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Man Accuses Cat of Downloading Child Porn

Posted by samzenpus on from the when-pets-go-bad dept.

bruce_the_loon writes "They have blamed viruses. They have blamed neighbors. They have accused police of planting it. In rare cases, they have admitted downloading it. This is the first time someone has accused a cat of downloading child porn onto their computer. This seems like a defense almost too stupid to be made up."

36 of 174 comments (clear)

  1. I Sympathise with the Cat by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't we all want to see 12 year old pussy every once in a while?

    1. Re:I Sympathise with the Cat by Shakrai · · Score: 2, Funny

      You realize that's 65 years old after you convert it into human years, right? ;) GILF?

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  2. This happens a lot by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    You shouldn't let your cat surf the web unattended. Without proper supervision, they will start downloading kitty porn to your hard drive.

    1. Re:This happens a lot by drpimp · · Score: 2, Funny

      Catz0r3d

      --
      -- Brought to you by Carl's JR
    2. Re:This happens a lot by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 3, Funny

      First time I ever heard about "kiddy porn", I misheard it for "kitty porn".

      For quite a while, I assumed a lot of people were getting steamed up about some weird pink anime thing, or some kind of playboy performers.

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    3. Re:This happens a lot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Especially if your cat is a purrvert.

    4. Re:This happens a lot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Jesus H. Christ. Want some cheese to go with that whine?

  3. i think you mean by loafula · · Score: 3, Funny

    kitty porn. bad, i know. lol

    --
    FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO
    1. Re:i think you mean by Etrias · · Score: 5, Funny

      oh hai! I am on ur puter, downlodings ur pr0n.

  4. PedoCat? by Faryshta · · Score: 1, Funny

    Everyone knows cats only get internet for twitter and upload pics of themselves. Bears on the other hand are to be take care of.

  5. The purrrrrrrrfect ... by neonprimetime · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...alibi

  6. Appropriate comic by HEbGb · · Score: 3, Funny

    http://lol-comics.livejournal.com/63218.html

  7. lol cat by ExE122 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can haz blame?

    --
    Capitalism: When it uses the carrot, it's called democracy. When it uses the stick, it's called fascism.
    1. Re:lol cat by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      No, lolcats are fine, it's the loli-cat that did it.

  8. Chris Hansen should interview the cat by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    He'll get to the bottom of this.

      "You walk in here on all fours naked making strange noises and rubbing against my leg..who knows what would have happened if I hadn't been here"

  9. This is why I don't own a cat by JoshuaZ · · Score: 3, Funny

    The article doesn't mention that the cat left a note for the man warning him of dire consequences if it didn't get fresh fish more frequently.

  10. This proves it! by travdaddy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dogs As Intelligent As Average Two-Year-Old Children.

    But a cat is capable of using the Internet (not to mention framing his owner). Sorry, dog owners, cats are clearly smarter!

    --
    Adidas To Bring Back Sneakernet
  11. And for sure he used.. by ctrl-alt-canc · · Score: 3, Funny

    netcat.

  12. Note to self by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Note to self -- get a cat.

  13. Re:There is software to protect against this... by i_liek_turtles · · Score: 3, Funny

    I've learned that leaving your cat unattended with your keyboard can lead to interesting consequences. --Dexter Douglas

  14. Re:There is software to protect against this... by swanzilla · · Score: 1, Funny

    bitboost.com's PawSense is available for Windows 95/98/ME, NT, 2000, XP, and Vista....I guess that pretty much eliminates everyone here.

    --
    0 = 1 + e^(Alt something)
  15. Re:There is software to protect against this... by muyla · · Score: 4, Funny

    From the software FAQ:

    Q: My cat is deaf. Can you help me?

            A: PawSense detects the paws of even deaf cats. Even if a cat is deaf, PawSense blocks cat typing once detected. This makes it harder for the cat to mess up your programs, data files, and operating system.

            However, PawSense does not include a miracle cure for deafness.

    1 - How stupid can a person be before he is legally considered handicaped?
    2 - I wonder how much they charge extra for the deluxe package with miracle cure included!

  16. Makes jury duty attractive by smchris · · Score: 3, Funny

    If counties were smart, they'd have a "serve one, get a second silly one" deal.

  17. Re:Are Amazon patents a bad idea...? by stewbee · · Score: 2, Funny

    Imagine the chaos that a cat could cause if one-lick ordering is enabled.

    fixed that for you....Thank you, thank you very much. I will be here all week. Don't forget to tip the waitstaff..

  18. Re:Idle? by daremonai · · Score: 5, Funny

    I didn't - it was my cat who clicked on this!

  19. Uh oh... by bughunter · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have over 1 Quadrillion pornographic images on my computer.

    Yes, I'm a Petaphile.

    --
    I can see the fnords!
    1. Re:Uh oh... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      And if you download porn images that aren't quite finished yet then you are a betaphile.

  20. Re:Plausible deniability by devotedlhasa · · Score: 2, Funny

    Pawsable deniability

  21. I AM IN YUR COMPUTER by jameskojiro · · Score: 2, Funny

    DOWNLOADING YUR PR0N....

    So quoth the Almighty LOL-Cat

    --
    Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
  22. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  23. If the cat is found guilty... by malchus6 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...will he be sentenced in Cat years?

    --
    You can fool some of the people all of the time ... and those are the ones you should concentrate on.
  24. Re:Florida by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    4. Video of you being prisonraped uploaded to interwebs.

    Your cat will find this as well.

  25. Obligatory... by FatRichie · · Score: 2, Funny

    Play him off, keyboard cat...

  26. Need a new cat by SnarfQuest · · Score: 3, Funny

    My cat only downloads articles from wikipedia. Mostly stuff on herbs and computer pointing devices. Guess I need a cat that hasn't been spayed.

    --
    Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
  27. oops by hasbeard · · Score: 3, Funny

    You can't leave an unattended mouse around a cat.

  28. The real tragedy... by tacarat · · Score: 2, Funny

    His dog did the downloading and set the cat up to take the fall.

    --
    "Common sense will be the death of us all"