Blizzard Shows Off Diablo III Archivist Class, WoW Dance-Off

It's been a busy day for the folks at Blizzard, who have released major announcements for several different games. The next Diablo III class has arrived: the Archivist. Despite their frail appearance and hunched, labored movement, they are quite deft at launching Quest Bolts at nearby foes, or conjuring a whirling Lore-nado of spinning books. Loud monsters can be silenced with a devastating Shush attack. Blizzard also put Starcraft II's latest unit on display, the Terra-Tron, which is a giant, robot uber-weapon assembled from the buildings in your base. Finally, for World of Warcraft they announced two features that have been requested by players for years: a battle of dances, where you can show off your avatar's hippest moves, and the ability to 'p1mp' your mounts. (Not sure exactly what that means, since I don't speak elvish, but there's a Nightsaber with a cannon — holy crap!)

Comments

"Pimp your mounts"

[Niris]

I get a completely different image from "pimping a mount" than putting a cannon on a horse .

Re:"Pimp your mounts"

[Chris Burke]

Yeah I would think it would rather involve putting the cannon in the horse.

Re:"Pimp your mounts"

[soren202]

Yeah, it was more like putting a cannon IN a horse.

Except without the "se".

Anyway, although the videos are rather impressive, Blizzard needs to put some more work in to the believability of their April Fools jokes.

For instance, a joke about how they're abandoning SC II because of bloating development costs and numerous unforeseen delays, or that Diablo III will cost $80 instead of the normal price due to the extended re-playability worked into the game would be gold.

This, however, will only get amusing responses from only the dimmest of readers, especially with that first announcement. It kind of ruins the point of April Fools day if everyone gets the joke right away. For it to be amusing, there has to be at least some potential change in emotion for readers once you reveal that it's a joke.

Better to 'p1mp' your mount

[Evardsson]

... than to mount your pimp. Unless you are into that sort of thing.

Explains a lot

[Phu5ion]

No wonder Blizzard games take so long to ship. Get back to work you hippies!

Re:Explains a lot

[Swizec]

Some of it sure looks like it took a legitimate amount of work, but why the fuck can't they spend the 20 minutes to make scrollwheels work with the dropdown selects on their website?

Seriously, I thought this was supposed to be a decent bunch of programmers.

Re:Explains a lot

[Enderandrew]

Doesn't Diablo III play itself? Diablo I and Diablo II are technically the best selling computer RPGs of all time, though I use that term loosely. You just click, hope for random loot drops, and click some more. And now Diablo III, you don't drink potions because that is too complicated. So you just click, while mana and life basically auto-replenish. Clearly this was a game that needed to be even simpler.

Re:Explains a lot

[geekoid]

DO you think they give the real programming to web 'developers'?

An interesting class indeed

[Ron_Fitzgerald]

The Archivist seems to be a slow but powerful character. From the video his spells are devastating to the individual character but he himself is weak. It looks as though he may be able to use different canes to perhaps make him faster, unsure.
I also took note of the new HUD and how delicious it looks. Look at the Mana graphic!

Re:An interesting class indeed

[Eberlin]

Working at a library's local history room, I always fancied myself a necromancer because we symbolically re-animate the dead. I think, though, that this archivist class would be so much more awesome! Yes, no blood golem, bone spear, iron maiden, decrepify, bone spirit, and a cool shrunken head, but c'mon, you get Lore-nado and Shush!!! I can't wait to ask each monster their birthdate, line them up in descending order by age, then proceed to systematically lore-nado each one, writing down the exact time and location of each kill to be filed later in the Zakarum archives. Mmmmm, paperwork!

I thought "Shush" was a trademark

[crazybit]

owned by Cesar Millan.

He is a very powerful magician too.

WTF

[XPeter]

All this hype around D3 is getting on my nerves. If D3 comes out before SC2 I'm boycotting Blizzard games I understand SC2 has to be sports worthy but still...10+ years?

Re:WTF

[geekoid]

I will boycott Blizzard's as well..all the way up until the release SCII. mine gimme gimme.

Re:WTF

[LingNoi]

Yeah, 10 years is a long time. I wish they where like EA which bring out a new Madden each year. EA are truly the masters of innovative games.

Re:Oh holy fuck, how amusing and ticksy

[Niris]

Prozac.

Re:Oh holy fuck, how amusing and ticksy

[Samschnooks]

Your wish is my command:It's 02-April-09 Tokyo

Now, don't you wish you wished for a big titted blond bikini model, a private jet, and a hundred million dollars?

Too late! Bwahahahahahahahah!

New Starcraft Unit

[Korin43]

Am I the only one who wishes the Terra-tron was a real unit?

Re:New Starcraft Unit

[bar-agent]

They should -- and could -- totally include this in the game. You'd give up your unit-building capabilities and resources, but in return, you get to

Finish him!

In other words, once you know you've won the match, you could break out the Terra-tron and rub it in. A battle finishing move. Of course, there'd have to be something like that for the Zerg and Protoss as well. Let's see...

For the Protoss, some sort of chain lightning effect, culminating in a singularity; or maybe a big mothership whose shadow covers the screen warps in and starts zapping. And for the Zerg, a Cerebrate pod meteors in from orbit, or tunnels in Bugs-Bunny-style, and tentacles whip out of the ground and wreak havoc; or maybe the Creep comes alive and devours everything in its path.

great quote

[OglinTatas]

from the archivist's dialog wheel:

"Test me and I will chronicle your pain"

That's just begging to be my sig.

Re:great quote

[illumin8]

from the archivist's dialog wheel:

Did you notice they also had two options: "Stay a while," and "Listen." This is clearly a nod to the first NPC you encounter in Diablo I, an old man that said "Stay a while and Listen," and was probably the first dialog you hear in the game. At the time Diablo I came out, it was revolutionary as a computer RPG that had actual voice acting, in a limited form. NPCs had a line of dialog they would say when you first clicked on them.

Get off my...moo?

[Myrcutio]

Oblig.
The archivists bread and butter attack against creatures younger than him is a constant barrage of "Get off my lawn!", strangely effective against herds of halberd wielding bovines.

New D&D class

[JohnyDog]

In related news, D&D is also getting new class, the Witchaloks, designed by the Penny Arcade crew.

But, I WANT IT

[dmomo]

How can you show us something awesome and then say "ha ha just kidding"? Jokes are meant for absurd things. This was just a cock tease.

Re:Say it with me now...

[LingNoi]

It's simply different language between US and UK. In UK "pants" is like a very polite way of saying crap. Also since i'm posting this it is mobile phone, not cell phone. *shakes angry fist"