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New Laser System Targets Mosquitoes
An anonymous reader writes "In the Cold War the so-called 'Star Wars defense system' proposed using lasers to destroy incoming Soviet missiles. In a 2007 brainstorming session aimed at combating malaria, Dr. Lowell Wood, the architect of that system, proposed modifying his original idea to kill mosquitoes. The cover of today's Wall Street Journal contains an article that highlights this initiative as well as a few others, like using a giant flashlight to disrupt mosquitoes' vision and using the insects to vaccinate, in the war against malaria. The system is intelligent enough to avoid noncombatants like humans and butterflies and can even tell the difference between females, the blood-drinkers, and males. My favorite quote: 'We'd be delighted if we destabilize the human-mosquito balance of power.'"
Everyone else got hit by lasers?
...but where are you supposed to keep the sharks?
Standing water in your backyard can serve as a breeding ground for mosquitoes, so we advise installing at least a few sharks.
You've obviously never been kept awake all night by a mosquito that, every time you start nodding off, buzzes past your ear! I have. Even if there were no threat of malaria, I'd still be saying "Die you annoying little buzzing mother-fuckers! Die! Die! Die!" How 'bout if we set the lasers up over water to fry the little 6-legged bastards and then let fish eat them... don't you think the fish would appreciate a freshly cooked meal for a change?
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
"So, ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, huh?"
If the geiger counter does not click, the coffee, she is not thick.
Talk about a solution in search of a problem.
Dude, it doesn't matter what the problem is. Lasers are always the solution!
Is this new?? I've seen this movie here the first time in 2005 or something!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSIWpFPkYrk
Well, instead of just disrupting her vision with a laser, I divorced her...
Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
With my Zimbabwen $1000000000 bill. I think that puts the price scale about in line with SDI
As I see it this could serve two purposes at once. The first one has already been stated in taking care of mosquitoes. The other would be if this system were deployed in key locations, we could turn every marsh and swamp in the world into techno/rave hot-spots, thus taking care of another issue I currently have! Brilliant!
"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." -Groucho Marx
"We'd be delighted if we destabilize the human-mosquito balance of power. Yes gentlemen, we're on the way in and no one can bring us back. For the sake of our country and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of our sharks in after them, otherwise we will be totally destroyed by mosquito retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, fourteen hundred megawatts worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going. There's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all."
Then he hung up. We're still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase.
to control infestations of africanized bees
The slang term is "Biggers". Kind of like "Wiggers" only it's in regards to bees.
No, just the squirrels.
Of course surrounding your lair with a water filled moat might not be the best idea if you are wanting to get rid of mosquitoes.
You've obviously never been to Maine. I am willing to take the risk so that I can go camping in the summer time!
Now that I've moved out to California- whenever I hear "It's buggy"- I just have to laugh.
You don't know "buggy" until you've seen a giant mosquito eat a small child... in fact...
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Hell, screw that, give me a laser system to kill carpenter bees and you have yourself a sale.
s/carpenter bees/door-to-door (salesmen|evangelists)/;
or more immediately practical
s/carpenter bees/the SWAT team about to kick in my door/;
The enemies of Democracy are
I don't normally advocate genocide (after the first cup of coffee), but when it comes to mosquitos I find it hard to come up with compelling arguments against.
How bout the genocide of the cute and cuddly smallpox virus? Poor defenseless mother earth once again at the mercy of evil scientists, especially those horrible exploiting capitalists.
I'm sure we can keep some mosquitoes in a liquid nitrogen freezer just in case... until they escape, anyway...
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
is invent a violent video game for mosquitoes, then they'll wipe themselves out in knife fights.
Nullius in verba
The article talks about disrupting their vision. I'm sorry but anything less than little puffs of smoke from mosquitoes being zapped out of the air is unacceptable.
We'd probably just end up breeding a race of laser resistant mosquitoes anyway.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
If the only tool you know how to use is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
Yah, but if the only tool you know how to use is a laser and every problem looks like a space alien, then fuck it, man, I'm on board.
You need to try to imagine more mosquitoes. A hell of a lot more.
Well, insects seem to be able to find a way to make a comeback each time we mess with them. I for one do not want to see what a infrared vision, laser resistant mosquito would be like...
You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
The basic issue is that you have a laser system capable of reaching down into the atmosphere to kill things close to or on the ground. There are two basic problems:
1) That takes a LOT of power. If refueling the original star wars system was likely to be a problem, this is a million times worse.
2) Theoretically such a system could be revised to hit other targets. Who would control it? Suppose terrorists hacked it. Suppose the military co-opted it. All manner of bad things could happen with such a system. For example, imagine if you could blind even a small fraction of New Yorkers, especially those driving on the roads on rush hour.... The effect might be far worse than 9/11.....
I smell a cover for a new more powerful and destabilizing weapons platform in space. The thing simply can't be useful against mosquitos and the only real use I can see would be on the battlefield.
LedgerSMB: Open source Accounting/ERP
Screw the snakes.
In this economy climate, how many Pied Pipers will be laid off?
Virtual Betting on Facebook for non-geeks.
Old. English version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSIWpFPkYrk
"I'm not much interested in interoperability. I want substitutability. I want to be able to throw your software out."
But what if the broken bone is a symptom of a deeper problem? There may be a man with a baseball bat swinging at the patient when he sees blood.
Also, what if the patient has no arms? What exactly are you sewing up then, huh?
The only bad thing i can think of is that professional bicyclists will get even skinnier, mosquitos are probably their biggest source of protein.
Well if you're going to be a self important pendant
Flavor Flav, is that you?
Do not bank towards laser and expose remaining compound eye
There is no right to feel safe thru security vaudeville at the expense of everyone's freedom, privacy and tax money.
You're a fool and a coward. No wonder you posted as AC.
I suppose then the converse must be true then.
That wasn't a Texas mosquito. That was a Canadian mosquito that rode down on a goose to get away from the big ones back home.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
> The basic issue is that you have a laser system capable of reaching down into the atmosphere to kill things close to or on the ground. There are two basic problems:
The first being, I really don't think anyone is suggesting we nuke mosquitoes from orbit. I mean, that would be really cool, and if they do it that way I hope I get a chance to see it in action. I can just imagine the gentle sparkle of flaming mosquitoes lighting up the twilight sky over Khartoum. It would be a tourist attraction.
But, reading the article, they talk about must shorter distances, like, say, across the room. Although disappointing, this kind-of solves the power problem, and the hijacking problem, and the destabilizing weapons platform in space problem. (We'll leave that last one to the Chinese.)
I don't have an opinion about blinding commuters from space, except to say the view from space is pretty much straight down, so you'd have to get a bunch of commuters to all look up at the same time. But if you could do that, blinding them would be redundant.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.