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Microsoft Raises $3.8B in Bond Sale
pfleming writes "Microsoft quietly, or not so quietly, raised some cheap cash in bond sales yesterday. For a company that already has a huge cash war chest and doesn't carry debt, what is the incentive to sell nearly $4 billion in bonds? From the article: 'Microsoft is sitting on $25 billion in cash, so the company doesn't need the bond proceeds "unless they have something big in mind," says Reena Aggarwal, professor of finance at Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business.'"
The name is bonds... Microsoft Bonds.
http://www.geoffreylandis.com
8 Billion to buy Sun out from under Oracle.
The rest for the antitrust lawsuits.
If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
Maybe they want to buy GM?
The Bonds will fund refunds for Vista, and Windows 7 from consumers who want to downgrade to XP, or upgrade to Ubuntu.
They're moving off planet to avoid problems with anti-trust regulation. Also, chairs thrown from the moon will have much greater impact on earth based targets.
The only positive of that, is MAYBE MS would kill off Business Objects once and for all (yes, I know, a pipe dream)
No no they are building the solar train, the numbers add up.
I'm investing my life savings in Seattle-based office furniture retailers.
Help save the critically endangered Blue Iguana
Thats a ridiculous idea.
He wouldnt sell well in international markets.
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beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
Duke. Nukem. Forever.
Microsoft Bondage.
ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI!?
Actually, now is a great time to issue bonds. Interest rates are extremely low (particularly for well-rated bonds which MS bonds assuredly will be) so if they can expect even a modest return on the bonds, they'll do well.
My gut tells me that this is a hedge against inflation, not a cash-raising effort for some diabolical plan.
On the other hand, this may be part of Gatus's effort to collaborate with Joba to create the One True OS with Global Web Search in order to stop Googol the Destroyer.
When last we saw our heroes they had embarked on their quest to stop Googol the Destroyer and his infernal plan to invoke the End of Days via the Rite of a Million Targeted Ads, but the rogue druid Stallmanx was hampering their efforts by biasing the common sorceror against them.
"Joba," the Oracle at Redwood Shores proclaimed, "You must harness the power of all the sorcerors of the land to stop Googol. Only by having them all contribute to the One True yada-yada can you stop Googol. I have spoken!"
And so Joba consulted with Gatus. "Gatus, how can we get all the other sorcerors to contribute? They don't like us, that bearded wretch Stallmanx has turned them all against us."
Gatus thought and thought, but in the end he resorted to his base nature... "I will buy the sorcerors we need! I'm short of cash though, I need another 5 billion. Maybe I could issue some bonds.".
Intrigued, Joba responded. "Yes, you can buy the greedy ones. I can use my powers of seduction and envy to make them all want to be like me. Yes, I will subvert the Ministers of Fashion to convert the low self-esteem rabble to our cause."
And so Gatus and Joba began to plan.
Meanwhile, the crack team of evil underlords at Google were busy with their database of potential ways for the world to be saved, and developing their counter-strategies. The acolytes of Googol the Destroyer were busily releasing the Webcrawling Spiders of Damnation upon the world, to catch information to sacrifice to their terrible leader, who devoured data with great appetite and gobsmacking satisfaction.
But Stallmanx is quiet... what is he working on in his secret laboratory? What nefarious ritual is he preparing to thwart our heroes? Will Joba and Gatus be able to overcome his resistance? Will we ever find out what wonders lie beneath the surface of Stallmanx's Beard of Druidic Prowess? Can Googol the Destroyer be thwarted?
Tune in to next week's episode of Google the Destroyer!
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
But they could buy Yahoo for the change in Bill Gates' couch cushions. If they wait 6 months, they could buy Yahoo from the change in Steve Ballmer's couch cushions. Maybe they're planning on buying the Justice Department outright to avoid any future "misunderstandings".
Apple made Microsoft a present: One iPod for every Microsoft employee. $3.8 bn is the money that Microsoft needs now to fill these iPods with music :-)
they could buy Yahoo from the change in Steve Ballmer's couch cushions.
I don't think you're aware of how Ballmer treats seating furniture.
Read Slashdot comments from Sep'05 on any MS related article for more insight into this matter.
Yes I do hate Jesus, that son of a bitch hasn't shown up for work for 2000 years now..
that's how much its gonna cost to bail out SCO.
Going on means going far
Going far means returning
Ye gods. And replace it with SAP? Talk about "six of one, half a dozen of the other".
MS is just getting enough cash to run a round of 2 million "Laptop Hunters" commercials.
"We told everybody in the state of New Mexico, you find a laptop for under $2000, you keep it."
Georgia Tech, the leader in Chia(tm) technology.
They are going to buy SCO.
Once the IBM lawsuit is over, they'll be getting thaat 4 bilion from the settlement, and they'll also be getting that $650 from every Linux user, so they'll be rolling in cash.
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
There you go again - messing up a perfectly good theory with logic and facts. You should probably lurk for a while until you get an idea of how things work around here.
I had another idea.
Maybe Microsoft is finally going to buy a vacuum cleaner company, so they can put out a product that doesn't suck.
If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
Hookers and blackjack.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
GM.
Or, as we will know it, "Microsoft Cars."
I don't believe in time. It's a grand conspiracy designed to sell watches.
The DoJ just announced they'll be paying more attention to anti-trust issues in general (apparently a reversal of a Bush mandate). So now may be a bad time for MS to scoop up the competition, even if Yahoo is currently at a bargain price. There's now a higher chance the purchase would be blocked, or later anti-trust action could be taken if they're not careful.
The DoJ just announced they'll be paying more attention to anti-trust issues in general. So now may be a good time for MS to bribe a few government officials...
There's no place like
Windows-like "openness"?? Are we using the same OS?
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Not just difficult, it would be a miracle.
I hope they do treat it like the first xbox, and release a modified laptop in a huge case, with a speaker and mic stapled on.