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First Internet-Connected Pacemaker Goes Live

The Register is reporting that a New York woman has become the first person to have her pacemaker wirelessly connected to the internet for full-time monitoring. "The device contains a radio transmitter which connects to receiving equipment in New Yorker Carol Kasyjanski's home, using a very low-power signal around 400MHz, to report on the condition of her heart. Any problems are instantly reported to the doctor, and regular checkups can be done by remotely interrogating the home-based equipment — the pacemaker itself doesn't have an IP address, fun as that would be."

32 of 158 comments (clear)

  1. Good thing there's no IP by sadness203 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I wonder what a DDoS would do to it ...

    1. Re:Good thing there's no IP by sdo1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      >I wonder what a DDoS would do to it ...

      Blue face of death?

      --
      --- What parts of "shall make no law", "shall not be infringed", and "shall not be violated" don't you understand?
    2. Re:Good thing there's no IP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Brings a whole new meaning to Ping of Death.

    3. Re:Good thing there's no IP by davester666 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Does it have a web site? Is there a web page with a button you need to push to make the guys heart beat?

      --
      Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
    4. Re:Good thing there's no IP by von_rick · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yes. It comes with a 3 day trial subscription. Then you have to upgrade to premium membership to keep it beating.

      Tech support calls are usually routed to organ donor hotline.

      --

      Face your daemons!

  2. I hope that's a one way connection by basementman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Otherwise that lady is going to be in for quite the surprise when the pacemaker starts looking at youporn.

    1. Re:I hope that's a one way connection by interkin3tic · · Score: 2, Funny

      Or starts downloading child porn. If cats can do it...

    2. Re:I hope that's a one way connection by vlm · · Score: 2, Funny

      I got the lolcat caption all ready here, but what picture for the background?

      I can haz cheezburgers. Eat lotz and lotz of greezy cheezeburgers for years and years. Then I needz uh internet connected pacemakerz.

      Sorry for the lolcat, but I had to do it.

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
  3. Yes, but... by Haxzaw · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does it run Linux?

    1. Re:Yes, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Does it run Linux?

      It does. When she sleeps, it downloads updates and reboots when she takes a shit.

      On rare occasions when there's a kernel panic, she'll stop and and stand still while her eyes glaze over until the system reboots.

      They switched to Linux when the windows version kept crashing and killing folks: the blue person of death. When the device moved to Vista, they had to open some folks up to add more memory.

      Some folks have Apple pacemakers with defibrillators. Many wanted one or another but Apple being Apple, only sold that one device. The there was the MacPacemaker Pro. It was Titanium and looked great. Some folks even had a transparent cover for their heart so others could see their Apple pacemaker. Insurance won't pay for an Apple pacemaker because the Linux one works just as well.

    2. Re:Yes, but... by pyrrhonist · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, but it does run Netbsd.

      Has Netcraft confirmed that the patient is dying?

      --
      Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
    3. Re:Yes, but... by funaho · · Score: 1, Funny

      Heh, suicide for hackers: "ssh -l root mypacemaker kill -9 1"

    4. Re:Yes, but... by von_rick · · Score: 4, Funny

      lib-pacemaker conflicts with lib-aorta and lib-left-ventricle.

      ... Dependencies not met.

      ... Stopping process /etc/heart.d

      --

      Face your daemons!

  4. Freudian slip? by Pulse_Instance · · Score: 3, Funny

    If the patent is rapidly losing consciousness

    I wonder if that was intentional or not?

  5. It's gonna be bad.... by nine-times · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now that Slashdot knows about it, it's only a matter of time before someone starts trying to hack these things. Countdown: Someone here installs Linux and runs a NES emulator on his own pacemaker in 3....2....

  6. Side note by muyla · · Score: 2, Funny

    On a side note, the pacemaker owner was recomended not to play multimedia content from youtube in his equipment so the battery lasts longer.

  7. dead by HerrBohm · · Score: 4, Funny

    ping pacemaker
    4 packets transmitted, 0 received, 100% packet loss, time 3609ms

    meaning she is gone...

  8. Here's an idea by ExE122 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why not just tap it into Twitter and utilize an existing system that's stable, easily accessible, and highly availabile? Not to mention you could keep your friends in the loop!

    --
    Capitalism: When it uses the carrot, it's called democracy. When it uses the stick, it's called fascism.
    1. Re:Here's an idea by powerlord · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't know ... I mean ... what could possibly go wrong with connecting a pacemaker to Twitter and a live internet connection?

      ...
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:30:21: I'm regulating my heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:31:21: I'm regulating my heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:32:21: I'm regulating my heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:33:21: I'm regulating my heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:34:21: I'm regulating my heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:35:21: I'm regulating my heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:32:21: Incoming update detected ...
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:35:21: Switching to Mambo beat!!!!
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:35:31: I'm regulating my p0wned!!1!! heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:36:31: I'm regulating my p0wned!!1!! heart.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:36:21: Incoming update detected ...
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:37:31: I'm regulating my p0wned!!1!! heart. ANONYMOUS RULES!!!
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:37:41: Incoming update detected ...
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:38:33: I'm regulating my p0wned!!1!! heart. Marry me J-LO!
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:38:35: Incoming update detected ...
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:39:21: I'm regulating my p0wned!!1!! heart. BEWARE THE LIDS OF MARCH!
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:39:31: Cardiac arrest detected ... initiating EMS protocol.
      1stP4ce 2009-Aug-08 11:39:31: Incoming update detected ... ...

      --
      This space for rent. All reasonable inquiries will be entertained at proprietors discretion.
  9. If it can access the internet... by Sumbius · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...then the next step is to see what a little overclocking would do to it...

  10. RIAA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    God forbid she downloads copyrighted material and the RIAA have her internet connection terminated...

  11. Re:no IP address? by roseblood · · Score: 5, Funny

    Recipient of said device breathes a sigh of relief when he discovers his heart won't be slashdotted.

    --
    There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
  12. Really changes the definition of DoS... by davidbrit2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Denial of Systolic attack?

  13. 4chan by hoggoth · · Score: 3, Funny

    Thousands of 4channers suddenly stop what they were doing and in unison spit out, 'WHAT just got connected to the Internet?' as smiles spreads across their faces. ... maybe this isn't such a good idea...

    --
    - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  14. Imagine a Beowulf Cluster of These by AP31R0N · · Score: 2, Funny

    serving as a timing belt.

    --
    Utilizing the synergization of benchmark e-solutions to pre-workaround action items!
  15. I for one welcome my ..... by hachete · · Score: 4, Funny

    .... Aaargghh

    --
    Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious
  16. I just tried to browse it... by FellowConspirator · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... I think the server crashed, just dead links.

  17. We don't need an IP, we are /. ! by burni · · Score: 2, Funny

    Doesn't matter just try out some of the 2^32 minus reserved addresses

    all /.ers Christian Name starting with an "A" take the 0.5*2^30 upper addresses and ...

    Thank good they haven't postet the IP on /.

    I suppose you don't even need a computer network of brainless bots to DDOS a computer,
    slashdot + us the faster than light clicking slashdot-crauts would fullfill the task, twice as good as any botnet can do,

    btw. "Police: Man blamed child porn on cat"

    haha next time he can blame his hacked pacemaker for doing so, it will also be very complicated to confiscate this evidence.

    and here it comes the DomainName for the Pacemaker

    http://pacemaker.chicagohope.md/

  18. Re:"Fatal error" jokes aside... by martas · · Score: 2, Funny

    Nothing wins a lot of reads like a headline making some technical advancement sound really dumb. Funny how so many readers of a high-tech news source treat high-tech advancements like Luddites.

    have you ever read /. before? that's pretty much what we do here. that and welcoming various overlords.

  19. Re:Niggers (You love that word just admit it) by Shads · · Score: 1, Funny

    Correlation does not imply causation. If it did you'd be an inbred racist hick who jumps to conclusions about statistics when they know nothing about how statistical analysis works.

    oh wait.. never mind.

    --
    Shadus
  20. I can just see it now. by nimbius · · Score: 2, Funny

    sysadmin dad: son, your grandmother is getting old and she wont be around much longer. you should cherish the times you have with her

    son: how do you know?
    sysadmin dad: i caught her throwing warnings to syslog when i was checking logwatches for the toilet and the fridge today. plus her cacti trend for ping time and load looks horrible.
    son: will grandma go to heaven?
    sysadmin dad: depends, I didnt an asset tag on her so chances are the property disposal authorization wont go through and she'll just sit on the shipping receiving dock forever.
    son: so shes going to be a ghost??
    sysadmin dad: worse, people dont leave empties on you when your a ghost.

    --
    Good people go to bed earlier.
  21. The next step: Heartbeat pop up ads! by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 2, Funny

    Click the kidney, win an iPhone!