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Artist Wins £20,000 Grant To Study Women's Butts

Posted by samzenpus on from the been-doing-a-lot-of-extra-credit-lately dept.

Sue Williams has been awarded a £20,000 grant by the Arts Council of Wales, to "explore cultural attitudes towards female buttocks." Sue plans to examine racial attitudes towards bottoms in Europe and Africa and create plaster casts of women's behinds to try to understand their place in contemporary culture. And here I've been studying the issue all these years for free like a sucker!

52 of 202 comments (clear)

  1. Sir Begs-A-Lot by plover · · Score: 5, Funny

    I like big grants and I can not lie
    You other post-docs can't deny
    That when a sponsor walks in with a stupid-ass proposal
    A fat wallet at your disposal
    You get sprung
    Wanna pull up tough
    Cuz you notice that purse was stuffed
    Full of the cash you're needing
    I'm hooked and I can't stop spending

    Baby's got cash
    Baby's got cash
    Little in tha middle but she got big backers

    --
    John
    1. Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Explore cultural attitudes?

      There are some things I'd like to explore myself. But I expect it would be something along the lines of tactile variations and relative spherical dimensions, you know - more touchy-feely than pure academic.

      What was the size of that grant? How many copies of King magazine can I buy with that?

      --
      "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
    2. Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Oh, look! The story's in The Sun.

      Did they print 'er on Page 3?

      --
      "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
    3. Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot by therufus · · Score: 3, Funny

      The first grant offer was 20,000 pounds. The artist wasn't happy.

      They had to UUH, double up, UUH UUH!

      --
      You moved your mouse. Please restart Windows for changes to take effect.
    4. Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot by sentientbeing · · Score: 3, Funny

      The research material and surveying software is online:

      http://www.mobileasses.com/

      --

      ------
      beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
  2. Re:what?!? by MightyMartian · · Score: 5, Funny

    it's not even a male artist?

    This just keeps getting better!

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  3. Please tell me... by cptnapalm · · Score: 3, Funny

    Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.

  4. Changing profession by Starlon · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got dibs on breasts.

    --
    Health Freedom is almost as popular as Freedom itself.
    1. Re:Changing profession by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

      I got dibs on breasts.

      uh....I git cameltoes!
           

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
  5. Artist getting to the bottom of it by shking · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey! Somebody had to say it!

    --
    -- "At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1" -- PC Magazine, Nov. 1994
    1. Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it by dr_dank · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm sure this researcher doesn't appreciate being the butt of your joke.

      --
      Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
    2. Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it by shking · · Score: 3, Funny

      It won't end well.

      --
      -- "At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1" -- PC Magazine, Nov. 1994
    3. Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it by hey! · · Score: 2, Funny

      But I'm sure she'll turn the other cheek.

      I can't believe I'm actually encouraging one of these threads...

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    4. Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it by hey! · · Score: 3, Funny

      The worst I've seen in many moons.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    5. Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it by jeffshoaf · · Score: 2, Funny

      She can borrow my sig!

      --
      Putting the "anal" back into "analyst"...
  6. Kari Byron's debut by spaceyhackerlady · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Remember Kari Byron's debut on Mythbusters?

    1. Re:Kari Byron's debut by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      Yeeeeah..... one of the greatest episodes of Mythbusters.....

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykhSLNlx3n0

      0m 19sec....

  7. I've got a theory by whereiswaldo · · Score: 4, Funny

    My theory is there is a relationship between butts and breasts:

    Women with the nicest butts have smaller breasts.

    Women with larger breasts have pudgier butts.

    Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have fake breasts.

    My guess on the outcome of the study is that all straight men like looking at women's butts.

    That'll be 20k please. :)

    1. Re:I've got a theory by Tom · · Score: 3, Interesting

      That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

      Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

      I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
    2. Re:I've got a theory by AuMatar · · Score: 5, Funny

      everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven

      One out of 3 ain't bad?

      --
      I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
    3. Re:I've got a theory by dredwerker · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

      Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

      I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

      mundane........ sheeesh only on slashdot

      --
      On a long enough timeline. The survival rate for everyone drops to zero. Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, 1996
    4. Re:I've got a theory by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

      Interesting fact: none of those things were ever widely believed.

      People have know the Earth was spherical since ancient times. Remember when Columbus set sail? He knew, setting out, that he could reach India if he sailed west. He just didn't realise there was another continent in the way.

      Nobody (in the Christian west, at least) ever believed women have no souls. We're talking about a time when people practically worshipped the Virgin Mary. She was a woman, remember?

      Nobody but children ever believed that heaven was just above the clouds. You could see it wasn't by opening your eyes and pointing them upwards on a clear night. Ancient cosmology placed the spherical Earth at the centre of a series of other spheres, on which were fixed the moon, the sun, the planets, and finally the stars. Heaven was the perfect final sphere beyond the stars -- a long, long way away.

      Nobody ever debated angels dancing on the heads of pins. That was a lie invented to ridicule the genuine theological debates that took place. No doubt future generations will claim that we spent all our time arguing over how many NetBSD VMs could dance on the head of a toaster.

      Few people ever believed heathens weren't human. Why would God condemn animals to an eternity screaming in the fires of hell?

      I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that

      Given the number of myths you seem to have accepted unquestioningly, I have my doubts as to whether you have moved beyond that at all.

    5. Re:I've got a theory by jonaskoelker · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have boyfriends.

      There's the real problem :(

    6. Re:I've got a theory by ILongForDarkness · · Score: 2, Funny

      Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

      Gravity might be important but I'm comfortable letting it do what its going to do. Women's butts on the other hand, well God made them for me to enjoy staring at and who am I to disobey God.

      People still don't know if women have souls, or if heaven isn't above the clouds and probably will never confirm it with an experiment. That would be a great research project: guaranteed funding for life.

    7. Re:I've got a theory by dargaud · · Score: 2, Funny

      Reminds me of a story of a friend of a friend who found that her breast was too small. A friend of her told her to gain a bit of weight, as it would probably increase its size. She obliged, but it all went 'down there'. Upon the failure of said tactic, she went on a diet to revert to her original frame: she lost her breast entirely but kept the additional butt fat. She wanted to crucify her 'adviser'.

      --
      Non-Linux Penguins ?
    8. Re:I've got a theory by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 3, Informative

      I don't know, but I've been told: it's big-legged women who are soulless.

      --
      Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
    9. Re:I've got a theory by Tom · · Score: 3, Informative

      Remember when Columbus set sail? He knew, setting out, that he could reach India if he sailed west. He just didn't realise there was another continent in the way.

      For one, that was fairly late, past the dark ages. Two, there was still a vocal minority (end of the 15th century!) that claimed he'd fall off the edge. Lately, the division of the world between Spain and Portugal that was made by the pope only works on the assumption of a flat earth, if you care to check it out. On a spherical world, you need two border lines, not one.

      Nobody (in the Christian west, at least) ever believed women have no souls. We're talking about a time when people practically worshipped the Virgin Mary. She was a woman, remember?

      Yes, as the vessel of the birth, not as herself. You can do the research yourself, I assure you the topic was under hot discussion by the so-called "intelligentia" of the time (aka priests).

      Nobody but children ever believed that heaven was just above the clouds.

      Weird, we have a lot of pictures that speak a different language, and art history experts say they weren't meant metaphorical in the sense we understand today.

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
    10. Re:I've got a theory by Tom · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I believe you are giving our ancestors more credit than they are due with the "heavens" thing.

      We have quite solid linguistic and historic evidence that abstract thinking of the kind we consider normal today is a relatively recent invention, definitely not made before the greeks (and thus after most of the old testament). Ancient man was very much "grounded in reality" in his speech and thoughts. For example, the "burning bush" part is almost certainly a hallucination, not a metaphor.

      I do agree that the meaning of ancient texts has changed over time. What you see in the bible is certainly not the same meaning that some early christian saw in it. The discussion usually centers on individual terms (the most famous one being he "young woman" vs. "virgin" debate, of course), but it applies much more so to general meaning and view of the world.

      You should also note that art especially was not as removed from reality as we see it today. For almost all of human history, art was more of a craft than a remote expression of some weirdos, as we often see it today. In fact, in old greek the word for "art" and "craft" is the same word. Again, ancient artworks can far more often be assumed to be directly interpretable rather than metaphorical. Cave paintings depicting hunting scenes were almost certainly meant to - depict hunting scenes, not visualize the struggle of mankind via the metaphor of hunting, as a modern painting might.

      Finally, "where the gods are" (monotheism being an unusual and late concept) was largely a non-question until the middle ages. To ancient man, the gods were all around them, sharing physical reality. "The Golden Bough" is the primary authority book on the subject and contains more examples than you can shake a stick at. Some interesting research also indicates that due to neurological differences in the brain, ancient man actually heard the voices of the gods, not imagined or assumed them (cf. "The breakdown of the bicameral mind"). Much research has been done regarding a considerable difference in the world-ego perception between early greeks and late greeks (the Homerian texts usually assumed to indicate the split line), and it can be assumed that the same event happend to other cultures around the world at roughly the same time (which means within a couple hundred years, in this context).

      With all things that we share, there is also a huge abyss between us and ancient man, and we have as much difficulty "thinking in their heads" as we'd have with modern-age aliens.

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
  8. Plaster? by Jeff+DeMaagd · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans. I just don't see how plaster can do the job nearly as well given how gravity affects both plaster molding and human parts. The mass of the plaster can also affect how it molds a shape.

  9. Please, please... by newcastlejon · · Score: 2, Informative

    At least call them arses. You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at (fanny will get you an altogether different response)

    --
    If God forks the Universe every time you roll a die, he'd better have a damned good memory.
    1. Re:Please, please... by interkin3tic · · Score: 5, Funny

      You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at

      This is my biggest fear, meaning to say something serious about a butt in the UK and getting laughed at.

  10. Re:1992 is calling... by JeanBaptiste · · Score: 5, Funny

    And it's been peer-reviewed. The other brothers can't deny.

  11. There's no honor by SpaghettiPattern · · Score: 4, Funny

    There is no honor in accepting gifts to study women's derriere. A cavalier does this pro deo and pro patria. Indeed I do so vigorously and relentlessly.

    I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces.

    If anything, differences in skin, religion and culture intensify our bond as we admire in reverend awe every single instance. (However, when our duties are accomplished we might take up where we left and proceed with cracking each other's sculls.)

    Now I shall drink tea whilst adopting the erected wee finger position.

    To women's backsides we all cheer hooray!

    --

    I hadn't the slightest objection to his spending his time planning massacres for the bourgeoisie... (P.G. Wodehouse)
    1. Re:There's no honor by SpaghettiPattern · · Score: 2, Interesting

      admire in reverend awe every single instance.

      Here's where I've got to disagree with you, since there are quite a lot of fat women who have really ugly (and probably stinky) butts.

      The indoctrination machine proclaiming that sufferer of anorexia are sexy and desirable works miracles. IMHO dimension is not a pejorative factor of the women's behind. Shape of the derriere, the transition to and coherence with other body parts can make my charisma grow like a mountain flower in spring.

      Free yourself from the tyranny of the motion picture industry! The truth induced on you by them simply isn't. Appreciate the female behind by considering all shapes and forms. And contemplate many, many shapes before judging. <INSERT GOSPEL QUOTE HERE>

      --

      I hadn't the slightest objection to his spending his time planning massacres for the bourgeoisie... (P.G. Wodehouse)
    2. Re:There's no honor by argStyopa · · Score: 2, Insightful

      "I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces."

      Its one of the things that lets me remain optimistic that there is indeed, still hope in our world.

      No matter how politically correct the world gets, no matter how relentless the indoctrination of gender respect and overall metrosexualization of our culture generally...men are ultimately men.

      In any context, from the most blue-collar industrial zone to the rarefied heights of government, academia, or business - if a woman with a sweet ass walks past, and they think that they can 'get away with it', the slightest glance plus a faint smirk or barely raised eyebrow will IMMEDIATELY join those men in a brief fraternity of appreciation. Politics, culture, language, economics, social class - any differences instantly disappear as they look at each other and all share a moment of joy.

      Really, that makes me happy.

      --
      -Styopa
  12. That is about 1600 lap dances by mcwop · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fewer if you factor in cover charge, and drinks. Just stay out of the VIP room.

    --

    "I don't think it's selfish, to eat defenseless shellfish." -NOFX

  13. Gives new meaning to study abroad by rattaroaz · · Score: 4, Funny

    I always wanted to study abroad, but now he gets paid for it? Neat!

  14. Economy by Daswolfen · · Score: 4, Funny

    I believe this is what the call a stimulus package... or do I have that backwards? :P

    --
    Don't rush me, Sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
  15. Psychophysiology of Gluteal Recognition? by bughunter · · Score: 5, Funny

    When I was a pimply, hormone-addled teen going thru puberty, I could identify every female in my high school, from behind, at a distance of up to a quarter mile.

    Despite the prevalence of ultra-tight acid-washed jeans in the early 80's, my skill didn't rely solely on shape, oh no. A detailed analysis of cyclic ambulatory gluteal displacement was key to identification.

    I thought I was the only one who had this talent, until much later when I learned it is actually common. (Same goes for the "mental VCR," aka spankbank, but that's another story.)

    Is this going to be a part of the study?

    --
    I can see the fnords!
  16. I believe the thought process has eluded you by SuperKendall · · Score: 3, Funny

    I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans

    You don't get to spread lasers on thousands of female rear ends by hand.

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  17. There is one! by rattaroaz · · Score: 2, Funny

    Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.

    It's in the Astronomy class. Look under the topic of Uranus.

    1. Re:There is one! by Nutria · · Score: 2, Funny

      Look under the topic of Uranus.

      Didn't they change the name to Urectum??

      --
      "I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
  18. Re:More proper filing by MLease · · Score: 2, Funny

    Because it's for SCIENCE!!! You know, Buttology! Er, Assology? Derrieratrics? Hmm....

    -Mike

    --
    I'm sorry; I don't know what I was thinking!
  19. I could have done this in 10 seconds. by Lord+Kano · · Score: 4, Funny

    Black guys like the biggest asses. White guys like smaller asses. Asian guys like the smallest asses.

    Can I have 20K now?

    LK

    --
    "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
  20. He'll be the 'butt' of many jokes ... by burisch_research · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wish that i could 'bum' around all day -- but i guess i'd end up looking like an 'ass', because i'd be the 'butt' of so many jokes. It's a bum job, but someone has to do it. Guess he's doing it for 'posterior'ity.

    --
    char*f="char*f=%c%s%c;main(){printf(f,34,f,34);}";main(){printf(f,34,f,34);}
  21. Guide to British English by Kupfernigk · · Score: 4, Informative
    • Butt - a garden water container
    • Bottom - the polite word for the buttocks
    • Front bottom - the excruciatingly twee expression for the female pubic region. Lower middle class and evangelical Christians only.
    • Bum - depending on context, the buttocks, anal region or pubic region.
    • Arse - ambiguous: can mean either the buttocks, the anal region or the rectum. Best avoided by foreigners
    • Fanny - ambiguous, can mean either the buttocks or the female sexual apparatus depending on context. Always has a sexual connotation, though.
    • C**t - ambiguous, can mean either the female sexual apparatus or someone you disapprove of. Not safe for foreigners.
    • Quant, quaint or queynt - old English word meaning female pubic region. Also used in hedge funds as a swear word.

    The British, by the way, imagine Japanese to be a language full of double meanings and potential minefields.

    --
    From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
    1. Re:Guide to British English by jabithew · · Score: 2, Informative

      A couple of modifications;

      I've never heard fanny mean arse over here (SE England/London).
      I have heard bum to mean a person who is a waste of space as well.
      Also have heard arse to mean someone disapproved of.

      --
      All intents and purposes. Not intensive purposes.
  22. I've got moderator points by jaakkeli · · Score: 4, Funny

    butt I couldn't find the option "-1 Anal".

  23. Re:what?!? by laejoh · · Score: 2, Informative

    Never heard of a boy named Sue? I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

  24. Be careful what you ask for... by hey! · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Remember when you were a kid? I bet you'd have loved to go to computer camp. Now that you work in computers, you'd never go to computer camp on your vacation; you'd go to a resort that gives you opportunities to go outside and play.

    I've been on a couple of paleontology digs. It's really cool hauling sacks of dirt for a few days, tolerable for a few weeks. Other tasks have different charm half-lives. Hiking through the badlands prospecting for bones that have washed out is probably has the longest appeal; I could spend months doing that. My job required doing this for a couple of weeks, but if I had to spend all summer at it, I'd probably be looking forward to riding the subway and getting a latte at Starbucks when I got back.

    If your job was looking at asses all day long, I bet you'd want to spend your vacation in a monastery.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    1. Re:Be careful what you ask for... by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      If your job was looking at asses all day long, I bet you'd want to spend your vacation in a monastery.

      I have to disagree. I understand your general point, but we're talking about getting paid to stare at butts. You know, butts! Those things we'd stare at 24/7 if we didn't have to take a break to eat! I've gotten tired of sports, of programming, and of listening to music, but never in my life have I thought, "you know, I've seen too many butts today." I'm not even sure if that's correct grammar because my brain has trouble parsing it. Forget the sound of one hand clapping. How many butts are too many? The question is meaningless!

      --
      Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
  25. It's Not News, It's In "The Sun" by pandrijeczko · · Score: 3, Informative

    For those non-British residents amongst you, "The Sun" is an utter rag of a newspaper that uses any excuse to print parts of the female anatomy for the sake of an article - Page 3 of the paper daily has a topless model.

    I'm a lover of the female anatomy as much as any other red-blooded male, but ignore anything published in it or anything else owned by Rupert Murdoch.

    I would not even wipe my backside on it following a visit to the toilet, just in case I caught something from it.

    --
    Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.