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South Carolina Seeking To Outlaw Profanity

MBGMorden writes "It looks like in an act that defies common sense, a bill has been introduced in the South Carolina State Senate that seeks to outlaw the use of profanity. According to the bill it would become a felony (punishable by a fine up to $5000 or up to 5 years in prison) to 'publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.' I'm not sure if 'in writing' could be applied to the internet, but in any event this is scary stuff."

45 of 849 comments (clear)

  1. Cancel my trip to Charleston by Bemopolis · · Score: 5, Funny

    Fuck that shit.

    --
    "I guess the moral of the story is, don't paint your airship with rocket fuel." -- Addison Bain
    1. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by stonedcat · · Score: 0, Funny

      Right up their asses!

      --
      You can't take the sky from me.
    2. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You are fined two credits for violations of the Verbal Morality Statute.

      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
    3. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by BSAtHome · · Score: 4, Funny

      No need to repeat the fucking language or using any shells. You can use the law to wipe your ass instead.

    4. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by melikamp · · Score: 4, Funny

      Using only the words found in the Bible:

      Shut the hell up, you damn ass whore!

      -Bart Simpson

    5. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by Ecuador · · Score: 5, Funny

      Depends on your translation/edition. So, it could be:

      Shut the purgatory up, you condemned donkey harlot!

      Still a strong statement of course...

      --
      Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Polar Scope Align for iOS
    6. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by trolltalk.com · · Score: 3, Funny

      To continue on the "only words in the bible" theme: Piss on that, bastards!

    7. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by mabhatter654 · · Score: 5, Funny

      God wrote the Bible in King James, it's the only "real" Bible. The Jews just got an early copy.

    8. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by QuasiEvil · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm confused as to which word "ass" is attached to. Am I...

      a) an "ass whore", implying that I prostitute my ass?

      or...

      b) a whore with a damned ass?

      Please, for the love of damn ass whores everywhere, be more fucking specific.

    9. Re:Cancel my trip to Charleston by religious+freak · · Score: 3, Funny

      And the Mormons got v2.0

      --
      If you can read this... 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01100101 01100101 01101011
  2. Re:Ouch by reeeh2000 · · Score: 5, Funny

    fuck, now i have to go to the fucking state house and tell Sanford and all the other asshole to gtfo. Who's with me! Imagine, a bunch of Slashdotters holding up signs that say Get the Fuck out. I hate living in this state with these fucking retards. Fuck!

  3. Definition by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well? What is it? You need to define profanity before you can outlaw it.

    Frankly I find skinny good looking women who wear too much clothing to be vulgar. I find the number three pronounced as free offensive. I think puppies are indecent

    However, I find skinny good looking women who wear next to no clothing - acceptable.

  4. Well... by Endo13 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I checked the calendar and today is definitely not April 1st, so somewhere this story must ultimately lead back to an Onion.

    --
    There is no -1 Disagree mod. Slashdot.org/faq defines mod options. USE IT.
  5. Re:Ouch by zobier · · Score: 4, Funny

    The one article where the trolls and flamebait would be on-topic and you go and post a reasonable FP!

    --
    Me lost me cookie at the disco.
  6. What I expected by Daimanta · · Score: 3, Funny

    Slashdotters are courageously rebelling against this law by using a lot of swearwords.

    Thanks Slashdot, the worlds takes nerds more seriously right now.

    --
    Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power lost.
    1. Re:What I expected by Bayoudegradeable · · Score: 4, Funny

      Thanks Slashdot, the worlds takes nerds more seriously right now.

      Yes, that's right, ALL of the worlds... Bow the motherfuck down, bitch!

      --
      Sig Registration Form 34c_766(a) submitted to Ministry of Signature Management. Approval pending.
  7. A self-defeating law by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Personally, I hope to all that is holy that this law is passed, if only for its sheer comedic value.

    The scene is right out of some zany kids' movie:

    It is a dark and stormy night. The heroic legislators have finally passed a law outlawing all profanity! These heroes came up with a list of the specific words that will never again be used; but, of course, they had to write those words into the text of the law.

    The vote passes unanimously. Society is saved! Never again will awful words be spoken! But wait... there is one source of those dirty words still! The law itself is now illegal, because it contains instances of those awful terrible swear words. Black-helmeted police commandos enter the legislature and arrest the legislators who wrote the law in the first place. After all, they printed that illegal profanity.

    During the trial, the lawyers are arrested for saying the dirty words that the legislators wrote; the judge is removed from office for violating that law as well. Paralegals everywhere are arrested for preparing legal briefs that contain the dirty words those legislators wrote, and police themselves are arrested for repeating the reason the legislators were arrested in the first place. Newspapers are shut down for "making available" the text of the offending law.

    I'll be sitting far, far away, watching the fireworks.

  8. Re:Saelorn by Thiez · · Score: 5, Funny

    Reminds me of this: http://www.bash.org/?178890

  9. Re:Pah! by Scrameustache · · Score: 3, Funny

    South Carolina, did you elect a pack of retards

    That's representative democracy for you!

    --

    You can't take the sky from me...

  10. You know what they say by DesScorp · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you outlaw profanity, only outlaws will have profanity.

    --
    Life is hard, and the world is cruel
  11. oy by Ethanol · · Score: 5, Funny

    As my five-year-old son used to say when he was experimenting with profanity but hadn't gotten the hang of it yet, "Oh, for heaven's fuck."

  12. A miracle of stupidity. by dweller_below · · Score: 5, Funny

    I thought that my legislators were 'World Class' crazy (Utah).

    It looks like we aren't even playing in the big leagues.

    This level of crazy is a delicate balancing act. You have to be dumb enough to think that this is a good idea, but somehow manage to keep from drowning in the shower.

    Is there any way to tell if the responsible parties have indoor plumbing? How do they avoid rain?

    Miles

  13. Re:Saelorn by BSAtHome · · Score: 4, Funny

    That is, for the lack of a better description, a fucking good joke!

  14. Nice category image... by 6Yankee · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...but what does that Perl do?

  15. Kansas envy by Cajun+Hell · · Score: 4, Funny

    Creationism was already taken.

    There are still many ways states can distinguish themselves, though. Try re-legalizing slavery. Have a governor declare himself the State Duke for life. Totally outlaw alcohol. Declare pi to be 3.0. Require residents to quarter soldiers.

    --
    "Believe me!" -- Donald Trump
  16. Re:Fuck Yes. by Maestro485 · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's an interesting way to show support for a bill.

  17. Two thoughts by merreborn · · Score: 3, Funny

    a felony punishable by a fine up to $5000 or up to 5 years in prison

    Who the fuck thought that shit was a reasonable punishment for such a minor fucking transgression? Lemme get this fucking straight -- you can drive 100 miles an hour down the god damn freeway, potentially putting fucking lives at risk, and probably get off with no more than a few days in jail, at worst, but if you fucking swear in the process, you're looking at five fucking years?

    What the fuck?

    It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

    Well, at least they had the foresight to clearly define a standard for determining what is and isn't profanity. And clearly outlined the ways in which this wouldn't constitute a violation of the first amendment.</sarcasm>

  18. It's MUCH worse than that! by sbaker · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wait - it's MUCH worse than that:

    "...publishes orally or in writing, exhibits, or otherwise makes available anything obscene to any a group or individual;" ...so exhibiting anything obscene to any individual...is illegal? Doesn't that mean that I can't get naked with my g/f?

    --
    www.sjbaker.org
  19. Re:Ouch by Hojima · · Score: 2, Funny

    Since this will soon be illegal, please allow me to say it: FUCK THIS STATE

    Ironically, it will be legal to say that in secessionville. Doesn't sound so stupid now does it?

  20. Re:Q: What's worse than obscenity? A: Statism! by TheSpoom · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hey guys, let's completely ignore the discussion and talk about my pet issue instead!

    --
    It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
    - E. Debs
  21. I call Dibbs! by DnemoniX · · Score: 2, Funny

    Seriously I call dibbs on www.fuck-south-carolina.com

  22. Hey surprise ... by golodh · · Score: 2, Funny

    I had always thought that it would be Alabama who would come up with a bill like that. And now this. I feel cheated.

  23. An important announcement on Dewey Implications by jeko · · Score: 2, Funny

    Attention South Carolina Librarians:

    In re "Section 16-15-370. (A) It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

    Please remove the following material with Dewey Decimal numbers; 000-100, 100-200, 200-300, 400-500 ...

    Hmmm. Maybe this would be easier if we said what could stay...

    OK, 801-805 are OK ....

    Well, there is that one, and that one... Never mind.

    Hmmm....

    Oh, GOOD, number 623.43 is definitely OK ... well, it would be if you ripped out page 46... and 58... and probably 124...

    (aside) Look, just find something, OK, ya sure?

    All right, number 234.98 is absolutely OK if you ignore chapter 12... and 43...

    Fuck it. Shit, just torch the damn place...

     

    --
    He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."
  24. Re:Ouch by svnt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, since you've already broken statute 16-15-250, and are now subject to fines and up to three years of imprisonment, I'd suggest you stay home.

    Oh, and Jesus loves you.

  25. Re:Ouch by svnt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Since he references a law that doesn't exist in his bill, I think there is a strong possibility that many other state Senators would agree with you.

  26. Re:Ouch by Skrapion · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey, not all religion is bad. As a devout frisbeetarianist, let me be the first to say:

    Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits.

    --
    The details are trivial and useless; The reasons, as always, purely human ones.
  27. Re:Ouch by terjeber · · Score: 4, Funny

    So who is in your state government related to this chick anyway?

    In South Carolina? Everybody?

  28. Make that State wear a helmet by srobert · · Score: 2, Funny

    John Stewart said something on the Daily Show about certain States in our country that should be required to where a helmet at all times.

  29. When correctly viewed... by AetherBurner · · Score: 2, Funny

    Everything is lewd.

    With apologies to Tom Lehrer.

  30. Re:Mod Parent Up (was: Ouch) by Firehed · · Score: 3, Funny

    And you can't define them in the law, because to do so would be made illegal by the very law banning them.

    Oh recursion, how we love thee. I never thought I'd use it to defend my first amendment rights (not that swearing has anything to do with Free Speech, strictly speaking), but there you go.

    --
    How are sites slashdotted when nobody reads TFAs?
  31. Re:Ouch by SwabTheDeck · · Score: 2, Funny

    I've though this would be a great way to make a woman-free, child-free club by having a "swearing club" where men could exercise their freedom of speech...

    Coming from California myself, it's hard to imagine a place that doesn't already have a gay bar.

  32. Profanisaurus by Snospar · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sounds like you all need to go out and buy the latest copy of the Profanisaurus, subtitled "The Magna Farta". This is the "World's Sweariest Dictionary" compiled by Viz magazine with over 10,000 rude words and phrases.

    Should give you plenty of new phrases to use in your protest letters - many of which will not be understood by those in power unless they too resort to looking them up!

    Plus this is one of those books which is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud - much like this new law.

    --
    Moore's law is not a law. Theory, yes; Predictable trend, certainly; Law, no.
  33. Re:Goddamn it, I am really fucking pissed off! by justleavealonemmmkay · · Score: 2, Funny

    guy is wearing jacket in the county courthouse (but not in the courtrooms) which reads "fuck the draft." Is convicted for disturbing the peace

    Oh the irony...

  34. Re:Ouch by Timberwolf0122 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Will someone please fax the honorable senator a copy of the constitution, a copy of US history oh and the Nigger Guy episode of southpark.

    --
    In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D.
  35. Re:Ouch by cbiltcliffe · · Score: 2, Funny

    What are you talking about?

    It is a snack.....

    --
    "City hall" in German is "Rathaus" Kinda explains a few things......