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14-Year-Old Boy Smote By Meteorite
eldavojohn writes "Winning the lottery requires incredible luck and one in a million odds. So does getting hit by a falling space rock. A 14-year-old German boy was granted a three-inch scar by the gods. A pea-sized meteorite smote young Gerrit Blank's hand before leaving a foot-sized crater on the road. The boy's account: 'At first I just saw a large ball of light, and then I suddenly felt a pain in my hand. Then a split second after that there was an enormous bang like a crash of thunder. The noise that came after the flash of light was so loud that my ears were ringing for hours afterwards. When it hit me it knocked me flying and then was still going fast enough to bury itself into the road.' Curiously, the rock was magnetic, and tests were done to verify it is extraterrestrial. The Telegraph notes the only other recorded event of a meteorite striking a person was 'in November 1954 when a grapefruit-sized fragment crashed through the roof of a house, bounced off furniture and landed on a sleeping woman.' Space.com lists a few more anomalies and we discussed the probability of these things downing aircraft recently."
Great story to tell your parents after you've burned yourself with the crack pipe.
FML.
Sometimes, life itself is sarcasm...
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Clearly, this kid is all set to gain numerous super-powers from his encounter.
This reminds me of an arguement I had with a co-worker about extra-terrestrial life a few years back.
Him: Do you know how much stuff would have to be just right for that to happen? It'd be like hitting the lottery.
Me: People hit the lottery every week.
Checkmate.
the gods or whatever clearly hate this kid, maybe we should take the hint and finish him off
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Evelyn Beatrice Hall, re Voltaire
What is more amazing is that it struck a 14-year-old German. I didn't think these things existed anymore; I thought all Germans were over 40 by now.
...and that meteorite is the best he can do?
I would've expected a press conference, at least...
Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
This guy now automatically wins all bar scar-comparing competitions (when he's allowed to go in a bar, that is).
See this? My cat attacked me, gashed my wrist all the way to the bone.
That's nothing. Look here, rabid racoon, I had to be quarantined for days.
Child's play. Look at this, shot myself with a nail gun, stumbled back and stepped on a rake.
Oh yeah? Well God shot me with a meteorite.
"Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
For everyone who can't see it because the image was cropped, I can confirm that the scar is indeed shaped exactly like a lightning bolt. In line with the prophecy from 1979 that states that "the boy who lived" with "lightning in his hand" may one day confront and defeat the terrifying Asteroid menace, I believe we have finally found our champion, the one who finally end the Asteroid threat to all of Earth once and for all. But we'll have to work hard to keep more Asteroids from hitting him in the meantime... are we up to it? I believe so. It is - he is... perhaps our greatest hope.
Another example, shoot a bullet straight up*...
Are you just trying to see how many of the dumber /.ers you can kill? Cause I hear you can get a higher % return at digg.
(ack the low blow for comedy's sake)
So now what? random genetic mutations? Green Skin? Red Laser Shooting Eyes?
Or maybe something cool like a sex hungry space alien ala Species?
"i lost my dignity on a slippery wiener"
...the dog ate my homework was good enough!
you fail!!!!! it is spelled H-A-N-D
it seems the meteorite has made him grow to 4-5 times the size of cars next to him
i saw this in a 1950s science documentary involving a woman who grew 50 feet tall and deranged from this sort of tragic accident
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Clearly he is some sort of Cylon or Terminator as the magnetic rock was attracted to him...
Curiously it his his hand, which means either Luke Skywalker or a certain state alchemist...
So I am a bit torn as to if we should mob him or not. Better burn him just to be sure. Probably a witch anyway.
Also if he was like Magneto, he would probably make the meteor not hit him I would guess. Which would make him sort sort of Anti-Magneto, his arch nemesis. Which ironically are quite common and Magneto doesn't really like them either. Unless you are in a alternative universe, in which case the opposite would be true.
Its Friday and I am ready to go home now... :)
He gets his own movie, Gerite Point Blank
If he's the Walrus then can I be a penguin please?
"If we can hit that bulls-eye then all the dominoes will fall like a house of cards, checkmate!" --Zapp Brannigan
or maybe I'm just the only ID10T
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Wow, I'm a serious grammar Nazi, and even I'M not that much of a dick.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
** Grabs his trusty "geek mentality and social stigmatization program" CD and installs **
Ah, that's better.
What is this "SCORE!" thing anyway?...
You mean, with like a real live girl?!?!? That would rule!
So, that's twice in one century. Maybe there's too many people on the planet.
Pour gin over space rocks, shake at terminal velocity, voilÃ, one more drink to compete with the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.
There are actually two types of Americans who say 'smitten': those who become lovestruck and those who play D&D. These groups are mutually exclusive.
I like how they also include an actual photograph of the meteoroid traveling through space.
"Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black