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Microsoft Asks Fed For Bailout

Posted by samzenpus on from the too-big-to-fail dept.

snydeq writes "Microsoft requested on Tuesday some $20 billion in bailout funds from the federal government, claiming that as the company controls an overwhelming share of the OS market, it is too big to fail. Low adoption rates for Vista, the ensuing ad campaign trying to convince people that they really do like Vista, and the increased need for development resources to rush Windows 7 to market to make people forget about Vista have necessitated the bailout, the company said. 'We want to make it absolutely clear that this is not a crisis of mismanagement,' said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in a prepared statement. 'This is simply a crisis of dollars — a crisis of not having enough dollars coming our way.'"

66 of 346 comments (clear)

  1. They are, ghowever by geekoid · · Score: 5, Informative

    trying to use bailout money to build a bridge between their campuses.

    Yeah, that sounds like an AF joke, but I read it a day or two ago.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    1. Re:They are, ghowever by SunSpot505 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Indeed they are, I read about that one too. Ridiculous!! And here is the link for your M$ hating pleasure.

    2. Re:They are, ghowever by GaratNW · · Score: 5, Informative

      The bridge in question connects one publicly accessible area to another publicly accessible area where there are limited ways to get across the freeway in question. While Microsoft accounts for about 40% of the expected traffic on the new bridge, they [i.e. Microsoft] are actually footing the bill for approximately half the cost of the bridge. Those bastards! Fleecing the public by paying half of something that is a publicly owned structure that will provide a few hundred jobs for 2 years, that they won't own but will be able to benefit from, and will encourage people to WALK rather than drive everywhere. How dare they. And it's a shovel ready project. Yah.. horrible idea.

      Oh sorry. Slashdot. My bad. Go on with your uninformed hating.

    3. Re:They are, ghowever by jonnythan · · Score: 4, Informative

      It's a bridge that connects two public roads and will reportedly do a great job lessening congestion on the other nearby bridge.

      Despite people billing it as a "Microsoft bridge" it's not. It's a public bridge on a public road. I think Microsoft is being kinda generous by offering to pay for a huge chunk of it.

    4. Re:They are, ghowever by cayenne8 · · Score: 2, Funny
      "Yeah right. With our tax dollars, MS would build a maglev monorail around their campus, furnished with Italian leather chairs, open bars, 42" plasma TV's hooked up to XBox 360's and wifi."

      You left out blow and hookers...

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    5. Re:They are, ghowever by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      Meaning "It's a public road and the public will use it".

      The counter-argument is absurd and very akin to this: "Why should we, cityfolk, build a highway that goes around the city? The people who benefit most are the people driving on it!"

      The people who benefit are also the people who have reduced traffic on their roads as people use the new infrastructure.

      Just because Slashdot hates Microsoft doesn't mean this is absurd.

    6. Re:They are, ghowever by zaba · · Score: 5, Funny

      You forgot blackjack. Actually, forget blackjack.

    7. Re:They are, ghowever by GaratNW · · Score: 3, Informative

      The city of Redmond recognizes it and wants it, probably 50% of the tax revenue for that city derives from Microsoft and it's employees. Microsoft recognizes the value and wants it, hence footing half the bill. It eases up congestion on the TWO other overpasses across the freeway in the area (there's a third well away from the campus, apartments and tons of housing throughout that area that rarely gets used). So yes.. there are literally thousands of homes, people at businesses (not just Microsoft, though they are the ONLY business directly contributing), and public and private transit that can use, as well as the numerous bike and foot commuters in the area. As I said. Uninformed. You just want a reason to hate them. The fact that you've got your underwear in a bind about obfuscation code done in a beta build of an OS over 25 years ago is possibly the saddest justification for MS hate I've seen on Slashdot in a long time. So no, I don't need an explanation. You need a Xanax.

    8. Re:They are, ghowever by jonnythan · · Score: 5, Informative

      http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/03/31/bridge.microsoft/index.html

      "We're not a one-company town," [Mayor] Marchione says. "Our traffic studies show that Microsoft traffic would be about 42 percent of the bridge, yet Microsoft is paying for about 50 percent of the bridge, so we think we are getting fair value."

      Microsoft general counsel Brad Smith wrote: "As the largest employer in Redmond, Microsoft takes its responsibility to the surrounding community seriously. We have spent over $50 million to assist the City of Redmond and other local governments with street construction, transit facilities, water and sewer facilities and fire equipment."

      "Any time you can include the private sector in funding transportation projects, it's a win-win situation," Ennis explains. "The state has a monopoly on our roads system. Even if Microsoft wanted to pay for this project on their own, legally they are required to work with the public sector."

    9. Re:They are, ghowever by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Talk about killing the goose that lays the golden eggs...

      Or at least chasing it away.

    10. Re:They are, ghowever by digitalunity · · Score: 4, Funny

      True, but the blow would only be in the MVP rail car and the hookers would stop to ask you if you want to pay extra to upgrade your experience, and when you're done she would ask you to fill out a survey about your experience.

      --
      You can't legislate goodness. Let each to his own destiny, by will of his freely made choices.
    11. Re:They are, ghowever by Runaway1956 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Good question.  Why DID we bother bailing out a failed industry?  Never mind how many people are walking, a failed industry is a failed industry.

      --
      "Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
    12. Re:They are, ghowever by speedtux · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The bridge in question connects one publicly accessible area to another publicly accessible area where there are limited ways to get across the freeway in question.

      Would the bridge make the list of projects if Microsoft weren't involved? No? Then the public shouldn't pay a dime for it.

      While Microsoft accounts for about 40% of the expected traffic on the new bridge, they [i.e. Microsoft] are actually footing the bill for approximately half the cost of the bridge.

      All the non-Microsoft traffic might simply be taking the bridge because it's there and it has already been paid for. The question is what the actual utility of the bridge is to the public.

      I've driven around the Microsoft campus a lot, and I don't see any public need for another bridge in that area.

    13. Re:They are, ghowever by Pharmboy · · Score: 2, Insightful

      and all those people using it are taxpaying residents, regardless of where they work. There are plenty of reasons to rag MS, this just ain't one of them, unless you are just a zealot who looks for any opportunity to find fault in MS, in which case, your opinion is worthless.

      Sounds like a good plan for the city, a good offer by Microsoft, and a win/win for the taxpayers. On all other points, yea, Microsoft sucks, just not on this one.

      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
  2. Re:It's April 2 now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    Funny things, time zones.

  3. 100% Real! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    just look at the link! http://www.infoworld.com/article/09/04/01/13NF-microsoft-April-Fools_1.html

  4. Weird. by gbarules2999 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thanks to the bailout, 2009 is clearly the year of Windows on the desktop.

    1. Re:Weird. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Dont put windows on your desktop. Trust me, its just a distaster. It may seem like a cool idea, but all the crashes and breaking and the cleanup, its just not worth it.

      Oh, where you talking about the OS?

    2. Re:Weird. by Chlorine+Trifluoride · · Score: 2, Funny

      I once put windows on my desktop while installing Windows...not a pretty sight.

  5. Re:It's April 2 now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    -1 British

  6. Slashdot was useless today by pembo13 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    At least it was funny with the pink ponies thing. Today it's just useless.

    --
    "Thanks for all the money you paid to us. We've used it to buy off ISO among other things" -Microsoft
    1. Re:Slashdot was useless today by digitalderbs · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I'm sorry. I need my April fools achievement.

    2. Re:Slashdot was useless today by drinkypoo · · Score: 4, Funny

      Today it's just useless.

      You must be new here.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  7. Because it's not by dreamchaser · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Maybe because /. is a US based site, and it's not April 2nd anywhere in the US yet?

  8. The best April Fool's by line-bundle · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is by far the best april fools story posted today. I almost fell for it!

    1. Re:The best April Fool's by dimeglio · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's because it's not an April's fool joke but a prophecy.

      --
      Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the author.
  9. April saves me money by Swampash · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Because every year I get a regular reminder of why subscribing to Slashdot would be a waste of money.

  10. Slashdot was useless today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Today it's just useless.

    Today?

  11. haha by ADRA · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Too silly to be real; Too real to be fake; Too fake to be silly. So really, where does that leave the story?

    --
    Bye!
  12. wait a minute here... by je+ne+sais+quoi · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Wait a minute here.... I read this story and I thought, well hey, a company tried to force on everyone a product that wasn't desirable for the consumer, waited a long time to deliver that product, and has a history of making some products that don't do so well, so is in deep trouble financially and might go under. Seemed pretty reasonable to me, isn't that how capitalism is supposed to work? If you don't make products that people want to buy, aren't you supposed to do poorly?

    But then I remembered this is an April Fools joke. Since it's not true, and Microsoft is doing just fine, I thought about why it isn't true: either A) Microsoft really is making products that people want or B) Capitalism isn't working here. Regarding A, I suppose MS does make more decent products than bad ones, but I can't help but think of Microsoft as the GM of the auto-world 20 years ago in that they have a much larger market share than the quality of their products warrants (suggesting B). So I wonder when the Toyota of the operating system world is going to come along and eat MS' lunch? It must be nice to be a monopoly.

    P.S. Please MS fanboys, try to remember that the troll or flamebait mods are not a substitute for an "I disagree that Vista was a failure" mod.

    --
    Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the war room!
    1. Re:wait a minute here... by teknosapien · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Maybe the FOSS should ask for a bailout also?

      --
      no matter how good it is, it is human nature always wants to make things better
    2. Re:wait a minute here... by je+ne+sais+quoi · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Well, continuing with my auto analogy, if Microsoft is the GM of the operating systems, that makes FOSS the VW microbus. Yeah sure it kinda works, but you spend half your time repairing it and the other half the time using it with parts broken. (Oh, and it's most commonly used by bearded hippies.)

      I joke, I joke! :) I actually think that a great way to stimulate the economy would be to make micro-grants (by gov. standards) to pay programmers to write FOS software. That way, the tax-payer gets a return on their investment by having better quality software that is freely available. Oh wait, that would be communism... (Incidentally, isn't that what the Google Summer of Code is?)

      --
      Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the war room!
    3. Re:wait a minute here... by tahpot · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The alternative is that capitalism works, but can take some time.

      Microsoft has a lot of cash which is why it is still so strong. It's current products are coming under increasing pressure from open source, the web etc. So this may not last forever - unless of course they get a bailout.

    4. Re:wait a minute here... by maxume · · Score: 2, Informative

      GM's single biggest problem is that they have huge health care and pension obligations to fund (lots of jackasses on TV 'simplify' this down to an hourly labor cost of ~$70, which is pretty disingenuous). Their vehicles are generally of market equivalent quality (they do make too many different vehicles), they just can't sell anywhere near the number of cars required to meet their obligations.

      25 years ago, the union would have done well to demand that GM pay them enough so that they could meet their desired future compensation goals, rather than agreeing that GM was likely to keep growing forever and accepting promises to fund pensions and healthcare.

      --
      Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
    5. Re:wait a minute here... by theheadlessrabbit · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well, continuing with my auto analogy, if Microsoft is the GM of the operating systems, that makes FOSS the VW microbus.

      but I thought FOSS was sort of like M1 tanks, made of space-age materials, and packed full of sophisticated technology, modified to never break down.

      are you mixing up your analogies?

      --
      -I only code in BASIC.-
    6. Re:wait a minute here... by drinkypoo · · Score: 2, Funny

      Linux = M1, Hurd = Microbus. HTH, HAND. P.S. The original microbus is a fucking paragon of engineering, and anyone who says different doesn't understand time cube.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  13. NEWS: Slashdot gets Federal Content Bailout by koterica · · Score: 5, Funny

    In a press release on Wednesday, Mr. Taco, the head of the online news site Slashdot, announced that the website had run out of stories.

    In a twitter based inquiry to take place tomorrow. congressmen are expected to ask Mr. Taco if he drove his own Internets to Washington DC.

    An anonymous source within the White House quoted President Obama as saying that "Things are tough. They may have to make do with LOLcats for a while."

    1. Re:NEWS: Slashdot gets Federal Content Bailout by Repton · · Score: 3, Funny

      How could slashdot possibly run out of stories? They've got over ten years' worth of them to keep posting!

      --
      Repton.
      They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.
  14. Re:I can't believe no one looks at their status ba by beav007 · · Score: 2, Funny

    You appear to be assuming that people click the links...

  15. The US Government asks Microsoft for a Bailout by tjstork · · Score: 5, Funny

    Face with an ever increasing mountain of debt, the US Government today has asked Microsoft for a bailout. Under the terms of the bailout, Microsoft Windows licenses will be exchanged with holders of Treasury Bonds to help the USA reduce its debt.

    The Chinese Government expressed great interest in the deal. "We were thinking about using Linux, but knowing that we now have the rights to sell 5 billion copies of Microsoft products allows us to settle the debt the Americans have with us, and helps us become a software super power." Under the terms of the new arrangement, every house in China will receive their choice of Visual Studio Team System, Windows Server, or a lot of games.

    --
    This is my sig.
    1. Re:The US Government asks Microsoft for a Bailout by Pfhorrest · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I know this is supposed to be a joke, and I'm sick today so maybe my brain isn't working quite right... but something actually seems rather insightful about this suggestion.

      Software is something of genuine market value (in any country that has effective copyright laws to create artificial scarcity, at least) that can be reproduced virtually for free. Seems like the perfect thing to get someone out of debt. Invest in it once and then rake in the dough.

      Perhaps the US Gov't could arrange licences with certain highly successful software companies to trade *them* (the software companies) treasury bonds in exchange for licences to distribute those highly successful software packages (perhaps only internationally, reserving the domestic market to the private sector). Use the proceeds from that to pay down foreign debt. That still leaves the US Gov't with debt to some major US companies, which is a less than ideal situation, but certainly preferable to debt to foreign states: at least when that debt gets paid off, the money goes to business in the US, and therefrom to the employees of those businesses, and back around into the US economy.

      --
      -Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of all Trades
      "I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
  16. The really sad thing about New Zealand... by refactored · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ...is you have to put up with two full days of April Fools crap.

  17. Re:But it is true by westlake · · Score: 5, Informative
    We know that MS is getting a new federally funded bridge

    Redmond is getting a new bridge and Microsoft is paying half.

    Redmond has a population of around 46,000.

    Microsoft employs about 30,000 full time workers and owns or leases around 8,000,000 square feet of - presumably taxable - office space in or near the city.

  18. Re:It's April 2 now by nacturation · · Score: 4, Funny

    Funny, that. Just yesterday you were claiming it's April 1st when it was really March 31st. Stop living in the future, man!

    --
    Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
  19. Windows Live Bailout by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    Nobody is going to get all excited and upset about this bailout. All you need to know is that it's Microsoft's idea, and suddenly you're unable to care.

  20. Re:It's April 2 now by Achromatic1978 · · Score: 4, Informative

    Uhh, you realize that all April Fool's Jokes are meant to be done by 12PM on April 1?

  21. Re:It's April 2 now by Runaway1956 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Perhaps you have a city ordinance which specifies such a thing.  I live in Backwoods, Nowhere, and such ordinances don't apply here.  I may seek my amusement whenever and wherever I wish.  Hell, I can wait til next week to do my own April joke, and not worry about some silly rule about silly conduct.

    --
    "Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
  22. Re:Dammit! by Achromatic1978 · · Score: 2, Funny
    So here is the link to the original story at the news source. See if it provides any hints. I'll provide a pointer in the general direction: www.infoworld.com/article/09/04/01/13NF-microsoft- April-Fools_1 .html.

    Did you catch it?

  23. Re:It's April 2 now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    moran

    is that an irish moron?

  24. Re:It's April 2 now by palegray.net · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wouldn't that be (UTC) +1 British?

    --
    512 MB RAM, 20 GB disk, 200 GB transfer, five datacenters. $19.95/month.
  25. ohmigosh by Drumforyourlife · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Haha that's great. My initial reaction was anger, as the whole financial thing has got me all steamed anyway... but then I remembered what company we're talking about here. subtle, but effective. I must admit I was fooled.

  26. What if it really happens in April 1, 2015? by Ilgaz · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This is a April 1 joke but spare some time to think what if it really happens in the future, especially if you are a Developer who has put all eggs on Microsoft/Windows basket. Can't happen? Trust me, it happens. If someone came and told Amiga will be dead while we use that Amiga 500 miracle, we would laugh at his face.

    Look to what happened to General Motors giant, especially them since they never thought about future may change, people may really pay more money to smaller cars made by companies they joked about just 5 years before.

  27. Re:It's April 2 now by soren202 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Noon?

    Even I think that's a bit harsh. Many days, I'm still sleeping at such an early hour.

  28. Re:It's April 2 now by arminw · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It's 4+ more hours in Redmond WA before April 1 is over

    --
    All theory is gray
  29. Re:It's April 2 now by iminplaya · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's always April 1st in the United States.

    --
    What?
  30. Re:Dammit! by mazarin5 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yeah, I know it's right in front of me, but how am I supposed to know what 13NF stands for?

    --
    Fnord.
  31. Re:It's April 2 now by XnavxeMiyyep · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I actually thought it was pretty funny when they posted ridiculous, but true, articles. Can't remember what year that was though.

    --
    I put the 't' in electrical engineering.
  32. Re:It's April 2 now by mqduck · · Score: 4, Informative

    I've never heard that in my life. But the One True Source of All Knowledge enlightens us:

    'Traditionally, in some countries, the jokes only last until noon: like UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and South Africa, someone who plays a trick after noon is called an "April Fool".[1] Elsewhere, such as in Ireland, France, and the USA, the jokes last all day.'

    --
    Property is theft.
  33. Re:It's April 2 now by Hal_Porter · · Score: 2, Funny

    April 1st last much longer than that in Redmond.

    --
    echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
  34. Re:It's April 2 now by settantta · · Score: 2, Interesting

    No such time as 12 PM (or 12 AM either for that matter). The abbreviations "AM" and "PM" mean "Ante Meridian" (before noon) and "Post Meridian" (after noon) respectively. It can only ever be 12 noon or 12 midnight.

  35. Please Stop! by Rennt · · Score: 4, Insightful

    For the love of God - please stop with the font tags! I'll defend to the death (figuratively) your right to say whatever you like, but not your right to use small, ugly fonts to do it!

  36. Re:It's April 2 now by LaskoVortex · · Score: 3, Funny

    Dear sir: the round hard thing with bark on it is a stick. You would feel better if you pulled it out of your ass. If you did this, you might lighten up a little and improve your chances of getting laid at some point. APRIL FOOLS!!! You are never going to get laid!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

    --
    Just callin' it like I see it.
  37. Re:It's April 2 now by mad+flyer · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Nope, in France since we have Sarkozy, it's all year long...

  38. Re:It's April 2 now by eugene+ts+wong · · Score: 2, Funny

    So, that's why people keep coming to Canada!

    --
    testing out my trending skills
  39. Re:It's April 2 now by MindKata · · Score: 2, Interesting

    "Traditional my ass. It's just people sore at being tricked trying to impose an arbitrary rule to turn it around on us."

    I agree entirely. Its why April Fools day was known years ago as "All Fools Day" ... (Its was never known as "All Fools 12 hours"). Also TV companies especially in the 1960s/1970s often done april fools *day* jokes, which had the jokes running all day. This new idea of all fools 12 hours is a relatively new idea and I agree, it is used as a defence by anyone caught out by an All Fools Day jokes.

    --
    There are 10 kinds of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't.
  40. Re:That's a wrap by drinkypoo · · Score: 2, Funny

    You must be new here. (That's three AF comments I've found so far which are best-answered with this old saw. This is the first one by someone with a UID < half mine, though.)

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"