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Illinois Declares Pluto a Planet
The Bad Astronomer writes "The legislators in Illinois, always on the lookout for more places to find voters, have passed a resolution declaring Pluto is a planet. I'm not sure what else can be said here, except that — besides overstepping their jurisdiction just a wee bit — they make a couple of scientific howlers in the resolution itself."
Everybody knows Pluto is a dog.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Slashdot declares Illinois retarded
and I declare Illinois a corn field.
You can't handle the truth.
Yo mama is so fat...Illinois declared her a planet
Yo mama is so ugly, astronomers who look at her think they're looking at Jupiter's moon IO
Yo mama is so old, her boyfriends CARBON-date her
Yo mama is so old and fat, her stomach is actually fusing helium with neon to produce magnesium just before she turns into a neutron star!
Yo mama is so ugly, that when computer scientists look at her, they are immediately reminded of Edsger Dijkstra's letter "Go To Statement Considered Harmful" because they don't want to "Go To" her.
Ok, that last one got me severely beaten up on the playground when I was a kid, but the rest are funny and hardly trollish.
Karma: Excellent. 15 moderator points expire sometime.
If they shorten the mile enough, they can also change the name to meter.
Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
People of Illinois,
we have duly noted your recent reconsideration of Pluto and its classification. We appreciate this sign of good-will and will take it into account in our upcoming invasion of Earth.
Although I can make no promises at this point, I am able to inform you that sparing your lives is currently viewed favourably amongst our population.
Yours sincerely,
Gral Rex,
Minister of Earth Affairs, Government of Pluto
p.s. to the rest of mankind: You are all still toast.
Being a planet is a valuable thing. So, how much did it cost Pluto?
[Insert pithy quote here]
But -- they did it for the children! We wouldn't want children to become confused with Pluto being listed as a planet in their old, out-of-date text books while the general consensus in the scientific community is that Pluto is a big snowball. Declare legislatively that Pluto is a planet and -- poof -- there you go! No more confused children!
My blog
Don't argue. There's already three astronomers at the bottom of Lake Michigan who "begged to differ."
It's the Chicago way.
Thank you for turning emotionally scarring events in your life into /. humor. We can hardly wait to see what you will post when the topic is sex. ;)
There are 8 planets in the universe right now, does that make you happy?
In the UNIVERSE? Might as well say the Earth is flat.
SIG: HUP
There's an easy solution to that, just use 100 year old science texts, Pluto won't be in them at all.
Gah, foiled again by the bearded lady.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power lost.
You used Edsger Dijkstra references as a kid? I don't think it was the "Yo mama" insults that got you beat up on the playground!
Yeah, but some might say you get what you've been given, if you don't get yours I won't get mine as well. Doesn't make it so. My sink isn't full of fishes for a start.
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
CHICAGO - Federal authorities have indicted several Illinios Senators on corruption charges after an undercover investigation. According to tapes released, Senators called a number of planetoids asking "what they could get" for the title of planet. Rod Blagojevich was unavailable for comment.
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Our President came from this state. I think I'll start stockpiling canned foods, ammo, and guns like the rest of the hillbilly's down south.
What they do in their own time should be their own business.
Yeah. I vote that Illinois also changes the definition of a mile and shortens it so that their residents can get more miles to the gallon! I also vote that they cut the definition of an hour down to 30mins to shorten my working day.
LOL. Next time it'll be a someone saying a gigabtye is 1,000,000,000 bytes!
We were lost, none of us knew where we were. Then Harry starts 'feeling around on all the trees' and he says... "I got it we on Pluto", I say, 'Harry how can ya tell", and he says, "from the bark, you dummies... Ha-ha! From the bark!"
"I only speak the truth"
Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
Illinois redefines "retarded" to mean "most smartiest place in the world."
Genesis 1:32 And God typed
a gigabtye might be, I don't know what that is.
I think we can keep recursing like this until someone returns 1
Frankly, the more time they spend doing silly crap like this, the less time the spend screwing something important up. It's too bad it wastes tax dollars to do it, though...
Would you rather that they go after hookers on craigslist?
I believe that would qualify as "screwing something important up."
"Yo mama is so ugly, astronomers who look at her think they're looking at Uranus."
Sorry, I had to.
Free Martian Whores!
Pluto: "I'm being what?"
Astrological society: "Demoted... you're being demoted."
Pluto: "I don't understand... why?"
Astrological society: "Honestly, your just not up to code, you know? Most planets have certain criteria they must follow, criteria that you just don't meet. You understand right?"
Pluto: "I sure as hell do not!"
Astrological society: "Well, it's like this... realistically... well, your an ice cube, basically and well... we mistook for a real planet. But we do apologize for the confusion."
Pluto: "OMG. This is so embarrassing."
Illinois: "It's okay Pluto we understand. Hey... how would like to be governor? Seriously, we have a spot open all the time? Tell you what, if you agree to govern us then we'll let you be a planet."
Pluto: "Uhm... you do realize that in all reality, I am a giant ice cube right?"
Illinois: "That is neither her nor there... look, when the time is right... it'll happen. You seem like a smart fellow, and together I think we can get a lot accomplished. Just remember though, when things go bad, you have to go back to being an ice cube. We don't need you parading your mistakes around for the whole galaxy to see like that last guy."
sudo apt-get lost
My penis IS a mile long, you insensit-
......Sorry, got a bit excited and blacked out there for a while ......
-ive clod!
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