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Microsoft Rebrands Live Search As "Bing"
JacobSteelsmith writes "Microsoft is attempting to re-brand its Live Search, also known as Kumo. Bing, as it's known, is another attempt by Microsoft to lure consumers away from Internet search leaders such as Google. Microsoft has posted a quarterly loss in its online advertising business, compared to Google's sales, $4.7 billion in the first quarter. According to the Live Search blog, Bing goes 'beyond the traditional search engines to help you make faster, more informed decisions' by combining a 'great search engine' with organized results. It also adds unique tools to help the user make important decisions. It is being touted as a 'decision engine.'"
"Here, let me bing that for you."
Hmmmm... No.
So what's the new branding going to be after this one fails? Bong?
This has Monty Python written all over it.
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
Bing goes 'beyond the traditional search engines to help you make faster, more informed decisions' by combining a 'great search engine' with organized results.
They change the search engine's name in an effort to draw a crowd, then they fuck it up by weighing it down with language that's awful damn close to the infinitely-scalable enterprise class web 2.0 productivity enhancement solution corporatespeak that makes people roll their eyes.
Ned: "Guess who!"
Phil: "Ned? Ned Ryerson?"
Ned: "BING!"
Bing! Fries are done! Hmm. Progress, but still no dice...
True, however:
... thank god for bing."
Developer One: "You know that hot girl I met at the bar last night?"
Developer Two: "Yeah?"
Developer One: "I bing'd her."
Developer Two: "No way! What did you find?"
Developer One: "Bing says she's categorized as head of a right wing conservative group that attracts females and funnels money into Karl Rove."
Developer Two: "Ohhh, dude that sucks, maybe next time?"
Developer One: "Yeah
My work here is dung.
"Bob, where's my bong?"
"Have you tried looking underneath your belt?"
"Not that bong, Bob. The other bong."
Bing Is Not Google
Yes, on a web site focused on FOSS the readership will now complain about the name selected by Microsoft for their search engine.
Some examples of the naming accumen of the FOSS crowd:
- Ogg Vorbis
- Gimp
- Apache
- IceWeasel
- Thunderbird
- X
- Gnome
- Prefacing thousands of KDE apps with K
- Gnu
- A thousand other recursive acronyms
- etc etc etc
So what's the new branding going to be after this one fails? Bong?
Nah, I think it's going to be "Bang" so that sentences like this happen:
"I couldn't find the answer in my textbook so I Banged it."
My work here is dung.
Ned: Phil? Hey, Phil? Phil! Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you!
Phil: Hi, how you doing? Thanks for watching.
[Starts to walk away]
Ned: Hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you.
Phil: Not a chance.
Ned: Ned... Ryerson. "Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. Ned Ryerson: I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Ned Ryerson: got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson: I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Phil: Ned Ryerson?
Ned: Bing!
Phil: Bing.
Good-bye
<VOICE type="Chandler Bing">
Could this branding be any more lame?
</VOICE>
Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
No, but I predict people will start pronouncing it as "Bung". As in:
I went to google the answer, but this damn computer has the wrong search installed and my question went down the bung hole!
I love how the live desktop search tells you everything install chronologically after it is going to stop functioning if you remove the MS search. Well, maybe bung will finally let you find answers to technical issues half as well as google search - then MS might be able to bribe some more people to play with it's bung.
I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress -J Adams
It's just that (4) isn't clear.
If "Bing" fails, the next name will be "Squirt".
But won't that confuse the 2 owners of a Zune who have been squirting songs to each other?
Unfortunately, they are once again just binging their head against a wall.
Could their results be any more organised?
No kidding!!! What do you say at this point?
You forgot "~" at the end of first sentence.
One that hath name thou can not otter
So what's the new branding going to be after this one fails? Bong?
Well, it would be popular with the stoner crowd..
Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
"Bob, where's my bong?" "Have you tried looking underneath your belt?" "Not that bong, Bob. The other bong."
Did you try binging your bong?
Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'