Slashdot Mirror
Artist Wins £20,000 Grant To Study Women's Butts
Sue Williams has been awarded a £20,000 grant by the Arts Council of Wales, to "explore cultural attitudes towards female buttocks." Sue plans to examine racial attitudes towards bottoms in Europe and Africa and create plaster casts of women's behinds to try to understand their place in contemporary culture. And here I've been studying the issue all these years for free like a sucker!
I like big grants and I can not lie
You other post-docs can't deny
That when a sponsor walks in with a stupid-ass proposal
A fat wallet at your disposal
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that purse was stuffed
Full of the cash you're needing
I'm hooked and I can't stop spending
Baby's got cash
Baby's got cash
Little in tha middle but she got big backers
John
it's not even a male artist?
Those of us who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.
Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.
I got dibs on breasts.
Health Freedom is almost as popular as Freedom itself.
Hey! Somebody had to say it!
-- "At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1" -- PC Magazine, Nov. 1994
...it's Sir Mix A Lot, he's done a study too apparently.
Remember Kari Byron's debut on Mythbusters?
My theory is there is a relationship between butts and breasts:
Women with the nicest butts have smaller breasts.
Women with larger breasts have pudgier butts.
Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have fake breasts.
My guess on the outcome of the study is that all straight men like looking at women's butts.
That'll be 20k please. :)
I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans. I just don't see how plaster can do the job nearly as well given how gravity affects both plaster molding and human parts. The mass of the plaster can also affect how it molds a shape.
They could save them selves twenty grand by hiring me, I'd do it for free. Infact, amongst the things I investigate regularily, I have thoroughly studied the subject matter over the years and could go right ahead write you a paper now.
After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
At least call them arses. You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at (fanny will get you an altogether different response)
If God forks the Universe every time you roll a die, he'd better have a damned good memory.
There is no honor in accepting gifts to study women's derriere. A cavalier does this pro deo and pro patria. Indeed I do so vigorously and relentlessly.
I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces.
If anything, differences in skin, religion and culture intensify our bond as we admire in reverend awe every single instance. (However, when our duties are accomplished we might take up where we left and proceed with cracking each other's sculls.)
Now I shall drink tea whilst adopting the erected wee finger position.
To women's backsides we all cheer hooray!
I hadn't the slightest objection to his spending his time planning massacres for the bourgeoisie... (P.G. Wodehouse)
Fewer if you factor in cover charge, and drinks. Just stay out of the VIP room.
"I don't think it's selfish, to eat defenseless shellfish." -NOFX
As of June 29, 1GBP = 1.67USD which makes it 33,400 USD. For those who missed that pound sign and keep referring to the amount as 20K dollars.
I always wanted to study abroad, but now he gets paid for it? Neat!
I believe this is what the call a stimulus package... or do I have that backwards? :P
Don't rush me, Sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
When I was a pimply, hormone-addled teen going thru puberty, I could identify every female in my high school, from behind, at a distance of up to a quarter mile.
Despite the prevalence of ultra-tight acid-washed jeans in the early 80's, my skill didn't rely solely on shape, oh no. A detailed analysis of cyclic ambulatory gluteal displacement was key to identification.
I thought I was the only one who had this talent, until much later when I learned it is actually common. (Same goes for the "mental VCR," aka spankbank, but that's another story.)
Is this going to be a part of the study?
I can see the fnords!
I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans
You don't get to spread lasers on thousands of female rear ends by hand.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.
It's in the Astronomy class. Look under the topic of Uranus.
Let's beat 'em to it and create Buttapedia.org
Table-ized A.I.
I can tell that pic probably came from a youtube capture. Extra mod points for whoever finds the movie! We can't give you a grant, but maybe someone can give you modpoints. And even if you don't find it, it's fun trying (unless maybe you accidentally drag up a tranny).
Table-ized A.I.
As in, you know, behinds.
Ahem.
Because it's for SCIENCE!!! You know, Buttology! Er, Assology? Derrieratrics? Hmm....
-Mike
I'm sorry; I don't know what I was thinking!
I find the exclusion of Asian buttocks interesting, but understandable given the absence of booty on the typical Asian female.
Here is a representative example.
If you don't want to repeat the past, stop living in it.
Black guys like the biggest asses. White guys like smaller asses. Asian guys like the smallest asses.
Can I have 20K now?
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
It's assential, baseic research.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
I wonder if he'll manage to make that a boring subject.
"Gosh! Butt's test again! I'm sick of this subject!"
Rome taught me patience and assiduous application to detail. Virtues which temper the boldness of great, general views.
Because this is serious stuff.
Wish that i could 'bum' around all day -- but i guess i'd end up looking like an 'ass', because i'd be the 'butt' of so many jokes. It's a bum job, but someone has to do it. Guess he's doing it for 'posterior'ity.
char*f="char*f=%c%s%c;main(){printf(f,34,f,34);}";main(){printf(f,34,f,34);}
The British, by the way, imagine Japanese to be a language full of double meanings and potential minefields.
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
My bro is a poet (professional, no less), who has previously shown some talent in the matter of separating the Arts Council from cash (he got them to pay him to go to Italy, repeat Ovid's trip down the Via Appia from Rome to Brindisi, and write poetry about it). He also very much enjoys viewing a shapely butt. So of course I've told him to get on with writing a grant application - Britain needs poetry in praise of bottoms, in these austere times.
"Cock Up Your Beaver" does not mean what you think. This sig is intended to clog filters and annoy do-gooders
I'm pretty sure Yoko Ono did this already, in "Bottoms".
butt I couldn't find the option "-1 Anal".
The artist Jamie McCartney of Brighton body castings http://www.brightonbodycasting.com/about-jamie-mccartney.php produces some closely related works featured in his Design A Vagina series that some may find unsuitable and NSFW http://www.brightonbodycasting.com/design-a-vagina.php
Who's pretending? The only people I know who say butt are children and actors on pre-watershed US programs.
If God forks the Universe every time you roll a die, he'd better have a damned good memory.
Remember, it's an arts council grant. That means that no conclusions will ever come from it and any written text which results will be pure twaddle.
You have to remember that artists - who, these days, basically have few if any skills - make extensive use of pseudo scientific terms to justify their nonsense. Usually there is no justification beyond self indulgence and a desire to avoid real work.
So hate me. Someone had to say it.
Remember when you were a kid? I bet you'd have loved to go to computer camp. Now that you work in computers, you'd never go to computer camp on your vacation; you'd go to a resort that gives you opportunities to go outside and play.
I've been on a couple of paleontology digs. It's really cool hauling sacks of dirt for a few days, tolerable for a few weeks. Other tasks have different charm half-lives. Hiking through the badlands prospecting for bones that have washed out is probably has the longest appeal; I could spend months doing that. My job required doing this for a couple of weeks, but if I had to spend all summer at it, I'd probably be looking forward to riding the subway and getting a latte at Starbucks when I got back.
If your job was looking at asses all day long, I bet you'd want to spend your vacation in a monastery.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
I've been studying womens butts all my life and I have never received so much as a dime.
Artists wins $20,000 grant to studying tacos.
Calls it a side project.
For those non-British residents amongst you, "The Sun" is an utter rag of a newspaper that uses any excuse to print parts of the female anatomy for the sake of an article - Page 3 of the paper daily has a topless model.
I'm a lover of the female anatomy as much as any other red-blooded male, but ignore anything published in it or anything else owned by Rupert Murdoch.
I would not even wipe my backside on it following a visit to the toilet, just in case I caught something from it.
Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
Men will do it with more passion... Most of them do it even without a conscious attempt. Should be given one chance ,.. even if it is with lesser compensation.
What say guys!! Any one claiming ... hehee....
As a sign of how far backwards we've gone, when the Miller tells his story "everybody" laughs at it except the Carpenter - including a nun and her retinue, a monk and two church officials. Today, Rupert Murdoch won't allow "toilet talk" in his tabloids.
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
http://assmatrix.com/ This fellow has been spearheading ass based research for the past 10 years.
13 year old white supremacists are shitty web designers.
Turk:
"Look, the only difference between a white woman and a black woman is that when a black woman says 'Does this make my butt look big?' you say 'HELL YES!'"
but why is this here? seriously?
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
ASSININE? I bet it will be the BUTT of all jokes. His nickname can be... "butt buddy"
I am sure he'll seek another grant to study bosoms/breasts, and he'll produce a MOUND of information. I am sure he'll enjoy knockwurst while he knocks on doors looking to measure knockers. He might even be knocked on his butt off a few porches by bouncy knockers responders... Butt, knock the wrong door, it could be the worst knock of his life...
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
You must have never visited http://www.bigtitsroundasses.com/ then. That site will dispel all these myths.
I see your Ass/butt prefixed puns and I raise you to a Pablo Pic-ASS-o !
I wish I was him.