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How Do I Make My Netbook More Manly?
basementman writes "I recently purchased a 10 inch white MSI wind. As you can see it's a small computer and it's good for what I use it for. I get a lot of comments from women saying it is 'cute' or 'adorable.' Not the good kind of cute that will get me the attention I want though, the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray. So how can I make my netbook more manly, or at least have some witty line to respond to the their comments?" Hopefully basementman didn't get a netbook with the hopes of it getting him some action, but what cool mods (or witty one-liners) have others used to salvage their dignity from hardware that is "a good size"?
Heavy metal stickers. Lots of them!
Add a dongle?
Run Linux on it, not windows.
Why on earth would you want to make your netbook more manly? You've already lured them in - so pounce! Buy them a skinny mocha chino latte, gaze into their eyes and suggest 10 inches is enough for most people.
* Cover it with metal spikes and skulls.
* Tie it to the front grill of a Hummer.
* Convert it into an ammo clip for an Uzi.
* Build a beer helmet around it and wear it on your head
* Program it to make fart noises every time your finger is pulled. With a name like "wind", you could even pretend it came that way from the factory.
* Put an Oakland Raiders logo on it.
* Tie it to the back of a pit bull with a chain collar.
* Put it down your pants for some "natural male enhancement".
* Tie it to your stomach (under your shirt), and tell woman to punch it so they can feel how hard your "abs" are.
* Keep it open and playing a heavy metal video nonstop at full volume. Make sure there are plenty of half naked women being objectified in it.
* Tell the girls you have a small notebook because you have no reason to compensate for anything else.
Really, the possibilities are endless.
I told my girlfriend next year she wasn't invited and I was just going to bring the dog.
So how long was it before you regained consciousness?
I'm a man, and I'm seriously considering getting a pink laptop. I mean, I already have a pink DS, and from what I hear, pink things are stolen much less frequently due to this bizarre stigma most men seem to have against it. Besides, a pink laptop would totally compliment my new lip stiCHAINSAW and nail polMOTORCYCLE.
/*No comment*/ #No comment
"Yes, it is very, very cute isn't it. Wanna fuck?"
Years ago, I was waiting in the rain at the staff parking lot for the college newspapers to arrive so I could earn my work-study $4.25/hour delivering them around campus. The college president came out, made some snide remark about our dedication, then got in his red corvette. Our editor, a tall Texan woman, muttered "nice car", and as he drove off, yelled "Sorry about your penis!"
Shiny cars were last generation's penis-compensation trip. This generation, they're laptops. Let's face it: we carry them around with us everywhere, we always insist on using our own, we're proud of its power or versatility, and we carry it with us into the bathroom. It's a penis.
Most women with braincells are going to recognize that, and infer every other corollary. Guys with big laptops with more power than they ever use are likely compensating for something else. If a guy can come up with something "cute", maybe he knows he can deliver.
Of course, big, powerful and macho will impress the boys down at the server farm. Come to think of it, the big marketing whole right now is the lack of laptop commercials along the lines of pickup trucks: big burly men, toiling on the server farm. Country music blasts as foreman-looking nerd with glistening muscles and big hands drops a big-ass render project onto his Dell XPS, drops the sucks -- still running -- into his shoulder bag, and walks out the door into the sweet light of sunset.
Sure, but the best relationships are secure enough that if one partner hints they sometimes think about other people, the other partner says, "Well, let's have her over for drinks".
Or so I've heard.
Or fantasized.
Actually, I read about it in Penthouse Forum.
(offstage shouting)
Yes honey, I forgot, I'm so sorry, I'll go pick up tampons at the store for you -- I'm leaving right now. (That's how relationships actually work, in my experience).
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
If your that insecure
Parser error, line 1, near "that"
Bow-ties are cool.
Excuse me, you just described my new fantasy.
I just got done trying that and I got escorted out! Maybe you should have mentioned that the kitten should be alive.
"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right" - Salvor Hardin
This has been my answer for years, any time someone tries to ridicule my subcompact car:
"You know how some guys get big SUVs or sports cars to compensate for their sexual inadequacy? I'm doing the same thing, just the other way 'round."
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