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"We're Linux" Finalists Announced
Last month, we mentioned the Linux Foundation's contest asking people to illustrate the idea "We're Linux"; Now, ruphus13 writes "Over 90 entries were received, and the finalists are now out. From the article, 'The contest was spawned from the idea that other software companies were paying millions of dollars to celebrities for endorsements, while Linux was promoted and shared by enthusiastic, passionate, actual users. Contestants were given a simple directive: tell the Linux Foundation what Linux is for you, why you use it, and why you'd encourage others to do the same. Humor and professional production quality weren't required — it just had to be genuine.' Details on the finalists can be found on the Linux Foundation Video site here."
Linux (pronounced "EYE-getno-ass") is a Unix-like computer operating system family which includes system utilities and libraries from the GNU Project is sometimes referred to as GNU/Linux. Linux also does not actually work, and it never has. There is no kernel present. It is primarily a harmless outlet for repressed males that have never seen a vagina to convince themselves they're 1337 while banging away at toy software that doesn't actually do anything.
Linux is also a disease responsible for an increased incidence of AIDS because it of its open sores, which are an ideal transmission vector for HIV.
It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
* Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
* Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com], spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
* Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx] perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx] terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx] lover blo
Here are the relevant links from the real source.
http://www.linuxfoundation.org/news-media/blogs/browse/2009/04/announcing-%E2%80%9Cwe%E2%80%99re-linux%E2%80%9D-video-contest-finalists
The five finalists are:
The Future is Open
http://video.linuxfoundation.org/video/1271
The Origin...
http://video.linuxfoundation.org/video/1262
Linux AD - What does it mean to be free?
http://video.linuxfoundation.org/video/1106
Challenges At The Office
http://video.linuxfoundation.org/video/1261
Linux pub (one video without subtitles, one with)
http://video.linuxfoundation.org/video/1057
http://video.linuxfoundation.org/video/1154
5 foot tall, 120 lb, coke bottle glasses, acne ridden 30 year old maybe?
Because that would be hilarious.
It's my understanding that the winner won't be put on television in any way. How is this going to reach anyone besides people that are already interested in Linux? Point being- people that are *already* interested in Linux will probably try it anyway. This is just a feel good about ourselves project but I guess it's a fun one though.
My humor is probably your flamebait
How many is "over 90?" 91? 839,723,435? What?
I can understand why people put "over 34,000,000" because the exact number might not be known or would take too long to say, but "over 90?" Really?
DIGG THIS UP!
what the fuck?!?! At least put your vids on a server with decent bandwidth.
Slashdotted. Use Coral Cache.
Misleading titles? Inflammatory blurbs? Keep in mind that Slashdot is a tabloid.
I thought the videos were very well done.
The only thing stopping me from going Linux are the games. We desperately need the game industry to start porting the games. I honestly believe that is the only thing really standing in the way.
What are the odds that MS is somehow involved in that?
Some people are only alive because it's against the law for me to hunt them down and kill them.
Is that seriously the best Linux users could do?
They should have bought a Mac to produce those videos.
Think different. Think better. Think Apple.
http://cache.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2007/02/pcmaclinux-thumb.jpg
I can't watch these at work, but something tells me if these do go to mainstream tv and advertisements, it is only going to hurt Linux. They will probably either be too incredibly dorky for the "cool" Mac users, or go right over normal Windows users heads.
If only they could come up with a really good spokesperson. I know, how about Jerry Seinfeld?
"I don't have to think. I only have to do it. The results are always perfect, but that's old news." - Meat Puppets
Only one can Win, but everyone can Linux.
Sorry for the pun.
alias possession='chmod 666 satan && ls
This sounds bit like trying to dress up RMS as a Wall St. accountant.
Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
although it is a bit creepy is by production value the one that is "best."
My personal fav is "Linux pub" though, both funny and shrewd. They would have gotten extra points if they had a machine that went ping once Tux got in.
Folks in advertisements on television say that all the time. It basically says, "do not believe what you are hearing," or "we will not be held legally responsible for this figure."
So I guess those Linux Foundation Folks were trying to make a joke about 1970's Ronco UHF TV channel ads. Of course they got "much, much more" than 90. "And there's still more . . . if your order now . . . "
I got it; didn't you?
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
I just watched all of the videos and read some comments about what do the videos say, what should be the message, etc. :-)
To avoid preaching to the choir, we (Linux fans) should get non-Linux users to watch the ads and vote for them. This way, the video that appeals to people with very little knowledge about Linux will be selected rather than the funniest from a geek perspective. So, get your GFs, SOs, etc. to vote...
Sorry, but these are all pretty bad. Honestly, I'm just glad none of these will be aired.
If you are gonna submit a story, put the links to what you actually list as content. No one wants to dig around for the content. Thanks to first poster who gave good links.
What a disappointment - was waiting for something like the mac ads. This is why crowd sourcing sucks, why linux sucks in general.
Real, actual users? Um, being that the vast majority of the world uses Windows, those actors that are being paid millions ARE "real, actual" users. Nice turn out though. 90 entries? That's like 99.9% of the entire Linux user population! Good job lusers!
... am looking forward to the "We are Wine" commercials.
"The future is open" video positions Linux in relation to Windows. I think it's time to move beyond this.
There was time when some people saw Linux as a reaction to how bad and how evil Windows was.
That was a long time ago. In the mean time Microsoft has become much less powerful, and Apple has shown us that there can be something even worse then MS (in terms of Linux values, that is).
Linux is about freedom and community and [fill in the blank]. It is not just the anti-windows.
I vote against "the future is open".
linux is for dick smoking queers.
You gotta be kidding.
The only one that's on message is the rock-paper-scissors one, and it was still as crazy as a chocolate kettle.
Linux - Poorly copying Microsoft poorly copying Apple...
Do you guys even realise that there's no such product as Linux? Saying "Get Linux" is like saying "Got Milk?", except that anyone knows where to get milk. Where does my mom buy that "Linux" thing? Or is she supposed to find out what Linux is and figure out which distro is good for her?
Market an actual product for fuck's sake!
You just got troll'd!
...My vote's with the office one.
It was a funny ad, but with substance, arguing some specific advantages of the product that it's trying to sell (reliability, low cost, active community).
Ads without substance suck (although they're still effective in a tactical sense. :()
* Funny ads without substance are good only for the humor value IMHO
This appeals with a practical message, but uses humor to help drive the point. I like it.
Furthermore, it would be accessible and relate-able for non-techies.
I listen to both RIAA and non-RIAA stuff if I like the music, tangential business/politics nonwithstanding.
The winners were announced on April 8th: http://video.linuxfoundation.org/contest/winners