Microsoft Asks Fed For Bailout

snydeq writes "Microsoft requested on Tuesday some $20 billion in bailout funds from the federal government, claiming that as the company controls an overwhelming share of the OS market, it is too big to fail. Low adoption rates for Vista, the ensuing ad campaign trying to convince people that they really do like Vista, and the increased need for development resources to rush Windows 7 to market to make people forget about Vista have necessitated the bailout, the company said. 'We want to make it absolutely clear that this is not a crisis of mismanagement,' said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in a prepared statement. 'This is simply a crisis of dollars — a crisis of not having enough dollars coming our way.'"

Comments

They are, ghowever

[geekoid]

trying to use bailout money to build a bridge between their campuses.

Yeah, that sounds like an AF joke, but I read it a day or two ago.

Re:They are, ghowever

[GaratNW]

The bridge in question connects one publicly accessible area to another publicly accessible area where there are limited ways to get across the freeway in question. While Microsoft accounts for about 40% of the expected traffic on the new bridge, they [i.e. Microsoft] are actually footing the bill for approximately half the cost of the bridge. Those bastards! Fleecing the public by paying half of something that is a publicly owned structure that will provide a few hundred jobs for 2 years, that they won't own but will be able to benefit from, and will encourage people to WALK rather than drive everywhere. How dare they. And it's a shovel ready project. Yah.. horrible idea.

Oh sorry. Slashdot. My bad. Go on with your uninformed hating.

Re:They are, ghowever

[zaba]

You forgot blackjack. Actually, forget blackjack.

Re:They are, ghowever

[jonnythan]

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/03/31/bridge.microsoft/index.html

"We're not a one-company town," [Mayor] Marchione says. "Our traffic studies show that Microsoft traffic would be about 42 percent of the bridge, yet Microsoft is paying for about 50 percent of the bridge, so we think we are getting fair value."

Microsoft general counsel Brad Smith wrote: "As the largest employer in Redmond, Microsoft takes its responsibility to the surrounding community seriously. We have spent over $50 million to assist the City of Redmond and other local governments with street construction, transit facilities, water and sewer facilities and fire equipment."

"Any time you can include the private sector in funding transportation projects, it's a win-win situation," Ennis explains. "The state has a monopoly on our roads system. Even if Microsoft wanted to pay for this project on their own, legally they are required to work with the public sector."

Re:It's April 2 now

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny things, time zones.

Weird.

[gbarules2999]

Thanks to the bailout, 2009 is clearly the year of Windows on the desktop.

Re:Weird.

[Anonymous Coward]

Dont put windows on your desktop. Trust me, its just a distaster. It may seem like a cool idea, but all the crashes and breaking and the cleanup, its just not worth it.

Oh, where you talking about the OS?

Re:It's April 2 now

[Anonymous Coward]

-1 British

The best April Fool's

[line-bundle]

This is by far the best april fools story posted today. I almost fell for it!

Slashdot was useless today

[Anonymous Coward]

Today it's just useless.

Today?

wait a minute here...

[je ne sais quoi]

Wait a minute here.... I read this story and I thought, well hey, a company tried to force on everyone a product that wasn't desirable for the consumer, waited a long time to deliver that product, and has a history of making some products that don't do so well, so is in deep trouble financially and might go under. Seemed pretty reasonable to me, isn't that how capitalism is supposed to work? If you don't make products that people want to buy, aren't you supposed to do poorly?

But then I remembered this is an April Fools joke. Since it's not true, and Microsoft is doing just fine, I thought about why it isn't true: either A) Microsoft really is making products that people want or B) Capitalism isn't working here. Regarding A, I suppose MS does make more decent products than bad ones, but I can't help but think of Microsoft as the GM of the auto-world 20 years ago in that they have a much larger market share than the quality of their products warrants (suggesting B). So I wonder when the Toyota of the operating system world is going to come along and eat MS' lunch? It must be nice to be a monopoly.

P.S. Please MS fanboys, try to remember that the troll or flamebait mods are not a substitute for an "I disagree that Vista was a failure" mod.

NEWS: Slashdot gets Federal Content Bailout

[koterica]

In a press release on Wednesday, Mr. Taco, the head of the online news site Slashdot, announced that the website had run out of stories.

In a twitter based inquiry to take place tomorrow. congressmen are expected to ask Mr. Taco if he drove his own Internets to Washington DC.

An anonymous source within the White House quoted President Obama as saying that "Things are tough. They may have to make do with LOLcats for a while."

The US Government asks Microsoft for a Bailout

[tjstork]

Face with an ever increasing mountain of debt, the US Government today has asked Microsoft for a bailout. Under the terms of the bailout, Microsoft Windows licenses will be exchanged with holders of Treasury Bonds to help the USA reduce its debt.

The Chinese Government expressed great interest in the deal. "We were thinking about using Linux, but knowing that we now have the rights to sell 5 billion copies of Microsoft products allows us to settle the debt the Americans have with us, and helps us become a software super power." Under the terms of the new arrangement, every house in China will receive their choice of Visual Studio Team System, Windows Server, or a lot of games.

Re:But it is true

[westlake]

We know that MS is getting a new federally funded bridge

Redmond is getting a new bridge and Microsoft is paying half.

Redmond has a population of around 46,000.

Microsoft employs about 30,000 full time workers and owns or leases around 8,000,000 square feet of - presumably taxable - office space in or near the city.

Re:It's April 2 now

[iminplaya]

It's always April 1st in the United States.

Re:It's April 2 now

[mad flyer]

Nope, in France since we have Sarkozy, it's all year long...