Conficker Worm Strike Reports Start Rolling In

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Conficker Worm Strike Reports Start Rolling In

Posted by Soulskill on Wednesday April 1, 2009 @02:10AM from the be-on-the-lookout dept.

Nieriko writes "Reports are trickling in about the impact from the Conficker worm, as infected systems passed zero hour at midnight and began downloading additional malicious components. Here are a couple of the more notable incidents caused by Conficker so far, according to published reports: — '... shortly after midnight local time, an ATM in the capital city of Reykjavik began spewing 100-Krona notes. ... A nuclear missile installation near Elmendorf Air force Base outside of Anchorage, Alaska briefly went on a full-scale military alert after technicians manning the bunker suspected that several of their control systems were infected with Conficker.'"

87 of 508 comments (clear)

I think its infected my car. by SuperBry · 2009-04-01 02:11 · Score: 5, Funny

All my radio stations were switched to fox news radio.
1. Re:I think its infected my car. by niskel · 2009-04-01 02:22 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  They just want to make sure you become a properly informed citizen from a reliable and unbiased source!
2. Re:I think its infected my car. by gollito · 2009-04-01 02:31 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  No more biased than any of the other stations.
  They all have agendas.
3. Re:I think its infected my car. by notarockstar1979 · 2009-04-01 02:32 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  No, I did that on my way out this morning. By the way, tell your mom I said hey.
4. Re:I think its infected my car. by orthancstone · 2009-04-01 02:35 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  All may have agendas (not necessarily true), but some are more biased than others (yes, Fox News fits in that category).
5. Re:I think its infected my car. by vlm · 2009-04-01 02:41 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  All my radio stations were switched to fox news radio.
  A station that is not clearchannel still exists?
  
  --
  "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
6. Re:I think its infected my car. by Anonymous Coward · 2009-04-01 02:42 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  As well as ABC, NBC, CBS, NPR and on and on and on.
7. Re:I think its infected my car. by neomunk · 2009-04-01 02:43 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  university-elitist brainwashing...
  Most people call that "learning".
8. Re:I think its infected my car. by WgT2 · 2009-04-01 02:50 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  Your list is but an understatement of the depth of their leanings... at least Fox gives a conservative view - whereas the others do NOT.
  What is amazing is that the real haters of Fox don't acknowledge the bias of the others. It's completely laughable.
9. Re:I think its infected my car. by Tubal-Cain · 2009-04-01 02:51 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Sure. I'll be swinging by the cemetery later anyways.
10. Re:I think its infected my car. by wizden · 2009-04-01 02:55 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  They are going to start selling water made from his tears.
11. Re:I think its infected my car. by beadfulthings · 2009-04-01 03:12 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Oh, it's a lot worse than that! My laptop keeps telling me that all my base are belong to them, but it won't tell me who they are...
  
  --
  "Here's what's happening. You're starting to drive like your Dad..." - Red Green
12. Re:I think its infected my car. by Talderas · 2009-04-01 03:16 · Score: 3, Interesting
  
  Some of my scripts spit out 9.5 GB log files.
  See?
  http://img25.imageshack.us/my.php?image=goodlogsgonebad.png
  
  --
  "Lack of speed can be overcome. In the worst case by patience." --Znork
13. Re:I think its infected my car. by ganjadude · 2009-04-01 03:22 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  You did it at 4:20 AM... Must have went over board on the doritos and pop
  
  --
  have you seen my sig? there are many others like it but none that are the same
14. Re:I think its infected my car. by Me!+Me!+42 · 2009-04-01 03:37 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  I think its obvious to anyone
  (any "true" anyone.)
  The Conficker Worm is infecting people's brains. Apparently its using Fox News as a vector to turn the viewers into netbots. This represents a significant escalation in virus technology.
  Oh wait, I guess this has bee around for a while.
  
  --
  -- My apologies if the above facts contain any opinions, or vice versa! --
15. Re:I think its infected my car. by Anonymous+Psychopath · 2009-04-01 03:53 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  The degree of bias from Fox/CNN/MSNBC is subjectively scored based on how much you agree with whatever slop they're dishing out.
  In other words, if you believe MSNBC has no bias, then you will also believe that Fox has an extreme bias. The reverse is also true.
  
  --
  Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
16. Re:I think its infected my car. by cjb658 · 2009-04-01 04:11 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I consider myself to be a conservative. From my perspective:
  -Fox News is right leaning
  -CNN is slightly left leaning
  -MSNBC is forward-leaning (because they're getting pounded from behind by the Obama administration)
17. Re:I think its infected my car. by brkello · 2009-04-01 04:25 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  Maybe because time and time again Fox News proves to not have any journalistic integrity. They are the station that have whack jobs like Jack Thompson on all the time since he is an "expert" on video game violence. They only present one side. I mean, Obama addressed the nation and you had Bill O'Reily critiquing it. He isn't a journalist at all, just someone pushing his agenda (somewhat hypocritically). CNN had a team of people discussing what Obama talked about on both sides of the aisle. But then again, CNN has conservative air heads like Campbell Brown on. They also used to have commentaries from Glenn Beck. If you think Fox News is anything but a tool to push an agenda, then you really aren't paying attention. It is not news and I wish there was some way to sue them so they have to take that out of their name until they actually meet some basic journalistic standards.
  
  --
  Support a great indie game: http://www.abaddon360.com
18. Re:I think its infected my car. by brkello · 2009-04-01 04:32 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  I never got the whole elitist thing. So Obama is an elitist because he went to a good school and got good grades? I'd love to be an elitist then. How was McCain not an elite with his war hero background and millions of dollars? Do we want sub-elite people running the country? I don't really think the conservatives thought this insult through very well.
  
  --
  Support a great indie game: http://www.abaddon360.com
19. Re:I think its infected my car. by Crazy+Taco · 2009-04-01 04:35 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Most people call that "learning".
  Learning is the mental absorption and retention of information. Whether the information you learned is true or false is something else again, and I think that's the point he was making. Some universities may, in fact, be causing their students to learn false information. Brainwashing is a form of learning too.
  
  --
  Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
20. Re:I think its infected my car. by kbielefe · 2009-04-01 04:55 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  There are two parts to the Fox News Channel: the journalism part and the editorial part. The journalism part is actually pretty "fair and balanced," and that's the part most people refer to when they talk about media bias. Unfortunately, that part comes on while no one is watching.
  The editorial part is unabashedly conservative, but even they do a better job than the other channels in at least having someone there to provide token opposition. Their bias is very evident because they provide the contrast right there. Other channels with less obvious bias usually will at best tell you the other side's position in their own words.
  
  --
  This space intentionally left blank.
21. Re:I think its infected my car. by drakaan · 2009-04-01 05:09 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Most people call that "learning".
  ...especially those who spent a lot of time and money in a university...
  
  --
  "Murphy was an optimist" - O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
22. Re:I think its infected my car. by bonch · 2009-04-01 05:27 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  You know, nobody has ever given me an example of how Fox News is biased or twists its news. It's just an accepted punchline that nobody questions.
  A UCLA-Stanford media study done a few years ago showed Fox News was the most centrist, with Brit Hume's show being the fairest of all news shows on TV. Naturally, the media didn't report this study very widely.
23. Re:I think its infected my car. by Ian+Alexander · 2009-04-01 05:34 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  at least Fox gives a conservative view - whereas the others do NOT.
  Well duh, reality has a liberal bias. ;)
24. Re:I think its infected my car. by mjhacker · 2009-04-01 05:50 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  So conservatives would be okay with a gay couple deciding to get married? Or with decriminalizing marijuana? Or legalizing liquor sales on sundays? What makes the conservatives any less "elitist" for thinking that they can make better decisions for other people? I shouldn't be barred from buying a bottle of wine on Sunday because it might upset a hyper conservative Christian. Or if I was gay, I shouldn't be barred from entering into a simple legally binding contract with another consenting adult who happened to be the same sex. I'd say it's pretty damned "elitist" to make those decisions based on dogmatic values or personal prejudices.
25. Re:I think its infected my car. by CAIMLAS · 2009-04-01 07:26 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  Not true at all. You think it's more biased, but it's most likely just that you're more violently opposed to the particular brand of bias on Fox than on the other channels. I know that holds true for me, but in the reverse: I can't watch most of those other channels because the fundamental principles ('first beliefs') the reporters hold are plainly evident in the "biased" speech they use when interviewing and discussing - or even the particular slant or perspective they decide to take on a story.
  News isn't so much news anymore as it is an action call from a political perspective. Yes, they're all guilty. One side operates off a "neocon lite" agenda with (at times) a strong seasoning of constitutional fervor, the other operates off of whatever they're calling the leftist agenda to destroy American principles (or the fascist and liberty agendas, respectively - depending on how you're coming at it).
  It's hard (nigh impossible) to not be biased when there is no possible way to actually be unbiased due to the polarization of the political spectrum.
  
  --
  ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
26. Re:I think its infected my car. by bonch · 2009-04-01 07:59 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  A Measure of Media Bias
  Tim Groseclose
  Department of Political Science
  UCLA
  Jeff Milyo
  Department of Economics
  University of Missouri
  December 2004
27. Re:I think its infected my car. by Fastolfe · 2009-04-01 08:59 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Government needs to ONLY recognize "civil union" that can be entered into by any two adult people.
  
  Why only two?
28. Re:I think its infected my car. by brkello · 2009-04-01 09:46 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Your upset because Palin can't answer what newspapers and magazines she read? Give me a break. She was asked questions that any reasonable politician should have been able to answer (hell, I could have answered them) but she failed miserably because she isn't very smart and was a huge judgment mistake my McCain.
  
  The other poster already commented on the journalist thing...but when your news station has a "non-journalist" covering Obama's major speeches, how do you expect rational, logical people to take you seriously? How is it fair and balanced? Really, please try to watch Fox News from a point of view of trying to find facts instead of trying to find viewpoints you agree with. They edit to change meaning, they blow out of proportion non-issues if they are against liberals, they change the little R next to congress members names to Ds when they have sexual relations with their male interns. And people just sit by and act if it is ok. It isn't. This isn't an entertainment show like Rush Limbaugh. It is billed as a news channel, and it fails at that on almost every level.
  
  --
  Support a great indie game: http://www.abaddon360.com
29. Re:I think its infected my car. by techno-vampire · 2009-04-01 09:49 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  Not so. I know people who dislike Fox News because they're liberal and it isn't. Some of them ignore the bias in the stations they listen to, others don't. Several of them freely admit that their favorite stations are just as biased as Fox and that they listen to them because what they hear fits their politics. I have, however, noticed that very few people who openly hate Fox are willing to admit that they're biased because it doesn't fit their views.
  
  --
  Good, inexpensive web hosting
30. Re:I think its infected my car. by techno-vampire · 2009-04-01 11:35 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  I'm a moderate and almost all of them look biased from where I sit. Not that I mind, as long as they're reasonably open about it. It's the ones who pretend to be fair and impartial while only presenting one side of the story and refusing to admit that the other POV even exists that I don't like, and here on the Left Coast, most of those are Very Liberal in their politics.
  
  --
  Good, inexpensive web hosting
31. Re:I think its infected my car. by fractoid · 2009-04-01 19:33 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  "the real haters of Fox" -- Real Scotsman fallacy.
  You're wrong, because a REAL Scotsman wouldn't use a fallacious argument.
  
  --
  Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
ATM by Anonymous Coward · 2009-04-01 02:12 · Score: 3, Funny

Why does MY local ATM never spew out 100 euro notes? :(
1. Re:ATM by Kentaree · 2009-04-01 02:16 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Because you live outside the euro zone?
2. Re:ATM by Robmonster · 2009-04-01 02:31 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  It does, it just debits them from your account like normal.
  
  --
  I have no sig yet I must scream.
3. Re:ATM by commodoresloat · 2009-04-01 06:14 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Wow - I had no idea cocaine was that cheap in Europe!
The damndest thing with these stories today by jollyreaper · 2009-04-01 02:12 · Score: 5, Insightful

It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.

--
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
1. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by Sybert42 · 2009-04-01 02:14 · Score: 2
  
  What if the Singularity went down today?
2. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by JustOK · 2009-04-01 02:18 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  mebbe it did, and we'll just keep repeating this day over and over again, ending in destruction an infinite number of times, and we won't even know enough to say, "Oh no, not again."
  
  --
  rewriting history since 2109
3. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by Sir_Lewk · 2009-04-01 02:20 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  From the article:
  In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.
  
  --
  "linux is just DOS with a UNIX like syntax" -- Galactic Dominator (944134)
4. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by Stan+Vassilev · 2009-04-01 02:20 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.
  Sad reality is Conficker's authors were smart enough to rely on the stupidity of said news publishers.
  
  Disinformation with zero effort, for nearly 48 hours, who wouldn't want to launch their malicious plan on this very day?
5. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by Cristofori42 · 2009-04-01 02:26 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Yeah but since a large percentage of the community (let's go with 84.3%) doesn't R the FA then most of us will never know. But of course since there are so many informative people like you who post the stuff we care about then I guess it's a moot point.
  
  --
  "Is that dad? Either that or Batman's really let himself go."
6. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by themacks · 2009-04-01 02:46 · Score: 3, Informative
  
  according to google it did: http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/cadie/
  
  --
  i read about it in a blog once
7. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by gmuslera · 2009-04-01 04:09 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  The problem with Google announcements is that they released GMail in Apr.1st. Back in its time, gb of free mail space, working spam filter, and even the interface, then that was almost as unbelievable as the pidgeon powered search engine..
  
  What if they REALLY got the singularity, and they are officially announcing it now?
8. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by ultranova · 2009-04-01 04:43 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.
  
  How do you know it's not that part that is the April fool? That is, rather than publishing a fictitious article, make you believe that a legitimate article is untrue?
  
  --
  Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.
9. Re:The damndest thing with these stories today by FiloEleven · 2009-04-01 04:54 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Or maybe they are ALSO infected with Conficker, and it causes news about itself to be riddled with "April Fools!" disclaimers...
  o_O
  
  --
  Your brain is not a computer.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Anthony_Cargile · 2009-04-01 02:14 · Score: 4, Insightful

I hope so, otherwise this is Wargames meets reality. If this is a joke, I didn't laugh because I've been watching this ConFlickr worm closely ever since seeing it in action.
This just in... by Bruiser80 · 2009-04-01 02:14 · Score: 5, Funny

The true nature of the worm has been discovered. Slashdot will be simultaneously accessed by all the infected computers, making Slashdot.org succumb to its own "slashdot effect"

--
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling a pig in the mud. After a while, you realize the engineer enjoys it.
1. Re:This just in... by jgtg32a · 2009-04-01 02:26 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  While 4chan dying sounds like a good thing it isn't, Conficker won't actually kill 4chan users so it will only scatter them, spreading the corruption across the internet.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by mweather · 2009-04-01 02:15 · Score: 4, Funny

They run Windows.
Genius by MyLongNickName · 2009-04-01 02:15 · Score: 5, Insightful

Whoever set this virus up was smart to have things happen on April 1st. I never know if these reports are real or someone is making a joke.

--
See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
1. Re:Genius by schklerg · 2009-04-01 02:19 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  I think the April 1 code that has been so brilliantly discovered may simply be nothing more than a ruse, but as you say, on April 1 it will be tough to tell. And I HATE having mod points on this day of the calendar!
  
  --
  Be Excellent To Each Other
2. Re:Genius by u38cg · 2009-04-01 02:49 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  April 1st is a traditional day for time-based malware to go live, dating back to at least the mid nineties.
  
  --
  [FUCK BETA]
Related Conficker Incident ... by xmas2003 · 2009-04-01 02:16 · Score: 5, Funny

Rick Astly passes away - rolls over in his grave.

--
Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
1. Re:Related Conficker Incident ... by dmneoblade · 2009-04-01 02:30 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  But... he said he'd never run around or desert me. The liar!
  
  --
  Warning, knife is sharp. Please keep out of children.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Anthony_Cargile · 2009-04-01 02:16 · Score: 2, Informative

From TFA:

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

Nevermind, nevermind. 'Twas a good prank.
You can tell who actually RTFA ... by powerlord · 2009-04-01 02:17 · Score: 3, Informative

The end of the Fine Article:

Read on after the jump for more Conficker madness.
In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

--
This space for rent. All reasonable inquiries will be entertained at proprietors discretion.
Local Washington State Radio Reported by h2okies · 2009-04-01 02:18 · Score: 2, Funny

That Bill Gates was finally paying out on his email promises...

--
Beware the Lollipop of Mediocrity, Lick it once and you suck forever.
Reykjavik by Norsefire · 2009-04-01 02:18 · Score: 2, Funny

Having an ATM throwing up 100 Krona notes can't be good for the Icelandic economy.
Conficker strikes by thefear · 2009-04-01 02:19 · Score: 2, Funny

Changing everyones homepage to a youtube rickroll

--
:(
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Em+Emalb · 2009-04-01 02:20 · Score: 5, Informative

Really? I could have sworn the ATM I saw a while back sitting in an "altered" state was running a customized version of OS2.
A while back = a couple years though, so I could see it...

--
Sent from your iPad.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Critical+Facilities · 2009-04-01 02:20 · Score: 5, Funny

I've been watching this ConFlickr worm closely
Take note everyone, this is a variant of the Conficker worm, though much more nefarious. According to preliminary reports, it will harness the power of infected, "zombie" computers to flood the internet with pretty pictures of butterflies, ponies, and various other graphic files. The only sure-fire way to protect yourselves is to do a 'search' on your PC for any file with the .JPG extension and delete it.

Hurry, there is precious little time left. The end is pretty frickin' nigh.
Not funny... by bigdavesmith · 2009-04-01 02:21 · Score: 2, Insightful

There's a difference between a funny april fools joke (see StackOverflow's new Cornify feature) and just being annoying by reporting fake news. I hate to be the downer, but I'd still like to be able to watch /. for good info today. Too bad I guess.
1. Re:Not funny... by JustinOpinion · 2009-04-01 02:40 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  Well different people have different sense of humor. I think it would presumptuous for you or I to claim with any kind of objective authority that this fake news report isn't funny. I'm sure there are plenty of people who think it is.
  I personally don't think it's that funny--but again my point is just that humor is a variable thing. So just because you or I don't get a laugh from it, doesn't mean it isn't funny.
  What is funny, in my opinion, is reading through the Slashdot comments and seeing how many of them are written (non ironically) as if the news report is real. It's funny not because those people are gullible... but because those Slashdot readers basically just read the headline and rushed to post a comment without reading the summary and realizing the whole thing was ridiculous. It's a window into how many posters don't read the article, or even the summary. That makes me chuckle.
Re:April Fools! by Nos. · 2009-04-01 02:22 · Score: 2, Informative

A lot of ATMs run Windows. I know for a fact the RBC (Royal Bank of Canada) do.
The Best April Fools Joke by gurutc · 2009-04-01 02:24 · Score: 3, Insightful

Would be if Conficker does nothing after all the man-hours spent preparing for it.

--
Moderation in All Things... Especially Moderation - gurutc
Re:Non-story by flitty · 2009-04-01 02:25 · Score: 5, Insightful

Can slashdot PLEASE implement a "-1 Missed the April Fool's Day Joke" Moderation option?

--
Whether or not there is some sort of god, I'm not supposed to say/god is a word and the argument ends there-Smog
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Em+Emalb · 2009-04-01 02:26 · Score: 5, Funny

Can you help me? I was able to get rid of all .jpg files on my computer but one. I tried to delete ur_mom_traffic_cone_howdidshedothat.jpg but it won't let me.
Says "Access denied: this file is in use and cannot be deleted"
The only things I have running right now are WoW, BT, OOo, Thunderbird, Outlook, Pine, Firefox, Chrome, Opera, 9 VMWare sessions, DreamWeaver and Photoshop.
HELP!

--
Sent from your iPad.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by h4rm0ny · 2009-04-01 02:27 · Score: 4, Interesting

I saw a crashed ATM in the UK some years ago that appeared to be running either NT or Windows 2000. Something from around that era, anyway. It was pretty disturbing to see a floating "illegal operation" dialog box on a screen I had previously assumed was some simple and secure dedicated system.

--

Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Canazza · 2009-04-01 02:28 · Score: 2, Informative

A fair few ATMS in the UK run Windows. I've seen RBS, HBOS, Lloyds TSB and Abbey with Windows Error boxes/BSODs/Loading Screens. It's not totally uncommon.
Also, Here

--
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for being subtle.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Zerth · 2009-04-01 02:28 · Score: 2, Informative

Many, if not most, do run OS2. But some newer ATMs, especially those by new manufacturers, use windows.
A russian ATM with a "You haven't activated yet" error message.
Meanwhile, on Craigslist... by spywhere · 2009-04-01 02:29 · Score: 4, Funny

Someone actually shipped a car that was exactly as advertised, and a massage didn't have a happy ending.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by Clipless · 2009-04-01 02:29 · Score: 5, Funny

Did you try restarting your computer 3 times? That is what the tech guys at work always tell me to do.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by +Addict-09+ · 2009-04-01 02:34 · Score: 3, Funny

you laugh but my elderly father once searched for all dll's and deleted all he could based on something his AV was trying to tell him.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by YttriumOxide · 2009-04-01 02:34 · Score: 3, Funny

At least we don't have to deal with that moronic 'OMG ponies' theme this year.
You're right... OMG KITTENZ is much better as I'm sure everyone can agree.

--
My book about LSD and Self-Discovery
Also on facebook as: DroppingAcidDaleBewan
Re:WHAT? by Arkem+Beta · 2009-04-01 02:35 · Score: 2, Funny

Why the **** does the Air Force have critical systems 1) Running a stock commercial OS, and 2) Connected in a way where this sort of infection is even POSSIBLE?
You must be new here.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by eln · 2009-04-01 02:38 · Score: 4, Funny

Can you help me? I was able to get rid of all .jpg files on my computer but one. I tried to delete ur_mom_traffic_cone_howdidshedothat.jpg but it won't let me.
Says "Access denied: this file is in use and cannot be deleted"
Just be patient, I'm almost done with it.
/etc by andrikos · 2009-04-01 02:39 · Score: 2, Funny

Help!!
Many of my files in /etc have a .conf extension! It must be conficker to blame!
Re:100 króna notes? by JustinOpinion · 2009-04-01 02:46 · Score: 2, Funny

Can I pretend that I just tricked you with an April Fool's joke? Or did I just make myself look like an ass?
~sigh~ Serves me right for posting an arrogant retort. 100 Icelandic króna would be worth 47 US cents.
Re:Non-story by RKThoadan · 2009-04-01 02:49 · Score: 3, Funny

I think a more general "-1 Whooosshh" option for all missed jokes would be better.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by DrgnDancer · 2009-04-01 02:51 · Score: 2, Insightful

There hasn't been a serious story on /. yet today. I always hope nothing important actually happens on April 1st, for fear it'll be ignored and get filed as "yet another gag"

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I don't need a million points of light, just two points of multi-mode fiber and a 10 Gig-E router.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by daveime · 2009-04-01 02:58 · Score: 4, Funny

You have to cycle the power on the modem too !
Re:Non-story by Remus+Shepherd · 2009-04-01 03:04 · Score: 2, Insightful

Moderators should just refuse to moderate April Fool's stories. The story's from an alternate reality; let them moderate their own insane events.

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Genocide Man -- Life is funny. Death is funnier. Mass murder can be hilarious.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by spacefiddle · 2009-04-01 03:15 · Score: 2, Insightful

Well, that's what you get for listening to Archvillains.
In other news, there's a flickr user calling herself Jay Peg. Maybe just 'jaypeg.' There's also a racehorse named Jay Peg. I'm gonna put down the Google and back away slowly with my hands in the air now.

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That which does not kill us makes us... st
I feel I'm missing out... by thomasdz · 2009-04-01 03:21 · Score: 2, Funny

Can someone point me to some web site that will infect me? I feel that I'm missing out since I keep myself fully up-to-date with patches and run the latest anti-virus.
Thanks

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Karma: Excellent. 15 moderator points expire sometime.
Re:Yeah, April Fools... by BakaHoushi · 2009-04-01 03:41 · Score: 2, Insightful

I agree. It's a good one. Both because it's subtle AND it punishes the tendency to not RTFA. Bravo, /.
Virus Alert! by Locke2005 · 2009-04-01 05:18 · Score: 2, Funny

Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
Really wanna give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
About a dangerous, insidious computer virus
If you should get an email with the subject, 'stinky cheese'
Better not go taking your chances
Under no circumstances, should you open it
Or else it will
Translate your documents into Swahili
Make your TV record "Gigli"
Neuter your pets, and give you laundry static cling Look out!
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze Look out!
Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs Look out!
Erase your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
It'll make your keyboard all sticky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney
Then, it will tie up your phone, making crank long-distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will
Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Legally change your name to Reggie,
Even mess up the pH balance in your pool Look out!
It's gonna melt your face right off your skull Look out!
And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull Look out!
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep Look out!
And make you physically attracted to sheep Look out!
Steal your identity and your credit cards Look out!
Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards Look out!
Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
That's right it's a... Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn
Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were online! Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
Hit send right now!

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I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.