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Oldest-Known Human Brain Discovered

Posted by timothy on from the does-not-belong-to-hans-delbrueck dept.

Smivs writes "The BBC report that archaeologists have found what could be Britain's oldest surviving human brain. The team, excavating a York University site, discovered a skull containing a yellow substance which scans showed to be shrunken, but brain-shaped. Brains consist of fatty tissue which microbes in the soil would absorb, so neurologists believe the find could be some kind of fossilised brain. More tests will now be done to establish what it is actually made of. The skull was discovered during an exploratory dig at Heslington Eastin, an area of extensive prehistoric farming landscape of fields, trackways and buildings dating back to at least 300 BC."

52 of 74 comments (clear)

  1. Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by danieltdp · · Score: 5, Funny

    What the heck? The brain isn't *dead*!?!?!?

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    1. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by MilesAttacca · · Score: 4, Funny

      Researchers could not be reached for further comments regarding the possibility of a zombie outbreak.

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    2. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 1

      "Surviving" as in "intact".

      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
    3. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by danieltdp · · Score: 3, Funny

      Actually, there were found, but didn't say much . Just kept walking slowly forward and saying Braaaaaaainnnnsss

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    4. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by dkleinsc · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, it's at least revivable.

      The problem is that it belonged to some fellow named Ab Normal.

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      I am officially gone from /. Long live http://www.soylentnews.com/
    5. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by danieltdp · · Score: 3, Funny

      Glad you cleared that for me! ;-) Oh, wait, patent infringement. Let use :-) instead

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    6. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by LingNoi · · Score: 1

      You mean trademark. ;-) .. shit! (=_=)

    7. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by SputnikPanic · · Score: 2, Informative

      How about "oldest extant human brain"?

    8. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by tmosley · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Afterwards, reporters could not be reached for comment on the lack of comments from the researchers.

    9. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by neomunk · · Score: 4, Funny

      And I always thought that meant they were hungry... Turns out that they, like O.J., just wanted their property back.

    10. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by coolsnowmen · · Score: 2, Informative

      Sigh,
            It is not "just wrong." It might be slighted shortened to a conversational form. But I assure you, the definition has been around for 100-500 years.

      From the Oxford english dictionary:
      Survive,
      1. a. intr. To continue to live after the death of another...to remain alive, live on.

      1b: transf. To continue to exist after some person, thing, or event; to last on.

      In this context, unless the brain is from a zombie, I would draw your attention to accepted definition 1b. Even you should be able to infer what the writer is trying to say.

    11. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 1

      Except in the case of upon discovery it disintegrated, in which opposite case it continues to... endure.

      A shame they'll likely start sectioning it and shaving off layers to examine it long before we develop the technology to read the experiences encoded therein.

      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
    12. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by AragornSonOfArathorn · · Score: 1

      It's like that severed tongue floating in a jar they found a few years ago. It wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues. Pretty cool, huh?

      This is the same thing. Put it in a jar and it will grow and pulsate and give birth to baby brains.

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      sudo eat my shorts
    13. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by Larryish · · Score: 1

      When I read the headline I thought this was some sort of McCain joke.

    14. Re:Oldest *surviving* human brain!? by elgatozorbas · · Score: 1

      For those who don't know the reference.

  2. shrunken by Arancaytar · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's not fossilized, it just belongs to a [$PROFESSION|$POLITICAL_PARTY].

    1. Re:shrunken by Arancaytar · · Score: 1

      ... wha? Am I first or what?

    2. Re:shrunken by maxume · · Score: 3, Funny

      What?

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      Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
    3. Re:shrunken by Opportunist · · Score: 2, Funny

      I was actually waiting for a few jokes revolving around "they saved"+$celebrity+"'s brain", but no hit so far either.

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      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    4. Re:shrunken by maxume · · Score: 1

      "The researchers have contacted John McCain and fully intend to return the brain to him."

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      Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
    5. Re:shrunken by owlnation · · Score: 1

      Ah, no... it's not John McCain's.

      It's George W. Bush's. His brain has been in the UK all along. Occam's Razor -- it goes a long way to explaining a great deal.

    6. Re:shrunken by phorm · · Score: 1

      No, they also found a shrunken heart which they attribute to the owner being either a politician/lawyer.

      The brain they believe may have belonged to a early **professional athlete, and it's lasted for quite a long time because it apparently wasn't used much :-)

      **disclaimer: Humor intended, I actually know some fairly smart athletes

    7. Re:shrunken by CptNerd · · Score: 1

      Sounds like an advertisement: "It goes a long way to explain a great deal"...on used brains! I guess a brain dealer named "Crazy Eddie" wouldn't be very good, though...

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      By the taping of my glasses, something geeky this way passes
    8. Re:shrunken by Chrisje · · Score: 1

      Hey man, if you explain the Joke ad nauseam it ain't funny anymore.

      You ever see Eddie Murphy explain that he actually knew Jamaicans with Normal Dicks (TM)? Or did you ever see Richard Pryor explain he actually knew some black people that couldn't outrun a dobermann? Should have more faith in your joke. Tsk tsk... it was a perfectly fine joke. Until that American Disclaimer popped up.

  3. Re:Thanks by danieltdp · · Score: 4, Funny

    That explains a lot. They found Anonymous Coward's brain!

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  4. its not fossilized brain by circletimessquare · · Score: 4, Funny

    its fruitcake

    its hard to tell the difference without a good sniff

    and besides, if you wanted to make sure it wasn't trotted out again for another christmas, wouldn't you hide it some place disageeable and avoidable like a skull too?

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  5. so many geriatric jokes, so little time by jollyreaper · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oldest brain? Fossilized? I wouldn't even know where to begin.

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  6. Leave it alone! by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 3, Funny

    Leave it alone! We don't want to rouse the oldest known zombie!

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    This guy's the limit!
  7. Good news, everyone! by illegalcortex · · Score: 1

    Let's just hope it was "fast fossilized."

  8. Zombies by necro81 · · Score: 1

    Cue the Zombie jokes now...

    Mmmmmm... brain jerky!

    1. Re:Zombies by Hatta · · Score: 2, Funny

      This is an outrage! I was going to eat that mummy.

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    2. Re:Zombies by antifoidulus · · Score: 1

      This obviously was the inedible part of the brain. I guess akin to the bones in chicken.

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      Monstar L
  9. It's British....can you say by zappepcs · · Score: 2, Funny

    28 centuries later? I just got a really bad feeling about that in my stomach. After Reign Of Fire, that title is possible....

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  10. That happens to me all the time. by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 2, Funny

    Some mornings I wake up and after opening a book and looking at the text, I get suspicious that someone has stolen my brain when I was sleeping and replaced it with a shrunken, but brain-shaped substance. Coffee usually inflates it again. Where do I apply as an archaeological object?

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    Ezekiel 23:20
    1. Re:That happens to me all the time. by gstoddart · · Score: 2, Funny

      Where do I apply as an archaeological object?

      Well, there's rather a lengthy waiting time to get it sorted out, but it can be done with some careful planning. :-P

      Cheers

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      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    2. Re:That happens to me all the time. by malkir · · Score: 1

      ...but it can be done with some careful planning. :-P

      Copyright infringement!

    3. Re:That happens to me all the time. by smithmc · · Score: 1

      You should apply as a Mentat. "It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion..." and all that.

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  11. Re:Yeah right... by Anonymous+Scoured · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think we found the owner.

  12. Wow... by dfdashh · · Score: 1

    I didn't know Larry King had ever even been to the UK.

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    df -h /my/head
  13. ziiiiiiiing! by pak9rabid · · Score: 1

    I thought the McCain jokes would be done with after the election.

  14. Ritual Offering by aquatone282 · · Score: 4, Funny

    FTFA:

    The archaeologists believe the skull, which was found on its own in a muddy pit, may have been a ritual offering.

    Perhaps we should do the same for our U.S. banking and automotive executives who can't manage their companies properly.

    Instead of a multi-million dollar golden parachute we take their heads and throw them into the nearest bog.

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  15. Einstein by ndansmith · · Score: 1

    Anyone else find it fitting that the icon for the Science section is Einstein?

    1. Re:Einstein by ndansmith · · Score: 1

      Well, it's a brain thing. But whatever.

  16. Prehistoric? by Thunderstruck · · Score: 2, Insightful

    "The skull was discovered during an exploratory dig at Heslington Eastin, an area of extensive prehistoric farming landscape of fields, trackways and buildings dating back to at least 300 BC."

    Wait, when did 300 BC become prehistoric?

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    1. Re:Prehistoric? by aproposofwhat · · Score: 5, Informative

      it is in the UK - writing was very uncommon until the Romans came and 'civilised' us.

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    2. Re:Prehistoric? by Thunderstruck · · Score: 1

      Obviously, it's not to be taken literally. He's referring to any purveyor of dairy products.

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      Trying to use sarcasm in text-based forums does not work.
  17. Oldest? by jbeaupre · · Score: 1

    How about a 3200 year old mummy brain?
    warning: pdf link http://www.ajronline.org/cgi/reprint/189/2/W105.pdf

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    1. Re:Oldest? by Curmudgeonlyoldbloke · · Score: 1

      Extend the hyperlink one word to the left (across "Britain's ...") and it makes sense.

      FWIW, pictures!:
      http://www.york.ac.uk/admin/presspr/pressreleases/brainscan_images.htm

      and the Uni press release:
      http://www.york.ac.uk/admin/presspr/pressreleases/skull.htm

  18. Why do you eat people? by davidsyes · · Score: 1

    TorsoWoman: Not PEEEpuhl... BRAAAINS-suh... (spine tapping on table)
    Mortician, quizzically: Why do you eat... brains?
    TW: It makes the PAIN go AWAY...
    M: baffled: Pain? What pain is that?
    TW: The PAIN of BEING DEAD...
    M: Hwuh, I guess it HURTS to be DEAD...
    TW: I.. can feel myself rotting... away... (moans) Brains, brains brains brains brains......(spine tapping on table, rapidly)

    --
    Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
  19. Piltdown man by wfstanle · · Score: 1

    Next they will say it belongs to Piltdown man!

  20. Re:family guy by konohitowa · · Score: 1

    Anyone else reminded of the episode of Family Guy where Peter digs up the native-american skull?

    No, I don't watch that crap.

    He's too busy reading this crap and then adding his own crap to the pile.

  21. Not the World's Oldest by lionaire · · Score: 1

    While this may be the oldest brain in Britain, (at 300 BC) it's not the world's oldest by a long shot. The oldest intact brains in the world come from paleo-indian skulls found in an anoxic sinkhole in Florida. Discovered by freshwater divers, archeologists were shocked to find soft brain tissue almost 9000 years old within some of the skulls. These unique brains had shrunk to half their normal size, but were otherwise intact, with easily recognizable neurons and clone-able DNA. Some brain tissue also survives in approx 30% of the crania of the Chinchurro mummies (dating from 1800BCE-5000BCE).