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Microsoft Asks Fed For Bailout
snydeq writes "Microsoft requested on Tuesday some $20 billion in bailout funds from the federal government, claiming that as the company controls an overwhelming share of the OS market, it is too big to fail. Low adoption rates for Vista, the ensuing ad campaign trying to convince people that they really do like Vista, and the increased need for development resources to rush Windows 7 to market to make people forget about Vista have necessitated the bailout, the company said. 'We want to make it absolutely clear that this is not a crisis of mismanagement,' said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in a prepared statement. 'This is simply a crisis of dollars — a crisis of not having enough dollars coming our way.'"
trying to use bailout money to build a bridge between their campuses.
Yeah, that sounds like an AF joke, but I read it a day or two ago.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Funny things, time zones.
just look at the link! http://www.infoworld.com/article/09/04/01/13NF-microsoft-April-Fools_1.html
Thanks to the bailout, 2009 is clearly the year of Windows on the desktop.
-1 British
This is by far the best april fools story posted today. I almost fell for it!
Today it's just useless.
Today?
Too silly to be real; Too real to be fake; Too fake to be silly. So really, where does that leave the story?
Bye!
Wait a minute here.... I read this story and I thought, well hey, a company tried to force on everyone a product that wasn't desirable for the consumer, waited a long time to deliver that product, and has a history of making some products that don't do so well, so is in deep trouble financially and might go under. Seemed pretty reasonable to me, isn't that how capitalism is supposed to work? If you don't make products that people want to buy, aren't you supposed to do poorly?
But then I remembered this is an April Fools joke. Since it's not true, and Microsoft is doing just fine, I thought about why it isn't true: either A) Microsoft really is making products that people want or B) Capitalism isn't working here. Regarding A, I suppose MS does make more decent products than bad ones, but I can't help but think of Microsoft as the GM of the auto-world 20 years ago in that they have a much larger market share than the quality of their products warrants (suggesting B). So I wonder when the Toyota of the operating system world is going to come along and eat MS' lunch? It must be nice to be a monopoly.
P.S. Please MS fanboys, try to remember that the troll or flamebait mods are not a substitute for an "I disagree that Vista was a failure" mod.
Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the war room!
In a press release on Wednesday, Mr. Taco, the head of the online news site Slashdot, announced that the website had run out of stories.
In a twitter based inquiry to take place tomorrow. congressmen are expected to ask Mr. Taco if he drove his own Internets to Washington DC.
An anonymous source within the White House quoted President Obama as saying that "Things are tough. They may have to make do with LOLcats for a while."
Face with an ever increasing mountain of debt, the US Government today has asked Microsoft for a bailout. Under the terms of the bailout, Microsoft Windows licenses will be exchanged with holders of Treasury Bonds to help the USA reduce its debt.
The Chinese Government expressed great interest in the deal. "We were thinking about using Linux, but knowing that we now have the rights to sell 5 billion copies of Microsoft products allows us to settle the debt the Americans have with us, and helps us become a software super power." Under the terms of the new arrangement, every house in China will receive their choice of Visual Studio Team System, Windows Server, or a lot of games.
This is my sig.
Redmond is getting a new bridge and Microsoft is paying half.
Redmond has a population of around 46,000.
Microsoft employs about 30,000 full time workers and owns or leases around 8,000,000 square feet of - presumably taxable - office space in or near the city.
Funny, that. Just yesterday you were claiming it's April 1st when it was really March 31st. Stop living in the future, man!
Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
Uhh, you realize that all April Fool's Jokes are meant to be done by 12PM on April 1?
Perhaps you have a city ordinance which specifies such a thing. I live in Backwoods, Nowhere, and such ordinances don't apply here. I may seek my amusement whenever and wherever I wish. Hell, I can wait til next week to do my own April joke, and not worry about some silly rule about silly conduct.
"Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
Today it's just useless.
You must be new here.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Wouldn't that be (UTC) +1 British?
512 MB RAM, 20 GB disk, 200 GB transfer, five datacenters. $19.95/month.
Noon?
Even I think that's a bit harsh. Many days, I'm still sleeping at such an early hour.
It's always April 1st in the United States.
What?
I've never heard that in my life. But the One True Source of All Knowledge enlightens us:
'Traditionally, in some countries, the jokes only last until noon: like UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and South Africa, someone who plays a trick after noon is called an "April Fool".[1] Elsewhere, such as in Ireland, France, and the USA, the jokes last all day.'
Property is theft.
For the love of God - please stop with the font tags! I'll defend to the death (figuratively) your right to say whatever you like, but not your right to use small, ugly fonts to do it!
Nope, in France since we have Sarkozy, it's all year long...