Slashdot Mirror
WHO Raises Swine Flu Threat Level
Solarch writes "Late in the afternoon on Wednesday, the WHO raised the pandemic threat level for H1N1 "swine flu" to 5. Global media outlets(such as CNN, Fox News, and the BBC) preempted normal broadcast coverage and immediately published stories on their websites. To clarify, the WHO's elevation is mainly a sign to governments that the virus is spreading quickly and that steps should be taken on a governmental level to stage supplies and medicines to combat a possible pandemic. Unfortunately, broadcast coverage focused on phrases like 'pandemic imminent' (CNN marquee).
In other news, patient zero, the medical term for the initial human vector of a disease, has been tentatively identified in Mexico."
Who does raise the swine flu threat level?
""Late in the afternoon on Wednesday, the WHO raised the pandemic threat level for H1N1 "swine flu" to 5."
Wow. I knew they had good music but I did not know Peter Townshend was in charge of changing pandemic threat levels.
Yes! I listen to NYC Speedcore and do math at 3AM. I suggest you try it too.
> Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it
> would imply if I caught it...
Then call it Mexican flu.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
The media can do what they will with this non-story.
I'm safe - I don't believe in that e-vo-lution crap, so this new disease could not have evolved from swine! It's all just pig nonsense.
I'm going back to prepare a round of raw bacon sushi!
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
Bah, we all should know this "swine flu" is actually a well orchestrated distraction from our real threat.
ZOMBIES!
Fear not the Swine Flu pandemic. Fear instead the imminent Zombie pandemic.
Unless of course this is just phase 1...
Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it would imply if I caught it...
You're thinking of Swine Syphillis.
Don't kid yourself, slashdot-netizen, chances are you don't get enough human interaction or even sunlight to risk infection. You're as good as immune.
It's the Aporkalypse!
For example, Madagascar has just closed its seaport. And here I was, so close, to winning :(
That page is riddled with [citation needed]. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
That's actually what Israel is calling it. I guess "swine flu" isn't kosher.
...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
This is how it always starts...
The Dr and Rose appear on a spaceship cunningly disguised as a planet only to find there's a mysterious disease that's killing spectacularly low numbers of people who all happen to live in the same city. Normally he wouldn't worry about it but Rose manages to get infected so the Dr raises the threat level to OMG. He works night and day to find a cure only to be forced to infect himself, die from the disease, but not really as his seemingly magic, but really explainable in materialistic terms, Time Lord powers cause him to regenerate in the form of Tom Baker.
He draws some of his own blood with his sonic screwdriver and, treats Rose, who makes a full recovery. As a gesture of good will, and for the episode to end on a relative high note (despite Tom Baker's haggard appearance), he takes the TARDIS into a low "earth" orbit and sprays the serum into the jet stream, thus curing and inoculating most of the world. The Dr and Rose leave for better times.
Just moments later the Vogons appear and destroy the world to make way for hyperspace bypass.
Swine flu is a horrible name.
I'm going to call it "bacon lung".
Everything's better with bacon.
Just make sure you don't get caught downloading the iraq war. With all the money they put into it, I don't think they'd be happy to find it being torrented.
The shareholder is always right.