppression'. Does Slashdot not have enough insight into the minds of morons? Perhaps I stare into bottomless pit...

    4. Re:Oppressive by nurb432 · · Score: 0

      Its not the non smoking rule that i think is unreasonable and oppressive, its sending out dogs that is.

      The proper thing would be to stick a camera out in the break area.

      --
      ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    5. Re:Oppressive by nurb432 · · Score: 1

      However they would get hit with a discrimination suit if they advertised smoking as the reason for the terminations. Remember, its a legal act.

      --
      ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    6. Re:Oppressive by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Or unionize and then demand proper smoking places were workers can smoke their lungs out. And this comes from a non smoker too.

    7. Re:Oppressive by raju1kabir · · Score: 2, Informative

      However they would get hit with a discrimination suit if they advertised smoking as the reason for the terminations. Remember, its a legal act.

      Smokers are not a protected class; everyone is free to discriminate against them.

      Wearing orange spiked hair is also legal, and you can easily get fired from many jobs for that.

      --
      "Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." -- GBS
  9. Creates another problem. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The dogs will become addicted to nicotine after sniffing so many smokers. Who is going to watch the dogs to make sure they put out their cigarettes properly?

    1. Re:Creates another problem. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Furthermore, who can we trust to sniff out the smoking dogs once the dogs can no longer be trusted?

  10. Imagine all the sentries by popsensation · · Score: 1

    Do we really need to waste time making a new law or policy every time someone gets hurt? I'm keeping my eyes peeled for toothpaste and mouthwash detection rats sentries staring me down in the airport security line. Why not thrown in a obese person detecting civic patrol eagle that takes fast food bags away as well, What would happen if I smoked a cigarette and came into the building to have a meeting. Would I get flattened by lassie?

  11. Escape from New York by Plugh · · Score: 1

    Crap like this is just one more reason for people to get the hell out of that totalitarian state while they still can. Join the freedom-fighters in New Hampshire!

    1. Re:Escape from New York by ushering05401 · · Score: 1

      The second vermont republic is another option. 05401 in the house.

    2. Re:Escape from New York by Plugh · · Score: 1

      Yes, you're right... Vermont is an EXCELLENT option for New Yorkers who want to move someplace with the level of "government services" to which they are accustomed (aka taxes and bureaucracy).

      New Hampshire is not really a good choice unless you want SMALLER government.

  12. McGruff the Crime Dog by PrimalChrome · · Score: 1

    Taking a bite outta crime!!

  13. Lunch by Sun.Jedi · · Score: 1

    I smoke on the way into work, at lunch, and during an afternoon walk.

    What happens if you get sniffed out after smoking off company property and just reek on Deutsche Bank property?

    1. Re:Lunch by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You're going in the dog house buddy.

    2. Re:Lunch by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What happens if you get sniffed out after smoking off company property and just reek on Deutsche Bank property?

      Maybe more to the point, what if your favorite lunch place has a lot of smokers?

      I have a friend whose car and house have a heavy smoke scent. I can smell smoke on my clothes for hours after being in either, even for a short time.

      So, does your boss think he has authority to select your allowable lunch venues?

      Heh, captcha = collared

  14. Who checks on the dogs? by jskora · · Score: 1

    To make sure they're not smokers themselves? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyWAFWOQbWw And if they are, couldn't you buy them of with a pack a week not to rat you out?

  15. it's only a matter of time... by sneakyimp · · Score: 1

    This will no doubt lead to the use of dogs to determine whether people are smokers when they establish a health insurance policy.

    1. Re:it's only a matter of time... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This will no doubt lead to the use of dogs to determine whether people are smokers when they establish a health insurance policy.

      Since they're not allowed (at least in the US) to ask questions about your health status pre-employment, expect to see HR interviewers keeping quiet little "pet" dogs in their offices.

      Of course there are some loopholes which, I believe, can make an employment offer contingent on a post-offer medical exam.

      Remember, any HR manager who can't find a legally justifiable reason to disqualify any arbitrarily-chosen candidate simply doesn't understand his job.

      I was treated to a view of this just the other night while watching a program on PBS about job hunting in the current economy. It seems the latest swine elbowing their way to the federal trough of plenty are employers. They want government compensation for the time taken off by service members

      One guy said he simply will not hire anyone in the national guard or in any reserve units. He said, "If I have three applicants for a job and one says he's in reserves, then I'm down to two applicants." The interviewer said, "Isn't that illegal?" The employer said, "That's not a hard problem to avoid."

      This kind of crap has been going on at some level for ages. In 1966, I entered a six-months-active, six-years-reserve program. At the end of the active duty part, I was guaranteed by federal law of reinstatement in my prior position with no loss of pay rate or seniority. I was only vaguely aware of the detailed provisions.

      As it was a union position, everything was based on seniority. A pregnant woman coming back from her leave was similarly entitled to her prior job. If it were not available (i.e. had been abolished), she was to be given a list of all jobs which had become available since the beginning of her leave, from which she could choose any job taken by someone of lesser seniority, with her former pay rate if the new job was lower. People returning from military service had the same rights.

      However, my chicken shit department led me to believe that I could sit on my former job, as it was then empty, but I would have to bid on it within two weeks and hope that I had enough seniority to reclaim it. If I were unsuccessful, I might end up out on the street. Pure bullshit -- I could have demanded a list of all jobs taken company-wide since my leave, reviewed them, then either bumped anyone of lesser seniority off any job acquired during that time or simply said, "My former job remains mine -- get the incumbent out of it by starting time tomorrow morning." Too bad I wasn't sharp enough to know the details of federal law and union rules (at that time). Basically the bastards snowed me to avoid paperwork.

  16. Dog training 101 by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is how I trained the dogs to do this important work.

    Step 1: Get dogs addicted to cigarettes
    Step 2: Withhold cigarettes
    Step 3: Dog goes apeshit when it detects cigarettes

    --
    Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  17. Here's an idea by mweather · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Maybe if they had ashtrays, there wouldn't have been a fire.

  18. Eeek by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    As long as these dogs only recognize tobacco and not salvia divinoooooooh fuck my room is a cosmic tomato careening toward God's infinite theatre and jesus is a mime with a giant glass-domed brain for a head whooooooaaaaaaa

  19. Designated Smoking Area? by keytoe · · Score: 1

    Is there not a designated smoking area for these people? If so, how does the dog tell the difference between a worker who smoked in the designated area verses someone who snuck one someplace inappropriate?

    1. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by BlueStrat · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Is there not a designated smoking area for these people? If so, how does the dog tell the difference between a worker who smoked in the designated area verses someone who snuck one someplace inappropriate?

      Designated smoking areas!?!? What, are you from the '80s?

      Companies stopped providing any sort of concessions to smokers years ago. These days, walking into many workplaces is like walking into a minimum security (for now) prison.

      I started working for a company in Indiana about 7-8 years ago, and right after I was hired, they instituted a zero-tolerance policy towards smokers (I smoke). It was crazy! They actually had 'monitors' that followed employees around whenever they left the main production floor to make sure they didn't smoke. They didn't SAY that's what was going on, they just quietly took one or two people every shift that were due for an employee review, and told them what they wanted. They wouldn't come out and be straight and tell the workers why they were being followed around, and it made working there a little vacation to hell. It was creepy!

      You weren't even to have tobacco in your vehicle in the parking lot. Not that employees were even allowed to leave the building during their shift or anything.

      If they knew you were a smoker, you were pretty much gaurunteed to be "asked" to open your car for inspection every couple weeks. Refusal meant a pink slip on the spot. Cigarette butts in the ashtray were treated the same as if you had 50 cartons and a vending machine in your car.

      Even though I was very well-paid, as I worked in electrical/electronic maintenance and so escaped much of the Smoking Politburo officers' attention, I just couldn't take such a horrible work environment and "East German informer" atmosphere and quit.

      Now, I run my own business where I smoke whenever I want, and there's a sign on the door that informs people that this is a smoking environment. They're free to take their business elsewhere if they object, that's fine with me. If they're such anal-retentive types, I don't want to deal with them anyways.

      I had a college kid come in once and get upset that I stood there smoking and actually threatened me that he'd get the health inspectors and zoning commission to go after me.

      I laughed in his face and told him good luck, as the shop is outside any city or township, and I own the building and the land.

      While he stood there sputtering in outrage, I told him, "Son, you're gonna die early of a heart attack with all that anger and stress...here, have a nice relaxing smoke!". :D

      Strat

      --
      Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.
    2. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by keytoe · · Score: 1

      Wow - that's all completely unconscionable, if not downright illegal. They can prohibit you from smoking on their grounds, sure, but they certainly don't have any right to force you to open your car nor can they stop you from leaving the grounds on your time to have a smoke.

      I'm glad to see you've removed yourself from that situation. As an ex-smoker, I feel the pains from both sides of the argument. While I understand that there are valid concerns for the rights of the non-smoking population, lets not forget that smokers have rights too.

    3. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by sunderland56 · · Score: 1

      Is there not a designated smoking area for these people?

      There isn't a designated drinking area for the alcoholics, or a designated shooting-up area for the heroin addicts. So why should there be a special area for those addicted to nicotine?

    4. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by keytoe · · Score: 1

      There isn't a designated drinking area for the alcoholics, or a designated shooting-up area for the heroin addicts. So why should there be a special area for those addicted to nicotine?

      Drinking and drug use while on the job isn't acceptable because those activities cause impairment. Smoking is a personal habit akin to drinking coffee, soda or some other socially acceptable form of non impairing recreational substance use. The difference between nicotine and caffeine is that caffeine doesn't produce 'second hand coffee', so it's polite to move yourself away from everyone else while you do it - hence the desire to have a designated smoking area. Even if that designated area is 'out back behind the building where nobody can see or smell you'. If you really need someone to explain that to you, I worry for your future.

      I can't believe I responded to that...

    5. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by BlueStrat · · Score: 1

      Wow - that's all completely unconscionable, if not downright illegal. They can prohibit you from smoking on their grounds, sure, but they certainly don't have any right to force you to open your car nor can they stop you from leaving the grounds on your time to have a smoke.

      I'm glad to see you've removed yourself from that situation. As an ex-smoker, I feel the pains from both sides of the argument. While I understand that there are valid concerns for the rights of the non-smoking population, lets not forget that smokers have rights too.

      As to the opening of your vehicle...you didn't have to open your vehicle...you were free to refuse...and they were free to stop employing you. As to leaving the grounds, they had a paid lunch and breaks system, so you were never off the clock during a shift, therefor they could prohibit you leaving the building.

      I'm a considerate smoker. I don't light up in non-smoking environments and I am considerate of others who don't smoke. However, these days I often encounter self-righteous people who think they have the right to treat smokers like HIV-carrying crackheads, heroin junkies, or someTHING less than human with no basic rights due to all the anti-smoking hysteria created by all the anti-smoking propaganda. I'm sorry, but even though I'm considerate of non-smokers, the 'second-hand smoke danger' boogeyman is far too exaggerated, way way out of hand, and being used to demonize and punish people unfairly.

      I tell these anti-smoking Nazis fine, I'll stop smoking when you stop breathing all your viruses and germs into my air...you could be carrying SARS, a new strain of airborne HIV, or who knows what! And while you're at it, stop polluting my air with your vehicle(s) too, that pumps out far more toxins & carcinogens in one trip to the store than my cigarette would in 100 years. And oh, yeah...reimburse me for all the taxes on tobacco I have and will pay that you get the benefits of too. *Then* I might take your extreme stance as something other than being an ass simply because you have an inferiority complex, hunger for power, have self-esteem issues, and it's illegal to shoot you.

      Cheers!

      Strat

      --
      Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.
    6. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I once produced 'second hand coffee' in a coworkers desk. In my defense, she was a bitch. I no longer work at that place.

    7. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by R3d+M3rcury · · Score: 1

      Sir, you are my hero.

    8. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Second.
      Hand.
      Smoke.
      Asshole.

      I applaud businesses for expunging smoking from the workplace.

      I also loathe smokers who feel entitled to a periodic 15 minute break every hour or so because they have a chemical addiction. lazy sons of bitches.

      Please, get a job somewhere else who can tolerate your addiction and lower work ethic.

    9. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      it should only take 5 minutes to powersmoke 1 bogey., not 15. i had a coworker who'd take his 15 minute break, and 3 15 minute smoke breaks, on a 5 hour shift. and i had to cover him for all that. i was late every day. overtime though.

    10. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      inappropriate

      Only pansies and bedwetters use the word "inappropriate".

    11. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by jonbryce · · Score: 1

      Designated area? They are illegal in most of europe. The only places you are allowed to smoke are in your own home, outside, in a prison or in a mental hospital.

    12. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Hubbell · · Score: 1

      The danger from secondhand smoke is so small that it doesn't even exist unless you are sitting an inch from the end of the smoker's cigarette inhaling all the smoke that comes off it. Otherwise, it dissipates in the air to the point where it has almost no effect on anyone with anything less than the kind of asthma that kills you for breathing in a single speck of dust.
      That whole EPA report saying that secondhand smoke > primary smoke? Yea, repeatedly proven to be almost entire falsified.

    13. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      While he stood there sputtering in outrage, I told him, "Son, you're gonna die early of a heart attack with all that anger and stress...here, have a nice relaxing smoke!". :D

      I'm a non-smoker, but that's pretty damned funny.

    14. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by jred · · Score: 1

      Yeah! Let's not forget those freakin' coffee breaks, either! Dadgum caffeine addicts!!! Oh, and FOOD, if they can't wait 10 hours to eat, they don't deserve to work!!!!

      Whatever. As long as I have to wade past the crowd at the coffee pot to go outside in the cold rain to take my 5 minute break (once in morning, once at lunch, once in afternoon... you know, breaks I'm legally entitled to... anyway,) once I don't have to smell burned freaking popcorn... every day, and once I don't have to smell that god-awful perfume from down the hall...

      Fuck it, I'm pissed now & I'm taking my break early. You can blame yourself entirely. In fact, I'll take a TEN minute break & smoke TWO!!!

      You know, I'm glad Obama got elected. He's a smoker, maybe we'll get to retain some smoker's rights for a CHANGE!

      --

      jred
      I'm not a mechanic but I play one in my garage...
    15. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Did you read his entire post? He owns the business and the building it's in and has signage on the door indicating that smoking is permitted on the premicise. If someone doesn't want to have to deal with second-hand smoke, then they are perfectly entitled to not walk in that front door. As far as his "lower" work ethic goes, again, he owns the business, I think he HAS found a place that will tolerate his work ethic and addiction. Asshole.

    16. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Muad'Dave · · Score: 1

      Wow - that's all completely unconscionable, if not downright illegal. They can prohibit you from smoking on their grounds, sure, but they certainly don't have any right to force you to open your car nor can they stop you from leaving the grounds on your time to have a smoke.

      Slight search-and-replace yields:

      Wow - that's all completely unconscionable, if not downright illegal. They can prohibit you from having a gun on their grounds, sure, but they certainly don't have any right to force you to open your car nor can they stop you from leaving the grounds on your time to have a good time at the firing range.

      That situation sounds suspiciously like the fight concealed-carry permit holders are waging against prohibitions of carrying a legally-owned handgun in their car on company property. They're certainly able to prevent me from carrying inside their buildings and while walking around their property, but the state says I can have one legally in my car. The argument is that my car is the same as my house - no searches without probable cause, so the company has no business worrying about things that stay in the car.

      --
      Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
    17. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Really? That surprises me. When I went to Zurich in September, there were smoking rooms in both the Zurich and Frankfurt airports.

    18. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by jonbryce · · Score: 1

      Really? That surprises me. When I went to Zurich in September, there were smoking rooms in both the Zurich and Frankfurt airports.

      Switzerland isn't part of the EU.

    19. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by bratwiz · · Score: 1

      Uh, you used it twice...

    20. Re:Designated Smoking Area? by mcgrew · · Score: 1

      Now, I run my own business where I smoke whenever I want, and there's a sign on the door that informs people that this is a smoking environment.

      Lucky for you you don't live here in Illinois. They outlawed smoking in about every public building whether or not you own the building.

      The law is against the Illinois Constitution (and everyone who went to court over it won on those grounds) but the lawmakers and health departments don't care about the state (or any other) Constitution. Witness the fact that the Governor has a Constitutional mandate to live in the Governor's Mansion in Springfield, yet he lives in Chicago and never spent a single night at the Mansion.

      If the legislators don't respect the law, why do they expect the rest of us to?

  20. Cancer sniffing dogs? Oh great :-( by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Next we can expect companies will begin to use cancer sniffing dogs at job interviews, and at quarterly employee reviews so that they will be able to avoid hiring someone... or be able to dismiss an employee for some trumped up reason (sorry, we just downsized your position)... so that they can avoid the financial impact on their group health insurance policy.

    1. Re:Cancer sniffing dogs? Oh great :-( by tomhudson · · Score: 1

      Next we can expect companies will begin to use cancer sniffing dogs at job interviews, and at quarterly employee reviews so that they will be able to avoid hiring someone... or be able to dismiss an employee for some trumped up reason (sorry, we just downsized your position)... so that they can avoid the financial impact on their group health insurance policy.

      No problem - just have your "service dog" that accompanies you be a bitch in heat :-) Heck, just petting a dog in heat for a minute of two, you'll be good for an hour.

  21. disconnected standpipe in basement by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Idiotic. Smoking, while not allowed was not the problem.

    If they had actually focused on the poor oversight and management of the site, this would not have been necessary.

    The firefighters died from the following two reasons:

    1) The standpipe in the basement was disconnected.
    2) Subcontractors left trash around the building that was not policed for weeks.

    Not because they were sneaking butts. They should save the money on the dog and hire a FT safety inspector versed in NYFD chapter and verse. Idiots.

  22. The trash can by Chmcginn · · Score: 1

    And he put out his cigarette the wrong way?

    Well, putting it out in a trash can indoors is definitely the wrong way...

    --
    Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
  23. C'mere, puppy . . . by mmell · · Score: 1

    I'd like to acquaint you with my favorite brand of ground hot red pepper!

  24. Anonymous Coward by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Faggot cops wont let you go out for a fucking smoke. And you can't blow the mutts brains out with a Colt Python in comic fashion without doing a few month stint in the slammer? The hell is the world coming to. Let people smoke. Legalize marijuana, its the solution to the problem.

  25. or a sprinkler system? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    or a functioning sprinkler system?

    But yea, you go ahead and spend money on all that 'code enforcement' stuff while being totally oblivious to the codes that deal with indoor fire supression systems. Punish the tennants, not the owners. Thats where the real money is! Wait, what do you mean its not about money? What did you say... Its about WHAT????

    Good luck with that

    1. Re:or a sprinkler system? by mweather · · Score: 1

      Sprinklers are generally only useful AFTER something catches on fire, while ashtrays are great at preventing things from catching on fire in the first place. I'm thinking the ashtrays would be more effective.

  26. Theory 101 for coke sniffing dogs by freaker_TuC · · Score: 1

    I hope this theory doesn't fly up for coke sniffing dogs who can't sniff their own butts anymore ...

    It'd be a hell of an addicted life; a cat's life would be luxe!

    --
    --- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
  27. Re:pop corn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You likely have an allergy to corn and might want to look into it.

  28. Bullshit by shyster · · Score: 1

    My BS detector always goes red-hot on stories that blame a careless smoker for starting an inferno, because - despite having smoked for 15 years, I've yet to start even a small fire with a cigarette. If you throw a cigarette into gasoline, it goes out. If you throw it on some dry leaves, it goes out. If you throw it on cloth, it'll burn a hole...but then, it'll go out. If you throw it on some sawdust...well, I haven't tried that one - but I suspect it'd still go out. And since the building is covered in flame-retardant asbestos, I'd think it'd be even *harder* to light on fire. I concede that it is *possible* that a lit cigarette, combined with optimal environmental conditions, could start a fire. But to have 10 floors go up in flames certainly suggests that the structure itself (or something in it) was highly flammable to begin with.

    A little Googling brings up the fact that "inspectors knew there was a blatant disregard for even the most basic fire-safety rules":

    • [They] did not have enough safety managers to watch for blowtorch sparks
    • Burning details are being manned by only one fireguard. Demo foreman has been strongly advised of the need for an additional fireguard or perhaps two
    • No fireguard spotted during burning activity on the 36th Fl. west side
    • Torch operator on 28 cutting off small beams and fireguards were in place on 28, no fireguard on 27 or 26. Small fire on ceiling of 26 was put out by roofers. I called Eric the demo supervisor and explained to him again that any floors below demolition that sparks fall MUST have a fireguard present at all times
    • A small fire from sparks from the roof started on S/E side column of 22nd floor. I told Eric from J Galt the need for more than one fireguard.
    • Demo foreman was advised to halt burning activity within 10 ft. of fuel cans on 29th Fl.

    Oh, but "on the 6th floor N/W room 13 pallets of batteries and 19 drums. Many cigarette butts were found along with a Weber black small BBQ". Yeah, I can really see why "investigators theorize [that] a worker carelessly chucked a lit cigarette, igniting the blaze" (that started on the 17th floor). Surely it wouldn't have anything to do with the repeated fires they were starting from demolition, or the "burning activity" near gasoline, or even the indoor BBQ. Or, that both the inspectors' and the companies' ass would be on the line if they were found negligent for the fire - much easier to blame a nameless construction worker.

  29. Smoking Hinders Productivity by Farmer+Pete · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I'm not a smoker. I have never been a smoker. I know I am not alone in being pissed off at smokers and the allowance of smoking at the workplace. I'm not pissed off at smokers because they are hurting their bodies, the smell, or second hand smoke. I'm pissed off because they get to take a 5-15 minute break (typically towards the 15 minute end of the spectrum) 3-4 times a day, on top of their lunch hour and 2 scheduled breaks. If I told my boss that I was taking a 15 minute nap in the middle of the day, he'd flip. Yet my coworkers can take a 15 minute smoke break at 4:55 and actually get overtime for 10 minutes of his smoke break. WTF?!?!?!?! Yet if I complain about this to my boss or my bosses boss, I just get told that I'm not being sensitive to the needs of other people. I just don't understand how people can't limit their smoke breaks to the two scheduled breaks and lunch times. If you want to smoke, do it on your own time, not on the clock. Tell people they have to punch out to take an extra break and we'd have a riot break out.

    By the way, I've seen this happening at a few different places now. If I claimed I was addicted to Hacky sack, do you think I could take extra hacky sack break times through out the day?

    1. Re:Smoking Hinders Productivity by cavePrisoner · · Score: 1

      This simply sounds like your workplace has a bad policy. I don't see how smokers in general are to blame for this. Some workplaces have a policy that allows employee to choose between a lunch break and a series of short breaks throughout the day, each option totaling the same amount of time. The smokers choose the short breaks, everyone else chooses a long lunch break.

    2. Re:Smoking Hinders Productivity by Kingrames · · Score: 1

      It's not equal, but that doesn't make it unfair.
      I can understand you being upset about it because it looks like you're being cheated out of your time, but that's not necessarily true. Those workers are taking time out of their day to destroy their bodies. Would you rather they do it indoors right next to you?

      --
      If you can read this, I forgot to post anonymously.
    3. Re:Smoking Hinders Productivity by mikael_j · · Score: 1

      Where I work it generally seems that non-smokers take longer breaks than the smokers. Most of my smoker co-workers seem to take 2-3 breaks (not counting lunch) and these are generally a quick "breath of fresh air", a refill of their coffee and then back to work. Most non-smoking co-workers tend to take two breaks that are "15 minutes" each, although the trend seems to be to that if co-worker 'A' goes on break 10 minutes before co-worker 'B' then you can pretty much count on 'A' not returning until 'B's break is over (meaning 'A' took a 25 minute break). Yet everyone complains when the smokers split their breaks into three 10 minute breaks instead of two 15 minute breaks...

      /Mikael

      --
      Greylisting is to SMTP as NAT is to IPv4
  30. I Love Smokers by bgman · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sometimes life can be tough. But if I'm feeling a little battered and see someone on a smoke break - outside in the 120 degree heat of a Phoenix summer, I always feel better. At least I'm smart enough to not pay good money to look stupid, smell bad and destroy my lungs in an effort to enrich a tobacco company that wouldn't urinate on me if I caught fire using their product.

    1. Re:I Love Smokers by bratwiz · · Score: 1

      Sure they would. The tobacco company isn't THAT bad. I'm sure they'd piss on a fellow smoker if they were smoking their brand, was willing to sign an affidavit that they'd BEEN smoking that brand for 20 years or more, and could produce the STATE STAMPS from 50 or more packs of their brand of cigarettes as token proof.

      Alternately, I'm sure they'd be willing to piss on just about anyone for a small fee. (A little more if you wanted it done in private.)

  31. Solution Simple by bratwiz · · Score: 1

    Stop whining, the solution is simple here bud...

    Just start smoking and get your ten minutes of overtime too.

    (Of course there is another way to look at it-- those 10 minutes are more like charity for people who are drastically reducing their lifespans by smoking...)