Project OXCART Declassified From Area 51

An anonymous reader sends this excerpt from the LA Times: "... the myths of Area 51 are hard to dispute if no one can speak on the record about what actually happened there. Well, now, for the first time, someone is ready to talk ... Colonel Hugh 'Slip' Slater, 87, was commander of the Area 51 base in the 1960s. Edward Lovick, 90, featured in 'What Plane?' in LA's March issue, spent three decades radar testing some of the world's most famous aircraft (including the U-2, the A-12 OXCART and the F-117). Kenneth Collins, 80, a CIA experimental test pilot, was given the silver star. Thornton 'T.D.' Barnes, 72, was an Area 51 special-projects engineer. And Harry Martin, 77, was one of the men in charge of the base's half-million-gallon monthly supply of spy-plane fuels."

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How they could have kept this secret

[Anonymous Coward]

Write a book on gayness in area 51 and sell it on amazon.

Re:I WANT TO BELIEVE

[Trailwalker]

The answer is in Area 42, but you must bring your own towel.

Spy Plane Fuel. . . the horrible truth

[StefanJ]

" . . . half-million-gallon monthly supply of spy-plane fuels."

That's no mean trick. They condensed the stuff from the souls of mutilated cattle. The bovine victims stark terror at being lifted up into a saucer (in reality an airship coated with radium paint and filled with below-zero-ground state Helium) crewed by airmen dressed as alien "Greys" increased the fuel's specific impulse by nearly 30%.

Re:Spy Plane Fuel. . . the horrible truth

[idontgno]

increased the fuel's specific impulse by nearly 30%

That would make that fuel-development program much more successful than the borane fuel the Air Force was looking at the B-70 program.

BTW your joke didn't "Whoosh" because it was going supersonic. More like "BOoooooommmm!"

Re:I know too much

[GreenTech11]

Notice how there were no pictures in the article? They have been possesed by aliens and now they are going to spread the alien around the world! I'm off to Alaska, cause aliens are cold blooded

Harry Martin Typo

[Anonymous Coward]

I think there was a typo in the article, it reads:

"And Harry Martin, 77, was one of the men in charge of the base's half-million-gallon monthly supply of spy-plane fuels."

I think it is suppose to read:

And harry MARTIAN #77 was one of the little green men in charge of the base's half-million-gallon monthly supply of flying saucer fuel."

Oh bloody hell

[WindowlessView]

Who cares about Area 51? Everyone knows the Stargates are in Cheyenne Mountain and antarctica.

Re:Oh bloody hell

[WindowlessView]

Thank you Sheldon. Now stop hogging the wi-fi.

Re:Good thing they kept it so secret

[MindlessAutomata]

If the Kremlin had learned what our prototypes looked like at that point, the russian economy probably would have been much stronger, they never would have embarked on those economic reforms that backfired, and they eventually would have won the cold war.

I'll say. We were fucking working on OX CARTS.

Re:Good thing they kept it so secret

[interkin3tic]

Oh yeah, and also it was very important that they keep the events there secret up until now. Some might ask why the hell you would need to keep it secret almost 50 years later, about a decade after the plane itself (not the prototype, the actual plane) was mothballed. But those people who would ask that are unamerican commie bastards.

Re:I WANT TO BELIEVE

[Anonymous Coward]

But, beware of the Aliens in AREA 69; they taste funny.

Re:I WANT TO BELIEVE

[Mozk]

Is that the Area 42 over in Base 13?

Re:It's all bollocks!

[Tony Hoyle]

This is true - they are adept at disguising their ships as hub caps, lamp shades and dustbin lids. Advanced technology in their ships also causes all photographs to come out blurry.

Re:It's all bollocks!

[Machtyn]

Apparently, you don't know much about the ship full of salesman, accountants, military, and public phone cleaners.

Hidden revelations from the article..

[homesnatch]

The truth comes out, but was hard to find in the article...

Colonel Hugh 'Slip' Slater, 87, was commander of the Area 51 base in the 1960s. Thornton 'T.D.' Barnes, 72, was an Area 51 special-projects engineer. Xorbz Blazzeet, 179, from the Orion system was dissected and stored in an Area 51 freezer for 16 years. And Harry Martin, 77, was one of the men in charge of the base's half-million-gallon monthly supply of spy-plane fuels.

Re:I WANT TO BELIEVE

[noidentity]

Is that the Area 42 over in Base 13?

I think it's in base 10 (decimal), actually.

Re:I know too much

[vishbar]

Joke's on you. They made an alien governor up there.

Re:Area 51 or area 51A?

[JWSmythe]

    I have been cleared to state, there may or may not be an Area 51A. I cannot confirm nor deny the designation, purpose, or location, should such a location exist.

    I hope that clarifies things for you.

    Our next statement on the issue will come in 50 years.

Re:I WANT TO BELIEVE

[bakes]

What about area 34? That's where the government keeps its huge stash of porn mags...

No, that's Area 69.

Re:I WANT TO BELIEVE

[CarpetShark]

No, that's Area 69.

Actually that's two areas.

Re:I WANT TO BELIEVE

[bcmm]

where are all the "your base" jokes? am i missing something?

That is an old, obsolete meme; we've moved on and support for the meme was officially withdrawn last week. According to current plans, you still have a couple of years to use "Hot Grits", however, before that one is EOLed.