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New Contest Will Seek the Best "I'm Linux" Video
LinuxScribe writes "From Apple's ubiquitous 'I'm a Mac,' to Jerry Seinfeld, to Microsoft's 'I'm a PC' retort, operating system commercials have been flooding the airways. Except that Linux is the one OS that has been notably absent. Now the Linux Foundation is launching a video contest on their new video site to fill this void. The winner gets a trip to Tokyo next year to participate in the Linux Foundation Japan Linux Symposium, and some serious geek cred."
The contest doesn't officially open until late January; the blog post has an email address to contact if you want to get a head start.
I vote for Rodney McKay
Novell has already done this in several viral videos, just do a youtube search. The Linux foundation no doubt has less funding than Novell, so they should partner up on this and get a commercial out together, since Novell not only has experience/material on this, but a viable pitch as well what with the woman being Linux and more creative/better than the PC/Mac representatives.
And honestly, why are they still beating this whole "I'm a $PLATFORM" bit death rather than creating a new pitch, as Apple will undoubtably do once everyone has parodied their commercial to death.
(big)Hi, I'm a PC.
(med mac)Hi, I'm a mac.
(flea linux)I'm Linux!
(big pc)Let's talk about servers.
PC shrinks, mac grows, but Linux takes over 90% of the scale
(linux)Hey! Where did you guys go?
Help stamp out iliturcy.
If it had been done right about the time the Microsoft Ads came out, it would have been okay. Doing it now sends the message that Linux is behind the times and unoriginal. Much like using Jerry Seinfeld years after his TV show was a hit.
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
With all the distros out there vying for this, I'm sure this will end up being like Spartacus.
User: Which one of you is Linux?
Ubuntu: I am Linux!
Gentoo: No, I am Linux!
Red Hat: No, I am Linux!
SuSE: Don't listen to them - I am Linux!
Shouts from Slackware, YellowDog, DamnSmallLinux and thousands of others fill the air.
Funtime Candy Wow! - my plan for eventually conquering Japan.
IBM Won.
How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
A man walks to a corner and is solicited by two ladies of the evening.
(Windows) [dressed in fishnet and miniskirt] - "Wanna have a good time baby? I'm very popular, I do _all_ the fun things. [pause] I'm cheap."
(Mac) [catholic schoolgirl look with heavy makeup] - "Take me sweetie! I'm fun too and I'm cuter! [giggle, then dead serious] Not cheap."
[Mac and Windows get into a hair pulling fight while Marketing, old leering suited man, pulls up a jello filled wading pool.]
(Linux) [A girl next door type walks up] "Hi again, wanna grab dinner, [pause] I'm buying."
(Man) "Sure. Wait, you're buying? Do you expect to get paid?"
(Linux) "No, it might be nice if you buy some time, but that's up to you.
(Man) Dutch?
B) Eliminate all the stupid users. This is frowned upon by society.
Are they looking for accuracy, or persuasiveness?
Walk up to somebody in your local [insert supermarket here]. Ask them if they use Linux. Ask them if they've HEARD of Linux.
The chances of those two answers being "yes" is going to be low, lower than if you ask about Windows or Mac. Why? Because Microsoft and Apple put their names out there! What does the Linux community do? We make blogs. And give out free CDs. Guess who else gives out free CDs? AOL. Guess what they turn in to? Coasters.
Not everybody cares about their computer as much as you do. Furthermore, non-technical people don't have the time or desire to search the internet and learn all about Linux. Why? Because their Windows/Mac computers work for them and they don't see a need to change. So we need to actively show them why Linux is so great, and do it through the same channels as Microsoft and Apple.
The least effective way to get somebody to do something is to make them go out of their way to do it.
"Linux" per se is not an OS, it is a set of common libraries and standards that is shared by many OSs. Heck, binaries compiled for one Linux distro won't even work on half the others (reason I mentioned this is because binary incompatibility is a good way to distinguish between customizations of a single OS, as opposed to different OSs, which, while belonging to the same family, are just that - DIFFERENT OSs.
Advertising Linux is like advertising x86 architecture or the Unix Standard. It may be useful for engineers, programmers, or adiministrators, but not to end users. The fact that all Linux distros share the same kernel is about as useful to end users as telling them that their particular Chevy model uses the same engine block as a dozen other cars from GM. The service technician will need to know this, not the end user. The end users need to know WHAT a distro does, not HOW it does it. And every distro does things differently, and for a good reason - it is optimized for a particular audience and a particular way of doing things. By definition, that means that a single distro can't please eveyone - and shouldn't try to.
Advertise Ubuntu. Advertise Red Hat. Advertise Gentoo. Pick a market and promote the Linux brand that suits that market best. And if someone else isn't happy about your choice, they can go and advertise their own distro to their own target audience.
Linux distros need to start adopting a good old capitalist trick known as USING A BRAND.
Yeah, I mean, just look at virtual desktops! OS X and Windows had those years before Lin... Oh, right, it was actually the other way around. And Windows still haven't got it.
-- Linux user #369862
The best contribution won't be a single person, but this huge contribution of several people. Linux isn't one OS for one person. It is embedded. It is desktop. It is server. It runs the cloud. It runs your phone. It runs your coffee maker. Ir runs the web. It runs super-computers. It is the unspoken hero. It is a rock-star.
The only video representation of one character that fits Linux is a representation of all these characters.
http://blindscribblings.com - Tasty pop-culture in conceptual fashion.
The answer, then, should be a Mac / PC ad spinoff where the "Mac" and "PC" start their banter, then "Linux" comes out as a Borg, injects itself into both, and we end up with all three as part of the Linux "community".
Picture an I'm a Mac/I'm a PC commercial as they typically start!
Richard Stallman shouts from offstage, "I'm linux, and I'm freee free FREEEE"
He the proceeds to prance naked around stage throwing rose petals to the ground as the other two are stricken with a deep terror.
Freeeee! Free freeeeee!
"Strangers have the best candy" -Me
[Start with a semi-closeup of a hairy stoner type, you know, facial hair like alan cox and rms]
Hi man, I'm Linux.
[Move quickly to the right to a similar shot of a tie-wearing IBM type]
Hi, I'm also Linux.
[Move to a series of government types standing in a line behind one another, so that it's obvious there's many of them even if the face of only one is visible]
(all of them speak loudly) Hi, we're also Linux.
[Move to an obvious university student, make him a transfer student from abroad, japanese or chinese or italian or something, with an accent]
Herro, I Linux arso.
[Two or three similar shots follow, including just a Joe Random type and a blue-collar office secretary or beancounter type. All say something to the effect of their also being Linux.]
[Finishing shot: zoom out to show all of those featured before, standing in a row, and eventually fade them to black. Voiceover: GNU/Linux, it's for all of us.]
Licensed under CC-BY-SA, free to film or print out and shove up own eyehole or something. If you want to, send adulations somehow using Slashdot, I can't honestly be arsed to have a proper e-mail address.
The key to the Mac and PC commercials has been their positioning.
Apple's Macs are all-in-one machines, that come with both hardware and software. So it's easy for them to position their avatar and straw man appropriately to showcase the advantages of their platform versus Microsoft's. "I'm a has-it-all-together Mac, you're a slightly confused yet assertive PC. Gee, why am I simpler to set up and use?"
Microsoft sells just the software, so they aimed to take the focus off of the 'whole package' aspect and instead focus on the users. Hence their "I'm a PC" campaign. (Incidentally, someone needs to tell Microsoft that PC stands for 'Personal Computer,' and not 'Person using a Computer'..)
The proper Linux positioning should be about Open Source, and how everyone contributes. So instead of an "I'm Linux" response, I'd suggest "We're Linux." Unlike how Microsoft's approach bends the meaning of words 'til they break, "We're Linux" would actually ring true on a lot of levels, from all of the different people whose pieces are put together to make one distribution, to the number of distributions available, to the sheer number of platforms that Linux has been ported to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-22EpQOm8c&feature=related
Computers suck.
Except for ending slavery, the Nazis, communism, & securing American independence, war has never solved anything.
Stallman would never say "I'm Linux". ;-)
Script suggestion: Have someone saying "I'm Linux", yelling starts off-camera, camera pans over sort of haphazardly, and Stallman launches into a rant about how it's GNU/Linux.
10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
I like this one the best
http://incredimazing.com/page/Hi_Im_Vista
I've seen the "I'm a PC" ads microsoft has been putting out, i particularly like the slogan "Life without walls".. but has anyone considered that there's no need for windows if you don't have any walls?
http://spamdecoy.net - free throwaway anonymous email - avoid spam!
I'll tell you the commercial they'd like to do, if they could, and I guarantee you, if they could, they'd do this, right here:
Here's the woman's face, beautiful.
Camera pulls back, naked breast.
Camera pulls back, she's totally naked. Legs apart.
Two fingers, right here, and it just says, "I'm Linux".
Now I don't know the connection here, but goddamn if Ubuntu isn't on my download list that week. -- Bill Hicks
Squirrel!
Mac and PC are arguing in the foreground, while the whole time they debate there is a guy in the background in coveralls and a hard hat digging a ditch with a large spool of cable nearby.
They argue for a while then eventually notice the third guy.
"Who's that?"
"Oh, that's Linux. Wow...he really looks busy, doesn't he?"
With puzzled looks on their faces they watch him busily dig for a while longer, then cut to the logo.
"Linux. Working hard to bring you the net since 1991."
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
How about...
PC and Mac, between them, a bucket. "I'm a PC", "I'm a Mac". Voice says "what's in the bucket". PC says nothing. Mac says quietly "...it's Linux". Voice says "is that it? Is that all Linux does?" Camera shakes, gopher runs on and throws something into the bucket. "Iyum GNU" says the bucket, over a ghostly voice saying "Linux". "We can't make an ad out of this people!" - gopher runs on again, empties pockets, bits of string, bogeys, blu-tack, nails, gaffer tape into bucket. Bucket says "Ahhhh... I am open source and we are legion" in a scary voice. PC and Mac look scared. Pat Volkerding appears (as if by magic) and taps the bucket with a wand. Swirl! A tron light cycle with the Slackware logo on the side appears out of the bucket, Pat jumps on and Pyoon - disappears on a band of light. A guy in a Space suit comes in and taps the bucket with his wand and Swirl, and a beautiful (maybe with a deep tan?) blonde with an Ubuntu sash and a promising look in her eye should appear, and they skip off arm in arm. PC stares, agape, and Mac looks on disapprovingly. Gopher guy rushes on again and shouts into the bucket "Hey Linux, gimme an Ubuntu!". Nothing happens. PC taps him on the shoulder and says "you don't want her, try me, only 500 bucks". Gopher guy backs away in disgust. Mac says "you could always 'go large', amigo, only a kilo". Gopher guy cringes. Bucket swirls with light. Some red headwear appears, with a handsome, if slightly effeminate guy underneath. "I could sssave you sssome sscentsss'. Gopher guys shows some lower teeth. Bucket swirls some more and lots of attractive people, wearing sashes and t-shirts with distro names on, appear out of the bucket, chorusing "we're all free - where are we going?". Gopher guy does the Wizard of Oz dance off set, arm-in-arm with the distros, laughing his head off, to some Mardi Gras-style music.
It's a first cut, let me know, ok?
Have a T shirt with "I'm Linux" on it. Have PC and Mac lookalikes say "I'm a PC" and "I'm a Mac". They put on the I'm Linux T and they say "We still work". Have some old guy come in and say "I'm an old computer". He puts it on and says "I still work". etc.
It's more of an anti-Vista ad, but I think it gets a point across. Maybe throw "I'm free" on the back of the T.
Heroscape, it's like legos combined with anachronistic wargames.
And that lovely lemony fragrance! :)
(lightbulb)
I know! Could this be a case for (roll of drums) Forced Car Analogy ?
-------
(blank white studio interior).
(white stretch limo draws up, filling screen).
(driver, Vince Vaughn, wearing lots of gold jewelery sticks head and arm out of the window, and starts shouting to camera).
"HI! I drive a MAC, cos MAC's show you've got CASH to FLASH! The Macintosh is the most EXPENSIVE computer. It don't fit in no standard parking bays, and it don't get many miles to a tank, but when its runs outta gas, YOU JUST BUYS YOU A NEW ONE!! "
(beams)
(camera pulls back, now another car pulls up in parallel, filling the screen. In the background, we can just about see some activity relating to the limo driving away.)
(the new car is a more standard US car, black, but with fake bodywork panels of a different colour (some white) badly attached with stickytape and screws to try and make it look larger and more limo-like. It has an incongruous rear spoiler, fluffy dice and large "General Autos" logos everywhere. )
"I got a Microsoft. It's ... well, actually it's not really all that great, but it was a little bit cheaper than the Apple." (pulls a glum smile)
"And when bits fall off, you can get people to fix it. There's support places everywhere."
(car judders, makes conga-conga-conga-CONK noise, followed by clatter of exhaust falling off)
(camera pulls back again, car dissolves)
(small car, VW Golf or similar, speeds into frame, stops, driver glances over their shoulder at camera and states a single word).
"Linux"
(car speeds off again)
=Linux end-credits splash screen=
(silence. different car, larger, different colour, speeds into frame and screeches to a halt. It has the same driver This time the driver doesn't turn to look at the camera, but stays looking directly ahead, and they rev the engine and calmly put on a pair of sunglasses).
"And it's free."
(driver slams puts their foot down and car leaves the screen at high speed).
(screen is now blank) (distant noise of high-speed car activity coming and going)
Voiceover:
"SOMEONE's using Linux"
Eric Baird