Burglar Logs Into Facebook On Victim's Computer

yet-another-lobbyist writes to mention that Facebook addiction has finally caused real world consequences, at least for one would-be burglar. It seems that 19-year-old Jonathan Parker couldn't stay away from the popular social networking site, even long enough to rob a house. Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status on the victim's computer, but left it logged in to his account when he left.

Comments

"You have been poked by the Police"

[CdBee]

Seriously - what a muffin.... Wonder how his addiction will do, in jail...

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[JSBiff]

So, will his status for the next 3-5 years be updated to:

JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence in the State Penn.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[SomeoneGotMyNick]

he was iFramed

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, thankfully you broke the curse. None of us are laughing at what you wrote.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Dishevel]

An iFrame is .... Ahh forget it. AC and stupid. No way facts are going to make it past your assumptions.

That was you?

[dmmiller2k]

Parker, you scoundrel!

just too funny

[onepoint]

Darwin effects will always rule!

Jonathan Parker

[Phoenixlol]

is postin this from this house im robin... WAD UP JAY!!1 WANNA CHILL TONIHGT/

stupidity

[sopssa]

Always when I think I've seen the most stupidity ever, there comes a next sucker and tops it.

Next on news, casino robbers twitter about the process using @heist tag while executing their plan.

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

You fired them for checking their email? Thank god they didn't make a phone call or you guys would have had to send the hit squad.

Re:stupidity

[gandhi_2]

are 2.7^15 to 1 against

Coincidentally, 2 954 312.71 is the phone number of the Islington Flat where a cleaning crew supervisor learned that he had lost a contract.

Re:stupidity

[da5idnetlimit.com]

In one of our offices, failure to lock your screen means you'll send an email proposing your sexual favours to a bunch of same sex colleagues for a modicum of money.

Second offender in the same day makes the same offer, but to both sexes, and for a lower amount.

This taught basic security to all newcomers.

It is lucky that :
- Most of us got caught, and pass on the joke
- we all have a sense of humor
- we are not in the US 8p

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

I'm thinking an aluminium keyboard (do they exist) and I bit of electrical wiring may help turn the joke around.

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

I used to screen shot the desktop, set it as wallpaper then drag all the icons off screen.

Did he update his status?

[Toe, The]

I can just imagine it...

Status: Robbing a house at 319 Elm St. ROTFL!

Re:Did he update his status?

[camperdave]

I don't have an account
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments.

...or if they've fixed the idle
comment entry field yet.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't have an account

either, but it might be like

checking Slashdot to see

if anyone replied to your

comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

comment entry field yet.

That was like the worst poem ever.

Re:Did he update his status?

[mrdoogee]

Burmashave!

Re:Did he update his status?

[clone53421]

I don't have an account

either, but it might be like

checking Slashdot to see

if anyone replied to your

comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

comment entry field yet.

That was like the worst poem ever.

Burma-Shave.

Re:Did he update his status?

[CdBee]

Facebook could REALLY improve their traffic levels if every 24 hours they autochanged statuses to "is sucking a cock" unless the user logged in before the time-out......

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, that would take care of homophobic men and anyone without a sense of humor.

What about the heterophobic women with a sense of humor?

Venn Fai

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Your mom wouldn't have to log in as often.

Facebook Status:

[Codex_of_Wisdom]

JOHN PARKER is robbing a house :)
updated 2:57 PM today

Further evidence...

[idontgno]

that criminals aren't criminals because they're too smart to hold down a regular job.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

You've got to remember where this happened - Martinsburg, WV... where they old saw goes:

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Because anywhere else it would have bene called a teethbrush.

Status

[Manos_Of_Fate]

I can only assume he was stopping to set his status to "is about to get arrested for burglary".

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[ckaminski]

Smart ones take the FUCKING COMPUTER!

Mafia Wars?

[stonefry]

Perhaps he needed to make sure his mafia wars character was doing ok. Maybe he needed to rob some mega casinos or something.

Re:Frame job?

[Brigadier]

I have a few friends who are detectives in two local jurisdictions, one being the lapd. After learning of some interrogation tactics only a seasoned criminal really has a chance, well them and those who are smart enough to request a lawyer immediately. I fully see the following scenario.

cop: So mr iamsosexyinthewv you do realize your mafia wars experience points will be subtracted once this goes to court right !?
perp: What do you mean they will be subtracted when i go to court.
cop: well if you weren't on the scene then they don't count.
perp: Your damn straight I was on the scene, I just got to cuba and i'm not about to go back.

or something like that...

A newer spin...

[mevets]

Why is there no CSI Hillsboro? There are no dental records and everybody has the same DNA.....

Re:What I want to know is ...

[Ingcuervo]

of course he is not a professional, social networking on working hours????

Re:What I want to know is ...

[clone53421]

It's actually sorta in the middle, between "backslash" and "shift". Pounding on the "return" probably isn't a good idea, though, cause you might break the keyboard.

Re:Frame job?

[hawk]

Back when I handled criminals, I had some *real* dumb ones, but my favorite robbed a friend's credit union.

When the police found him, he leaped up to tell them that the money in one pocket was his; that theirs was on the other. And when they brought the teller out to ID him, *he* IDed *her* instead!

Yes, criminals really are this dumb.

hawk, esq

Protip for criminals

[Lord Grey]

Habitual Multitaskers Do It Badly.

Dumbass.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[networkBoy]

I'd take the TV remotes and the hard disks.
Leave everything else untouched...

Burglary to fsck with people sounds more fun than anything else...
-nB

as a victim of a burglary recently I must note that I would kill me if I ever caught me doing said things. Also, that the first thing I thought when I saw the door busted was *please god not the server*.

Full of LOL

[EkriirkE]

Here's his MySpace:
http://www.myspace.com/parkersworld16

And a choice quote from one of his friends:

...Aubrey wants you to join their mob in Mobsters, a Mafia-style combat game played on MySpace.

Start out as a petty thief and work your way up to become a Mob Don!

Daytime bulgrary?

[SlashDev]

"Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary." Is there a felony nighttime burglary? How about after nap burglary?

In Soviet Russia...

[WWWWolf]

Ah, back in the Soviet Union days, the social networking at least made sense and didn't leave any incriminating evidence. Back then, after all, "social networking" was just notes on the kitchen table:

"I've gone to the women's activism group at the collective meeting hall. The supper is in the oven. Long live the Party! -Mother."
"I've gone to the Young Pioneer Palace to meet my friends. Long live the Party! -Son."
"I've gone to the political rally in the city. Long live the Party! -Dad."
"I've stolen everything of value in this house. Long live the Party! -Thief."

See? New technology isn't always better.