Slashdot Mirror


Astronaut Loses Tools While Performing an EVA

tpheiska writes "NASA press release states that 'At approx. 3:33 p.m. EST, Piper reported that one of the Braycote lubrication guns had released grease into her toolbag. As she was cleaning the bag and wiping the tools and equipment inside, the bag floated away. Another bag carrying identical equipment is now being shared by Piper and Bowen.' Luckily they had a spare."

29 of 445 comments (clear)

  1. Laurel & Hardy? by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    As she was cleaning the bag and wiping the tools and equipment inside, the bag floated away. Another bag carrying identical equipment is now being shared by Piper and Bowen.

    Do we have any humorous black & white silent space footage of this skit?

    Seriously, NASA's gotta come up with financing somehow ... add some hokey 1920's ragtime music to the it, speed it up just unnaturally fast and they just might be sitting on a viral video here!

    Come on, it practically writes itself:

    Setting: Exterior of shuttle.
    A lanky beanpole Bowen discovers that grease has been dispensed into her bag. Not wanting to alert the portly Bowen and face his wrath, she quickly empties the contents of the bag to wipe them off. As she cleans each tool, she sets it back down on the shuttle but soon realizes that they merely float back up. She rotates through each tool, setting it back on the shuttle but forgets about the bag! Bowen hears the heavy breathing in his earpiece and turns around in time to see the bag floating away while Piper is pre-occupied with the tools. He scowls and makes a move for the bag but slips on grease and tumbles out into space, tethered only by his life support ...

    --
    My work here is dung.
  2. color me unsurprised by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    that's why I don't trust my bag to any woman

    1. Re:color me unsurprised by Daetrin · · Score: 4, Funny

      "that's why I don't trust my bag to any woman"

      Not even when it's coated with lube?

      --
      This Space Intentionally Left Blank
    2. Re:color me unsurprised by msu320 · · Score: 2, Funny

      that's why I don't trust my bag to any other woman

      fixed it for ya.

      --
      New slashdot layout sucks.
  3. And THIS is why by falcon5768 · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Enterprise was built on the ground folks. If highly trained astronauts cant hold onto their tools, you think a bunch of steel workers can?

    --

    "Slashdot, where telling the truth is overrated but lying is insightful."

    1. Re:And THIS is why by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Many ego-centric professionals (I use that term loosely) in the IT field still can see no use for a woman in their profession, unless we are staffing a help desk.

      Hey! That's not true. Executive Assistant comes to mind.

      "Tim the Toolman" does not have a caddy of accessories to keep his stuff in place

      He wears a toolbelt, which is attached to his waist...

  4. Re:I was just wondering by paazin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Or Velcro(tm) the space-age adhesive!

  5. damn it whats wrong with me by ionix5891 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "guns had released grease into her toolbag ..."

  6. Typical woman by Viol8 · · Score: 4, Funny

    More interested in cleaning stuff than getting on with the job! :o)

  7. Advertisment by L4t3r4lu5 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "New, from the company that brought you Soap-On-A-Rope, we are proud to present our latest product line for extra-terrestrial encounters of the maintenance kind...
    - Hammer-On-A-Rope!
    - Screwdriver-On-A-Rope!
    - Chisel-On-A-Rope!
    - Rope-On-A-Rope!"

    --
    Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
  8. Wow by IceCreamGuy · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think this might be the most sexist slashdot discussion I've ever seen.

    1. Re:Wow by nacturation · · Score: 2, Funny

      I think this might be the most sexist slashdot discussion I've ever seen.

      What's really sad is that some moderator chose to mod you funny. Imagine if someone wrote "Wow, I think that country has the highest rate of genocide I've ever seen" and then got modded to +5, Funny.

      --
      Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
  9. Sleep time by edgr · · Score: 3, Funny

    The crew is due to go to sleep tonight at 11:55 p.m. CST and will wake up at 7:55 a.m. tomorrow.

    Man, that's a pretty damn regimented sleep time. I guess there's no quickly checking /. before bed.

  10. Uhm ... what? by Errtu76 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "lubrication guns had released grease into her toolbag"

    Am i really the only one who thought of porn when reading this? I hope not.

  11. Should've seen it coming by Godji · · Score: 1, Funny

    That's exactly what happens when astronauts don't get to see "BURN-E" before going on a mission!

  12. Porn? by Hoi+Polloi · · Score: 2, Funny

    lubrication guns had released grease into her toolbag. As she was cleaning the bag and wiping the tools and equipment inside

    This is the most obscene thing I've ever read here.

    --
    It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
  13. Re:I was just wondering by DinDaddy · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling." - Jack Handy

  14. Re:I was just wondering by MikeDirnt69 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Put her make-up stuff inside it, I bet she won't lose it again!

    --
    Am I eval()? - http://www.monst3r.com.br
  15. And in today's episode of "learning the internet" by clone53421 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Google or Wiki, Ctrl-F, "astronaut", Enter.

    --
    Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
  16. Re:Why did it have to be a woman... by Shakrai · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah. I actually have mod points today, but I can't find the option for "-1, pathetic bigotry".

    Sexism != bigotry

    --
    I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
    We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  17. Gr*sr by Linker3000 · · Score: 3, Funny

    So can we look forward to a sentient grease gun arriving back in Earth orbit some time in the future demanding to speak to the head mechanic?

    --
    AT&ROFLMAO
  18. Re:I was just wondering by philspear · · Score: 2, Funny

    Guys, this isn't changing the oil on your car.

    They actually were changing the oil on my car, which just so happens to be in space, you insensitive clod!

  19. Re:I was just wondering by History's+Coming+To · · Score: 2, Funny

    Agree. The two orbits will continue to intersect if it's all in physics-land and everything is working on the same plane etc. This was, in fact, the central premise and punchline to an Arthur C Clarke short story called Jupiter V, it's very good and I recommend it. There you go, I must be right, fiction agrees with me.

    --
    Please consider this account deleted, I just can't be bothered with the spam anymore.
  20. Re:I was just wondering by djupedal · · Score: 3, Funny

    >Orbits are elliptical.
    /
    And gravity sucks...look up 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica'.

  21. Re:I was just wondering by SleptThroughClass · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Hello, I'm Clippy.
    Are you trying to hit the Earth?
    Try firing your rifle directly opposite the direction of your ship's orbit.
    You would get faster results if you upgrade your rifle to one which can fire at the same speed as your ship's speed."

  22. Re:I was just wondering by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    This is why, if you're a carnivorous spacemonster attached to the hull of a spaceship, it's important to eat the first emerging astronaut within thirty seconds of them emerging from the airlock.

    You get bonus points and extra helpings. They send out a second astronaut to see what happened to the first, and then a third to see what happened to the second...

  23. Radio silence by ErkDemon · · Score: 5, Funny
    You don't want the world listening in to a conversation between a bunch of macho guys who've just realised that they're all alone in a sealed capsule with nothing to lose, no chance of escape and a few hours left to live.

    Mission Control:
    "And so, the world waits and listens, as the brave astronauts consider how to spend their last few hours of precious life. We can no longer communicate with the heroic crew, but we have one last audio feed still working. We can hear them, but tragically, they can't hear us ... "

    Audio feed:
    "Chuck?"
    "Yeah, Tony?"
    "We're gonna die, ain't we?"
    "Yeah, Tony. We are."
    "Is there anything you really wished you'd tried, just once, when you had the chance?"
    "A few things, Tony. Yeah. A few."
    "Have you ever wondered what, like, it'd be like to 'do it' with another guy? Because ..."

    Mission Control:
    "Aaargh! Aargh! Noooooo! Turn it OFF!"

  24. Re:I was just wondering by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...the dying astronaut might be able to say what it was before dying....

    ...My God.. It's full of stars...

  25. Re:I was just wondering by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    who's to say the rest of the crew can't hear you? the comment said HOUSTON...

    if something were to happen, the only thing that matters is the people CLOSEST to you, not the ones hundreds of miles away